Part 1: "He's a Girl"

"OK we're here, so what's the big announcement?" Asked Hawkeye, his normal sarcasm dulled somewhat by sleepiness

"And why did it have to be announced so early in the morning?" chimed in BJ, with a yawn.

"Oh would you too can it for once," said Margaret, as Major Winchester looked on smugly from the back of the room.

"Listen up people." Colonel Potter interrupted before his staff broke out into a brawl. "We are finally getting another surgeon, A Captain O'Brien. He will be moving into the swamp and I expect you to be on your best behavior." The last part was said with a pointed look at Hawkeye and BJ.

"Perhaps he may provide a civilized distraction from these cretins I am forced to reside with."

"When will the captain be arriving?" asked Margaret.

"Within the hour" responded Colonel Potter. The group nodded. "If there are no further questions you're all dismissed.

"Attention attention incoming surgeon!" boomed Radar's voice over the loudspeaker.

Most of the camp came outside to greet the newcomer. A jeep pulled into camp driven by a young private with a women in the passenger seat. The woman scanned the crowd then walked over to the Colonel. "Good morning sir, you must be Col Potter; I'm Dr. Abigail O'Brien."

The Colonel tried to control his surprise. "Welcome Captain, Ahh why don't you come with me to my office."

"Yes sir"

"Notice something strange about him Beej?"

"You mean like he's. a girl?"

"A rather attractive girl in fact." said Hawkeye with a characteristic twinkle in his eye.

"Have a seat Captain." Captain potter said as he sat behind his own desk.

"Yes sir," she said taking the seat opposite him.

"Well Captain, you've taken us a bit by surprise."

"I don't understand."

"You see we were told to expect a new surgeon. A Captain O'Brien, but not your first name."

"I see sir, so you assumed I was a man."

"Quite frankly yes, we did, I'm sorry Captain."

"It's quite all right sir, I hope this doesn't cause any problems."

"Well the only thing I can think is your sleeping arrangements, as we were planning to thrown you in the swamp with the other surgeons. Oh don't worry," Potter said noting her confused expression, "It's what they've named their tent, rather aptly too I'm afraid. Anyway you certainly can't live there. Radar!" he shouted, and the corporal appeared instantly.

"Yes sir"

"Where can we find a bunk for Captain O'Brien here? The swamp certainly won't due."

"Yes sir, I mean No sir, of course not sir. I'm not sure sir. We're rather crowed here what with the incident at the 5034."

Colonel Potter turned to Cap. O'Brien to explain, "Another MASH was shelled last week, we have a few of their patients as well as some of their personnel staying with us at the moment." Turning back to Radar he continued, "The nurses' tent is full I take it?"

"Yes sir, they already have two extra nurses staying with them."

"What about Major Houlihan?"

"She has wounded nurses staying with her."

"The VIP tent."

"Full of visiting surgeons"

"Well Radar, what tents aren't stuffed to capacity with people?"

"Well ah, yours sir, the swamp, the mess, the showers, and the supply tent, I think that' s all sir."

"I don't want to be of any trouble sir." Dr O'Brien piped in.

"Nonsense!" Colonel Potter replied. "Finding you a room is a very minor unconvinced compared with how grateful we are to having another surgeon around."

"Thank you sir. What about the supply tent?"

"What about it?"

"The corporal mentioned it as one of the places with space, would there be room to tuck an extra bed in a corner someplace?"

"Radar?"

"Yes sir, I think that could be arranged."

"Well I don't particularly like putting my new surgeon in the supply tent like a spare box of sutures, but suppose it will have to do for now. Radar, go ahead and get some furniture in there for her, and have her belongings brought in."

"Yes sir" said Radar and left the room.

"As for you Captain O'Brien would you like to join me in the mess for a cup of what passes for coffee around here?"

"Thank you sir, that sounds nice."

The two entered the mess and sat down at a table with their coffee. Abby looked up and nearly choked on her coffee. Approaching them was a man wearing high heals, a pink dress, a feather boa, and hoop earrings.

"Excuse me Colonel, but General Montgomery is on the phone for you sir."

"Thank you Klinger, if you'll excuse me Captain I'm afraid duty calls."

"Of course sir."

With that Colonel Potter went off with the cross-dresser apparently named Klinger leaving Abby alone with her thoughts. This was certainly turning out to be an interesting day. Showing up at a camp that expected her to be a man, being assigned quarters in the supply tent, and meeting a man who dressed like a woman. An interesting place indeed. At least the CO seemed like a decent man. He was surprised when he discovered his new surgeon was a woman but he hadn't seemed angry or condescending. Hopefully the rest of the camp would be as open to a female surgeon. The last place she'd been stationed certainly wasn't. The CO had been condescending, her fellow surgeons insisted on treating her like another nurse, and the nurses were spiteful. At least living in the supply tent she wouldn't be subjected to roommates who hated her. Abby really hoped she could find a place to fit in here. Finishing her coffee she got up to leave. As she stepped out the door she bumped into a familiar face. "Ah, Corporal Radar isn't it?"

"Just Radar Ma'am"

"All right Radar, I was wondering if you could show me to my tent?"

"Actually Captain O'Brien, Colonel Potter asked me to give you a full tour around camp, if that's all right with you Ma'am."

"That sounds lovely Radar, but would you do me a favor."

"Of course Ma'am, what is it?"

"Would you stop calling me Captain and Ma'am?"

"What do you want to be called Ma'am? Oops, sorry Captain, I mean"

"It's ok Radar," Abby interrupted him, "Abby will be fine, or if you must give me a title," she said noting Radar's expression, "Call me Dr. O'Brien."

"All right Dr. O'Brien."

"Thank you, when people call me Captain it just doesn't feel like they're talking to me."

Radar gave Abby a full tour of the camp ending with the supply tent. "Here we are Dr., the supply tent; I mean your new home here at 4077."

"Thank you very much Radar," she said, giving him a warm smile. Abbey looked at her door and grinned. Underneath the old sign reading supply tent was a new hand written sign reading Captain Abigail O'Brien MD.

"We wanted people to remember it's someone's room now and they can't just go barging in all the time. We found a bed, a bedside table with a lamp, and a footlocker for you stuff. I hope everything is OK. Oh and your belongings should be sitting on you bed."

"Thank you Radar, it looks lovely."

"If there's anything else you need let me know. Oh and lunch should be in the mess in about an hour.

"OK"

"I guess I'll see you later Dr. O'Brien."