Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.

Chapter 17: Normal

I dragged my luggage up the steps and stuck the key into the door. I put on a happy face expecting Susumu to come running out of his room to greet me, but the apartment was deathly silent. I left my bags by the door and walked around for any signs of life. All the lights were turned off. I walked into the kitchen spotting a growing pile of dirty dishes Susumu had left. The apartment had become extremely cluttered with clothes, papers, and miscellaneous items strewn across the floor. On the refrigerator there was a note from Susumu.

Oneesan, I'm going to spend the weekend at a friend's house. Be back Monday. Ja ne. -Susumu

I let out a deep sigh at the mess my brother had so kindly left for me. Finding nothing better to do I rolled up my sleeves and began to scrub the dried up scraps of food left on the plates in the sink. After a few hours, of mindless cleaning I finally go the apartment back to livable conditions. I laid on the floor and fell asleep with the mop still in my hand. I was only awakened later when my stomach growled in protest for some form of sustenance. I tried to go back to sleep ignoring my hunger, but the growling just got louder and louder becoming almost as loud as the thunder outside. So, I picked up my tired body and walked over to the refrigerator.

"Susumu!" I screamed. It was completely empty except for a few random lunch boxes.

Even though my brother appears to be responsible and mature, he could really be inconsiderate at times, too. I sifted through the mysterious boxes of leftovers that had probably sat in here from a week ago. After opening a box of what smelled and looked like god knows what, I dumped the rest of the contents of the fridge into the trash and decided to go out to buy dinner. It was already 11 at night and most places were probably closed for dinner by now. I threw on my coat and grabbed an umbrella. I ran through the streets to the closest convenience store.

I browsed through the racks of fatty snacks and instant ramen trying to decide what would be the least unhealthy for dinner. The store was crowded with a few other people running in from the rain looking for a quick fix to their late night hunger. I clutched the basket in my hand and continued strolling through the aisles.

"I wonder what's wrong with that guy outside? He looks really hurt. He didn't even respond when I asked him if he needed help" a girl whispered to her boyfriend.

"Who knows? What kind of guy sits outside during a storm like this? Forget about him and hurry up so we can go home" he replied to his girlfriend.

I couldn't help but hear this conversation. I glanced out the window and realized that the rain had picked up. The rain fell harder and harder creating a monsoon type environment. It seemed as if the rain was hitting you in all direction. I snapped out of my thoughts and just quickly threw a few things into my basket. I quickly paid the cashier and snatched my umbrella from the basket in the front door.

The automatic doors opened and I pulled my collar up looking up at the sky. It was complete chaos outside. I could barely see a few feet in front of me. I shrugged my shoulders and prepared to make my mad dash back to the apartment. I sprinted out, but with my bad luck I dropped my wallet into a puddle with a loud splash.

"Damn it!" As I turned around my umbrella was caught in the wind and flew out of my hand. I watched my poor umbrella flail through the street scraping against eh pavement being lost in the haze of rain. I let out an aggravated sigh and decided to salvage my wallet. I bent over to pick it up, but as I looked down at the ground another hand bent down at the same time. I saw the droplets of rain falling onto the ground, but mixed in between it was something red dripping down. I looked at the hand in front of me in shock. There was a small flow of blood slowly dripping off the fingers being washed away by the rain. I looked up at the face in front of me between the strands of hair that had plastered themselves to my face. Water was dripping off his face. It was that familiar face I had run away from once before.

"Haru."

"Being your usual clumsy self I see," he replied in a small voice. He looked into my face and let out a little smile. He picked up my wallet and handed it to back to me.

I stared at him in a state of confusion. He was completely drenched from head to toe. On his shoulder slung a large duffel bag that was also completely soaked from the storm. His face was cut and bruised up quite a bit. His lip was cracked and seemed to start becoming swollen. I reached up and touched his face causing him to flinch at my slightest touch. He was wearing black leather pants and a midnight blue dress shirt. He raised his sleeve up to his mouth and wiped away the crimson blood. His shirt was torn in places revealing a soaked wife beater underneath clinging to his frame. Although he was forcing a smile for me, I could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes.

