Part 6

Her hands were trembling so much! Lena reached for the yellowed and brittle paper that lay folded underneath the frame, tucked into the corner of the drawer behind which her grandfather worked every day of the rest of his life. Lena refused to allow the moisture in her eyes to fall. Instead, she blinked them away and set her jaw as she carefully unfolded the piece of history that every one in the Luthor family managed to hide from her.

It was written in the same handwriting as that from the back of the first photograph she had seen in the room. Lena recognized the words from one her classes. It was a poem so isolated from her own experience that she had pushed it out of her mind the moment she closed the textbook. However, being the Luthor that she was, the lines had permanently etched themselves in her brain.

Lena touched the flowing script and read, "Sunset and evening star, And one clear call for me! And may there be no moaning of the bar, When I put out to sea."

~~

Two figures were silhouetted as one against the sunset glory of the beach. The sky was motley red, orange, violet and blue. The sand was dry but did not touch the skin of the two people who whispered to each other as they watched the last seconds of daylight fade and get swallowed by the water. A heavy blanket was thrown over the man's back as he plastered his body against every inch of her skin.

His voice resonated through her body as he spoke into her hair. Lex brushed a kiss on her temple as his arms tightened around her, his hands clasped just above the swell of her belly. "But such a tide as moving seems asleep." The words from his lips flowed like warm honey, wrapping her in an intangible embrace. "Too full for sound and foam. When that which drew from out the boundless deep, Turns again home."

Chloe sighed and settled back deeper in his arms. She turned her head to the side and listened to the thudding beat of his heart. When he did not continue, she said softly, "Twilight and evening bell, And after that the dark! And may there be no sadness of farewell when I embark."

He made a quick shushing sound to silence her. She took another breath. There were words best left unsaid, and she knew that the next he did not want her to say. But Chloe had asked him to recite the poem to her, and he would not. "Shhhh," came his plea again.

Chloe whispered, "For though from out our bourne of Time and Place, The flood may bear me far-"

"Chloe." Again.

"I hope to see my pilot face to face, When I have crost the bar," she finished.

Lex laid his forehead on the top of her head and took in deep, calming breaths. When he left the plant to his brother, Lucas commented on the well- deserved break that Lex would have, a vacation from the stress of work, of the business, of prying eyes and of an unwanted wife. What Lex neglected to tell his brother was that the vacation would not be for fun, or for respite from the stress. He was meeting every aspect of the dark face of his life head-on.

At times like this he wanted to yell at her, because she was the one who chose to stop therapy to have a child. A child was something that could have been picked up from any orphanage in the country. But Chloe was as stubborn and obdurate as the day he met her, and would not agree to a procedure that could save her life. It was easy, he told himself. It would have been. They could opt to have a baby when she was better. A life for a life. The baby for hers.

Yet at times like this, when she was in pain and all she could do was bury herself deeper in his embrace, he knew he would never tell her that. At these moments when he remembered what she sacrificed for what to him was nothing more than heartbeat that was not her own, under her skin, he also knew that he could not love her more than he did.

He would run his hands soothingly over her skin to remind her that despite being unable to open her eyes because of the pain, he remained beside her. He felt her body relax against his and heard her say, "There are no oceans in Metropolis, Lex."

"Then don't go home yet," he told her simply. [I]And all that drew from out the boundless deep turns again home. [/I]"Don't go home. There. You have me here."

[I]The flood may bear me far.[/I] "Okay," she agreed, smiling at him as she moved her hand to the part of the tight stomach where the baby's heart fluttered like a butterfly's wings. "I'll stay."

It was a promise she intended with all of her heart to keep.

~~

Lena replaced the poem inside the drawer and covered it with the frame. She was suddenly filled with warring emotions of betrayal and despair. Her grandfather had had a child with the woman at the same time that Helen Luthor was pregnant. Even as she was scandalized by the idea, Lena knew that she was fooling herself. She turned around and was confronted by a mirror, belying the conclusion she forced herself into.

Staring at her image that was suddenly no longer such a stranger, Lena hand teased the locks around her face. She had always been an aberration in features and temperament. Quickly, she looked away, unwilling to analyze the aspects of herself that she was now beginning to recognize. As long as she refused to believe it, it would remain untrue.

[I]I hope to see my pilot face to face when I have crost the bar,[/I] another voice whispered into her ear. Now, the spiteful part of Lena wished adamantly that Chloe Sullivan never received her wish, and that she burned in hell for the sin she forced Lex Luthor into. Yet every time she remembered the disjointed puzzle that she was piecing together, her determination to curse the woman wavered-only the need to curl up in bed and lull herself to sleep remained.

