Summary: "what you don't know, won't kill you."

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Up through Season Three: Alternate Universe

Disclaimer: I do not own the 7th Heaven characters, and am just borrowing them for awhile, so please, let's veto any thoughts of suing

Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay in recent chapters. I actually forgot about this story and it wasn't until I saw it in my documents that I had neglected it. So, here goes read and enjoy. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing, keep them coming.

When Heaven Weeps: Part Eleven

[Eric's POV]

The monotonous beating of my heart was the only evident sound throughout the empty shell of a house. I handle the phone that lay nestled between my hands like an egg, the object so precious and fragile.

My mind starts up the endless cycle of running around in different motions and odd directions. I no longer have a tight reign on it; it keeps reeling me in, no matter how hard I steer it.

I glance towards the stairs that lead into our bedroom, the room that I dread entering, the room that frightens me, and the room that haunts me, night and day.

Sighing, I prod my feet to begin movement, ordering my bodily functions to continue working. I grab my blazer and with one tosses glance towards upstairs, I swallow the growing lump that had begun to form at the base of my throat and quietly leave the already eerily silent house.

Drumming my fingers against the steering wheel, I breathe in deep breaths, coaxing myself that this was the best thing. Putting her into a program of some sort, getting her the attention and medication she needed. I was doing the right thing; I was being the good husband, wanting this for my wife. But I not only wanted it, I needed it.

Scanning the scrap of paper that I had written Grace's directions, I turn onto the correct street and see myself driving down a residential area. I toss away meaningless thoughts and attempt to locate the coffeehouse. #298

I stare at the building in front of me. A small cottage style house stood before me. I frown as I exit the van and head up the steps, growing confused by the second. Ringing the doorbell, I try and collect my thoughts, and nerve.

"Eric?"

I turn quickly towards the voice and I notice Grace jogging up the front steps, looking flustered as her hair seemed to fly every which way and her business suit appeared rumpled and disarrayed. She smiled wearily and slid her key through the door, swinging it open and motioning me to go on ahead.

"I am so sorry if I kept you waiting. When you called I was at work and I tried to get here as soon as possible, but I ran into some minor problems. Have you been here long?"

Grace dropped her bags and purse onto to the couch and ran her hands through her hair, attempting to smooth the tangles out. I shake my head slowly and look around my surroundings, the placement of the meeting seemingly confusing.

"Where's your boss?"

Grace shrugged carelessly and offered an apologetic smile,

"He's in meetings all day, he won't be joining us this afternoon. But I'll be sure and fill him in on everything. And I have the authority to recommend any suggestions of immediate action."

I bite my lip and fight the ripple of sadness that flowed through my veins. I nod and sit precariously on the edge of an overstuffed chair, waiting for Grace to mirror my actions. She made no move to do so.

"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. I am way too hot for this starched suit. I'll be just a few."

She winks and pads off to her bedroom off the living room, shutting the door halfway. Her voice traveled towards me,

"Help yourself to anything in the fridge. I'm afraid there's not much in the words of food, but I have several choices of beverages."

I rub the back of my head thoughtfully and lean into the chair's support.

"I'm fine."

Grace opens the door and reenters the room, having donned a poplin oversized shirt that was only two thirds of the way buttoned and athletic pants that seemed to have been cropped at the bottom, exposing portion of leg.

She saunters towards me and steps behind the chair in which I sat, her hands beginning to massage my weary muscles. I groan in appreciation, wondering at what this had to do with Annie.

"What do I do about Annie?"

I turn my head to catch a glimpse of eye roll and she smiles reassuringly,

"We have plenty of time to discuss that matter. Let's just relax for a moment, shall we?"

She slides over to the coffee table in front of me and retrieves the wine bottle and glasses that were positioned neatly on the mirror tray.

"Care for a glass?"

I hesitate and she begins to pour the red liquid as I sit forward once again,

"Shouldn't we be talking about Annie and.. her condition?"

Grace shakes her head slightly, loosening her bun and allowing her auburn hair to flow around her shoulders, I automatically fiddle with my collar, feeling the temperature rise as she spoke,

"Nonsense, we need to focus on you feeling better about yourself, relax for a couple of hours, enjoy the alone time."

She sidles up to me and straddles my bent legs, perching on them and gently leaning into me, our bodies pushed together at the back of the chair. She smiles seductively as my entire body tenses at the foreign touch. Heat rushes over me, and I feel fireworks exploding throughout my head, the room swimming in blurring colors.

"Grace, I'm a minister-"

She silences me as her mouth closes the gap between us and her hands reach behind my head to deepen the already intensifying kiss. Surprisingly, I find myself reciprocating the kiss we were sharing, my hands sliding to her waist, resting there, unsure of where else to go.

She breaks away and starts an attack on my neck, I find a meager amount of composure to peel her off of me, attempting to regain coherent thoughts, and breath.

"I'm married, Grace."

Grace closes her eyelids slowly and reopens them, a sly smile returning to her features. She leans back in and whispers onto my parted lips,

"I'm not asking you to marry me."

As soon as those words rolled off her tongue, her mouth is once again upon mine and her hands had begun a search for my shirt. I begin to feel paralyzed and motionless, an urgent voice shouted down to me, "what are you thinking?! You have no business here." And then the other voice that spoke softly, "it's not a big deal, you deserve some love in your life, and it is right in front of you, seize the moment!"

Pressure leaves my body and I open my apparently closed eyelids and suddenly find Grace shrugging off her shirt and my shirt, in one swift movement. She sets herself back on my lap again, strumming her fingers along my chest, and crashing upon my upper body, our chests colliding with each other, the experience sending shivers down my back.

Grace takes the shivers as an encouragement and grabs my hands, bringing them to her lips and caressing them. I find myself lost in a world of mysterious emotions, ones that are not only new, but also forbidden. The thoughts of infidelity pass through my mind, here I was, in another woman's arms as my wife of more than 20 years lay in a cold bed, alone.

What was I thinking?

I'm a withstanding citizen, with a reputation to maintain. A wife and children to take of. A church that depends on me. I'm God's servant, ready for His use.

I'm a man who has needs. I am someone with feelings. I am someone who needs fulfillment in my life. I am Eric Camden, I have crossed a line I forbid myself to cross. I am nothing.

We're standing now, her warm hands guiding me towards another room. I feel myself not resisting any of these advances, my emotions have caught up with me, and my sensible thinking has yet to catch up.

I'm laying on a strange bed, about to become one with a woman assures me we are doing nothing wrong, I need this. Something about it being healthy and strengthening my failing marriage. Somehow, those words don't fully make sense, they even seem twisted in such a way, but my brain cannot grasp this concept.

I am not only physically naked, but also emotionally naked. I no longer feel anything except the slight pressure that weighs on top of me. I begin to slip in and out consciousness, the world spinning around before me, fragments of past occurrences reel before my eyes. As the room turns black and ceases to exist, as does my soul.

To Be Continued...................................

(only one chapter remains, watch for the final installation of unresolved issues, and words left unsaid between these characters to make its debut in mid-to-late March!)