"Why don't you go home?" I suggested. "I'll hail a cab for you". I stretched out my arm to stop an oncoming cab, but Haru pulled my arm back down to my side.

"Don't bother. I can't go back there. Ever."

I looked at the seriousness in his face. Something had definitely gone down. Just go, Tsukushi my head screamed. Leave him alone. Don't get yourself involved in something you don't know about. I turned around. "Fine, but I've got to get home then," I coldly replied. I started to walk away clutching my bag close to me.

My heart was what stopped me. A sense of guilt overwhelmed me. I couldn't bring myself to leave him. Not like this. Only for tonight. It'll just be one night. I turned around and ran after him.

"Wait!" I ran up to him and grabbed his free arm over my shoulder. "Come with me." He held onto me tightly leaning his weight against my shoulder. He was really weak. I was trying my best to support him and thankfully my apartment was only a few blocks away.

I unlocked the door and thrust it open. I released myself from Haru's grip and ran in with my bags leaving them on the kitchen counter. I quickly ran through the apartment gathering the things I needed. I threw the first aid kit onto the ground and placed the softest towel I could find into the warm water. I looked up in surprise to see Haru still standing in the doorway leaving a small puddle on my once dry floor. I got up and took his hand leading him to the living room to sit on the floor. He sat there shivering under those wet clothes. I walked into Susumu's room and tried to dig through his drawers for something he could borrow and finally decided on an old t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Here. You need to get out of those wet clothes. You can borrow these." I put the pile down next to him and walked into my room to get changed. I peeled off my wet, cold clothes and tossed them onto the floor. I changed into an oversized t-shirt and shorts. When I stepped back into the living room he was changed and sitting on the ground hunched over hugging his legs. His face was lowered and buried in his knees. I walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He raised his head up. I knelt down beside him and turned his face towards mine dabbing the cuts on his face with the moist towel. He flinched a little, but tried to make it seem like nothing was wrong.

"Can you tell me what happened?" I asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." He curtly replied.

"Well maybe I should call Jin or Fujio? They might be worried about you."

"No. Promise me you won't call them. I don't want them involved."

"Ok," I warily agreed.

I continued to clean up and bandage his face, while we remained in perfect silence. It didn't want to intrude in his personal business, and he would tell me if he wanted to. After I finished with him I walked into the kitchen and made two cups of noodles and some tea. I set the food in front of him and ate in silence while he looked away from me lost in his own world. He didn't seem to be hungry or feeling anything at the moment. Seeing as how it was already one in the morning I pulled out a comforter from my closet and left it beside him and went back to room.

"Good night." I turned off the lights and watched him for a moment sitting there with his back to me. It was completely pitch black in the room expect for those few brief moments when lightening would strike sending a beam of illumination into the room outlining his figure. I sighed and walked back into my room leaving the door open so I could see him from my futon. As I lay there watching him sit there unable to sleep I patiently waited for him to lay down and go to bed. It was only when he picked up the comforter and laid down on the floor was I able to close my eyes in relief.

As I faintly closed my eyes to drift off to sleep I could hear a faint whisper from the other room, "Good night, Tsukushi."

Around three in the morning I woke up from the sound of crashing thunder outside. I looked out the window and saw the dim glimmer of the street light fade out with a hiss. I pushed my comforter away and sat up to look out the window. All the lights were out and darkness consumed the streets. I sighed a little in relief that Haru was here with me. It was just one of those nights you were thankful you were not alone. I walked over to the doorway shivering wondering why the room had suddenly become so cold. I hit the switch to turn on the light, but there was nothing. The power must be out. The heater must be off too, I thought to myself. I grabbed the walls finding my way to the kitchen and pulled out a candle. I lit the match and a small faint flicker of light came forth. I slowly walked back into the living room covering the flame with my hand trying my best not to let it go out. I sat on knelt down on the floor and watching him repeatedly toss and turn. He pulled the t-shirt off and continued to roll around with his eyes closed. I inched a little further and touched his forehead with my hand. It was on fire. His face was turning red as cold beads of sweat dripped down his face. The rest of his body felt like ice.

