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absolutely positively nothing.
Chapter 21: Family business
I walked besides Haru with his hand firmly clasped over mine. I could sense the angry glares on me. The school was abuzz with the proof that Haru and I were now an item. Perhaps it was relief they felt that now Doumyouji was free from my grasps and he was a free for all. On the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised they were all shocked and bewildered why Haru would have chosen to be with me of all people. I had managed to somehow capture the mysterious bachelor of the school. No girl had even managed to get him to acknowledge their existence in school unless it was his sister.
"Tsukushi!" Shigeru yelled from across the room. Her mouth dropped to the floor and she looked towards Doumyouji who did not look up in utter confusion. Akira and Soujiro shifted uneasily in their seats waiting for the show to begin.
I pulled Haru towards their table. I had to be at least civil and polite. Shizuka, who was locked in a private conversation with Rui, looked up and smiled. I stared down at Rui feeling that urge of anger rise within me once again. He had once again taken his familiar place beside her. I looked away and directed my attention back towards the others at the table.
"Yo Tsukushi," Doumyouji shyly said.
"Hello." I came up with the first thing that came into my mind and blurted it out, "I guess you're all surprised that Shizuka is back."
Rui bowed his head down low in shame avoiding me.
"Ummm.Of course we are!" Akira cheerily yelled gripping onto his drink. He seemed to be acting a little more happy than usual trying to cover up the awkwardness.
"We were just talking about having a little celebration party for Shizuka's return. We're meeting at Club X at 7.Why don't you come along?" Soujiro asked without thinking.
I could see Akira kick him from beneath the table at the sound of his faux pas. I weakly smiled not wanting to make the situation any worse.
"I was hoping to catch up with all the news about you. So much has seemed to change since I got back. Even my Rui," Shizuka laughed. She eyed Haru who stood next to me in silence.
I was trapped. I couldn't say no to her like I wish I could have. I was weak when it came to Shizuka's coaxing. "Sure, I'll be there," I choked out.
I refrained from losing control wanting to kill Soujiro. "Oh, I'm forgetting my manners. Shizuka, this is my boyfriend Tse Hatsuhara. Haru this is Todou Shizuka."
Haru bowed politely towards the elegant lady. "Nice to meet you. Please just call me Haru."
Shizuka looked towards Doumyouji with pity being left out of the loop about our break up. "Nice to meet you, Haru."
"Your boyfriend?! What about." Shigeru stopped in mid sentence at the realization of what was going on. Her head kept turning from Doumyouji to me trying to comprehend what had happened and why she had been left in the dark about it all.
Soujiro wanting to make up for his last mistake grabbed Shigeru from behind cupping her mouth before she said anything else. Akira was patting Doumyouji's shoulder trying to calm him down before he exploded. I could see that vein in his forehead exploding holding back the urge to start going on a rampage. It was bad enough to have Shigeru put salt on that wound. He shrugged off Akira's comforting hand and walked off sulkily.
"Shigeru! Akira and I would like to talk to you over there." Soujiro and Akira picked her up from her seat and dragged her off. It took two playboys to drag her off, but they managed to overpower her. "We'll see you guys later."
Now it was just Rui and Shizuka sitting there. She placed her hand over Rui's allowing tehri fingers to entwine. Strangely I began to feel uneasy by this.
"Ummm. I'm sorry, but we have the others waiting for us," Haru spoke up. "It was very nice to meet you Todousan." He gripped my hand a little tighter in reassurance. He pulled me away from the table forcing my legs to regain their function.
"Thank you," I whispered to Haru feeling extremely grateful for him to be by my side when I needed him the most.
"What else is a boyfriend for?" he laughed. He kissed me on the top of my head and led me towards the table where Jin, Fujio and Hana sat.
Jin was toying around with his phone half listening to the person on the other line, which was probably just another one of his conquests. Hana was deeply engrossed in conversation with Fujio capturing his complete attention.
As soon as we sat down Jin curtly cut off the conversation on the other line with a push of the button. "Well I see the two lovebirds are here?"
I blushed at his comment. Although I had been in a relationship with Doumyouji for so long and Haru and I had seen more of each other than most new couples do, I still couldn't help but feel shy about being in a relationship with someone.
"Kushi!" Kazuya called out from across the room. He looked at me in bewilderment wondering why I wasn't sitting with F4. He had no clue what was going on. Timidly he approached our table. "I just got back from taking care of my father's business. Why aren't you sitting with F4 like usual?"
"That's because she's sitting with her boyfriend," Jin snidely commented. His lax face transformed completely. It was now cool and composed daringly staring right through the boy in front of him. "Who are you anyway?"
Kazuya cowered away frightened by the very threatening looking Jin.
"This is my old friend, Kazuya. Kazuya this is my boyfriend Haru. This is Hana, Fujio and Jin." I pointed out.
"You can sit with us if you want?" Fujio kindly invited Kazuya. I glanced up at Fujio gratefully. He pointed at the seat besides him and Kazuya sat himself down in awe of this new group of people.
"You must be the new students that everyone was talking about," Kazuya bluntly blurted out. "Wow! You are way cooler and nicer than F4 is!" His eyes glazed over being awestruck to sit at the table of the mysterious new group of students at Eitoku.
"Hey oneesan!" Susumu plopped himself down in the empty seat between Hana and me. "I thought I might sit with you today."
"Susumu? Wouldn't you rather be sitting with your friends?" I questioningly looked at him.
"Naw. The views much better here." He turned towards Hana who briefly looked up and smiled at him before diverting her attention to start a conversation with Jin. "Hello Hana," Susumu flashed one of his infamous charming smiles, but to no avail did she lose her concentration on the conversation she was having with Jin.
I watched Kazuya talking Fujio's ear off while he politely nodded and answered every asinine question he asked. It was slightly amusing watching my brother making futile attempts to get Hana's attention. My smooth brother couldn't manage to get her attention. In frustration and defeat he leaned back in his chair and decided to join the conversation between Fujio and Kazuya.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Haru pulled his cellphone from his pocket and glancing at the screen. He let out a heavy sigh and tucked it away. "I've got to go," he whispered to me as I happily munched on my food. I heard that tone of seriousness and urgency in his voice knowing that it could not be good whoever it was that called.
"We have to go. There's a car waiting for us outside." he commanded Fujio and Jin.
They looked up at the sudden change in Haru's attitude. They nodded their heads in complete understanding of the situation. Hana skeptically looked up at Haru's orders.
