Roads Not Taken - Not A Good Guy


Author's Note (Dec 2003)
This story has been revised by merging the original Introduction below with the actual chapter 1. This has been done only to place this story in compliance with fanfiction.net's stated policies, not because I actually think they belong together. Except for the addition of this note, it is otherwise unchanged. I apologize to every author with original content whose story is getting bumped a spot down the queue because I am making this fix.


Roads Not Taken

Author's Intro

First thing you need to know: What follows is both a three chapter fic and three separate stories. Chapter 1 diverges from series canon at point A. Chapter 2 diverges from series canon at a later point, which I will call, surprisingly enough, point B. The events of chapter 2 do not actually follow from chapter 1, because the divergence point is later on. So they're three stories. But there's a common element - they're really three different takes on the same idea - so it's really one story.

Second, chapter three of this contains a small part that might potentially offend the religious sensibilities of some Christians. Don't say you weren't warned.

Third, if you think the Scoobies, either individually or as a group, are infallible icons of virtue, stop reading here. Reading further, either the rest of this intro, or the story itself, is just going to annoy you. I throw a spotlight on a lot of what I consider their canonical mistakes in this story.

Fourth, another gentle warning: The original working title for this little piece of prose was "Rantfic", and I'd say it still fits the description of "venting with a little bit of creativity".

Now, some background.

This was conceived while I was thinking about how incredibly awful the episode "The Killer in Me" (with, among other things, its frankly insulting retcon of Spike's time as an Initiative captive) was.

It started me thinking, in turn, about that BLEEPing chip - never a good idea, because I invariably realize what a stupid (or at the very least, abysmally executed) idea it was.

My own impression was the chip was brought in to give the Scoobies a reason not to kill their one-time nemesis. This was so Spike could be added to the regular cast without the show devolving to the tired cliché of two adversaries constantly trying to kill each other and neither one ever managing to quite succeed.

Kudos to Mutant Enemy for realizing THAT was a pitfall to be avoided, at least. But couldn't they have come up with something better?

I'm not a fan of Spike's - but that's not so much because I dislike the character (as an actual villain, at least) as because I bitterly resent the way forcing him into the ensemble required damaging the characters who had been there all along.

I can accept that good writing can believably show the conversion of a saint to a psychopath or vice versa - given time and reason. But that's not what happened here.

Suddenly, because of the chip, no transgression of Spike's was unforgivable.

The problem is that wasn't a good enough reason - or wouldn't have been for the high school era Scooby gang. They had their moments of idiocy then, but also displayed signs of wit and intelligence on a reasonably consistent basis. But apparently once the took care of Mayor Demonsnake, they all got lobotomies as graduation presents.

So I got to thinking, "What if, at certain points in the series, their original high-school IQ's reasserted themselves, however temporarily?"

This story is the result.

-WyseQuack




Roads Not Taken

Chapter 1: "Not a Good Guy"

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. Once you read this, you'll see I have serious doubts whether I'd even want the canon ones anyhow.

Timeframe: During "Doomed"

"Do I know you?" Riley asked Spike.

"No, sir," Spike responded quietly, making an effort to disguise both his voice and his accent. "I'm just an old pal of Xander's here."

"He's the vampire you commando boys captured and then lost again a little before Thanksgiving," Xander contradicted.

"Xander!" Willow squealed in objection.

"What? You're not the one stuck cleaning up after his mess," Xander responded.

"He helped us. We owe him," came Willow's reply.

"Yeah, we do," Xander agreed. "By my scorecard, we still owe him for repeated attempts to kill us. Buff, can I borrow a stake or do you want to do the honors?"

"Actually, I think I would," Buffy agreed, with just a little bit of relish.

"Wasn't there a reason we weren't killing Spike?" protested Willow.

"Because he knew more than we did about the mysterious commandoes prowling around town. Emphasis knew - as in past tense," explained Buffy.

"So we can give him a long overdue dusting - or let Riley's buddies play lab rat with him some more. Either way sounds good to me," added Xander.

"Where is Spike?" Buffy asked, finally having realized the vampire had up and disappeared during their discussion.

"Riley, did you see which way he went?" Buffy asked the commando.

Riley's eyes had become more and more boggled as he'd listened to the conversation, and in response to Buffy's question he finally burst out laughing.

"Riley?" Buffy asked concerned.

