Author's Note: Due our employment status we're finding it hard to get together and write so this is only short. There will be more honest, when we think of it. Thanks for reviewing go to:

Trinity Day; Sorry about the rubbish formatting, I shouldn't upload late at night when I get sleep. And yes Rupert is from Buffy. So is his "friend". Disclaimer. See chapter one. The only payment we get is in reviews and the warm tinglely feeling they give us.

Feb 7th.

Father answered owl about why the word is hen-pecked. Is obviously as confused as me, long rambling letter about the facts of life and how "only Mummies and Daddies can make babies", (Yeah. Right. That's how Orion got his girlfriend up the duff. Wonder how they are. Married yet?) and how "you are far too young to worry about things like that" and how "it's against school rules to be caught in flagrante delicto". Don't intend to be caught and am not sexually active. Although it's not for lack of trying and never ever want to be caught. Decide to ask Moony, Row, Rupert, Rup's weird friend from Ravenclaw, Ophelia, Mundungus Fletcher and, in fit of desperation, Wormtail. They don't know either. Don't dare ask Prongs, like face too much the way it is and it would be sinful to deny my good looks to the rest of the World, or Lily as would have to explain why I want to know. Also got letter from Orion, founding member of the Hen-pecked brigade; do I mind not being best man at the wedding (That'll be a "no" to earlier question then) and does Row want to come? Wonder if I can persuade her not to as family all insane and Gran asks odd questions about really strange things. Love Gran, really. And why would I want to be Orion's best man? Ok, he's my elder brother but have spent good part of last seventeen years putting stuff in his bed, food, hair, pockets, etc. and once he transfigured me into a cushion. Anyway, Mum'd never let me go to stag party. They have alcohol there. Want to go to the Stag Party. Why stag party? Wonder if should ask Father . . .



Feb 8th. Row coming to wedding; Orion wrote and invited her because "Sirius can't be trusted to ask you". James and Lily coming too so shouldn't be too bad. Got parcel from Grandfather Black. Big surprise as Mum said he died when I was seven. Turns out the old coot was living it up with some floozy (his words not mine, mine would be ruder) in Malaysia. Now have many articles of silk underwear which don't fit. Am no longer seven Grandfather. Also some dried herby things poss. potions ingredients.

Great Hall. Night. Not potions ingredients. Read labels and checked in library. Or rather Moony did because Prongs and I decided to feed them to Wormtail to see what happened. This is good, now know the whiny little sod won't die. Is NOT my fault that he is floating at ceiling height and we can't get him down. We can't reach. Will poss. curb his hunger. Ooh! Voices! Only Lil and Row on prefect duty. Lily uses charm to bring Peter down, but the second she stops using it he springs back up. Rowan is no help, far to busy laughing. Suggest waiting for herbs to wear off. Will be long night. So run away quickly and leave our esteemed Head Boy in charge. Is his duty to be responsible. Still don't know why the phrase is "hen-pecked".

Feb 9th. Bed. Morning. Am going to die. Woke up this morning and pyjamas, hair and skin are PINK. Not normal skin-tone pink or even blushing/flushed pink but that really foul shade that little girls really like. Magenta? Cerise? Oh, I don't know. Notice James Potter isn't here. I will be revenged. Rupert took one look and said "Bloody hell! Barbie pink! Is there something you aren't telling us?" Will be revenged on him too. And add him to list; ยท Note to self: make following people pay:

Snape

Parkinson

Slytherin's in general

Filch

Prongs and Wormtail.

T. M. Riddle.

Rupert

Grandfather Black, am certain this is his fault. Remus won't stop laughing now. Curse Remus. Remus now leopard print all over. Try counter curse, am still Pink. Peter tries counter curse is now pink too. Remus uses counter curse and returns to normal. Tries on me and Wormtail. Am still pink. Not going anywhere like this.

Bed. Lunchtime. Hospital Wing. MacGonagall made me come. Not happy didn't go to Transfiguration in first lesson. One look at self and made me come to hospital wing. Don't understand why she and Pomfrey don't believe me when say have no idea how got this way. James says he doesn't know either. Liar. Still pink. Think will be pink for ever. No! Pink definitely not my colour. On happier note Row assures me she still loves me even though am pink. . Comforts me by saying "Don't worry I'm sure Dumbledore'll know how to get you back to normal. He did when I cursed you with that one that made you bald." This is not strictly true, as am unable to ever grow big Dumbledore beard.

Night. Dormitory. Am no longer pink! Dumbledore took one look and asked if I'd tried washing. No, was to busy panicking. Counter curses weren't working because Prongs had used dye. Will be sorry tomorrow; borrowed stuff called "itching powder" from Ethan in Ravenclaw and put it in all James's underwear. Also filled shoes with the stuff from Grandfather which smells like something dead.

Feb 10th. Common Room. 2am. Was mistake to put stinky stuff in shoes. Now whole dorm smells to quote Rup "Like a charnel house"; Moony explains to Wormtail this means a place where loads of dead bodies are left to rot. Peter wants to know how Rup knows what a charnel house smells like. I don't; the mental images I have conjured up are disturbing enough. Now all trying to sleep in common room. Bugger! James has brought his shoes. Throw shoes out of window, receive round of applause as smell gone.

