Author's Note: While this note attempts not to spoil Order of the Phoenix for anyone who hasn't read it, I have to admit that now my story is so far removed from cannon that I don't really want to continue it and anyway I ran out of ideas. So here is the last entry.

Thank-you to everyone for the kind reviews.

April 4th.

Morning.

Am now convinced Rowan and self are somewhere between one and all of the following:

back together engaged stupid insane addicted to each other having a baby.

Have fulfilled another New Years Resolution! Yay! Had sex in school with Rowan. Last night. Was magic. The earth moved. Now, wonder how I can get laid before James when he is in scary, committed grown-up relationship and am not sure if I'm even in a relationship. Oh, well. Still got laid first.



Night.

Everyone now knows where I spend last night. And what Rowan and I were doing. Had another row with Row. This time in common room. Everyone pretended they weren't listening in, but they were. I would if other people were having that fight. It all started when I asked Rowan if we were back together.

"I didn't even realise we'd spilt up." The homicidal glint in her eyes should have warned me to drop it then. But, no this is me and quite plainly I am v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v. stupid

"But we weren't talking and you and Prism..."

"Troy and I are just friends."

"Friends? FRIENDS? Do you spend this much time with all your friends?"

"Do you think I would have had sex with you if we weren't together? Exactly what sort of girl do you think I am?"

Then we descended into senseless name-calling (possibly Rowan got an answer for her question because I'm pretty sure I called her a slut), blame appropriation and dredging up every argument we've had since we first met in the first year. That bit must be repetitive because audience got bored and drifted away. Peter assures me they could all still hear, "because you were really loud, Sirius and the whole house knows "that bit of your arguments by heart. D'you know Rupert and James run a book on when you two will make up? Can you make up in two months so I win?"

Am not prolonging this fight for two months. Mainly because sex was good and would like to do it again. Is also small matter of the fact that I love Rowan v. much. Suspect this might be the time to take Remus's advice and grovel. Will do that now before self-respect and/or self-righteous anger talk me out of it.

Later.

They talked me out of it. With help from Prongs who wanted to play tricks on people. "We can do stuff to Prism, it'll make you feel better." No, it didn't. Now have sick feeling that it just made things worse when Row finds out. Is 4am too late/early to go grovel?



April 5th.

Morning. Sometime between breakfast and lunch.

Am still in bed. Is not own bed though and am too scared to get up. Last night had weird discussion with friends about sex. The discussion ended when my mouth announced, without checking with brain, "I'm tri-sexual."

"Sirius, there are only two sexes; you can't be more than bi-sexual." Moony pointed out, edging away slightly.

"Yes, I can; I'll try anything once." Mouth was again operating independently from brain and this time all friends were scared and disgusted and they threw me out of the dorm and wouldn't let me back in.

Decided to sleep in common room. Had done it before, will probably do it again. Was just dropping off to sleep when the Girls came in (unsteadily). They'd managed to sneak into Hogsmeade and were just getting back (it was 3:30 in the morning). They asked why I was sleeping on a sofa and when I told them Row said I could sleep in her bed, "but tell anyone and I'll ensure you spend the rest of your natural life singing castrato." Fine and dandy. Girls' dorm much nicer; poss. due to lack of dungbombs and that they wash their Quidditch gear after every match, practice or use. Also they tidy stuff up.

Anyway, woke up this morning lying on my back with a breast in my left hand, and my hand on Lily's bum. I was in bed with both Rowan and Lily.

James is going to kill me.

Slowly and painfully.

Check under blankets.

The fact that nothing happened is immaterial, he's going to kill me.

I slept with his girlfriend first. Girls got up and went to breakfast; apparently friends are slightly worried about my whereabouts. Row said they didn't tell them. Apparently Lily thinks James will kill her too. Some how Lily have managed to get my diary to me, so they probably now know where I am. Then they all went into Hogsmeade.

Currently have curtains drawn and am trying to think of good reason why I'm here because MacGonagall is in dorm!!!!!!! Oh, fuck, am I in trouble! Especially as obviously spent the night here. Am not wearing clothes. Am not even wearing all of pyjamas. Rowan's asleep on my shoulder; dressed only in my top which isn't even done up. Will be expelled. Mum'll kill me.

Later.

Still in Girl's dorm; have no real desire to leave. Was not caught by MacGonagall due to the lovely Lily, who is far and away the nicest person I know (Rowan is many wonderful things but nice isn't one of them, wouldn't change her for the world though - love Rowan just the way she is). Lily told her that James was worried because he and I had had a fight and no-one knew where I was. Decided it might be an idea to turn up for supper (managing to avoid friends because then would have to go back to own dorm) and now am no longer missing. Like Girl's dorm, have been adopted as dorm mascot. Scarily am now painting everyone's nails.

Rowan is wearing this odd green goop on her face (am not kissing her while it's on. No matter how nicely she asks.) which she claims "will open up and cleanse the pores in my face". Never realised that girls go to such lengths to look pretty. Also am sure she's not supposed to do this in front of me yet. Poss. when we've been living together and/or been married for a few months. We've been having sex since yesterday. Suspect things are moving too fast. Also suspect she's going to put it on me. Am going back to own dorm in morning. No point in going tonight - am on a promise.