"He wants only us," he flatly stated looking at Hana.
She slumped down in her seat looking very disturbed by this. Angrily she shoved the chair away from the table with a loud scratching sound of the chair being dragged against the ground. In cold silence, she stalked off without a word.
"We'll go first."
Jin and Fujio gravely walked away whispering to the other.
Haru turned towards me. Worry was all over my face. Something bad was coming and I could feel it. His face changed back to the old, familiar face I had become so used to seeing.
"Can you come with me for a second?"
I got up from my seat and followed him outside. The sky was dark for early in the afternoon. Small delicate snowflakes began to fall from above hitting my eyelashes. We stopped near the front gates before Haru grabbed me to the side shielding me from the view of something.
"My father wants to see me. I need to take care of some family business. He must still be angry about that argument we had."
"I don't like the sound of that. Remember what he tried to do you last time."
"Don't worry. Nothing will happen to me. Fujio and Jin will be there. I'll pick you up at 6 to go to the club. Promise." He smiled. It was that smile he had only for me. For some reason I found reassurance in his gesture that he would come back to me in one piece.
"Haru."
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard easing all the worries away. He buried his face into my hair before pulling away abruptly. "Ja ne!" he yelled over his shoulder as he made a full sprint out towards the gates.
I ran forward trying to grab onto him before he left, but he was already long gone. I stood shivering in the cold trying to remember the comfort of his arms. I shrugged off the worries, but before turning back I glanced back for a moment and watched Haru disappear into a waiting black Mercedes. As the car sped off past the gates I noticed the window was opened. Besides Haru sat a stern, older looking male. The expression on his face sent shivers down my spine. It had to be him. There was that familiar cold, icy look in his eyes. It was his father. The man turned to look out the window and his gaze met mine for a brief moment before turning back towards Haru. It is a look I will never forget.
******************
I ran home after work to get ready for the party later that night. It was already 6:00 and I frantically scrambled to find something to wear. I knew I was just obsessing over every article of clothing while taking every few seconds to glance at the clock hoping to hear Haru at the door. I finally just chose a short tan skirt and soft white sweater. I paced around the room waiting for him.
6:15
6:30
6:45
By that time I was going insane wondering where he was. I was cursing him under my breath for lying to me.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
I grabbed my cellphone and looked down at the screen praying that it was Haru just calling to tell me he was going to be late. I was sadly disappointed when all I saw was a text message.
"Tsukushi, Going to be late. I'll meet you at the club later. -Haru"
I reassured myself that nothing was wrong and tucked the phone back into my purse. It was now 7:00 and the others were probably waiting for me to arrive. Halfheartedly I walked out the door to the club wondering what could have kept him.
***************
In a bad mood, I walked through the doors of the club looking around for F4, Shizuka and Shigeru.
"Tsukushi! Over here!" Yuki yelled from across the room straining her voice to be heard over the loud music.
I looked at their table feeling a little relieved that Yuki was there. Akira was already at the bar surrounded by the growing numbers of women flocking to him. Out on the dance floor Shigeru wildly danced with some random guy. Soujiro had his arm wrapped around Yuki whispering into her ear. Shizuka was saying something to Rui, but he seemed to not be listening to a word she said. He looked up at me with a glint excitement in his eyes. I kept my face dead to him and could see the disappointment in him. Doumyouji just sat there nursing his beer admiring the scenery around him. I walked over and decided to sit farthest out of the table so if I needed I could make a fast get away. This meant that I was stuck sitting next to Doumyouji, which I guess good enough since it was relatively far away from Rui.
"Where's your boyfriend?" Shizuka innocently asked striking a chord within me.
I put on a fake smile. "He said he'll be a little late."
"What kind of man let's his girlfriend go out to a club alone," Doumyouji muttered under his breath.
I slumped back in my seat wondering the same question myself. The smile on my face faded away. Doumyouji looked towards me and saw the effect of his words.
"Sorry," he whispered to me.
"No. It's not your fault," I whispered back with a faint smile.
"Well I hope he comes. I was hoping to meet Haru tonight. He'll come," Yuki said from across the table trying to comfort me.
I sat there watching everyone else enjoy themselves repeatedly glancing down at my watch waiting for Haru to appear through those doors, but it was never him. Finally, I resigned to the fact he would not come. Only Doumyouji sat beside me in silence. From beneath the table he reached over and grabbed my hand, He gave it a little squeeze trying to make me feel better at being stood up.
Suddenly from behind me I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I quickly released his hand. I spun around thinking Haru would be standing behind me with a smile on his face telling me that everything was fine.
"Hana?"
"Hello Tsukushi. Haru called me telling me to pass on the message that he couldn't make it. So, he sent me in his place to keep you company. I thought we might get to know each other better."
"Is everything okay?" I asked.
In a nonchalant way she replied, "Oh it's just family business."
Hana took one of the seats besides me pushing enclosing me into the table's inner circle. I cautiously eyed her wondering if she was the least worried about her brother's whereabouts. She always seemed to have some invisible guard up deflecting any outsiders from encroaching upon her private world.
"Hello," she politely greeted everyone at the table. "Nice to meet you. My name is Tse Hana. I'm Haru's little sister.
"Hello," everyone else replied nodding their heads.
I snapped out of my thoughts forcing myself to return from my dreamlike state. Everyone introduced themselves to Hana and they all seemed to like her. It was hard not to notice all the added attention she brought to our table. She was decked out in a short, tight black mini skirt and fiery red camisole covered by a transparent black sweater. Her eyelids were smeared a smoky grey and her lips a ruby red to match the red streaks running down her hair. Her hair was let down completely loose reaching down to her waist like a flowing river. She had that similar confidence to Haru, but she oozed feminine mystique drawing the gazes of many of the men towards her. You could tell she held the power.
"I don't think we've met before?" Akira smiled as he approached our table with his eyes dead set on Hana.
"You must be infamous Mimasaka Akira?" she coyly replied playing into his little game of cat and mouse. She innocently batted her eyelashes. It was a little unclear who was the cat and who was the mouse, though.
"I don't think it's very fair that I don't know you're name yet."
"I'm Hana."
"Hey Akira don't try anything with her!" I threateningly glared at him. "She's Haru's sister."
Akira just glanced at me for a second before turning his attention back towards Hana. "I was just going to ask her for a dance?" Akira innocently whined putting out his hand to take hers. He shot me a wink, which showed me no indication of whether or not he was serious about remaining a gentleman.