"Shit!" I mumbled to myself. He must be coming down with pneumonia. I felt my heart stop for a moment in fear. I panicked trying to think of something to do. The first thing that came to mind was to call Fujio and Jin get them over here to help, but I couldn't. I already promised not to contact them. Suddenly an idea came to mind. I remembered what Doumyouji had done that time we went skiing and were trapped in the empty cabin. I was almost dying from pneumonia after being lost in the snow for a few hours. There was no other way than this to bring down his fever and keep him warm.

I placed the candle down next to me on the floor. Haru was lying on his side shaking in delirium. He probably won't remember any of this, I reassured myself. I looked towards the wall and pulled my shirt off over my head. The dancing of the flame on the candle reflected our shadows against the wall. I pulled the comforter up and slid my body in next to his. I pulled his chest closer to mine shivering at how cold and lifeless he felt, but soon I could feel his body beginning to thaw from the warmth of my body against his. Haru's face soon eased and he lay there peacefully sleeping. I lay there staring into his face wondering what a rough life he must have had growing up surrounded by the underground world of yakuza. Right now he slept peacefully with the face of an innocent child not the hardened mask he always wore. I smiled thinking to myself how beautiful he looked when he slept. Suddenly he shifted a little and wrapped his arms around my waist entwining his legs with mine. He had me pinned down in his hold unable to move. I tried to push him over to release myself since I had planned on getting up before he awoke, but now that didn't seem possible. I struggled, but gave up to just lay there. It oddly felt comforting to be in his arms. It was nice to feel someone else's warm body against my bare flesh. I didn't get that feeling of melting into his arms like Doumyouji. It wasn't event hat spine tingling sensation of being with Rui either. There was no sense of dread in accepting this embrace. With Doumyouji and Rui it was always a matter of choosing one friend over the other fearing the repercussion of destroying the relationship between two friends. I realized then why I could never allow myself to be with Rui. It would always be too complicated with him. I already had to bury those feelings I had for him so long ago. Why revive something I had tried so hard to forget in my heart? I had already hurt Doumyouji enough by leaving him, too.

All he had left was F4. Going to Rui would only take away his last oasis of comfort-his friends. Having Haru's arms around me just felt right at the moment. He gave me a sense of the past being completely erased from my memory. It was all so uncomplicated. All I had to do now was live in the present moment. I closed my eyes and thinking maybe this was the way things were supposed to be. Fate had given me this perfect feeling. Maybe it would just be a temporal feeling, but I savored every second there in his arms. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep thinking to myself, it would be alright to be like this. Just for tonight.

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I woke up feeling a warm pair of arms still wrapped around my waist. I sleepily opened my eyes in confusion. At first I had an intense sense of shock, but soon realized where I was. I opened my eyes wider and stared into that sweet face in front of me. He was sleeping peacefully. I could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest and his breathing was no longer heavy. I pulled my hand up from under the sheets and put my hand up to his forehead. It felt cool and I sighed in relief that his fever had broken.

I knew I shouldn't have been so selfish, but I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to be in his arms for just a little longer. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but some mistakes we are failed to repeat over and over again. I leaned my face in closer to his and carefully pressed my lips against his thinking I could just steal a kiss without any consequences.

His eyes opened and I quickly pulled myself out of our kiss. There was a look of confusion written all over him. He looked under the sheet and caught a glimpse of my bra and the bare soft porcelain skin of my stomach against his. His legs were wrapped around mine. He blushed in embarrassment.

I jumped up and grabbed my shirt wrapping it around my upper body to save him from any further embarrassment. "You came down with pneumonia last night and the power went out shutting off the heater. I was so scared that you would die. It was the only way I could think of keeping you warm," I nervously explained. I ran into my bedroom to put on my shirt only to find him sitting upright on the floor with the comforter covering his waist down. His chest was exposed and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of lust in my eyes.

