Chapter 8
Romulus Lupin peered groggily around the confines of his cell. His eyes were nearly swollen shut and he could feel his cheeks puffing out in protest from the horrible beating he had sustained. His long black robe was stained with blood and dirt. He winced as he tried to sit.
"The beacon," he exclaimed suddenly, making his head spin. "I've got to warn Dumbledore." Blackness gathered around the edges of his vision as Romulus fought for consciousness. "Got to tell him about the child." As Romulus slowly passed back into oblivion he clung to his last thought, "I'm so sorry, Lily."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------
"It's not fair Siri!" James Potter exclaimed as he sat eating ice cream on his back porch with his best friend. "She's been here a month and Mom and Dad still claim she needs all their attention. And just cause she refuses to talk they think she's all traumatized and in need of special treatment."
"You sound jealous to me," Sirius Black sighed lazily, leaning back against the porch steps. His long black hair insisted in flopping over his mischievous brown eyes as he stretched his legs out and prepared for a snooze.
" I am NOT jealous!" James exclaimed. "What do I have to be jealous about? Just cause some no good girl shows up and all of a sudden my parents have no time for me and they're always talking about her and making plans for her and trying to take her places. That doesn't make me jealous."
"Course not Jamsie," Sirius muttered, half-awake. "I agree with you completely."
" You know, it's not enough that she takes over my parents, now they've decided that they're giving her my room! They think she might enjoy the view. The view! Have you ever heard anything that ridiculous? And did they even ask me before moving all my stuff into the guest room?"
His only answer was a loud snore from Sirius. "Some best friend you are," James muttered as he jumped up and stamped away off the porch.
Shortly after James left Lily slipped out of the back door of the house and settled into one of the deep rocking chairs that littered the deck. She had lost a considerable amount of weight since her ordeal, and deep bags were forming under her eyes due to lack of sleep. She barely ate anything, hardly ever slept and had not spoken a word since being removed from her parents. The Potters were near desperate with worry about her, Dumbledore had even visited twice to try and roust her from depression, but nothing worked. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Amy's broken body rising from the wreckage of the plane. At night, when she tried to sleep, Amy and the ragged form of Romulus Lupin rose up and pointed accusatory fingers at her. You could have saved us, they seemed to say. You saved yourself and let us die.
"No," Lily murmured. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Tears began to stream back down her cheeks as she remembered the dreams from the night before.
"Are you alright?" came a concerned voice from her feet.
Lily started, jumping clean out of her seat. She peered around anxiously, looking for the source of the voice. "Whose there?" she whispered, her voice cracked and weak from disuse.
"I'm down here," the voice answered. "I'm too lazy to get up, so you'll just have to look."
Lily peered nervously down over the top step of the porch and spied a boy stretched comfortably out, almost completely hidden by the large bushes surrounding the step. The boy yawned and closed his eyes.
"I asked if you were alright," he repeated.
Lily looked confused. "No, I'm not." She answered. No one in the house had ever asked her that question before, they had pampered her and treated her like an invalid since she'd first arrived. Maybe the boy just didn't know who she was. "I..I'm Lily Evans," she said, and when that statement didn't cause the immediate apology and sympathetic reaction she'd expected, she went on. "You know, I'm the one that.."
"Oh I know who you are," the boy answered with the same careless air. "I know all about you."
Lily felt a flash of her old temper. He knew who she was and still treated her with such disrespect? How dare he! "I don't think you have any right to ask me if I'm alright then, when you know perfectly well that I'm not!"
"Down girl," the boy grinned. "It just seems to me that you have no right not to be alright."
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked in genuine confusion. No one had talked to her like this in weeks. It was actually refreshing. Everyone else was so careful not to upset her, but this boy actually seemed to enjoy ruffling her feathers.
"Well, the way I hear it, a lot of people died so that you could live. You have a special power Lily, but you sure aren't going to do it any good just sitting around here moping. You think you're friend Amy and Rom Lupin would have wanted that? No way! I think you're doing their memory a disservice."
Lily stares at him in awe, "But they're dead," she muttered. "And I'm not. That's not fair."
"Life's not fair," he answered shortly. "My parents died in a car crash two years ago. They were fully trained wizards, both of them Aurors. The best of the best. And they were killed by some silly Muggle contraption. Was that fair? You just have to go with what life gives you, and stop regretting what you don't have." He sighed deeply. "Obviously I'm not going to get any more sleep out here, so if you'll excuse me, I think I'll head up to the sack."
Lily's mouth fluttered like a goldfish, unable to find anything to say. She stood dumbfounded as he sauntered into the house. The moment he was gone she slumpt down onto the deck floor. Was he right, she wondered, had she been selfish and unreasonable? Amy wouldn't have wanted her to be depressed, Amy loved life above anything else. Was it unfair to Amy's memory for Lily to stop living her life to its fullest because of guilt?
Wracked by these harsh new questions Lily curled herself up into a ball on the deck and began to rethink her future.