Hana took his hand and before I could say anything they were already out on the dance floor disappearing amongst the crowds of people swaying back and forth.
"Looks like Akira has found a new playmate!" Soujiro laughed.
Something inside of me told me not to worry. I smiled a little to myself knowing I was probably one of the only people in this world that knew what Hana was capable. She could snap that playboy in half like a twig. "Oh, something tells me that Hana can take care of herself."
"Whew! I'm tired from all that dancing!" Shigeru took the empty seat beside me once occupied by Hana. She looked around the table and noticed the tension in the air. She leaned in closer to me and whispered, "Akira and Soujiro filled me in on what was happening? I thought we were friends? You know you can tell me anything. I'm sorry about opening my big mouth before"
I turned to Shigeru feeling a sudden loss of words. "Sorry," I whispered back. "It's not you're fault."
"Well since it's party let's all have a drink!" Akira yelled pulling out a bottle of champagne. Hana's hands were full of glasses while Akira furiously shook the bottle to flick the cork off with a loud POP! "Let's party!"
Hana passed the glasses around. I reached out to grab one of the bubbling glasses feeling the urge to dull my disappointment away.
"Cheers!"
I gulped the sour liquid feeling it tingle down my throat. I noticed everyone look around in surprise seeing how I gulped the entire glass down in one swig. I slapped the glass to the table and started to feel the buzz. I knew I couldn't handle any liquor, but hey what better way to ease the pain.
"So Shizuka how long will you be staying in Japan?" I blurted out losing any sense of feeling in my brain.
"Just as long as it takes to get Rui to come back to me," Shizuka seductively whispered into Rui's ear. He made no attempt to push away her advances, but just accepted them.
I couldn't help, but feel a little perturbed by what she said. I glared at Rui thinking how dare he play me for a fool all this time. It didn't seem like Shizuka had fallen out of love with him one bit. Who the hell did he think he was to play me for a fool?!
Hana nudged me to sit upright after slumping a little over onto her.
I poured another glass of champagne and throwing it back into my mouth feeling the foam rise up in my mouth. By this time I was starting to get the hang of swallowing the champagne and it lost all of its unattractive taste. I stared at Rui and Shizuka feeling completely disgusted by the sight of them together. I didn't care. I had a boyfriend who loved me, It's just he couldn't be here right now. I grabbed Doumyouji's hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor. "I feel like dancing?" I stumbled my way onto the dance floor swaying along with the music and bobbing my head around to a rhythm that wasn't there. The waitresses passed us by holding trays of exotic liquids and I wanted to try them all. I grabbed two glasses and poured them down my throat tasting the sweet fruit juices mixed laced with vodka or rum. I started dancing wildly to the music feeling my entire body begin to overheat. My entire face was turning red and the room was beginning to spin. I tugged on my sweater pulling it over my head revealing the thin camisole I had on underneath. I madly giggled throwing the sweater into the crowd as they cheered.
"Tsukushi! What are you doing?!" he grabbed the jacket off some random guy on the dance floor and draped it over me covering my exposed body. "Please don't do this to yourself?" he whispered into my ear. He pulled me into him.
My mind couldn't process what was going on. His warm soft lips pressed firmly against mine. At that moment I didn't care if I was kissing Doumyouji. I just wanted him to take away all the confusion I was feeling. I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by desire for him feeling that old lust for him resurrect itself in me. But then an image of Haru came into my mind and I was immersed back into reality. I slapped him with all my might feeling the surge of pain through my hand upon contact with his face. "You have no right to do that?!" I pushed him away from me. "I'm having fun! Isn't that what we do when we have a party?!" I slurred. I wrestled my way through the crowd letting the jacket slip off my shoulders. "I don't need you to tell me what I can and can not do! I'm not your girlfriend anymore!"
He reached for my arm, and I struggled to push him away. I managed to escape from him through the crowd finding myself grabbing drinks left and right out of the hands of flirting men swigging it down as if it was water. That was all it was to me now, water. Somehow I managed to stumble my way back to the table where a silent Doumyouji and Rui sat solemnly. Everyone else was pretty much hammered at this point and we were all madly laughing our heads off at jokes that made no sense. I watched Shizuka as she lethargically rested her head against Rui's shoulder. Shigeru was all over Doumyouji draping herself all over him trying her best to make advances upon him. Soujiro was coaxing Yuki into just having one more drink. Akira and Hana seemed to be going at it playing a drinking game.
I reached forward to grab a glass of whatever it was on the table feeling a sudden undeniable thirst, but two hands pushed the glass away from me.
"I think you've had enough," Rui and Doumyouji both said in unison.
I glared at them feeling extremely spiteful that they would deny me a drink. I could handle myself. " Fine. I'm going to the bathroom then." I stood up and gripped the table to balance myself. I saw the look of concern spread over there faces wondering if I would pass out on the way there.
"Tsukushi?" a voice called from beside me. "I'll go with you" Hana volunteered. She grabbed my arm and put it over her shoulder to help me get up and reach the ladies room.
At this point I could barely maintain my balance. I tried to fight to get up, but I lost all the feeling in my legs. Everything was just so blurry. I thrust myself into the ladies room feeling crawling to the porcelain bowl. I never thought so much could come out of a person, but to my surprise I threw up like nobody's business. I felt like I was going to die. When I finally finished retching I looked up at Hana who kindly held back my hair for me. I sat back against he wall feeling all the energy drained out of me while Hana walked away for a few moments. She pulled me from the ground and led me to one of the private rooms laying me down on the couch that reeked of cigarette smoke and booze. Gently she placed a cool towel on my head soothing my pounding head.
"Feel any better?" she asked in a low voice.
I cringed feeling like her voice was a thousand times louder than it really was. "Thank you."
"This has nothing to do with Haru not showing up does it? It's those two, isn't it?" she asked.
Oh god, I thought to myself. She had seen everything. My reaction to Rui and Shizuka together. Doumyouji kissing me on the dance floor. "Yes," I weakly replied. "Don't misunderstand. I love Haru, but Doumyouji, Rui and I have a long history. I can't just forget about all that" breaking down uncontrollably into sobs.
"Shh.it's ok. I know you love my brother and I trust you will make him happy," she whispered stroking away the loose strands of hair that fell over my hands. "I won't say anything to him."
I looked up at her angelic face so full of the same features I had noticed in Haru. She had the same compassion in her eyes he always gave me. "Thank you."