"Sit down." He patted the space next to him and I obediently plopped myself to the ground. We sat there in awkward silence both wondering what to say about that kiss. It was one thing to spend the night with him to lower his fever, but it was another to kiss him the next morning. 'Thank you."

I uneasily shifted myself a little farther away from him in an attempt to distance myself before my primal urges overtook me. "Your welcome." I sat there wringing my hands trying to find some distraction to escape the awkwardness. It seemed like I always got myself into situation like this. It was the same path always. Fall for the mysterious boy with a dark past.

"Tsukushi."

"Yes," I answered dreading what he was going to say.

"Have you thought about what I asked you earlier? My feelings haven't changed."

I wondered to myself if this was the right thing to do. Could I really escape the past and start fresh with Haru. Was it really that simple to let go of the past? He could give me everything I needed. Trust. Understanding. Love. I wasn't even sure how much I loved him and in what way. All I wanted to do was to feel whole again. I lifted up his hand and slowly traced the word with my finger in his palm. "Yes."

Haru's eyes lit up like I have never seen before. He scooped me up in his arms and swung me around the room smiling. Feeling dizzy I tapped on his arm to stop. We stood there staring into each other's eyes. He lowered his head a little while I stood up on tiptoes. Our lips found each other and he passionately kissed me easing away all my memories of Doumyouji and Rui.

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We walked down the sidewalk hand in hand approaching the gates of Eitoku. There we were walking hand in hand wearing our school uniforms. From one point of view we looked like any high school couple walking together. It was a strange feeling to be holding his hand out in the open. I couldn't help but care about the looks from the other girls who saw us together. I could see the look of rage in their eyes at having taken the mysterious enigma, Haru off the market. However, others were giddy over the prospects of the proof that Doumyouji was free from my grasps. The plotting looks in their eyes were enough to see they had their sights on the bigger prize.

I looked ahead and noticed Fujio and Jin worriedly pacing back and forth. They looked like wrecks. I started to walk a little faster, but Haru pulled my hand back.

"I'm not ready to see them yet. I'll see you later." He flashed me a cheeky smile and gave mea quick peck on the cheek. Before I could say anything he jumped up and climbed over the large stone wall that guarded Eitoku's grounds.

I shrugged my shoulders not questioning his strange ways and continued to walk towards the entrance. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened between those three.

"Where is he?! You think he would have had the decency to come tell us what happened. I would think he would come to us. I can't believe he would just leave like that!" Jin screamed in Chinese.

Fujio twirled his glasses in his hand. "Don't worry he's bound to show up sooner or later. He's always like this disappearing, but u can't help but feel a little worried this time. It's serious. I didn't think he would come back to get him."

The two continued their conversation thinking they were safe from anyone who could understand. Little did they now I understood every single word passing between them. I hurriedly walked past them unnoticed since they seemed too preoccupied in looking for Haru. Could they be talking about what a happened last night?

I went through my morning classes occasionally glancing towards the empty seats where Fujio, Jin and Haru usually sat. I pondered over how strange it was that Haru had packed all his books, uniform, and a few sets of clothes into his bag that he was carrying. Who and what could he be running from now?

When classes finally ended I aimlessly wandered outside hoping maybe I would find Haru. I needed to know the truth. If we were to be anything I needed to know what was going on. My answer came rather unexpectedly when I heard a heated argument going on from beneath me. I leaned over the side of the bridge over the gardens and found Hana, Haru, Fujio and Jin arguing back in forth in Chinese.

"Where were you?! Do you know how worried I've been!" Hana screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Yeah.Fujio and I had to run all over Tokyo looking for you. Then we find you taking a nap out here. Where did you go last night?"

Fujio was standing there nodding his head in agreement with the others, but spoke up in his usual calm voice. "We all knew he would come back one day and find us. It's not that easy to leave the family. No matter how much you try to delude yourself you can't deny your blood."

