Title: Total Eclipse of the Heart

Series: Tokyo Babylon/ X-1999 by CLAMP

Author: Neko

Email: sumeragi_subarukun@yahoo.de

Rating: PG 13, songfic

Warning: dark and angsty

Disclaimer: The mentioned characters don't belong to me, neither does the song „Total Eclipse

of the Heart", performed by Bonnie Tyler, Lyrics by Jim Steinman.

I just wanted to warn you: the beginning of the dialogue is a complete rip off from X, and a certain

scene is shamelessly taken from the movie "the crow". Please ignore my inoriginality! And maybe

there a some crude expressions because I first wrote this story in my mother language German

and then decided to translate it in English... ^^;;;

Anyway, C &C are greatly appreciated!

Dedicated to Shiun, Hokuto, Leareth and Yui!

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Total Eclipse of the Heart by Neko

Midnight hour had passed long ago.

Sumeragi Subaru stared at the ceiling of his darkened room.

During the daytime he could give the impression that he had already overcome his grief and pain;

only a very attentive beholder could see the truth mirrored in his eyes.

But at night, we he lay like this on the bed in his sparely furnitured apartment, hoping to get a little

sleep, pretending time was over.

Nothing had changed since the day his two most beloved persons had vanished out of his life.

Turnaround

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round

Turnaround

Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears

Turnaround

Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by

It is said that time heals all wounds, but the people who believed in this surely had never known

what it meant for a person to loose the most treasured things in his life.

What it meant to loose the half of his existence and his whole heart.

Subaru closed his eyes, fighting a silent war against the memories that haunted him in every

moment of his life, but losing eventually.

oxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Cherry blossoms, beautiful yet deceptive dance carelessly in the wind.

Crimson blood covers the earth, soiling the carpet of pale pink petals.

His name, called with the last breath of a young life that is irretrievably lost.

A smile in the darkness. Two mismatched eyes. So beautiful, so disdainful, so cold.

Turnaround

Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes

Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

Subaru sat up in bed, startled.

It was useless. He would not find any rest tonight. Not tonight and maybe never again.

First he had to reach his goal, to have his wish fulfilled.

Crossing the room Subaru came to an halt by the big windows who showed a wonderful view over

the city.

Tokyo, modern Babylon, proud and ignorant in it's hubris. The hunting ground of the

Sakurazukamori.

A faint spark of determination lit up in Subaru's gray-green eyes.

Tonight the hunter would become the hunted.

Turnaround

Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry

Ice-cold wind haunted the streets and let Subaru's coat flutter behind him like a pair of white wings.

But the young man didn't mind the cold. His single-minded steps were guided only by the faint glow

of the twin pentagrams on the back of his hands.

The ineradicable signs of the Sakurazukamori, the symbol of their bond.

The one searched for couldn't be far. Subaru had never managed to get so near. Did he want to be

found?

Suddenly the young man looked up.

The illuminated streets were gone. A void darkness had expanded around him.

Without realizing he had entered the very realm of the Sakurazukamori: an illusion.

And out of the nothing a huge, ancient tree showed itself before Subaru. Covered with rosy snow its

branches reached endlessly high into the artificial sky. Thousands of tender blossom petals silently

rained down on Subaru.

But even if he had bothered to extend his hand to catch one of them, it would have disappeared

immediately. Because they were nothing but an illusion.

Intently staring into the darkness Subaru finally recognized a tall figure in a black trenchcoat,

leaning nonchalantly against the tree trunk.

The wonderful, void smile was the same as ever, like the eyes.

One of it was the colour of gold, lit up with an uncanny glimmer that made it not entirely human,

but that of a predatory animal about to pounce on its prey. The other was milky-white like a frozen

lake, and exactly as indifferent and empty.

Both of them blind in their own way.

Because none of them saw Subaru.

The one eye capable of seeing beheld only a pretty crystal, that surprisingly only got a crack, but did

not break entirely, as its owner had dropped it carelessly.

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes

Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

Subaru clenched his fists and tried to regain his regular breath.

"Subaru-kun", said the figure in front of him and smiled, pretending that their last meeting hadn't

been many years and countless cried tears ago.

The Sakurazukamori reached into his pocket and retrieved a cigarette. In the next moment Subaru

was beside him and gave him a light.

Again that smile, providing fake safeness.

"Thank you."

The young man intended to pull his hand with the lighter away, but a lightning-fast grip held him

back.

And I need you now tonight

And I need you more than ever

And if you'll only hold me tight

We'll be holding on forever

And we'll only be making it right

Cause we'll never be wrong together

We can take it to the end of the line

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time

I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark

We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight

Forever's gonna start tonight

Forever's gonna start tonight

Insecurity, fear and anger flashed across Subaru's features, as his knuckles were almost touched by

the other man's lips, but he let it happen.

"Is that your lighter?", the hunter whispered. "So you started smoking?"

Sudden burning anger caught Subaru at this question, and he pulled his hand back.

Why did he ask, although he didn't care at all?

A smirk graced the Sakurazukamori's face.

"You know that it's bad for your health."

Incapable of listening any longer to this nonchalant, easy voice Subaru took a few steps back.

"I've searched for you for a very long time", he said softly, his eyes not leaving the person in front of

him even for a second, "because I want to see my wish fulfilled."

