The Blair Garland Project...
By Western Dragon
The characters in this fanfiction are copyrighted by Squaresoft and I do not plan to ever state otherwise. This is merely a work of fiction and a slight way to praise Square's greatness. Also the character's personalities and the story are slightly based on South Park, which is copyrighted by uh... (*whispers* Who owns it again?) and 8-Bit Theatre, which is copyrighted by Brian Clevinger, the wonderful guy him. So no sue for you! And now we join our heroes and heroine in the dark abyss that is the Temple of Fiends.
"I want to know exactly how you got us lost, you stupid jock!" Black Mage growled at their pajama-wearing leader.
"This place is vast, mage. Not even the gods themselves could figure out such a complex maze." Black Belt said in his defense.
"Vast? Complex? It has one corridor!!" Black Mage shouted in anger and annoyance.
"I like swords!" Fighter said cheerfully, still following Black Belt.
"Don't make me kill you too. I'd hate to not have a victim.. I mean a traveling companion in front of me. Yeah, that's it." Black Mage trailed off.
1 Hour Later
"I can't... go any further." Fighter groaned and then collapsed, "Armor... Crushing... Vital... Organs."
"We could always take a break." White Mage said sweetly.
"Great! I'll have time to check you..." Black Mage stopped at the sight of the dreaded hammer, "Your uh... Equipment for dents! Yeah."
"Ok! Check mine too!" Fighter insisted as he dropped his armor on top of Black Mage, crushing him.
"Must... Kill. Can't reach... Knife." Black Mage stuttered before passing out.
2 Hours Later
"So hungry... I can't go another step without some food!" Red Mage groaned as he pathetically leaned against Thief for support.
"If you're so hungry why don't you eat Black Belt?" Black Mage joked.
3 Hours Later
"I can't believe we ate Black Belt..." White Mage thought out loud, "This goes against every ethic and moral I've ever believed in."
"He's dead! He's finally, finally dead!" Black Mage sang as he pranced.
"We're going to need to eat again soon..." Red Mage concluded, hardly audible.
"What the hell? Are you people diabetic or something?" Thief scoffed as he looked around at the remainder of his Light Warriors.
4 Hours Later
"I can't believe we ate Thief." White Mage sighed.
"I can." Black Mage stated simply. "Tasted like Elvin Chicken! I give it a +4 in tasty-ness!" Red Mage announced to the rest of his companions.
5 Hours Later
"Why are you trying to stab Fighter, Black Mage?" Red Mage questioned the little, blue-robed mage in confusion.
"I'm hankering for some wings but I can't dent his damn armor!" Black Mage growled as he continued to try and stab through Fighter's platemail.
"Hehe! Quit! That tickles, Black Mage!" Fighter laughed.
6 Hours Later
"What are you doing with that knife, Black Mage?" Red Mage squeaked.
"Don't worry, it'll ALL be over before you know it." Black Mage reassured him.
"ARG! NO! AUGH! NOT MY +2 CHARISMA SCROTUM!" Red Mage called out in anguish.
7 Hours Later
"Where's Red Mage?" White Mage asked in worry.
"Hell if I know." Black Mage lied in a slick tone as he burped.
8 Hours Later
"Look! Light! It must be an exit!" White Mage cheered.
"Yay!" Fighter chorused.
"I hate the light..." Black Mage grumbled.
30 Minutes Later
"So who wants some Thief? I made sure to save some in these handy, dandy ziplock bags!" White Mage asked the two men with her usual cheery attitude as they camped by the nearby forest.
"ME!" Fighter & Black Mage shouted in unison.
The End? o.O
By Western Dragon
The characters in this fanfiction are copyrighted by Squaresoft and I do not plan to ever state otherwise. This is merely a work of fiction and a slight way to praise Square's greatness. Also the character's personalities and the story are slightly based on South Park, which is copyrighted by uh... (*whispers* Who owns it again?) and 8-Bit Theatre, which is copyrighted by Brian Clevinger, the wonderful guy him. So no sue for you! And now we join our heroes and heroine in the dark abyss that is the Temple of Fiends.
"I want to know exactly how you got us lost, you stupid jock!" Black Mage growled at their pajama-wearing leader.
"This place is vast, mage. Not even the gods themselves could figure out such a complex maze." Black Belt said in his defense.
"Vast? Complex? It has one corridor!!" Black Mage shouted in anger and annoyance.
"I like swords!" Fighter said cheerfully, still following Black Belt.
"Don't make me kill you too. I'd hate to not have a victim.. I mean a traveling companion in front of me. Yeah, that's it." Black Mage trailed off.
1 Hour Later
"I can't... go any further." Fighter groaned and then collapsed, "Armor... Crushing... Vital... Organs."
"We could always take a break." White Mage said sweetly.
"Great! I'll have time to check you..." Black Mage stopped at the sight of the dreaded hammer, "Your uh... Equipment for dents! Yeah."
"Ok! Check mine too!" Fighter insisted as he dropped his armor on top of Black Mage, crushing him.
"Must... Kill. Can't reach... Knife." Black Mage stuttered before passing out.
2 Hours Later
"So hungry... I can't go another step without some food!" Red Mage groaned as he pathetically leaned against Thief for support.
"If you're so hungry why don't you eat Black Belt?" Black Mage joked.
3 Hours Later
"I can't believe we ate Black Belt..." White Mage thought out loud, "This goes against every ethic and moral I've ever believed in."
"He's dead! He's finally, finally dead!" Black Mage sang as he pranced.
"We're going to need to eat again soon..." Red Mage concluded, hardly audible.
"What the hell? Are you people diabetic or something?" Thief scoffed as he looked around at the remainder of his Light Warriors.
4 Hours Later
"I can't believe we ate Thief." White Mage sighed.
"I can." Black Mage stated simply. "Tasted like Elvin Chicken! I give it a +4 in tasty-ness!" Red Mage announced to the rest of his companions.
5 Hours Later
"Why are you trying to stab Fighter, Black Mage?" Red Mage questioned the little, blue-robed mage in confusion.
"I'm hankering for some wings but I can't dent his damn armor!" Black Mage growled as he continued to try and stab through Fighter's platemail.
"Hehe! Quit! That tickles, Black Mage!" Fighter laughed.
6 Hours Later
"What are you doing with that knife, Black Mage?" Red Mage squeaked.
"Don't worry, it'll ALL be over before you know it." Black Mage reassured him.
"ARG! NO! AUGH! NOT MY +2 CHARISMA SCROTUM!" Red Mage called out in anguish.
7 Hours Later
"Where's Red Mage?" White Mage asked in worry.
"Hell if I know." Black Mage lied in a slick tone as he burped.
8 Hours Later
"Look! Light! It must be an exit!" White Mage cheered.
"Yay!" Fighter chorused.
"I hate the light..." Black Mage grumbled.
30 Minutes Later
"So who wants some Thief? I made sure to save some in these handy, dandy ziplock bags!" White Mage asked the two men with her usual cheery attitude as they camped by the nearby forest.
"ME!" Fighter & Black Mage shouted in unison.
The End? o.O
