DISCLAIMER : Tamers do not belong to me *goes to steal Ryo*…sadly. I just use them for the heck of it.

WARNING!! : I've decided to raise the rating because of the excessive swearing…and an ordeal later on in this chapter. If you are easily offended, please don't read it. Ooh – and there may be OOC…Lots of Ryuki moments in here.

With Tainted Wings

Chapter 2 : Where Do I Go From Here

"Your father…he's in the hospital."

Ryo stood there, the pain in his palm gone. "What?"

"He's in the hospital," the policeman repeated again stoically.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he yelled. Ryo rushed past him and ran into the house. "Dad? DAD?! DAD?!?! Where are you?!" he called frantically, searching the house.

The policeman came after him, and found Ryo in his father's room, digging through the blankets and sheets like a wild animal.

"Ryo," the man began, placing his hand on his shoulder. Ryo shrugged him off, not saying anything, but instead, digging. "Ryo, let's go to the hospital. You can see your dad there and then we can explain what happened."

"NO! He's not at the hospital. He's just hiding." Ryo was delusional. He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it.

The policeman easily hoisted Ryo off the bed and to his feet. "Ryo! Snap out of it!"

The hot tears couldn't be held back. They flowed from his eyes down his cheeks, stinging every part of his skin, his soul. "Take me to see him. Please." He said it slowly, the words escaping his dry mouth.

"Of course. C'mon. I'll drive you," the policeman offered kindly. He led him out to the car, pushing away the crowd.

"I heard that he shot himself," someone said.

"Nah, he stabbed himself to death," another argued.

"No, the aliens came and used their lasers on him!"

Laughter erupted from a corner, setting off rage in Ryo's mind. "You bastards," he mumbled to them, secretly aiming his middle finger at them. Ryo got into the car and drove away towards the hospital.

"I'm not positive on what happened, but the neighbors who called the ambulance found him unconscious in the backyard," the policeman said. "The doctors will do everything they can to help your dad."

Ryo looked out at the passing scenery, wiping away the stains the tears left on his face. All he could do was nod. His throat had dried and clamped up too much for any words to come out. He had been such an idiot early today. It was all his fault that his father was in the hospital. All his fault. The drive was short, but seemed like an eternity to him. When they pulled up at the hospital, Ryo sprung out of the car and ran through the parking lot and into the hospital.

"Where's Akiyama Hiroshi?!" he demanded at the counter, practically screaming at the receptionist.

"Calm yourself down, young man," the elderly lady said. She then slowly turned the computer and typed in some things. "Akiyama Hiroshi. Level B, Room 421."

"Thank you," he said, before speeding off towards the elevator.

"Slow down!" the lady yelled out behind him.

Ryo jammed his finger into the up button repeatedly, waiting for the elevator the come. "Hurry up, you blasted piece of shit!" he swore.

Ding. The doors opened and luckily, no one was inside. He rushed in and pressed the button with B on it and waited for the doors to close. They shut and the elevator went up to B, then opened, unleashing Ryo. He ran down the hall, looking for the right room. 435, no…430…no. 426…no…422…no…421. Eureka.

Ryo barged in the door and ran into a rotund nurse.

"Excuse me. May I help you?" she asked, looking down at him.

"Where is he? Where's my dad?" he looked around her.

"I take it that you're Ryo Akiyama."

"Yes. Yes, I am. Is he okay?" Worry clouded his eyes.

"He's alive, if that's what you mean," she responded. "I'll explain to you outside. Your father needs his rest."

"Okay," he said quietly.

Outside, Ryo sat down on a seat and the nurse sat down next to him. "Let me explain to you what happened. Your neighbors called an ambulance. They said that there was a man lying unconscious in your backyard. When the ambulance got there, he was still out so they brought him here and checked your father. It turns out that he had overdosed on pills. Two bottles in fact. It's a miracle that he was still breathing. We have pumped his stomach, but we aren't expecting anything until the morning."

"It's all my fault…" Ryo whispered, clenching his fists. "It's all my fault he tried to commit suicide."

"Don't say that," she comforted, patting his back. "Your father loved you very much."

"That's why he tried to escape this world through death…" Ryo replied, the tears back in his eyes.

"It was his mentality – it had nothing to do with you, Ryo," she said softly. "Now, you will need a place to stay for the night."

"Can I stay next to my father? I want to watch over him. It's my duty to. Please!" Ryo begged.

"I'm sorry. That's not possible," the nurse said. "He needs to recover. We'll have a nurse check on him every 25 minutes so there's nothing to worry about."

"I want to! I need to!" Ryo cried.