"You shouldn't have picked a fight with him. You know how difficult he can be, but he would have listened to you if you hadn't picked a fight with him."

"I don't understand why you always stand up for that man! He is everything that mother hated. Just look at what he did to me, his own son. You saw him send his lackeys after me and this is how he wanted to bring me back. Dead or alive! He can't make me go back!" Haru screamed in frustration.

Hana became very solemn. "He's still our father. I can't deny the man who is responsible for giving me life."

"Life?" Haru bitterly laughed. "What type of life is this? Always watching your back from the law and our enemies. Everyone wants us dead. He could care less if his children were killed even if it were by his own hands."

"Come home. If I talk to him he'll forget about what happened."

"No. Tell him he has no son." Haru walked off. Hana, Fujio, and Jin stood there huddled in conversation.

"He's not going to be pleased with us at all," Hana sighed to herself.

Father. The words rang through my head like an alarm. His father did this to him. I remembered Haru describing his father as shrewd "businessman", but I never would have expected anyone to treat their family this way. I made a dash for it and followed Haru to wherever he was going. I silently pushed the door open with a creak and found him hunched over the piano playing madly slamming down the keys in discordance. He looked up and dropped his hands down to his side. I sat down beside him and rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hair and began to play a slow, melancholy song.

"Your father did this to you, didn't he?" I spoke up. His hands stopped and the room went dead.

"How did you know?" Haru asked in an annoyed voice.

"I overheard you talking to the others earlier," I replied in perfect Chinese.

"You understand Chinese?" he asked in shock.

"I have my secrets as well," I laughed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I need to know what happened. I can see it's killing you inside."

Haru let out a heavy sigh and rested his chin on my head. "My father came back from Hong Kong yesterday. He had a job for me that I outright refused. I won't do his dirty work anymore." He clenched his fists fighting off the urge to punch something. "When I refused he sent his men after me to drag me back to the manor. I fought them all off as best as I could, but there were too many of them. Hana saw me run out of the house with my things. She has no idea of the things my father does. She's always been kept in the dark about these missions. She's his perfect China doll. She's never been allowed to go on our missions. It's always been Fujio, Jin and I to take care of everything. She can't fathom the things we have done. All the sins we must atone to." He looked down into my face and smiled. "I wonder sometimes what I ever did to deserve you."

I leaned my face against his shoulder. "So do I," I laughed.

"Come with me." He grabbed my hand and pulled me from my seat running.

"Where are we going?!" I yelled as he dragged me through the door. "I still have class to go to!"

"It's a surprise! We can't waste a beautiful day like today," he secretly whispered into my ear pushing me forward from behind.

We walked hand in hand without a care in the world laughing. For once in a long time there would be no drama in my life. We were young and nothing could stop us. As we walked out the gates I noticed a car passing us by. He stared right at me glaring at me in confusion and rage.

"Doumyouji."

"Did you say something?" Haru asked.

"No, nothing." I smiled.

Haru pulled me onto a bus. A bus of all things to ride. Not a Porsche. No limos. A simple bus. We stood there a few stops before he pulled me out. We stood in the middle of the busy downtown. He looked to his left and his right and dragged me towards a dark building. He pulled out two baseball caps from his pocket and plopped one on his head and another on mine.

"We've gotta remain incognito. Don't want to be caught being truant, do we? Close your eyes," he ordered.

"Mm hmm." I cheerily nodded. I felt his arm around mine pulling me into the building. I could hear strange electronic sounds around me.

"Open them," he whispered.

I opened my eyes and burst out laughing. "An arcade! I would have never thought you would be into this kind of thing. I haven't been in a place like this since I was in elementary school. The big bad yakuza leader playing video games." I giggled. I looked around and noticed how empty the place was except for a few high school dropouts and some junior high school kids pretending to be punks.