"Let's just promise to not talk about this night ever again," she laughed.
As I felt the drunkenness taking over once again I fell asleep in her arms cradling my limp body.
*********
I awoke the next morning with a earth shattering pounding sensation in my head. The rays of the sunlight were slowly crawling against the floor reaching closer and closer to my face. I opened my eyes wide to see where I was in a panic. The last thing I remembered was being in the club last night with Hana. I looked down realizing I was still wearing the same clothes from the night before. I scanned the room and sighed in relief realizing I had somehow made it home. I crawled back into my sheets thinking to myself that I needed to skip school today. I laughed to myself a little thinking of how everyone else was probably waking up right now regretting their actions last night with the constant reminder of a hang over.
"Oneesan." Susumu whispered from the doorway.
"Not so loud!" I moaned in pain.
He knelt down beside me and pulled the covers off my face t take a good look at the wreck from the night before. "You look like shit!" he laughed.
"Thanks," I muttered in annoyance at his early morning cheerfulness. "Remind me to kill you for that comment the moment the room stops spinning. How did I get home last night?"
"I think you stumbled in around 4 last night. Hana dropped you off in her car and woke me up to take care of you before running off. She looked like she was in a hurry to get somewhere."
I closed my eyes that lump that was rising in my throat. Thank god Hana took me home and not Doumyouji or Rui. I vaguely remembered half of what happened the night before, but it was better to have Hana listen to my drunken mutterings than either of those two. God knows what I said the night before.
"Well I've got to get to school, now. You stay here and get some rest. I don't think you should go out in public looking like that. I'll see you when I get home."
Susumu tucked me back into my sheets and quietly tiptoed out of the room attempting to not make a sound, but I could hear every little creak in the floorboard sending railing pains through my skull. I closed my eyes and let myself escape this unbearable pain to a better place in dream land.
I woke up a few hours later feeling a little bit better. I rolled over onto my side to stretch out my body and found the shock of my life.
"Haru! How did you get in here?" I gasped.
He sat against the wall in a black suit with is head tucked between his knees. For some odd reason he looked just about how I felt. Tired. Depressed. Confused. He looked up and pointed to the window, which was now open.
"I snuck in through the window. From the looks of you, last night must have been pretty rough."
I felt a surge of guilt run over me remembering the jealousy and anger I had let take over me last night. "Yeah I guess I drank just a little too much," I laughed.
He crawled across the floor and laid himself down beside me in the futon. "I wish I could spend every day with you like this,' he mumbled.
I was taken aback by his words wondering why he would suddenly say something like that to me. I reached my hand to his face and gently pushed the hair out of his eyes. "Where were you last night?"
"Sorry. It took a little longer than I expected to deal with my father. He's a stubborn man, but I think we've come to an agreement. I got caught up doing some errands for him."
"Oh," I stopped myself from asking any further questions sensing that it was something I should not ask about for fear of finding out the truth. Sometimes it was just better to be left in the dark. Ignorance is bliss, right?
Haru let out a tired, heavy sigh. I looked at is wrinkled black suit. He was adorned in complete black. He didn't bother to take off the long trench coat either. His face was worn and revealed the lack of sleep he had gotten the night before. Dark circles formed under his eyes. As he lay there peacefully with his eyes looking into mine I felt myself becoming utterly lost in his gaze wondering if in his past had it always been like this, disappearing into the dark underground only to reemerge sometime in the day to face the reality of it all from doing god knows what. "Tuskushi?"
"Hmmm."
"If you were to find out some of the things I've done would you hate me?"
I was surprised once again by his question, but I knew the answer. "You were a different person back then. We all have our secrets. I've done things I regret, but I love you for who you are now. I see you for who you really are: kind, compassionate, gentle."
He leaned over and kissed me in mid sentence silencing my words. I melted into his lips feeling every part of my body ache for him. He rolled over on top of me and kissed my neck down to my shoulders feeling my body quiver underneath his. He would have gone lower, but I stopped him before we went any further. Our faces were flushed and we panted heavily trying to calm our desires.
I couldn't help, but feel guilty for letting my heart betray him. He deserved nothing, but my complete devotion. He needed someone to love him completely. In reality, Haru could only have a piece of it. In the many secret chambers within I knew there would always be that special place I held dear for Rui and Doumyouji. It wasn't fair to him and I knew it.
"Haru.I think I should confess something to you. Last night I let Doumyouji kiss me. The worse part is the reason I got drunk was because I was jealous that Shizuka came back for Rui. I'm a horrible person for doing those thing when I know I have you." I started to feel some more pitiful tears stream down my face.
"Shhh.forget about it. I know you would never do anything to hurt me." He kissed me on the forehead and wiped away the tears that ran down my face.
"Since we are both confessing our sins today I want to ask you something, but first I have to tell you the truth. Remember the last time I told you about the argument I had with my father about a final job he wanted me to do for the family?"
I nodded my head preparing myself for what was to come next.
"Even though I refused, he made me an offer that could change everything. He promised that if I did this one last mission I can be free free. No questions asked. I can disappear and our ties severed. The contracts he has on Fuio, Jin, and Hana will be annulled. We can all have a chance to escape all of this. I couldn't refuse him. After this last job I'll be leaving this place forever. The catch is the mission itself. It's going to take place in a few weeks. He showed me what it is and it's not a simple one. I'm scared that I might not come out of this alive. That's why I need you to do something for me Tsukushi. I know that if I have someone to come back for I will. I'm asking you to leave this place with me after it's all over. Come with me?"
I stopped to think about what Haru was asking me. Leave all this behind? Forget about school and just run away? Was that what I had been looking for all along. Some source of salvation. Haru was giving me a chance to escape this world controlled by F4. My parents could depend on Susumu of taking care of them now. Hadn't I taken on the responsibility of this family long enough. Mama and Papa were doing fine in the fishing village. Susumu's could continue studying in Eitoku on scholarship with his intelligence. They would only have one less person to feed, clothe and pay for schooling. It would all work out in the end if I disappeared. I knew my decision.
"Yes. I'll go with you." I mumbled.
Haru's face lit up and he kissed me once again easing my fears. "I'll tell you when we will leave then."
I laid back on my pillow wondering to myself if this was really the right thing to do. I knew we were being completely selfish. And yes I did wonder what his mission could be that he might come back alive. As we lay in bed together both wondering what will happen in the next few weeks, I realized why fate had brought Haru and I together. We were each other's salvation from the chaos that ruled our lives. Together we found repentance.