"Absolutely not. I'm very sorry," she replied. "Now, do you have a friend in which you can stay with?"

Ryo thought for a moment…only one person came to mind. "Yes."

"Good. Now, you run along. You can come see him in the morning." The nurse led him back to the lobby, where the policeman sat, reading a magazine.

"Ahem," the nurse cleared her throat.

The policeman looked up and saw that two, and got up. "Is he alright?"

"Yes, both him and his father. Would it be too much to ask if you could bring him to his friend's house?" she asked.

"Of course not. C'mon, Ryo," he said. Ryo nodded and followed him back into the parking lot and into the car. Silence was all there was in the atmosphere, thick and uneasy. The digital clock blazed with neon green 10:30.

"So…where does this friend of yours live?" he asked.

"Off of Route 6," he replied simply and quietly.

"Okay," he said, driving down the highway. There were still a lot of cars out at night, their headlights like stars that had fallen to Earth. It all seemed like a blur to Ryo, who's head was drowning. Thoughts, memories, images were all swirling inside his mind. Soon, they drove down Route 6, which was dark and empty, except for the couple of streetlights that barely lit the streets.

"You can stop," Ryo said, in front of the bakery.


"Alright." He pulled over and Ryo stepped out of the car, breathing deeply. The policeman rolled down the window and said, "Just come back and give me a sign that I can go, okay?"

Ryo walked into the alleyway, which was shadowed by the tall buildings. He then walked back out into the light and signaled him to go.

"You take care now," the policeman said. "I'll be back to pick you up at 9:00 tomorrow morning. Then you can go visit your dad. Good night, now."

Ryo nodded subtly, and watched him drive off. Making sure that he had left, Ryo walked back into the alley and scaled the brick wall, climbing over it and into a different street. He then ran down a few blocks and into another alleyway, and then around two corners and down a dark street. The walls surrounded him, sending chills up his spine. And slowly, he reached and dead-end and climbed up another wall. His hands burned from all the rocky walls, especially his cut. It pained him so much that he felt dizzy at times. Ryo hadn't really noticed it until a few minutes ago – he was too busy thinking about his father.

Slowly, he descended on the other side of the wall, but lost his step and grip. His tired body fell with a thud on the grass below. He winced, swearing to himself.

"Who's there?" a voice hissed in the night. The sound of a door sliding open echoed in Ryo's ears as he looked up.

Ruki.

"I know you're out there," she said, a little louder. Her violet eyes roamed around, her hands placed on her hips.

"Ru…ki," he winced. "Ruki…" he said louder.

"…Ryo??" she said in a surprised tone. "Where are you?"

"Over here," he called.

Ruki followed the voice and walked towards the wall. She then felt her foot kick something.

"Ouch," Ryo said, "stop kicking me."

"Eh?" Ruki said, bending down. "Ryo, what the hell are you doing here?"

He smiled and joked, "Can't I visit my favorite person once in awhile?"

She blushed. "In the middle of the night?"

"Nonsense! It's only like eleven, right?" Ryo said, looking up at the stars and full moon.

"Try, a quarter to one."

Ryo narrowed his eyes and saw that she was in her pj's – a tee shirt and shorts. "Oh, time sure flies by."

"What's going on??" Ruki asked, standing up. "There's something the matter with you."

"There's nothing wrong with me," he denied.

She narrowed her eyes. "And I suppose that climbing over walls is just one of your daily routines. You know, I could call the cops on you for trespassing," Ruki threatened, turning around and heading back inside.

"Wait. Please, don't," he begged, dragging himself to his feet. "I just…I just need someone I can talk to."

Ruki looked at him for a minute and then turned around and walked back in. "Okay."

Ryo followed her inside to her room. He'd never been there before, and there were times when he wished that he was. She turned on the lights and sat down atop her bed [okay – her sleeping bag thing will be referred to as her bed.]

"Wouldn't your parents mind that a boy's in your room?" he asked.

"My mom and grandma's gone somewhere up north. To some spa crap."  Silence. "So, what's wrong?" she asked coolly.

"…I…I…need….to use the bathroom," he said.

"Oh brother…" she mocked. "Two doors down."

He walked into the hall and into the bathroom. A tub, toilet, sink…Ryo sighed and leaned on the sink, gazing into the mirror.