He looked at me with a childish puppy dog face. "Hey, don't laugh. I used to spend most of the old days cutting school in arcades. Even Hana, Fujio, and Jin don't know I come to places like this. Come one. You're just scared that I'll kick your butt."

"No you won't!" I pouted.

He pulled me towards the dance dance revolution machine and smiled mischievously. "Wanna play?"

I jumped on the machine and he threw the coins in starting up. The arrows starting flying across the scream as I wildly jumped around trying to keep up with the song. The machine kept hackling me screaming out "Watch out" or "Come on get with it". It was only when the large words "Failed" shot up onto the screen did I stop jumping around. "Argh!"

Haru pushed me aside and inserted another few coins. I watched him eyeing through the selection of songs before stopping at the expert level one.

"Watch a pro!"

The music started and he hit the steps perfectly showing off by turning around to face me not looking at the screen. It was amazing how he had memorized all the moves perfectly. I wondered to myself how many days had he spent like this. I saw the gleeful look spreading over his face as he mastered every move. He was happy and it was a side I could never have imagined he had.

After a few hours of Haru kicking my butt in basically everything in the arcade we decided to go out and see the light of day. When we stepped out of the dark arcade my eyes hurt at the bright shining of light into them. We aimlessly walked through the streets stopping in front of the store windows to just admire the displays.

I was enjoying myself so much I completely lost track of the time.

"Oh my god! It's already 3:30!" I screamed looking down at my watch.

"Why?! What's the matter?" Haru stopped walking and turned around to look at me.

"I've got to go to work!" I let go of his hand and started to run wildly through the street. I only stopped to look to the side when I felt Haru's warm hand grab mine.

"Hurry up if you want to make it in time!" he yelled.

I kept running and running thinking to myself what a bit difference there was with Haru. If it were Doumyouji he would have just yelled at me about how annoying poor people were and telling met o just not show up. Haru understood the real world. People had jobs and had to work to earn a living.

As we made it in front of the dango shop with only a few seconds to spare we came to a halting stop. We were both completely out of breath. I looked through the glass window at a few pairs of wide eyes. Inside stood Yuki behind the counter, but in front of her stood Akira, Soujiro and Rui. I glanced up at Haru suddenly feeling a little self conscious about revealing our new relationship, but it was too late. He bent down and planted a fierce kiss on my lips leaving me standing there in a daze.

"I'll see you later," he smiled before running off waving his hand.

I nonchalantly walked to the back room ignoring all those open mouths and got changed ready to start my shift. When I came back out I stepped behind the counter next to Yuki and began to fold boxes with a huge grin on my face.

Rui turned away and sulkily walked out the door. Akira and Soujiro ran after him leaving only Yuki and I.

"Tsukushi."

"Yeah."

"Who was that guy you were with?"

"Oh, my boyfriend, Haru," I smiled to myself. It felt right to call him that. My boyfriend.

"You're what?! When and how did that happen?!" Yuki screamed in amazement.

"It's a long story," I laughed walking away leaving Yuki still frozen in shock. "We should get to work. There are customers waiting."

When we were getting ready to close the shop for the night Yuki pried all the details out of me about Haru, except for a few of the major secrets about him. Primarily his past in the yakuza.

"Wow! He sounds like a really nice guy. Although I'm a little worried that you might be moving a little too fast. I mean you just broke up with Doumyouji. But I can see how happy Haru makes you. I guess that is all that matters, right?" Yuki nodded her head and looked dreamily out the window. "I hope you can introduce me to him one day."

"Of course! I think you would like him too." I was glowing. Nothing could take me down from my euphoric high.

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I stepped out of the shop waving good bye to Yuki for the night. I looked up in the sky and saw small little flakes begin to fall. I jacket collar up huddling to keep warm. I skipped all the way home thinking about my day with Haru. There was just a stupid smile on my face that wouldn't go away. Isn't this everything I wanted? What was this new relationship we had? Why was I happier now than I ever was with Doumyouji or Rui? Maybe because our date was nothing like any one I ever had with them. It was normal.