Chapter 21: Family business
I walked besides Haru with his hand firmly clasped over mine. I could sense the angry glares on me. The school was abuzz with the proof that Haru and I were now an item. Perhaps it was relief they felt that now Doumyouji was free from my grasps and he was a free for all. On the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised they were all shocked and bewildered why Haru would have chosen to be with me of all people. I had managed to somehow capture the mysterious bachelor of the school. No girl had even managed to get him to acknowledge their existence in school unless it was his sister.
"Tsukushi!" Shigeru yelled from across the room. Her mouth dropped to the floor and she looked towards Doumyouji who did not look up in utter confusion. Akira and Soujiro shifted uneasily in their seats waiting for the show to begin.
I pulled Haru towards their table. I had to be at least civil and polite. Shizuka, who was locked in a private conversation with Rui, looked up and smiled. I stared down at Rui feeling that urge of anger rise within me once again. He had once again taken his familiar place beside her. I looked away and directed my attention back towards the others at the table.
"Yo Tsukushi," Doumyouji shyly said.
"Hello." I came up with the first thing that came into my mind and blurted it out, "I guess you're all surprised that Shizuka is back."
Rui bowed his head down low in shame avoiding me.
"Ummm.Of course we are!" Akira cheerily yelled gripping onto his drink. He seemed to be acting a little more happy than usual trying to cover up the awkwardness.
"We were just talking about having a little celebration party for Shizuka's return. We're meeting at Club X at 7.Why don't you come along?" Soujiro asked without thinking.
I could see Akira kick him from beneath the table at the sound of his faux pas. I weakly smiled not wanting to make the situation any worse.
"I was hoping to catch up with all the news about you. So much has seemed to change since I got back. Even my Rui," Shizuka laughed. She eyed Haru who stood next to me in silence.
I was trapped. I couldn't say no to her like I wish I could have. I was weak when it came to Shizuka's coaxing. "Sure, I'll be there," I choked out.
I refrained from losing control wanting to kill Soujiro. "Oh, I'm forgetting my manners. Shizuka, this is my boyfriend Tse Hatsuhara. Haru this is Todou Shizuka."
Haru bowed politely towards the elegant lady. "Nice to meet you. Please just call me Haru."
Shizuka looked towards Doumyouji with pity being left out of the loop about our break up. "Nice to meet you, Haru."
"Your boyfriend?! What about." Shigeru stopped in mid sentence at the realization of what was going on. Her head kept turning from Doumyouji to me trying to comprehend what had happened and why she had been left in the dark about it all.
Soujiro wanting to make up for his last mistake grabbed Shigeru from behind cupping her mouth before she said anything else. Akira was patting Doumyouji's shoulder trying to calm him down before he exploded. I could see that vein in his forehead exploding holding back the urge to start going on a rampage. It was bad enough to have Shigeru put salt on that wound. He shrugged off Akira's comforting hand and walked off sulkily.
"Shigeru! Akira and I would like to talk to you over there." Soujiro and Akira picked her up from her seat and dragged her off. It took two playboys to drag her off, but they managed to overpower her. "We'll see you guys later."
Now it was just Rui and Shizuka sitting there. She placed her hand over Rui's allowing tehri fingers to entwine. Strangely I began to feel uneasy by this.
"Ummm. I'm sorry, but we have the others waiting for us," Haru spoke up. "It was very nice to meet you Todousan." He gripped my hand a little tighter in reassurance. He pulled me away from the table forcing my legs to regain their function.
"Thank you," I whispered to Haru feeling extremely grateful for him to be by my side when I needed him the most.
"What else is a boyfriend for?" he laughed. He kissed me on the top of my head and led me towards the table where Jin, Fujio and Hana sat.
Jin was toying around with his phone half listening to the person on the other line, which was probably just another one of his conquests. Hana was deeply engrossed in conversation with Fujio capturing his complete attention.
As soon as we sat down Jin curtly cut off the conversation on the other line with a push of the button. "Well I see the two lovebirds are here?"
I blushed at his comment. Although I had been in a relationship with Doumyouji for so long and Haru and I had seen more of each other than most new couples do, I still couldn't help but feel shy about being in a relationship with someone.
"Kushi!" Kazuya called out from across the room. He looked at me in bewilderment wondering why I wasn't sitting with F4. He had no clue what was going on. Timidly he approached our table. "I just got back from taking care of my father's business. Why aren't you sitting with F4 like usual?"
"That's because she's sitting with her boyfriend," Jin snidely commented. His lax face transformed completely. It was now cool and composed daringly staring right through the boy in front of him. "Who are you anyway?"
Kazuya cowered away frightened by the very threatening looking Jin.
"This is my old friend, Kazuya. Kazuya this is my boyfriend Haru. This is Hana, Fujio and Jin." I pointed out.
"You can sit with us if you want?" Fujio kindly invited Kazuya. I glanced up at Fujio gratefully. He pointed at the seat besides him and Kazuya sat himself down in awe of this new group of people.
"You must be the new students that everyone was talking about," Kazuya bluntly blurted out. "Wow! You are way cooler and nicer than F4 is!" His eyes glazed over being awestruck to sit at the table of the mysterious new group of students at Eitoku.
"Hey oneesan!" Susumu plopped himself down in the empty seat between Hana and me. "I thought I might sit with you today."
"Susumu? Wouldn't you rather be sitting with your friends?" I questioningly looked at him.
"Naw. The views much better here." He turned towards Hana who briefly looked up and smiled at him before diverting her attention to start a conversation with Jin. "Hello Hana," Susumu flashed one of his infamous charming smiles, but to no avail did she lose her concentration on the conversation she was having with Jin.
I watched Kazuya talking Fujio's ear off while he politely nodded and answered every asinine question he asked. It was slightly amusing watching my brother making futile attempts to get Hana's attention. My smooth brother couldn't manage to get her attention. In frustration and defeat he leaned back in his chair and decided to join the conversation between Fujio and Kazuya.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Haru pulled his cellphone from his pocket and glancing at the screen. He let out a heavy sigh and tucked it away. "I've got to go," he whispered to me as I happily munched on my food. I heard that tone of seriousness and urgency in his voice knowing that it could not be good whoever it was that called.
"We have to go. There's a car waiting for us outside." he commanded Fujio and Jin.
They looked up at the sudden change in Haru's attitude. They nodded their heads in complete understanding of the situation. Hana skeptically looked up at Haru's orders.