"Ryo Akiyama…" he laughed sardonically. "You're one helluva kid. First, your mother dies and then you run away…run away into the digital world for years and years. And then when you come back, your dad hates you. He wants to fucking kill you." Ryo spoke to himself, eyes still locked with his reflection. He chuckled and placed his palm on the glass. "…But…you got to him first. And you run again. To the other person that you love. And you're going to kill her too." His eyes narrowed as he bent his head down, clenching his fists on the sink. His gash burned. "Not unless you kill yourself first…"

His fist flew into the mirror, shattering the glass into hundreds of shards. It slashed at his neck and face, his arms and clothes. He didn't feel it, even as he saw crimson ambrosia flow freely from his hand.

"Ryo? RYO?!" Ruki yelled from outside. "What the hell's going on in there?!" she asked. "I'm coming in." Ruki opened the door, which was unlocked and gasped. Ryo was standing in a sea of broken glass, his fist still on the remnants of where the mirror was. "What the hell happened?" She made her way in slowly and carefully towards him.

Ryo smiled at her and let his hands fall to his side. "Ruki, I love you."

She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at him, shock written all over her face. "No…no. You don't. It was just a stupid crush," she managed to choke out.

"Let me prove it to you…then maybe, I'd have a reason worth living…I'd have your love. All of it…" he spoke slowly, moving towards her. She stood there, firm yet dazed.

The bloody mass known as Ryo stopped in front of her and looked at her face. He drew his hand up to her face, getting blood on her cheek. She lurched a bit in surprise but held firm. "Ryo…"

He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. "Ruki." His breath was warm on her neck. "Do you love me?"

She didn't respond. She wouldn't respond to him. Something was wrong with him – she was sure of it now.

"Answer me!" he demanded her, grasping her tighter.

"Ryo, you're hurting me," she told him, trying to get out of his grasp. She refused to answer him.

"RUKI, ANSWER ME!!" Ryo yelled it this time, sinking down the floor with her in his arms. "Please…" he begged quietly.

"Ryo, snap out of it!" she told him, still trying to break his grasp.

"NOT UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME!!" he cried, tears beginning to fall from his face. Ryo leaned forward, pinning Ruki under his weight.

"Ryo! Please! Snap out of-" she began, only to be cut off.

He kissed her, pressing his mouth down with all his pent up emotion onto her mouth. Her eyes widened as reality hit her. One hand rested on her side while the other laid on her stomach. He wouldn't let her go. His hand traveled up her shirt and danced upon her ribs. She couldn't breathe. With one swift and strong movement, she got her hand free and slapped him straight across the face. Ryo fell back and landed on his backside.

"Ryo! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Ruki wiped her mouth, trying to wipe away the vileness. He remained silent staring up at the ceiling. She walked over to him and pinned him down, wrapping her hands around his collar. She punched him this time. "Tell me!!" she demanded him, her eyes piercing his.

Tears fell again, this time, from her face. "You're scaring me, Akiyama. I want the old Ryo back. The one that was nice, funny, kind…not some psychotic womanizer!!" she cried, grasping the collar tighter. Her tears splashed onto his face, running down his cheek. "I want to help you," she choked out.

He wanted to cry with her, but the tears wouldn't come out. All he could do was comfort her. And that's what he did. He sat up, wrapped his arms around her gently, and comforted her.

After the fiasco died down, Ruki told Ryo to stay in her room while she cleaned up the bathroom and got some bandages. He obeyed her, parts of his skin caked with dried blood. He sat down on the floor next to her table. There, laid a piece of nostalgia. A D-ARC. He picked it up and ran his fingers over the screen. He missed it. The escape from reality. One of his best friends. He missed it all.

"Reminiscing?" she asked, standing by the doorway.

"Yea," he said quietly, setting the device down. 

She said nothing after that, but motioned for him to sit down on the floor next to her. Ruki had cloths, bandages, water, and spare clothes. She rolled his sleeves up and wet the cloth in the bin. She then started gently removing all the blood on his arm. Her shirt was stained with his blood, and there was some on her cheek too, he noted. Slowly he turned his head away and stared at the table.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"…I don't want to burden you with my pain." Ryo meant it.

"Bullshit. I can handle it and you know it. Tell me – I want to know," Ruki said, dipping the cloth in water again.

"My dad. He's in the hospital. And it's my fault."

"Oh…" Ruki mumbled. "I'm so sorry."

He smiled weakly at her. "Don't be. Before I went to the arcade, my dad, he asked me to run an errand for him. I blew up in his face and ran off." She listened to him. "My father and I, we never got along after my mom passed away. It was weird – it was like my mom was the peacemaker. I guess after she got killed, I never forgave my dad. He was driving that day…" his voice wavered.