Riley waved her off and paused to regain his breath. "Your friends really had me going for a bit there," he started to explain. After another pause he continued, "They obviously know about the . . . nightlife around town. And about our escaped prisoner. Maybe they even know about the behaviour modification chip. But they can't know anything about the details - power source, side effects, life expectancy. So they'd have to be absolute idiots to let him wander around loose, especially if he's already tried to kill them before. And the fact they're still breathing, knowing what they know, is pretty convincing proof that they're not idiots."

"Yeah . . . right," Buffy agreed, in a voice that carried about as much conviction as the one Riley had used for the paintball story.

The commando, however, was so certain of his interpretation of tonight's events, he didn't notice Buffy's expression.

"Look," Riley added, "I really do have to get back to . . . paintball. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Buffy. You too, Willow. Nice meeting you, Xander."

"Tomorrow," Buffy replied as Riley made his departure.

"Xander, how could you?" Willow asked when Riley was out of earshot.

"That's funny, Wills. I'm wondering the same thing about you."

"What?" Willow echoed in confusion.

"Spike would have killed you if Riley's lab coat buddies hadn't put that chip in his head. And that's only the most recent time he's tried."

"But he helped us," Willow started to object.

"Xander, are you sure this is the time?" Buffy remonstrated gently.

"No. It probably should have been long before now."

"Why are you doing this?" Willow asked Xander defensively.

"Because I'm worried about you. I don't understand why you're acting like the president of Spike's fan club."

"I'm not! I just haven't forgotten the times he's helped us, too!"

"Neither have I," came Xander's reply. "I just haven't forgotten why he's helped us."

"What are you talking about?" Willow asked, disconcerted.

"Spike is all about looking out for number one. Not that he's much different from any vampire in that respect. The problem is Spike is a hell of a lot smarter than most vampires in how he goes about it.

"He's one of the rare breed of vampire who actually understands the drawbacks of blowing up the bridge you're standing on," Xander continued after a brief pause, "which is why he helped us out against Angel. -Us," Xander belatedly tacked on the last syllable in deference to Buffy's sensibilities.

"So why did he come to us about the commandoes? What was in it for Spike?" Willow asked.

"I'm not sure," Xander admitted. "But one possibilty that comes to mind is an old diplomatic tactic called 'Let's you and him fight'."

Buffy had been largely quiet to this point, but spoke up now and asked a question for clarification.

"Get the Slayer and the soldiers preoccupied with each other instead of the things they're supposed to be fighting?"

"Wouldn't put it past him," came Xander's reply.

"Neither would I, now that I think about it," Buffy agreed. "Giving him more time to get that chip out, or at least de-activated. Riley was right about one thing. We were idiots to ever let him loose. I should go hunt him down before he causes us more trouble. Will you two be okay to get home on your own?"

"We'll be fine, Buff. Go find Bleach Boy."

Before she departed, Buffy asked "Xander?"

"Yes?"

"No offense, but how is it you figured out Spike's plan before anybody else? Assuming you're right, of course."

"Simple, Buff. I might not be a Slayer, a Watcher or a Witch. What I am is somebody who doesn't trust vampires an inch. Any vampire. Ever. It might be called galloping paranoia . . ."

"Except they really are trying to kill you," Buffy finished.

"Exactly," Xander agreed.

Buffy left, and Xander and Willow walked along in comfortable silence for a few moments.

"Was I really that bad?" Willow asked eventually, breaking the silence.

"You were scaring me, Will. It almost looked like you were thinking Spike was our friend. And I know you're too smart to be that stupid."

"Getting close to salt-in-the-wound territory there," Willow warned him.

"I just don't get it, Will. Okay, I know Oz taking off the way he did was rough on you. Was it that? Or more residual guilt over the will-be-done spell? Do you need to bake some more cookies or something? Was it something else? Have you hit a wall on the de-rat Amy research?"

"I don't think it was any of those. But I have to admit I'm not getting anywhere on helping Amy."

Xander froze suddenly. A few steps later Willow stopped also, and turned to look back at him.

"Dear God in Heaven. Please tell me you weren't starting to fall for him!" Xander said, pleadingly.

"What? Spike!? NO !!" came Willow's shocked response.

"Oh, thank heaven. Buffy and Angel was bad enough, but the thought of Spike and anything with a pulse makes me queasy, much less him with one of my best friends."

"Well, how do you think your seeing somebody who used to be a demon makes Buffy and me feel?" Willow replied in a voice that was almost a hiss.