"He wants only us," he flatly stated looking at Hana.
She slumped down in her seat looking very disturbed by this. Angrily she shoved the chair away from the table with a loud scratching sound of the chair being dragged against the ground. In cold silence, she stalked off without a word.
"We'll go first."
Jin and Fujio gravely walked away whispering to the other.
Haru turned towards me. Worry was all over my face. Something bad was coming and I could feel it. His face changed back to the old, familiar face I had become so used to seeing.
"Can you come with me for a second?"
I got up from my seat and followed him outside. The sky was dark for early in the afternoon. Small delicate snowflakes began to fall from above hitting my eyelashes. We stopped near the front gates before Haru grabbed me to the side shielding me from the view of something.
"My father wants to see me. I need to take care of some family business. He must still be angry about that argument we had."
"I don't like the sound of that. Remember what he tried to do you last time."
"Don't worry. Nothing will happen to me. Fujio and Jin will be there. I'll pick you up at 6 to go to the club. Promise." He smiled. It was that smile he had only for me. For some reason I found reassurance in his gesture that he would come back to me in one piece.
"Haru."
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard easing all the worries away. He buried his face into my hair before pulling away abruptly. "Ja ne!" he yelled over his shoulder as he made a full sprint out towards the gates.
I ran forward trying to grab onto him before he left, but he was already long gone. I stood shivering in the cold trying to remember the comfort of his arms. I shrugged off the worries, but before turning back I glanced back for a moment and watched Haru disappear into a waiting black Mercedes. As the car sped off past the gates I noticed the window was opened. Besides Haru sat a stern, older looking male. The expression on his face sent shivers down my spine. It had to be him. There was that familiar cold, icy look in his eyes. It was his father. The man turned to look out the window and his gaze met mine for a brief moment before turning back towards Haru. It is a look I will never forget.
******************
I ran home after work to get ready for the party later that night. It was already 6:00 and I frantically scrambled to find something to wear. I knew I was just obsessing over every article of clothing while taking every few seconds to glance at the clock hoping to hear Haru at the door. I finally just chose a short tan skirt and soft white sweater. I paced around the room waiting for him.
6:15
6:30
6:45
By that time I was going insane wondering where he was. I was cursing him under my breath for lying to me.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
I grabbed my cellphone and looked down at the screen praying that it was Haru just calling to tell me he was going to be late. I was sadly disappointed when all I saw was a text message.
"Tsukushi, Going to be late. I'll meet you at the club later. -Haru"
I reassured myself that nothing was wrong and tucked the phone back into my purse. It was now 7:00 and the others were probably waiting for me to arrive. Halfheartedly I walked out the door to the club wondering what could have kept him.
***************
In a bad mood, I walked through the doors of the club looking around for F4, Shizuka and Shigeru.
"Tsukushi! Over here!" Yuki yelled from across the room straining her voice to be heard over the loud music.
I looked at their table feeling a little relieved that Yuki was there. Akira was already at the bar surrounded by the growing numbers of women flocking to him. Out on the dance floor Shigeru wildly danced with some random guy. Soujiro had his arm wrapped around Yuki whispering into her ear. Shizuka was saying something to Rui, but he seemed to not be listening to a word she said. He looked up at me with a glint excitement in his eyes. I kept my face dead to him and could see the disappointment in him. Doumyouji just sat there nursing his beer admiring the scenery around him. I walked over and decided to sit farthest out of the table so if I needed I could make a fast get away. This meant that I was stuck sitting next to Doumyouji, which I guess good enough since it was relatively far away from Rui.
"Where's your boyfriend?" Shizuka innocently asked striking a chord within me.
I put on a fake smile. "He said he'll be a little late."
"What kind of man let's his girlfriend go out to a club alone," Doumyouji muttered under his breath.
I slumped back in my seat wondering the same question myself. The smile on my face faded away. Doumyouji looked towards me and saw the effect of his words.
"Sorry," he whispered to me.
"No. It's not your fault," I whispered back with a faint smile.
"Well I hope he comes. I was hoping to meet Haru tonight. He'll come," Yuki said from across the table trying to comfort me.
I sat there watching everyone else enjoy themselves repeatedly glancing down at my watch waiting for Haru to appear through those doors, but it was never him. Finally, I resigned to the fact he would not come. Only Doumyouji sat beside me in silence. From beneath the table he reached over and grabbed my hand, He gave it a little squeeze trying to make me feel better at being stood up.
Suddenly from behind me I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I quickly released his hand. I spun around thinking Haru would be standing behind me with a smile on his face telling me that everything was fine.
"Hana?"
"Hello Tsukushi. Haru called me telling me to pass on the message that he couldn't make it. So, he sent me in his place to keep you company. I thought we might get to know each other better."
"Is everything okay?" I asked.
In a nonchalant way she replied, "Oh it's just family business."
Hana took one of the seats besides me pushing enclosing me into the table's inner circle. I cautiously eyed her wondering if she was the least worried about her brother's whereabouts. She always seemed to have some invisible guard up deflecting any outsiders from encroaching upon her private world.
"Hello," she politely greeted everyone at the table. "Nice to meet you. My name is Tse Hana. I'm Haru's little sister.
"Hello," everyone else replied nodding their heads.
I snapped out of my thoughts forcing myself to return from my dreamlike state. Everyone introduced themselves to Hana and they all seemed to like her. It was hard not to notice all the added attention she brought to our table. She was decked out in a short, tight black mini skirt and fiery red camisole covered by a transparent black sweater. Her eyelids were smeared a smoky grey and her lips a ruby red to match the red streaks running down her hair. Her hair was let down completely loose reaching down to her waist like a flowing river. She had that similar confidence to Haru, but she oozed feminine mystique drawing the gazes of many of the men towards her. You could tell she held the power.
"I don't think we've met before?" Akira smiled as he approached our table with his eyes dead set on Hana.
"You must be infamous Mimasaka Akira?" she coyly replied playing into his little game of cat and mouse. She innocently batted her eyelashes. It was a little unclear who was the cat and who was the mouse, though.
"I don't think it's very fair that I don't know you're name yet."
"I'm Hana."
"Hey Akira don't try anything with her!" I threateningly glared at him. "She's Haru's sister."
Akira just glanced at me for a second before turning his attention back towards Hana. "I was just going to ask her for a dance?" Akira innocently whined putting out his hand to take hers. He shot me a wink, which showed me no indication of whether or not he was serious about remaining a gentleman.