Ruki remained silent. "I thought it was his fault she died," Ryo clenched his fist. "And today, when I got home, there were policemen and people all around my house. They say he overdosed on some pills. I had gotten him so upset that he tried to kill himself…"

She stopped washing away the blood for a moment and looked up at him. "It's not your fault." He looked at her. "It's not your fault he wanted to take away his own life," she repeated. "His mind was blurry, maybe even unbalanced, and he wanted the easy way out. So he wanted to end it all. It has nothing to do with you!"

"I upset him. I never respected him! I never even gave him love!" Ryo argued.

"People who wants to kill themselves don't deserve any of that!!" she said, "Can't you see that?"

"No, I can't," he replied.

SMACK. She hit him again, anger on her face. "You…you idiot!" she cursed at him. "It was his choice!! Not yours!" Ryo held his cheek. It stung. "Instead of wallowing in your pain, do something to help your dad sort himself out!" He nodded.

"Sorry for hitting you," she apologized, washing his other arm now.

"Thank you," he said. "It really means a lot to me."

"Anything for a friend."  He smiled warmly and stayed still as she finished washing the blood off. She then handed him an oversized tee shirt and boxers that used to belong to her dad, that is, before he ran off. "Here, you can go change in here. I'll go outside," she said.

Ruki did and waited until he told her she could come back in. He looked funny in all the oversized clothes, but at least he was clean. Finally, she began wrapping bandages around his hand, where he got gashes and cuts. They were red, inflamed even. She put ointment on it and wrapped it tightly with bandages.

"Thank you again," he said.

"It's okay," she said. "You should go to sleep. It's almost three and you've had one hell of a day. You can use my room," she said, carrying the water outside and dumping it onto the grass.

He laid down on her sleeping bag, breathing deeply. She walked over him to turn off the light.

"Wait," he choked out, wrapping his bandages hand on her ankle. She nearly tripped and fell on him.

"Hn?" she asked.

"Please…"

"Please what?" she asked.

"Stay here with me," Ryo begged quietly.

Surprised, she turned bright red. "Uh…"

"I promise I won't do anything to you. I just want to sleep near someone tonight. For comfort…" he pleaded innocently.

Ruki's heart raced. "I don't know…isn't that something you do when you're married?"

"I just want you to sleep next to me. No sex. No fondling. Nothing like that."

She sighed. He was a good friend, and she was worried about him. What happened if he tried to kill himself in the middle of the night? Slowly, she sank down next to him and inhaled deeply. He opened up the sleeping bag to her. Ruki found herself crawling in next to him into the warmth. She shifted a bit before she got comfortable. Ryo smiled to himself and moved closer to her, burying his head in the crook of her neck.

"Thank you," he whispered for the last time, before drifting to sleep.

"Anything for a…friend…" she said back, drifting to sleep as well.

Ruki awoke to the sound of shuffling and the floorboards creaking. Wearily, she got up and glanced at the clock on her table. A little after eight, it read. She then turned her attention to the boy slipping on his jacket. He had changed back into his other clothes.

"Ryo? Where are you going?" she asked sleepily.

"Sorry – I didn't mean to wake you. I'm going to see my dad at the hospital."

"Alright. Let me walk you out," she said. Ruki left the warmth of her bed and slipped on a coat and shoes. Her eyes were shadowed with sleepiness

Ryo and Ruki walked through the small garden and towards the doors.

"Thank you for everything." Ryo hugged her.

Ruki was caught off guard yet again. She hugged him back. "Just don't go committing suicide. I want to be the one to kill you…" she whispered.

Ryo chuckled. "Okay. I'll promise you that."

He ran off down the street and turned the corner, out of her sight.

Ryo got back to the bakery a little before nine. The policeman was already there. Thank god he didn't see him climb in through the alleyway. He straightened out his clothes before walking up to the car and knocking on the window.

"Ahh, good morning," the man said, sipping on his coffee.

"Good morning," he responded inaudibly.

"How was your night?"

"…fitful," was all Ryo managed to say.

The policeman pulled onto Route 6 and began driving back to the hospital. The ride was silent again, and he was glad that he didn't ask about his bandaged hands. Ryo stared outside, his mind set straight once more. He knew what he had to now. They pulled up soon at the hospital. This time, Ryo walked in like a civilized person instead of charging in like a bull. He made his way to his father's room, 421. Inside, he called out to him.

"Dad…it's me."

No response.

"Dad?" he called again, walking further in.

With one swift move, he pushed the curtain aside and stared at the empty bed. A hand fell upon his shoulder and Ryo looked up at the man's face. Ryo covered his ears and cried.

Okay – this was an odd chapter. But it will make sense in the next chapter. The next chapter may possibly be the last one. Read, review. Enjoy.