The Normal Life
By Didi

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that are recognizable and I certainly don't own the show. Don't sue me cause all you're going to get is lent, and not much of that either.

Rating: R for restricted under 17.
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-Kanin's POV-

The coppery sting on my tongue was barely registering in my mind as I lifted my head and howled at the full moon that hovered high in the sky even as dawn announced its arrival by the sliver of purple on the horizon barely seen through the dense trees that surrounded us. For a moment, I was lost in something... primitive, something I had never experienced in my life. Sanity, civility, humanity, morality; gone. John Kanin wasn't there. He, the human that lived all his life always questioning everything around him, knowing little and wanting so much more; he slipped easily away into the dark recesses of my mind. Something, someone else stood in his place... and I reveled in its power.

It was almost frightening how quickly I can lose myself in it. What ever 'it' was.

Then I turned my head and I see those eyes, like the brightest, most brilliant star in the sky. And I come down to Earth, to the angel that I had been blessed with in this mortal life. Funny... her very presence, her safety, her emotions... they can calm me and send me into rage with the same speed, the same understanding. She was everything.

*It's over,* she says to me quietly, her muzzle against mine in the most natural way as I allow her peace to wash over me, easing the rage and pain that surged only minutes before.

Turning my head, I looked at the body by my side, the one that had reverted to its human form. The one whose blue eyes still registered his surprise and dismay even as it glazed over with death. I should be appalled at myself by the very fact that I had killed for no other reason except that... that he needed killing.

I also valued my sense of justice... of honor. This place I'm in, this pack that I've now entered, it was different. Different from everything I've ever known. The rules that that governed my life, it does not necessary apply to everything here. Right may no longer be good. Wrong may no longer be evil. Nothing was the same, nothing was... is...

*It's okay,* same the whispered assurance. Warm breath brushed against me. *We'll make it okay.*

I believed her cause I want to, cause I need to. And cause I know she won't lie to me, not about this.

*I love you, Ruby.* I needed to hear the words, to know that it was still here.

*I will always love you, John.* Her heart was in her eyes and felt the world turned right again.

*I hate to interrupt,* the voice was deep, troubled by something dark. Sheriff Donner came, all four legs rigidly still on the ground. *But dawn is coming and we need to clear the bodies before the rest of the town wakes.*

Ruby nodded her head, and looked at me. *They mustn't know.*

I understood that. I understood more than I should.

*Get moving people,* Donner yelled at the rest of the pack that were standing here, staring at him... no, at us. The eyes, those sharp deadly eyes weren't just on their Alpha. They were on me too, making all the fur on me stand up quickly and dangerously.

*Relax,* Ruby warned me as some of them padded off to do what was needed. Some seemed to be having some trouble turning away. *Let me handle it.*

I'm glad one of us knew what to do. *It's all yours, Babe.*

She trotted off toward the ones that were still standing here, watching me. I had the most unfortunate sensation that they were waiting for me to do something. What that something was is completely beyond me.

*You all right?* Donner asked, his eyes already doing a quick assessment.

*Define that,* I told him as I licked a spot on my leg, then tried to spit. *Oh god, why did I just do that?!?*

Donner chuckled, it was almost a relief to hear it. *Instinct. You can't help it.*

*This is going to take some getting use to, isn't it?* I asked the licked the spot again without really knowing I had done it.

*Yeah, especially for you,* he replied, eyes going to the group that sat at the edge of the clearing conferring quickly with Ruby. *Hum... it's already beginning.*

*What?* I wanted to know. The troubled look in his eyes didn't bode well. I hate being in the dark. Really, really hate it. *What's wrong?*

He shook his head, his sigh was full of resignation and regret. *Go home, get cleaned up and get some sleep. Molly and Drake will handle the station today. Come see me tonight, after dark, at my house. Bring Ruby and don't travel alone today. Don't talk to anyone else except your wife and Blackstone. We need to deal with this before any more blood is lost. We cannot afford for this to get out of hand, not after tonight.*

*What are you talking about?* already I'm in a the twilight zone again. God, when am I going to catch up with the rest of the class. I have this awful feeling that he knows something I need to, something critical. Well heck, he probably does. And judging by the way the rest of the pack is watching me, I would say that that rest of the pack knows it too. So... again... I'm the only one that knows nothing. I getting sick of this. *Listen, I need to...*

*Get some sleep,* Ruby interjected as she joined her. Her eyes held the same kind of as Donner's does. Not good sign. *Honey, I'll explain later. Right now, I just want to go home and make love to you.*

The cynical side of me thinks that she said that just to distract me, cause all kinds of imagines popped up in my mind that had me thinking of everything other than the getting the answers to the questions that were burning holes in my head. The logical side of me said that she's scared and tried and needs sleep. And when I took a step toward her, all decisions were taken out of my hands.

The sheering pain down my right side reminded me that I'd just barely survived a fight to the death. I turned to see that I was literally covered in blood and that gouge along my flank looked pretty bad. *Um... Ruby. I think that'll have to wait until this hole in my side is taken care of and I get over the urge to kill Tyler Creed again for doing this to me.*

*Considering his dead and you're not, I think you can afford to forgive him,* V commented dryly as she approached quiet from our left. *The others are dragging the bodies over toward the East end. We'll need a story.*

*Get Derek to handle it,* Donner said without turning. He was still studying my face. *It's time he earned his position as Beta.*

*I'll get on it,* she murmured quietly, her eyes linger on us all for a second. There was something that flashed there, something dangerously, something directed at me. A warning maybe?

Donner turned and watched for a moment. *She'll make trouble if we don't handle this quickly and quietly and smoothly,* he turned to Ruby. *Tonight, my house. We settles this before it blows up in our faces. I'll get Sherman.*

Ruby nodded, looking like she swallowed something nasty. *This isn't how I had planned things.*

*I know that,* Donner responded turning about, getting ready to head out. *But maybe it's for the best. Never wanted this job to be with.* Then disappeared into the woods with a powerful kick, spraying dirt and moss. There was something rather... beautiful about him. Strange.

*John, let's get out of here. I think we deserve one good night's right after all this. Cause I don't think there's going to be anymore of those to come for some time,* she took off before I got a change to ask about that. And all I could do was follow as she headed unerringly back toward the cabin.

What exactly am I to make of all of this?
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TBC....

Author's Note: Hopefully this can be wrapped up in three more chapters.