Title: A Breakfast Club Parody (2/?)

Author: Wari

E-mail: fa_chan@yahoo.com

Rating: R for bad language, drug use, and SLASH

Archive?: Sure, just ask for my permission.

Feedback: I crave your comments so bring them on!

Comments: This is based solely on the classic 80s flick, "The Breakfast Club."

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Mighty Ducks characters. Disney does. And as for "The Breakfast Club", I don't claim any rights to it, either. I'm not that brilliant, you know? :P

WARNING: Everyone portrayed is majorly OOC! Julie is a prissy stuck-up, Portman is a bad-ass (hey, stop looking at me like that), Charlie is a jock (well, I guess that wasn't so off-the-mark), Adam's weird and has problems (well…it's different from how he normally acts, ok?), and Ken is "the stereotyped smart Asian kid".

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Shortly after Dean Buckley's departure, everyone calmed down, kicked back, and relaxed. Dean, Ken, Julie, and Charlie were practically falling asleep with their eyes open, boredom already having settled over the majority of the group. Adam, however, was sitting in the back and biting off his fingernails, spitting the bits of chewed up keratin in all kinds of different directions.

Initially, no one noticed, or rather, no one cared. But after so many minutes of hearing loud, rhythmic 'clacking' and spitting noises, the others just could stand it any longer. Slowly, they all turned to stare incredulously at Adam, who continued gnawing, blissfully unaware of the strange looks he was receiving.

He was finally pulled from his rapt state of mind by Dean's smooth voice.

"Hey."

Adam cracked opened one eye and glared at Dean, who was, of course, unaffected by the look.

"If you manage to eat your entire hand now, then you're not gonna be hungry for lunch, kid."

Julie rolled her eyes at Dean's comment and turned back to the front of the room. Adam narrowed his eye and hatefully spit some of his chewed nails at Dean.

Following the minor episode, boredom gradually set in once more. As an alternative to the monotony, Ken stuck a couple of pens up his nose, poorly imitating a walrus and inadvertently attracting Dean's attention from across the aisle. The older boy glowered at him, and immediately, he pulled the pens out of his nostrils and stuffed them back inside the backpack his mother had insisted he bring along.

Quickly losing interest in Ken and his exploits, Dean hummed a little tune to himself, picked up his piece of paper, waded it up into a ball, and threw it at Julie, barely missing the back of her head. Julie flinched as the ball of paper flew past her ear. Turning to Charlie, she deadpanned, "I can't believe this is really happening to me."

"Oh, shit! I just thought of something!" Dean interjected, drawing attention to himself.

"What?" Charlie asked, annoyed.

Dean looked at him with huge, exaggerated eyes. "What if we have to take a piss?? Oh, man, because I REALLY have to go NOW!" Dean soundly unzipped his trousers and closed his eyes, his actions earning him plenty of protests from Julie and Charlie.

"Eww, someone stop him!" commanded Julie, who had gotten up and walked as far as possible away from Dean.

Charlie stood and gave Dean the evil eye. "No way, José. You're not peeing in here. And that's not a request."

"Shhh!! Don't talk! Don't talk or it won't come," Dean said, concentrating hard on the matter at hand.

"You're disgusting, you know that?" Julie spat from across the room. Dean finally opened his eyes and smirked, zipping up his fly. Suckers, the whole lot of 'em, he thought triumphantly. "You're not the first to tell me that, babe," he laughed at the scowl that had distorted Julie's pretty face.

"Just shut the hell up, Portman."

Raising an eyebrow, Dean cocked his head in Charlie's direction. "What's the matter, Sport-o? Am I too much for you? Aww, I'm really sorry about that."

Giving Dean one last contemptuous look, Charlie took a deep breath and sat down, turning back around in his seat. This jerk wasn't worth getting into any more trouble for. Besides, he had to make the crucial hockey game tonight. He can at least not screw up that commitment he had made to his dad.

As Dean and Charlie lapsed back into silence, Julie edged back to her seat. She sat down, casting a wary glance over her shoulder at Dean. At that moment, Dean lifted his eyes from the desktop to spy her watching him. Caught staring, Julie broke eye contact and turned her head away with a cough.

After dismissing Julie's odd stare, Dean leaned back and propped his feet on top of the table to face Ken, who surprisingly hasn't started on his paper. "Hey, you," he addressed the smaller boy.

Ken had been counting the number of tiles in the ceiling, oblivious to his surroundings. He brought his attention from the ceiling of the library to stare dumbly at Dean. "Me?"

"Yeah, you, Poindexter."

Ken wrote off the mild insult with a small laugh.

"Say, why don't you go close that door," Dean suggested, nodding at the double doors. "We could have quite a party with little miss popularity over here," he finished, leering at Julie.