"It's not true," she whispered to herself again. The picture flashed in her mind, of bouncing blonde hair and bright green eyes, of Lex Luthor looking down at the woman with a look of love he never possessed during his marriage to Helen, of her gradfather's hand clasped possessively around the swell of a pregnant stomach.

"No," she repeated. "Her baby died along with her. And then grandpa realized his mistake and went home to grandma and his baby with his real wife!"

She never noticed when the tears fell. The next thing Lena knew, she was standing outside the door, shaking her head and being forced to open her eyes.

"Lena!"

Lena looked up at her cousin's intense glare. "No," she simply told him.

"It's all true, Lena."

"No!" she bit back. "She was pregnant and then she died. That was all there is. You cannot force me to reconsider my entire life, Ted. That's not how it works! I'm not a different person because my grandfather couldn't follow his vows!"

Ted's grip on her upper arm was firm. He dragged her back inside the room, this time coming in with her and forcing her to sit down on the dusty couch in a mock entertainment room. "I thought you were strong enough to go through everything first, Lena. But you're showing a side to yourself that was never in the Luthor clan, nor in the Sullivan's for that matter, if my grandfather told all his stories right."

Lena stomped her foot on the floor and glared at her cousin. "I've had enough lies for one day." She stood up and gasped when Ted grabbed her arm and threw him back down again.

"Watch it," he commanded firmly. "I was tasked to do this job and I will do this whether you're willing or not. I owe it to my legacy as part of this family."

"And I owe it to myself to do what I think is best for me. And I think I don't need this," Lena refuted.

Ted shook his head. "You don't owe it to yourself that you just exhibited some strength of character that you never witnessed in Helen or your own mother," he said with light sarcasm. "Well I don't care anymore what you owe to yourself. I care about what you owe your grandfather and your grandmother. And I'm not talking about the one you stubbornly insist on recognizing after all you've seen."

Lena watched warily and furiously as Ted turned the television on and inserted the black tape into the player. The screen went white and flashed with colors. Sound burst from the speakers of her grandfather Lex's familiar voice. There was sound of a baby crying. In the background, she heard another man. And then the screen focused and for the first time, Lena saw the woman whom she had only ever hated in still pictures now moving and vibrant, alive if looking ill. The moment the woman spoke, and Lena heard Chloe Sullivan's voice, she felt goosebumps race across her skin.

~~

Chloe spun around and around with her son in her arms, dancing to the disco music as she sung distorted lyrics to Christian, who had just turned four. The little boy was laughing his socks off as he threw his head back while his mom danced around the large room. The boy screamed in joy, calling his father to join in the fun.

"Are you getting this, Clark?" she yelled happily as she balanced her precocious son, who insisted on doing gymnastics in her embrace.

"Sure, Chloe. Here, Christian, smile at Uncle Clark."

The boy gave him a toothy grin. Chloe laughed above the music. "Lex, look at him. Our son is going to be an astronaut!" She lifted the boy up and made a sound of a rocketship launching. Christian lifted his arms in the air and pretended to float in outer space.

Lex walked over to them and stole a quick kiss from Chloe's lips. He lifted the baby from Chloe's arms. "Christian is getting too heavy for you, Chloe." The boy stuck out his lower lip in disappointment at being snatched from space. Lex suddenly lifted him higher than his mommy ever did and Christian squealed. "Now he's in another galaxy!" Lex burst.

Chloe pretended to shade her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling just a few inches from where her son was chuckling. "Oh no, Lex. Where did my baby fly off to? Christian!" she called. "Christian, mommy's going to be so sad. You left mommy!"

Christian stayed quiet for only one second before saying, "Am here, mommy!" The boy moved his arms to her and Chloe received her baby gratefully from Lex. "Won't leave mommy," he told Lex.

"Oh!" Chloe grinned at Lex in satisfaction. She pressed her cheek to her son's. "See, Lex, that is called love," she informed him smugly. "My little baby loves me. Don't you, baby?"

"I'm four, mommy."

"Oh of course! What was I thinking? My Christian is not a baby anymore."

Clark looked up at Chloe from behind the camera. "Maybe if you blew the candles on the cake already, you won't forget, Chlo."

"That's a good idea!" Christian clapped his hands as Chloe lugged him to the cake. "Where are the candles, Lex?"

Christian looked up expectantly at his father. "They're right in the small bag that came with the cake," he told her. "Clark?"

Clark frowned behind the camera and shook his head. "There wasn't a small bag with the cake, Lex."

"Oh, sh-" Chloe widened her eyes in warning to Lex. "Shoot," he finished lamely. "I have to go back there to get them."