Hana took his hand and before I could say anything they were already out on the dance floor disappearing amongst the crowds of people swaying back and forth.
"Looks like Akira has found a new playmate!" Soujiro laughed.
Something inside of me told me not to worry. I smiled a little to myself knowing I was probably one of the only people in this world that knew what Hana was capable. She could snap that playboy in half like a twig. "Oh, something tells me that Hana can take care of herself."
"Whew! I'm tired from all that dancing!" Shigeru took the empty seat beside me once occupied by Hana. She looked around the table and noticed the tension in the air. She leaned in closer to me and whispered, "Akira and Soujiro filled me in on what was happening? I thought we were friends? You know you can tell me anything. I'm sorry about opening my big mouth before"
I turned to Shigeru feeling a sudden loss of words. "Sorry," I whispered back. "It's not you're fault."
"Well since it's party let's all have a drink!" Akira yelled pulling out a bottle of champagne. Hana's hands were full of glasses while Akira furiously shook the bottle to flick the cork off with a loud POP! "Let's party!"
Hana passed the glasses around. I reached out to grab one of the bubbling glasses feeling the urge to dull my disappointment away.
"Cheers!"
I gulped the sour liquid feeling it tingle down my throat. I noticed everyone look around in surprise seeing how I gulped the entire glass down in one swig. I slapped the glass to the table and started to feel the buzz. I knew I couldn't handle any liquor, but hey what better way to ease the pain.
"So Shizuka how long will you be staying in Japan?" I blurted out losing any sense of feeling in my brain.
"Just as long as it takes to get Rui to come back to me," Shizuka seductively whispered into Rui's ear. He made no attempt to push away her advances, but just accepted them.
I couldn't help, but feel a little perturbed by what she said. I glared at Rui thinking how dare he play me for a fool all this time. It didn't seem like Shizuka had fallen out of love with him one bit. Who the hell did he think he was to play me for a fool?!
Hana nudged me to sit upright after slumping a little over onto her.
I poured another glass of champagne and throwing it back into my mouth feeling the foam rise up in my mouth. By this time I was starting to get the hang of swallowing the champagne and it lost all of its unattractive taste. I stared at Rui and Shizuka feeling completely disgusted by the sight of them together. I didn't care. I had a boyfriend who loved me, It's just he couldn't be here right now. I grabbed Doumyouji's hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor. "I feel like dancing?" I stumbled my way onto the dance floor swaying along with the music and bobbing my head around to a rhythm that wasn't there. The waitresses passed us by holding trays of exotic liquids and I wanted to try them all. I grabbed two glasses and poured them down my throat tasting the sweet fruit juices mixed laced with vodka or rum. I started dancing wildly to the music feeling my entire body begin to overheat. My entire face was turning red and the room was beginning to spin. I tugged on my sweater pulling it over my head revealing the thin camisole I had on underneath. I madly giggled throwing the sweater into the crowd as they cheered.
"Tsukushi! What are you doing?!" he grabbed the jacket off some random guy on the dance floor and draped it over me covering my exposed body. "Please don't do this to yourself?" he whispered into my ear. He pulled me into him.
My mind couldn't process what was going on. His warm soft lips pressed firmly against mine. At that moment I didn't care if I was kissing Doumyouji. I just wanted him to take away all the confusion I was feeling. I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by desire for him feeling that old lust for him resurrect itself in me. But then an image of Haru came into my mind and I was immersed back into reality. I slapped him with all my might feeling the surge of pain through my hand upon contact with his face. "You have no right to do that?!" I pushed him away from me. "I'm having fun! Isn't that what we do when we have a party?!" I slurred. I wrestled my way through the crowd letting the jacket slip off my shoulders. "I don't need you to tell me what I can and can not do! I'm not your girlfriend anymore!"
He reached for my arm, and I struggled to push him away. I managed to escape from him through the crowd finding myself grabbing drinks left and right out of the hands of flirting men swigging it down as if it was water. That was all it was to me now, water. Somehow I managed to stumble my way back to the table where a silent Doumyouji and Rui sat solemnly. Everyone else was pretty much hammered at this point and we were all madly laughing our heads off at jokes that made no sense. I watched Shizuka as she lethargically rested her head against Rui's shoulder. Shigeru was all over Doumyouji draping herself all over him trying her best to make advances upon him. Soujiro was coaxing Yuki into just having one more drink. Akira and Hana seemed to be going at it playing a drinking game.
I reached forward to grab a glass of whatever it was on the table feeling a sudden undeniable thirst, but two hands pushed the glass away from me.
"I think you've had enough," Rui and Doumyouji both said in unison.
I glared at them feeling extremely spiteful that they would deny me a drink. I could handle myself. " Fine. I'm going to the bathroom then." I stood up and gripped the table to balance myself. I saw the look of concern spread over there faces wondering if I would pass out on the way there.
"Tsukushi?" a voice called from beside me. "I'll go with you" Hana volunteered. She grabbed my arm and put it over her shoulder to help me get up and reach the ladies room.
At this point I could barely maintain my balance. I tried to fight to get up, but I lost all the feeling in my legs. Everything was just so blurry. I thrust myself into the ladies room feeling crawling to the porcelain bowl. I never thought so much could come out of a person, but to my surprise I threw up like nobody's business. I felt like I was going to die. When I finally finished retching I looked up at Hana who kindly held back my hair for me. I sat back against he wall feeling all the energy drained out of me while Hana walked away for a few moments. She pulled me from the ground and led me to one of the private rooms laying me down on the couch that reeked of cigarette smoke and booze. Gently she placed a cool towel on my head soothing my pounding head.
"Feel any better?" she asked in a low voice.
I cringed feeling like her voice was a thousand times louder than it really was. "Thank you."
"This has nothing to do with Haru not showing up does it? It's those two, isn't it?" she asked.
Oh god, I thought to myself. She had seen everything. My reaction to Rui and Shizuka together. Doumyouji kissing me on the dance floor. "Yes," I weakly replied. "Don't misunderstand. I love Haru, but Doumyouji, Rui and I have a long history. I can't just forget about all that" breaking down uncontrollably into sobs.
"Shh.it's ok. I know you love my brother and I trust you will make him happy," she whispered stroking away the loose strands of hair that fell over my hands. "I won't say anything to him."
I looked up at her angelic face so full of the same features I had noticed in Haru. She had the same compassion in her eyes he always gave me. "Thank you."
"Let's just promise to not talk about this night ever again," she laughed.