Julie's eyes widened as she turned her head to yell at Dean. "You asshole! Leave me out of this!"

"Yeah," Charlie added in Julie's defense. "And if I lose my temper, then you're totaled, man."

"Totally?" Dean mocked.

"Totally," Charlie promised, looking like he wanted to murder the other teenager.

From his obscure corner, Adam watched the whole scene from underneath his bangs. He held back a chortle as Julie joined the banter.

"Puh-leeze, nobody here's interested," chimed Julie, who looked absolutely annoyed and insulted.

"Really," Charlie scoffed. "Butt-face."

Dean laughed at them both. "Whatever, man. Whatever."

A few minutes later, order was reestablished yet again; however, peace didn't last too long, since Dean saw fit to start up another one of his 'conversations.' First, he needed to pick a target. His eyes fell on Charlie.

"Well, Sport-o, what did you do to get in this joint? Forget to wash your jock, perhaps?" he teased, knowing that Charlie would easily take the bait.

"Uh, I don't think we're supposed to be speaking," said Ken and all eyes turned to acknowledge him. Dean disregarded his comment and continued taunting Charlie.

"Well?"

"Hey, just because you're in here with the rest of us doesn't give you the right to be a major pain in the ass," Charlie countered, narrowing his eyes at Dean, who shrugged offhandedly.

"It's a free country, fella. I can do whatever the hell I please."

"Charlie," Julie butt in on his behalf and threw Dean a mean look. "He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Ignore him, okay?"

Dean pouted at her. "Aww, sweetie, you couldn't ignore me if you tried." He blew her a kiss and laughed at the disgusted expression on her face. At that moment, he decided that his favorite pastime was officially to annoy the hell out of Julie in every possible way.

By now, Adam was perched precariously on his chair, observing the general chaos emitting from the front of the library. Smiling gleefully, he watched them with a spark of curiosity in his kohl-lined, blue eyes.

Unexpectedly, Dean gaped, as if he'd had an epiphany. "Whoa!" he exclaimed, gesturing to both Charlie and Julie. "So…are you guys boyfriend/girlfriend?"

Julie stared at Charlie, giving him a 'here-we-go-again' look. In the background, Dean continued with his questions.

"Steady dates?"

Charlie returned the look and tightly clenched his fist.

"Or are you two fuck buddies?"

Julie tensed in her chair. She could tell that Charlie was as aggravated as she was. In fact, he looked like he was prone to explode at any given moment. Ken was trying to mind his own business and start his essay, like a good student. He had to finish his essay quickly, so he could get to studying and make use of this stupid Saturday detention. Nevertheless, he still couldn't help but listen in on their conversation and the argument that would definitely ensue. Adam, on the other hand, stared openly to the three, amusement lighting his face.

"Come on. Level with me, Sport-o, do you slip her the hot…beef…injection?"

That was undeniably the straw that broke the camel's back. Julie and Charlie lashed out at Dean immediately.

"Enough!" Charlie yelled, getting up and making his way towards Dean.

"Go to hell, you fucker!" shouted Julie, looking like she was ready to jump out of her chair to throttle Dean.

Ken's eyes were as wide as saucers. He instantly scrambled out of his chair and away from the Charlie, Julie, and Dean.

Following their outburst, they all heard footsteps, belonging to none other than Dean Buckley, who was approaching from the entrance. Ken hurried back to his table and threw himself into his chair just in time as the Dean entered the library.

Indeed, Dean Buckley, face contorted with anger, marched up to stand in front of the room.

"What in the blazes is going on here?! Conway? Portman?"

His mission to pound the crap out of Dean quickly forgotten, Charlie ran back to his table and at the sound of Dean Buckley's bellow. Julie and Portman hastily followed his example.

The three pretended to look clueless and play dumb, while Ken went back to staring at his blank sheet of paper. Adam giggled loudly from his corner, attracting the Dean's attention. He pointed a shaky finger at Adam.

"You better watch it, young man!"

Adam's response was only to smile and coquettishly bat his eyelashes at the Dean, who went on with his reprimand.

"Whatever you all are doing in here, just know that you can never pull the wool over MY eyes," he warned.

"Baa~~!"

Julie would've giggled at Dean's clowning around, if she wasn't so mad at him.

The Dean's eyes narrowed at the trouble-maker. "Ha ha. I'll let that slide for now, Mr. Portman. But if I see or hear any more trouble coming from here, I can guarantee that everybody's going down."

For the second time that morning, Dean Buckley stormed out, muttering about punks and teenagers.

Silence reigned until Dean spoke up, poking a thumb in the direction of the doorway.

"I dunno about you guys, but did he just threaten us?"