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TITLESummary: "I just want everything back to normal, but how can that be when everything has been turned upside down and shaken around/TITLE
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FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE=2PSummary: "I just want everything back to normal, but how can that be when everything has been turned upside down and shaken around?"/P
PRating: PG-13/P
PSpoilers: Up till In Praise of Women: AU basically/P
PDisclaimer: BI do not own any of the 7SUPth/SUP Heaven characters, so please don't sue me/P
/BPAuthor's Notes: IFirst off, many thanks to everyone who has reviewed this saga. It brings me pleasure when I, as a writer, see her storyline being enjoyed. I'd like to say something to the reviewer who said, "The only problem is that Ruthie's character is mature, this reaction, like talking in third person, is a typical 2-3 year old reaction." I disagree. For many reasons, of course, I won't get into them at this present moment. But, I will say this: Ruthie is around 5-6 in this particular time frame. Basically the same age in 7SUPth/SUP Heaven's world when the twins were born. And another point, little Ruthie has been through a lot, you shouldn't be surprised at a reaction like that. Anyway, this is all my own opinion. Please keep reading. And please keep reviewing./P
P/P
BPWhen Heaven Weeps: Part Ten/P
P[Annie's POV]/P
P/P
/B/IPI remember. I remember when Eric proposed, the way he smiled when he said those certain words. I remember the warmth that had flowed throughout my body at the time. I honestly didn't think I could love someone any more than I had loved him at the time./P
PI remember Matt's birth. How we dangled at the edge of life and death, and we came out on top. I remember looking at his bluish skin and thinking, "This is it." I remember going up to the Intensive Care Unit every day for hours at a time, sliding my finger through his incubator and stroking his skin, talking to him./P
PI remember Mary's car accident. How the breath of life had left me when I saw her crumpled on the ground, lifeless. I remember sitting in the ambulance rig, grasping her hand and telling her everything was going to be alright, even though I, myself didn't know the right answer./P
PI remember Lucy's trial as she dealt with her friend's death. How I held her like there was no tomorrow. The pain I had felt for those brief minutes when we thought she could've been in that same car. I remember the relief I felt when I saw her innocent face, and saw the image shatter as painful words tumbled from my mouth./P
PI remember when Simon tried out smoking and how thoughts of possible, "what if's" flooded my mind. Would I have failed as a mother? Would I be able to lead him down the straight path? Would I fulfil that role? I could only hope, and pray.P
PI remember Ruthie's "I hate you." How it broke my heart in two, even though I knew at the back of my mind, she didn't mean it. She had seemed to grown up in years and I couldn't let her go. I wanted to keep her as my angel, the perfect angel who would never hurt my feelings. Who would stay the same age forever. How I wish this could've been./P
PI remember Elizabeth's first smile at me. I only had her in my arms for a slight moment, before Eric would whisk her away, coming up with some lame excuse. But as I held her small pink body in my arms, I caressed her warm cheek, her lengthy fingers tightening around my own. I rocked her and sang her a soft lullaby, whispering it into her ear. I know I haven't been the greatest of mothers, but she knew who her mother was. That smile- that smile is reserved to the mommy, and only the mommy./P
P/P
BIP[Eric's POV]/P
/B/IPI sit on the porch swing, thinking back to the many times when Annie and I would sit out here and talk for hours. Our topics ranging everything from gun control to what was to be done about punishment for a certain child. We'd share our secrets. We had our demons. Mine would be about not being loved enough by my parents when I young. Hers would be the pain she was feeling about her beloved mom passing on./P
PWe'd sit together. Talk together. Laugh together. Cry together./P
PI find those memories slowly drifting away from me, the clarity and vivid detail ebbing away. At times, the remembrance is just a wall of blurred pictures that pass before my weary eyes. How I long for those memories to reinstate themselves, how I long to make anew different memories. How I longed for the simplicity of a life I no longer knew, let alone led./P
PI swing my legs slowly, letting the rhythm set the pace of the wooden swing. So many things had changed with each season, but this very swing, stood the same. Every creak still echoed, every twist of the chain still scratched my ears, every bump in the wood still felt rough against my bare legs. Yet, those same unchanging facts, comforted me./P
PSomething I could count on. I laugh inwardly at the nonsense of it all. Leaning on an old porch swing, how ideal. But in contrast, I had no pillar of strength anymore. Where was the Holy One in all of this? I no longer felt his presence. No longer felt afresh with a sense of courage and hope. And I couldn't even begin to tell you when all of this began./P
BIP[End Eric's POV: Start Grace's POV]/P
/B/I/FONTFONT FACE="Arial"PREMy job with the Camden's is to assess their whole as a family. My job is to come to a conclusion on where things sit with this particular diagram. My job is to dissect their thoughts and turn those thoughts into a case study. My job is to determine whether or not these children are growing up in a healthy stable home. My job is to guarantee that these children will be provided for./PRE
/FONTFONT FACE="Arial" SIZE=2PAnd while I'm at it, I might as well have fun with it./P