"Okay, I had that coming," Xander admitted after a pause. "But whatever Anya was in the past, she's human now. If I can help her adjust enough that she stops wanting to go back to handing out vengeance wishes to unsuspecting customers, is that such a bad thing? Hell, if Spike develops a pulse and starts going out in the sun - without using any freaky mystic gems - I'll think about giving him a chance, too. But until then, no way."

They resumed their interrupted walk, proceeding in silence for a time. It was finally broken by Willow.

"How could you even THINK I'd feel even a little bit that way about Spike?"

"Well, we know Spike's not half bad with the mind games. And you've been awfully protective of him tonight."

"Not THAT protective," Willow objected.

"Yeah, Will, you have," Xander gently disagreed. "Enough to make me wonder, at least."

"It wasn't about Spike. It just seemed so callous, the way you were cheering him on and encouraging him to kill himself."

"Where vampires are concerned, I'm totally callous."

"You make that sound like a good thing," Willow replied in a troubled voice.

"As far as I'm concerned, it is," Xander told her.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Will, stop." She did. "Look at me. Do you think I'm a good guy?" Xander asked.

"Of course," Willow responded automatically.

"Don't. I'm not."

"You're saying you're a bad guy?" Willow asked, skepticism apparent in her voice.

"A good guy is somebody who, when somebody who just tried to kill him winds up dangling over the edge of a cliff will reach out his hand and pull the bad guy up. The good guy is then usually surprised when the bad guy goes right back to trying to kill him."

"What are you trying to say?" Willow asked.

"Will, the second Spike gets that chip out he'll happily snap your neck and drain you dry. On some level you have to know that. But it doesn't show in the way you're acting."

"How am I acting?"

"Like a good guy," Xander told her.

"And that's a bad thing?" Willow asked, somewhat puzzled.

"Good guys get people killed. Needlessly."

"What are you talking about?"

"If somebody who tries to push me off a cliff winds up hanging on by their fingernails instead, the last thing _I'm_ going to is pull them up. I'll stomp their fingers, or better yet, find a nice, stout tree branch and mash their fingers with that - less chance of them taking me with them."

Willow stared at Xander wordlessly, her mouth slightly open.

"I'm not a good guy, Will. I don't believe in giving people - or things - who are trying to kill me and my friends second, third and fourth chances to get it right. This is reality, not some kids show where nobody ever gets hurt, much less killed. And here being a good guy means taking stupid chances."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because somebody needs to. We've done a lot of good the past few years, helping Buffy out. But we've paid a price, too - Jesse, Ms. Calendar - and that just scratches the surface. And I doubt we're done paying it, yet. But I don't see any reason to pay any more than we have to.

"Now, don't get me wrong, Will," Xander continued, "your ability to see the good in people is one of the things I admire about you. But if you can't start turning it off where vampires are concerned - leave town. Transfer to Harvard, or MIT or Oxford - anywhere far away from the Hellmouth. Before you get yourself, and probably some other good people, killed."

Willow stared at him, open-mouthed. She felt her eyes starting to tear up. "How can you be so cruel?" she asked softly.

"Because I don't want to stand over your damned grave going, 'Well, she's dead, but at least I spared her feelings'. You're too damn important to me, Will."

Willow sniffled. "How can you be so sweet and such a total jerk at the same time?" she asked.

"It's a gift," Xander shot back.

"I went to school atop the Hellmouth for three years, and lived to tell about it, Mr. Not-A-Good-Guy. Why am I suddenly a danger to friends and innocent bystanders?"

"Because you're buying in to Spike's act."

"I am not! And what act are you talking about?"

"The little tricks he pulls to make you - and me - and everyone start to view him as a person, not the undead killing machine he is. Like if he'd still been here before when I said how he'd gladly snap your neck the second the chip was out, he'd probably have agreed with me. I mean, if he tried denying it, none of us would have bought it, even considering how stupid we've been acting lately. But if he admits it, some self-destructive corner of our brain gives him credit for honesty, and we start to see him as just a tiny bit less dangerous."

"So we lower our guard around him bit by bit, and then . . ."

"He figures out how to get around the chip and rips all our throats out," Xander finished.

"Cunning," Willow commented, raising an eyebrow.

"Exactly," said Xander.

They walked in silence for a time, until Xander spoke up.

"So, Buffy's new boyfriend is actually one of the secret commando guys. What do you think of that?"

"Not sure," Willow admitted. "What do you think about it?"

"Actually, given our track records," Xander confessed, "I'm kicking myself that I didn't see that one coming."