"I can go, Lex," Clark offered.

"The salesgirl might not remember you. I will." Lex rushed over to Chloe and Christian. "I'll be right back. Daddy's going to get your candles, okay? Take care of mommy." Christian puffed out his chest and nodded. Lex dropped a kiss on Chloe's nose. "Be right back. It's just down on the first floor. Won't take long." Lex glanced at Clark and waved quickly. "Look after them, Clark."

While he was filming Chloe telling Christian about the eentsy weentsy spider and running her fingers in ticklish motions up her son's body, Clark's cellphone vibrated in his pocket. He looked for a place to sit the camera on and saw the counter separating the living room from the kitchen. "Hey Chloe, I'm taking a call," he informed her. Chloe waved him off while she giggled with her son.

Clark placed the camera on the counter, removing the tray of bottles and small jars seated there. "Hello." Christian squealed right behind him and Clark walked to the kitchen. "Lois! What's wrong?" He looked around for a spot to put the tray. The table was heaped with presents that Lex and Chloe had wrapped for their son. Clark walked over to the cupboard and slid the tray far into one shelf. "What? All right. I'll be there."

Clark slipped the phone back into his pocket and went to the living room. "Chloe, I have to go."

Her brows furrowed in concern. "Is anything wrong?"

"Lois ran into some trouble again," he informed her with a lopsided smile. "What is it with me and overzealous reporter girls?"

"You can't resist us," she told him with sparkling eyes. "Go and be a hero." In the blink of an eye, Clark was gone. Chloe looked at the boy sitting on her lap and grinned brightly. "It's just you and me now, kiddo."

"Rocket ship, mommy! I wanna be an astonot," Christian pronounced.

"An astronaut, huh?" Chloe stood up and raised her son up in the air. She whirled around and around, laughing when Christian squealed and spread out his arms like a bird. "I think you just want to be Superman!"

~~

Lena was held in place, sitting on the couch as she watched Chloe Sullivan dance and whirl in the living room, seen through the camera that Clark Kent had left on the counter. It was amazing to see her father as such a little boy. Christian Luthor had always been a stiff and proper man, a deep thinker who loved solitude more than anything else. Lena's lips curved briefly at the knowledge that like all little boys, the businessman who had always been so successful on earth had dreamed to fly in space.

She saw Chloe place the boy on the coffeetable and take deep breaths, all the while smiling in reassurance at her son.

"Daddy was right. Mommy shouldn't do that too much." Chloe leaned down to smooth the boy's forehead. "You look so much like Lex it's scary. You never even got anything from me, did you, Christian?"

"Are you okay, mommy? Daddy says I gotta take care of you."

"I'm dizzy," Chloe told the boy honestly. "It's just time for mommy's medicine. Stay here while I go get it from where daddy always leaves them, okay?"

Lena saw Chloe move so close to the camera that all there was on screen was the material of her blouse. "It's not here," Lena heard the soft whisper- for the first time, with a trace of fear.

She heard rather than saw when Chloe Sullivan stumbled on her feet. The woman vanished from the screen when she supposed that Chloe searched in the kitchen.

Lena saw Christian staring at a point right above the screen, so she knew that Chloe was standing right behind the camera. "Did you find them, mommy? Can you make yourself better?"

Chloe reappeared onscreen when she helped Christian off the coffeetable. "We'll wait for daddy because daddy always knows." Lena could see the whitening of the woman's skin as she gripped the edge of the coffeetable.

"Mommy, you look sick," the boy said.

"Mommy's fine, baby. See if daddy's here yet." The boy started running to the door. Chloe fell down and disappeared from the screen.

Lena braced herself for the rest because she knew now why Ted chose this tape. She could not see anything now. Clark had left the camera on too high a spot. She only assumed that Chloe Sullivan lay on the carpet. Lena could hear the boy screaming and crying.

"Mommy!!!"

And the boy, her father, screamed for the longest five minutes she had ever experienced before the door opened. Again, Lena saw Christian as the boy stood up and ran to his father. She saw Lex Luthor blanch at the sight that only he and his son saw. The bag of candles and the brown stuffed teddy bear he clutched tumbled to the floor. He broke into a run.

His son's piercing scream rent the air. "You lost mommy's medicine!"

And finally, Lena heard another voice other than her own father's screaming and crying. "Chloe," Lex said quietly, frantically, "don't do this today. Don't ever do this!"

Pause.

"You agreed you wouldn't do this!"

"Daddy?"

It was only Lex Luthor's face that she could see. It was an expression she would rather not have seen.

tbc