PEric Camden is a classic case of a worn down, over burdened, insomnia ridden male person who is having to care for five children living at home, worrying about anything and everything, and literally, keep the household in one piece./P
PAdmiration is an understatement for this man. I take pity on him for the work load he encounters everyday. It's this endless cycle that gnaws at him daily and never lets up. Not to mention his other work in the God business. Several church deacons and congregation also felt sorry for their minister and took it upon themselves to see to it that the church remained standing./P
PEric gladly, yet reluctantly let go of his duties and gave Lou the go ahead to make sure things were kept running smoothly. Since then, a strand of light dimmed in the eyes of Eric Camden. Part of him died when he gave up his precious work. It was the only thing that was keeping him sane at the time./P
PMatt, the eldest took up the firstborn responsibility and went out to find a job to help curve off some of the bills that had begun to mount. Obtaining a decent paycheck every month, he diligently sent the entire check to his father. Matt remained partially separated from his family, staying with a friend until things either got better, or took a turn for the worst./P
PEric hated accepting money from his son. Every man has the mind set of that he should be able to provide for his family, Eric was no different. At the beginning, he set the paycheck money aside, putting it away without touching it, knowing at the back of his mind he could take care of his people./P
PBut things changed and so did Eric's opinion. He set about finding odd jobs for himself, scraping the bottom of the bucket as he called it./P
PThe shrill ring of the phone jars me from my thoughts and push myself off the couch and answer it. After speaking to the other person for a brief few minutes, we say our goodbyes and I set the phone down into the handset and struggle not to grin./P
PAnnie Camden now refused to get out of bed. Her sanity was teetering between life and death. A war was raging inside of her, and it seemed she was failing miserably. Eric had quickly filled me in and I immediately suggested he leave the younger children with a neighbor and we would have a meeting. I told him I would call my boss and the three of us would meet for coffee and decide on a certain action./P
PEric's If we must. Was out of desperation, he had nothing left within him. And this was the perfect way to calm his troubled spirit. Eric didn't have to know that I had no boss, Eric didn't have to know there would be no meeting, Eric didn't have to know that this certain action would be something way beyond his comprehensive thoughts./P
PWhat he doesn't know, won't hurt him./P
P/P
BIPTo be continued................................................./P/B/I/FONT /BODY
/HTML
HEAD
META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=windows-1252"
META NAME="Generator" CONTENT="Microsoft Word 97"
TITLESummary: "I just want everything back to normal, but how can that be when everything has been turned upside down and shaken around/TITLE
/HEAD
BODY LINK="#0000ff" VLINK="#800080"
FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE=2PSummary: "I just want everything back to normal, but how can that be when everything has been turned upside down and shaken around?"/P
PRating: PG-13/P
PSpoilers: Up till In Praise of Women: AU basically/P
PDisclaimer: BI do not own any of the 7SUPth/SUP Heaven characters, so please don't sue me/P
/BPAuthor's Notes: IFirst off, many thanks to everyone who has reviewed this saga. It brings me pleasure when I, as a writer, see her storyline being enjoyed. I'd like to say something to the reviewer who said, "The only problem is that Ruthie's character is mature, this reaction, like talking in third person, is a typical 2-3 year old reaction." I disagree. For many reasons, of course, I won't get into them at this present moment. But, I will say this: Ruthie is around 5-6 in this particular time frame. Basically the same age in 7SUPth/SUP Heaven's world when the twins were born. And another point, little Ruthie has been through a lot, you shouldn't be surprised at a reaction like that. Anyway, this is all my own opinion. Please keep reading. And please keep reviewing./P
P/P
BPWhen Heaven Weeps: Part Ten/P
P[Annie's POV]/P
P/P
/B/IPI remember. I remember when Eric proposed, the way he smiled when he said those certain words. I remember the warmth that had flowed throughout my body at the time. I honestly didn't think I could love someone any more than I had loved him at the time./P
PI remember Matt's birth. How we dangled at the edge of life and death, and we came out on top. I remember looking at his bluish skin and thinking, "This is it." I remember going up to the Intensive Care Unit every day for hours at a time, sliding my finger through his incubator and stroking his skin, talking to him./P
PI remember Mary's car accident. How the breath of life had left me when I saw her crumpled on the ground, lifeless. I remember sitting in the ambulance rig, grasping her hand and telling her everything was going to be alright, even though I, myself didn't know the right answer./P
PI remember Lucy's trial as she dealt with her friend's death. How I held her like there was no tomorrow. The pain I had felt for those brief minutes when we thought she could've been in that same car. I remember the relief I felt when I saw her innocent face, and saw the image shatter as painful words tumbled from my mouth./P
PI remember when Simon tried out smoking and how thoughts of possible, "what if's" flooded my mind. Would I have failed as a mother? Would I be able to lead him down the straight path? Would I fulfil that role? I could only hope, and pray.P