Once upon a time I was falling in love

But now I'm only falling apart

There's nothing I can do

A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life

But now there's only love in the dark

Nothing I can say

A total eclipse of the heart

Faint surprise ghosted over the dark hunter's attractive features, while he took a drag from his

cigarette.

"Is that so? I assume that your wish is to kill me, because I was the one that killed your beloved

sister. You're so cute, Subaru-kun!"

Subaru's jet-black eyebrows furrowed like the dark clouds of an approaching thunderstorm.

But his decision was made. He wouldn't change his mind.

With closed eyes he began to whisper a spell and pulled some ofuda out of the pocket of his coat.

In the next moment these were thrown at his opponent, turning into white birds as they flew.

Immediately the Sakurazukamori drew a glowing pentagram in the air in front of him, and the

shikigami rebound on it without doing any harm. Then he lifted his hand and blasted a shock wave

against the young man.

Subaru sent a last prayer to every god known to man and didn't evade the blow.

A huge explosion shook the artificial world around the two.

Cherry blossoms whirled up and finally settled on an unmoving figure lying on the ground.

The dark onmyouji smiled and threw away his cigarette.

"If you really want to kill me, you have to put a little bit more effort in it, Subaru-kun."

No reaction.

Moments passed. Finally two black, immaculately polished shoes treaded over the carpet of

blossoms. The dark hunter kneed beside the young man to make sure that he was only unconscious.

With a mockingly tender gesture he stroked lightly over the pale face.

A second later two green eyes looked at him. They were veiled with pain, but illuminated

with desperate determination.

Turnaround bright eyes

Subaru's slim hands, branded with the Sakurazukamori's seal, closed over hands twice their size

with surprising strength.

Almost inaudible words of an ancient spell rose into the air, covering the black-clad man who tried

too late to evade their grip.

With all his remaining power Subaru concentrated on the spell, knowing that he wouldn't get a

second chance.

The dancing cherry blossom petals around him seemed to become paler as they were drained of all

colour. The ancient tree's branches moved silently as floods of crimson blood welled out of it's bark.

Subaru held onto the other man's hand even tighter, unblinkingly fixating the mismatched eyes' gaze,

that showed genuine startlement.

"You think that you know me, Seishirou-san", the white onmyouji whispered, but his voice was easily

heard over the storm of blossoms. "But you are wrong. You know nothing."

Again painful reminiscences washed over Subaru's mind, but he didn't try to oppress them. Not at

all.

"Let me show you!"

Turnaround

Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be

Turnaround

But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am

Turnaround

Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you

Turnaround

Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do

Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

Pale pink petals. A scream. Blood.

Endless pain, anger and grief.

Self-accusations, the torturing thought that it was all alone his fault.

Self-hatred, because he had been so blind and naïve in his trusting.

Endless days and nights of wandering around like the lost soul that he was, not knowing if life still

held any meaning for him.

Insomnia, nightmares, loneliness, memories.

Pain and grief and a deep regret, a vague wish for being able to forgive, a silly hope for a new

beginning.

Doubts and fears.

Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And at last the revelation that there was no other way.

No other way than to face his destiny again.

Eternity seemed to have passed.

Subaru let go of Seishirou's hand. The man stumbled backwards and ran a trembling hand over his

eyes.

"What... what have you done?", he asked in disbelieve.

The young man tried to stand up, but the spell had taken all of his remaining strength.

"Not more or less than you have done to me, Seishirou-san", he answered softly. "I just let you look

inside my heart."

Seishirou stared at him.

"It... hurts", he murmured. "What is it?"

And I need you now tonight

And I need you more than ever

And if you'll only hold me tight

Well be holding on forever

Slowly Subaru crawled to Seishirou's side and bent over him.

"This feeling is called love, Seishirou-san", he breathed, and despite his exhaustion he lay a hand

on Seishirou's cheek and gave him a feather-light kiss on the mouth.

"And for this time... I'll let you go."

And we'll only be making it right

Cause we'll never be wrong together

We can take it to the end of the line

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time

I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark

We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight

Once again white blossoms whirled up and veiled the light an the dark figure completely from sight.

Forever's gonna start tonight

oxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

With a jolt Subaru sat up in bed and pushed a few black strands out of his sweat-covered forehead.

Heavily breathing he sat there for a few seconds and stared into the darkness of his room, trying to

calm his painfully fast pounding heart.

Once again it had only been a dream.

But it had been different from the usual ones.

Slowly Subaru got out of bed and went to the window, looking out at the nighttime city's silhouette.

Somewhere out there was the dark hunter, stalking his prey.

Tonight blood would be shed again. And some person would be able to see in his last moments of

life the Sakurazukamori's wonderful smile and cold burning eyes.

And it would not be Sumeragi Subaru.

Leaning his forehead against the cool window glass, the young man stared silently out... and started.

For the fracture of a second he believed that he had seen a white cherry blossom petal falling from

the sky. But as more and more white spots rained from the heavens, he realized that they were just the

first snowflakes in this year. Soon they would cover the city like a white, cold, indiffenent cloth.

But as white as the snow was, it wouldn't be able to change the darkness that was all around.

Once upon a time I was falling in love

But now I'm only falling apart

Nothing I can do

A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life

But now there's only love in the dark

Nothing I can say

A total eclipse of the heart

OWARI