Romulus Lupin peered groggily around the confines of his cell. His eyes were nearly swollen shut and he could feel his cheeks puffing out in protest from the horrible beating he had sustained. His long black robe was stained with blood and dirt. He winced as he tried to sit.
"The beacon," he exclaimed suddenly, making his head spin. "I've got to warn Dumbledore." Blackness gathered around the edges of his vision as Romulus fought for consciousness. "Got to tell him about the child." As Romulus slowly passed back into oblivion he clung to his last thought, "I'm so sorry, Lily."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------
"It's not fair Siri!" James Potter exclaimed as he sat eating ice cream on his back porch with his best friend. "She's been here a month and Mom and Dad still claim she needs all their attention. And just cause she refuses to talk they think she's all traumatized and in need of special treatment."
"You sound jealous to me," Sirius Black sighed lazily, leaning back against the porch steps. His long black hair insisted in flopping over his mischievous brown eyes as he stretched his legs out and prepared for a snooze.
" I am NOT jealous!" James exclaimed. "What do I have to be jealous about? Just cause some no good girl shows up and all of a sudden my parents have no time for me and they're always talking about her and making plans for her and trying to take her places. That doesn't make me jealous."
"Course not Jamsie," Sirius muttered, half-awake. "I agree with you completely."
" You know, it's not enough that she takes over my parents, now they've decided that they're giving her my room! They think she might enjoy the view. The view! Have you ever heard anything that ridiculous? And did they even ask me before moving all my stuff into the guest room?"
His only answer was a loud snore from Sirius. "Some best friend you are," James muttered as he jumped up and stamped away off the porch.
Shortly after James left Lily slipped out of the back door of the house and settled into one of the deep rocking chairs that littered the deck. She had lost a considerable amount of weight since her ordeal, and deep bags were forming under her eyes due to lack of sleep. She barely ate anything, hardly ever slept and had not spoken a word since being removed from her parents. The Potters were near desperate with worry about her, Dumbledore had even visited twice to try and roust her from depression, but nothing worked. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Amy's broken body rising from the wreckage of the plane. At night, when she tried to sleep, Amy and the ragged form of Romulus Lupin rose up and pointed accusatory fingers at her. You could have saved us, they seemed to say. You saved yourself and let us die.
"No," Lily murmured. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Tears began to stream back down her cheeks as she remembered the dreams from the night before.
"Are you alright?" came a concerned voice from her feet.
Lily started, jumping clean out of her seat. She peered around anxiously, looking for the source of the voice. "Whose there?" she whispered, her voice cracked and weak from disuse.
"I'm down here," the voice answered. "I'm too lazy to get up, so you'll just have to look."
Lily peered nervously down over the top step of the porch and spied a boy stretched comfortably out, almost completely hidden by the large bushes surrounding the step. The boy yawned and closed his eyes.
"I asked if you were alright," he repeated.
Lily looked confused. "No, I'm not." She answered. No one in the house had ever asked her that question before, they had pampered her and treated her like an invalid since she'd first arrived. Maybe the boy just didn't know who she was. "I..I'm Lily Evans," she said, and when that statement didn't cause the immediate apology and sympathetic reaction she'd expected, she went on. "You know, I'm the one that.."
"Oh I know who you are," the boy answered with the same careless air. "I know all about you."
Lily felt a flash of her old temper. He knew who she was and still treated her with such disrespect? How dare he! "I don't think you have any right to ask me if I'm alright then, when you know perfectly well that I'm not!"
"Down girl," the boy grinned. "It just seems to me that you have no right not to be alright."
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked in genuine confusion. No one had talked to her like this in weeks. It was actually refreshing. Everyone else was so careful not to upset her, but this boy actually seemed to enjoy ruffling her feathers.
"Well, the way I hear it, a lot of people died so that you could live. You have a special power Lily, but you sure aren't going to do it any good just sitting around here moping. You think you're friend Amy and Rom Lupin would have wanted that? No way! I think you're doing their memory a disservice."
Lily stares at him in awe, "But they're dead," she muttered. "And I'm not. That's not fair."
"Life's not fair," he answered shortly. "My parents died in a car crash two years ago. They were fully trained wizards, both of them Aurors. The best of the best. And they were killed by some silly Muggle contraption. Was that fair? You just have to go with what life gives you, and stop regretting what you don't have." He sighed deeply. "Obviously I'm not going to get any more sleep out here, so if you'll excuse me, I think I'll head up to the sack."
Lily's mouth fluttered like a goldfish, unable to find anything to say. She stood dumbfounded as he sauntered into the house. The moment he was gone she slumpt down onto the deck floor. Was he right, she wondered, had she been selfish and unreasonable? Amy wouldn't have wanted her to be depressed, Amy loved life above anything else. Was it unfair to Amy's memory for Lily to stop living her life to its fullest because of guilt?
Wracked by these harsh new questions Lily curled herself up into a ball on the deck and began to rethink her future.