PI remember Ruthie's "I hate you." How it broke my heart in two, even though I knew at the back of my mind, she didn't mean it. She had seemed to grown up in years and I couldn't let her go. I wanted to keep her as my angel, the perfect angel who would never hurt my feelings. Who would stay the same age forever. How I wish this could've been./P
PI remember Elizabeth's first smile at me. I only had her in my arms for a slight moment, before Eric would whisk her away, coming up with some lame excuse. But as I held her small pink body in my arms, I caressed her warm cheek, her lengthy fingers tightening around my own. I rocked her and sang her a soft lullaby, whispering it into her ear. I know I haven't been the greatest of mothers, but she knew who her mother was. That smile- that smile is reserved to the mommy, and only the mommy./P
P/P
BIP[Eric's POV]/P
/B/IPI sit on the porch swing, thinking back to the many times when Annie and I would sit out here and talk for hours. Our topics ranging everything from gun control to what was to be done about punishment for a certain child. We'd share our secrets. We had our demons. Mine would be about not being loved enough by my parents when I young. Hers would be the pain she was feeling about her beloved mom passing on./P
PWe'd sit together. Talk together. Laugh together. Cry together./P
PI find those memories slowly drifting away from me, the clarity and vivid detail ebbing away. At times, the remembrance is just a wall of blurred pictures that pass before my weary eyes. How I long for those memories to reinstate themselves, how I long to make anew different memories. How I longed for the simplicity of a life I no longer knew, let alone led./P
PI swing my legs slowly, letting the rhythm set the pace of the wooden swing. So many things had changed with each season, but this very swing, stood the same. Every creak still echoed, every twist of the chain still scratched my ears, every bump in the wood still felt rough against my bare legs. Yet, those same unchanging facts, comforted me./P
PSomething I could count on. I laugh inwardly at the nonsense of it all. Leaning on an old porch swing, how ideal. But in contrast, I had no pillar of strength anymore. Where was the Holy One in all of this? I no longer felt his presence. No longer felt afresh with a sense of courage and hope. And I couldn't even begin to tell you when all of this began./P
BIP[End Eric's POV: Start Grace's POV]/P
/B/I/FONTFONT FACE="Arial"PREMy job with the Camden's is to assess their whole as a family. My job is to come to a conclusion on where things sit with this particular diagram. My job is to dissect their thoughts and turn those thoughts into a case study. My job is to determine whether or not these children are growing up in a healthy stable home. My job is to guarantee that these children will be provided for./PRE
/FONTFONT FACE="Arial" SIZE=2PAnd while I'm at it, I might as well have fun with it./P
PEric Camden is a classic case of a worn down, over burdened, insomnia ridden male person who is having to care for five children living at home, worrying about anything and everything, and literally, keep the household in one piece./P
PAdmiration is an understatement for this man. I take pity on him for the work load he encounters everyday. It's this endless cycle that gnaws at him daily and never lets up. Not to mention his other work in the God business. Several church deacons and congregation also felt sorry for their minister and took it upon themselves to see to it that the church remained standing./P
PEric gladly, yet reluctantly let go of his duties and gave Lou the go ahead to make sure things were kept running smoothly. Since then, a strand of light dimmed in the eyes of Eric Camden. Part of him died when he gave up his precious work. It was the only thing that was keeping him sane at the time./P
PMatt, the eldest took up the firstborn responsibility and went out to find a job to help curve off some of the bills that had begun to mount. Obtaining a decent paycheck every month, he diligently sent the entire check to his father. Matt remained partially separated from his family, staying with a friend until things either got better, or took a turn for the worst./P
PEric hated accepting money from his son. Every man has the mind set of that he should be able to provide for his family, Eric was no different. At the beginning, he set the paycheck money aside, putting it away without touching it, knowing at the back of his mind he could take care of his people./P
PBut things changed and so did Eric's opinion. He set about finding odd jobs for himself, scraping the bottom of the bucket as he called it./P
PThe shrill ring of the phone jars me from my thoughts and push myself off the couch and answer it. After speaking to the other person for a brief few minutes, we say our goodbyes and I set the phone down into the handset and struggle not to grin./P
PAnnie Camden now refused to get out of bed. Her sanity was teetering between life and death. A war was raging inside of her, and it seemed she was failing miserably. Eric had quickly filled me in and I immediately suggested he leave the younger children with a neighbor and we would have a meeting. I told him I would call my boss and the three of us would meet for coffee and decide on a certain action./P
PEric's If we must. Was out of desperation, he had nothing left within him. And this was the perfect way to calm his troubled spirit. Eric didn't have to know that I had no boss, Eric didn't have to know there would be no meeting, Eric didn't have to know that this certain action would be something way beyond his comprehensive thoughts./P
PWhat he doesn't know, won't hurt him./P
P/P
BIPTo be continued................................................./P/B/I/FONT /BODY
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