Disclaimer: It's not mine.

Feedback: Yes please!

!!!Author's note!!!: I've realized that these are more poetic musings than actual poems. Please excuse my word choice in the summary. I will attempt to fix that later.

************************************ShadowElfBard**********************************

Children I Can Never Have ~~~Sydney

I've raised children before

Though they have never truly been my own

Jarod, the prodigal son who I was forced to turn away from

Ms. Parker, the lonely little girl who I couldn't shield

Angelo, the tortured child whom I still can't understand

And Nicholas, my own flesh and blood who I must watch from the sidelines

So many mistakes, so many failures

They needed me so much

They longed for security that I couldn't provide

And they were forced to move on

To learn to live without the comfort

Or the safety they required from me

As Ms. Parker so bitterly puts it, 'they survived'

Yes, survival is the main point isn't it?

Jarod survived

And now runs nonstop

Afraid to stay in one place too long

Or to love someone,

In fear that they will be hurt because of it

Ms. Parker survived

And is now a cold and unreachable woman

A beauty that tries to numb her pain

In bottles of wine, and countless beds

Angelo survived

In the way that only Angelo can,

And now travels forever in the darkness of vents

Watching, listening, never really participating

Feeling everyone else's emotions, but not truly able to understand his own

And Nicholas Survived

Raised by another man, a stranger

Forced to believe a lie

He'll never truly know me, nor I him

But perhaps it's better this way for all of them

For I don't deserve their love, nor their kindness

I, who had forsaken them,

I, who had deserted them,

I, who distanced to protect,

Knowing the pain it would cause

I, who now must go through every day and week,

Watching children I can never have.

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Feedback? Pretty please with sugar on top? What if I added in a cherry?