Common Room. 7:30am. Lend Prongs shoes as his out window. He can't understand why he's so itchy. Tell Peter James has fleas, will spend rest of day running from James.

Feb 11th. Top of Astronomy Tower. Night. Late. Am in hiding. Prongs not impressed after having to have a talk with Madame Pomfrey about personal hygiene. Hagrid found shoes and bought them into Great Hall. Wouldn't have known whose shoes they were if not for Moony. Last year he got sick of me and Jamie-boy fighting over things and put name tags on all our stuff; so the shoes, which if possible stank worse than ever, were identified at dinner last night. Lots of people sick. One Slytherin first year sick on Snape, ha-ha-ha! Teachers decide this means James has issues with bathing. Things not helped by Wormtail shouting "James has fleas too!" Or the mud on his head from Quidditch practice. Row hiding up tower with me too. Whole of Gryffindor Tower smells as shoes, while not as bad as before, still stinky. Also Row threw the mud at James. Combined body heat means we're not cold even though it's about minus ten out here. Also combined body weight against door means James can't get out here and kill us. To his credit (?) he is trying V.HARD to. And as is private and we're alone.......

Feb 12th. Still haven't got lucky. Prob. a good thing though. It was very cold last night and don't want bits to freeze off. Would be no point in having sex if could never have it again. Love Rowan v. much. Also love Lily as she has talked James out of psychotic need to kill me. Prongs is now trying to kill Wormtail as he has no girlfriend to persuade Lily to persuade James not to. Am sure that sentence made more sense in head than on paper. Oh well. Went to Hogsmeade today. Am banned by Dumbledore but have been going via hidden passages for so long, i.e. since first year, seemed wrong somehow not to. Spent time hiding in Zonko's, the Shrieking Shack, etc. from girls because they would have seen it as wrong to sneak to village. Think this is slightly two-faced of them because they come with us on school nights sometimes. Rowan swears that the fact we spend these times snogging discreetly and drinking in the Hogshead has nothing to do with her headaches the next day. Well she says that she has headaches, personally I think she's hungover but will never tell her so as like head, limbs, genitals etc. where they are. Also like having girlfriend as then don't have to practice kissing with pillow/ teddy bear like Peter. Would think that 17 - 18 year old boy would be ashamed of having teddy bear on bed, but not Wormtail. Poss. hide teddy? Might be funny.

Late. Under Peter's Bed. (Don't Ask) Help. Am stuck. Teddy-bear hidden. Can't breathe. Dying........

Own Bed. Feel especially fond of Remus who has saved me! Think might have been a little too demonstrative of great affection and gratitude as Moony was looking at me oddly and is now pretending to sleep so does have to talk to me. Can't sleep as trying to figure out what was wrong with Wolf-boy has given me scarrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyy mental images.

Feb 13th. Is Valentine's tomorrow. Am so proud as have got Row's present sorted. Got lovely girlfriend chocolate, the new book she wanted and perfume. Is scarily grown up of self to be this organised. Usually forget 'til now and then run round in panic in manner of man trapped in broom cupboard with Hairy MacBoons. Is fun watching various other house members in lower years run instead. But not as much fun as watching them panic tomorrow when they remember. Am sitting quietly and doing Charms homework. This has convinced Remus that am not the real Sirius Black because: a) the real Sirius is physically incapable of sitting quietly for more than 10 minutes. b) Sirius never remembers Valentine's in advance, though he is good with anniversaries, birthdays and other such things and c) inevitably Sirius does his homework at 4am the morning it's due with much swearing. He and Rup told me this while Jamie and Petey went to Hogsmeade to pick up Lily's present. Smiled politely at them and went back to work. Are really scared now. Are trying to disenchant me to find out who I really am.

Feb 14th. Knew Sorting hat made mistake with Rupert's friend in Ravenclaw. As well as Demons being "cool" he thinks chaos is "fun". Would normally agree, but was horrible today. Somehow he managed to curse? enchant? whole of Ravenclaw to act upon their most hidden desires for people. Spent day being chased and propositioned by randy Ravenclaws. Would be flattering except none took "No!" as answer even when it was "No! Gerrrroff! Never!" And also some were male. Peter and self v.disturbed by the two first years chasing Snape around. James is still hiding from his admirers except he's calling it Quidditch practice. Is out there alone and has been for four hours. Is rainy and cold. Not even Lily, Row, rest of team, any vaguely sane person or self going out in this weather. Also wanted to snuggle with Row in front of warm fire. Got v.lovely friendship ring for Valentine's. Row v.grateful for presents. Went and got snuggly in private on top of Astronomy Tower. Is v.v.v.private up there. Prob. because v.v.v.cold. Got v.wet so went to Quidditch changing rooms for warm, dry private snuggles. James not v.impressed, but not as unimpressed as Lily is with him. Also changing rooms are not part of main castle so Peeves can't get in there. This is good as don't have to listen to his incessant chatter and he can't tell Filch.