As I felt the drunkenness taking over once again I fell asleep in her arms cradling my limp body.
*********
I awoke the next morning with a earth shattering pounding sensation in my head. The rays of the sunlight were slowly crawling against the floor reaching closer and closer to my face. I opened my eyes wide to see where I was in a panic. The last thing I remembered was being in the club last night with Hana. I looked down realizing I was still wearing the same clothes from the night before. I scanned the room and sighed in relief realizing I had somehow made it home. I crawled back into my sheets thinking to myself that I needed to skip school today. I laughed to myself a little thinking of how everyone else was probably waking up right now regretting their actions last night with the constant reminder of a hang over.
"Oneesan." Susumu whispered from the doorway.
"Not so loud!" I moaned in pain.
He knelt down beside me and pulled the covers off my face t take a good look at the wreck from the night before. "You look like shit!" he laughed.
"Thanks," I muttered in annoyance at his early morning cheerfulness. "Remind me to kill you for that comment the moment the room stops spinning. How did I get home last night?"
"I think you stumbled in around 4 last night. Hana dropped you off in her car and woke me up to take care of you before running off. She looked like she was in a hurry to get somewhere."
I closed my eyes that lump that was rising in my throat. Thank god Hana took me home and not Doumyouji or Rui. I vaguely remembered half of what happened the night before, but it was better to have Hana listen to my drunken mutterings than either of those two. God knows what I said the night before.
"Well I've got to get to school, now. You stay here and get some rest. I don't think you should go out in public looking like that. I'll see you when I get home."
Susumu tucked me back into my sheets and quietly tiptoed out of the room attempting to not make a sound, but I could hear every little creak in the floorboard sending railing pains through my skull. I closed my eyes and let myself escape this unbearable pain to a better place in dream land.
I woke up a few hours later feeling a little bit better. I rolled over onto my side to stretch out my body and found the shock of my life.
"Haru! How did you get in here?" I gasped.
He sat against the wall in a black suit with is head tucked between his knees. For some odd reason he looked just about how I felt. Tired. Depressed. Confused. He looked up and pointed to the window, which was now open.
"I snuck in through the window. From the looks of you, last night must have been pretty rough."
I felt a surge of guilt run over me remembering the jealousy and anger I had let take over me last night. "Yeah I guess I drank just a little too much," I laughed.
He crawled across the floor and laid himself down beside me in the futon. "I wish I could spend every day with you like this,' he mumbled.
I was taken aback by his words wondering why he would suddenly say something like that to me. I reached my hand to his face and gently pushed the hair out of his eyes. "Where were you last night?"
"Sorry. It took a little longer than I expected to deal with my father. He's a stubborn man, but I think we've come to an agreement. I got caught up doing some errands for him."
"Oh," I stopped myself from asking any further questions sensing that it was something I should not ask about for fear of finding out the truth. Sometimes it was just better to be left in the dark. Ignorance is bliss, right?
Haru let out a tired, heavy sigh. I looked at is wrinkled black suit. He was adorned in complete black. He didn't bother to take off the long trench coat either. His face was worn and revealed the lack of sleep he had gotten the night before. Dark circles formed under his eyes. As he lay there peacefully with his eyes looking into mine I felt myself becoming utterly lost in his gaze wondering if in his past had it always been like this, disappearing into the dark underground only to reemerge sometime in the day to face the reality of it all from doing god knows what. "Tuskushi?"
"Hmmm."
"If you were to find out some of the things I've done would you hate me?"
I was surprised once again by his question, but I knew the answer. "You were a different person back then. We all have our secrets. I've done things I regret, but I love you for who you are now. I see you for who you really are: kind, compassionate, gentle."
He leaned over and kissed me in mid sentence silencing my words. I melted into his lips feeling every part of my body ache for him. He rolled over on top of me and kissed my neck down to my shoulders feeling my body quiver underneath his. He would have gone lower, but I stopped him before we went any further. Our faces were flushed and we panted heavily trying to calm our desires.
I couldn't help, but feel guilty for letting my heart betray him. He deserved nothing, but my complete devotion. He needed someone to love him completely. In reality, Haru could only have a piece of it. In the many secret chambers within I knew there would always be that special place I held dear for Rui and Doumyouji. It wasn't fair to him and I knew it.
"Haru.I think I should confess something to you. Last night I let Doumyouji kiss me. The worse part is the reason I got drunk was because I was jealous that Shizuka came back for Rui. I'm a horrible person for doing those thing when I know I have you." I started to feel some more pitiful tears stream down my face.
"Shhh.forget about it. I know you would never do anything to hurt me." He kissed me on the forehead and wiped away the tears that ran down my face.
"Since we are both confessing our sins today I want to ask you something, but first I have to tell you the truth. Remember the last time I told you about the argument I had with my father about a final job he wanted me to do for the family?"
I nodded my head preparing myself for what was to come next.
"Even though I refused, he made me an offer that could change everything. He promised that if I did this one last mission I can be free free. No questions asked. I can disappear and our ties severed. The contracts he has on Fuio, Jin, and Hana will be annulled. We can all have a chance to escape all of this. I couldn't refuse him. After this last job I'll be leaving this place forever. The catch is the mission itself. It's going to take place in a few weeks. He showed me what it is and it's not a simple one. I'm scared that I might not come out of this alive. That's why I need you to do something for me Tsukushi. I know that if I have someone to come back for I will. I'm asking you to leave this place with me after it's all over. Come with me?"
I stopped to think about what Haru was asking me. Leave all this behind? Forget about school and just run away? Was that what I had been looking for all along. Some source of salvation. Haru was giving me a chance to escape this world controlled by F4. My parents could depend on Susumu of taking care of them now. Hadn't I taken on the responsibility of this family long enough. Mama and Papa were doing fine in the fishing village. Susumu's could continue studying in Eitoku on scholarship with his intelligence. They would only have one less person to feed, clothe and pay for schooling. It would all work out in the end if I disappeared. I knew my decision.
"Yes. I'll go with you." I mumbled.
Haru's face lit up and he kissed me once again easing my fears. "I'll tell you when we will leave then."
I laid back on my pillow wondering to myself if this was really the right thing to do. I knew we were being completely selfish. And yes I did wonder what his mission could be that he might come back alive. As we lay in bed together both wondering what will happen in the next few weeks, I realized why fate had brought Haru and I together. We were each other's salvation from the chaos that ruled our lives. Together we found repentance.
