YAY!!! I did it! You are so damn lucky. Hey ViKy, I haven't covered my
book yet! Eehheeehehh!!! - my retard giggle laugh. - Anyway-READ!
Review! Yay!
Disclaimer: Yes.I own Harry Potter but I love Draco Malfoy instead. Have no doubts about my love for you, sexy man!!! Oh, where art thou? WHERE ART THOU, MY LOVE?! Have you no courtesy? No courtesy for a good shag?!
By the way....about that, I'm really not like that. Sometimes.
But don't get ideas.
About me.
Or my undying love for Draco Malfoy.
HISSSSS!!!
~*~*
"So, still planning your little 'torture Malfoy' party?" Draco said, as they stepped through the portrait hole.
"Yup, and, people should be arriving in half an hour." She said, checking her watch.
"WHAT THE HELL?! Tonight?!" He exploded.
"Yessiree, I'd better fix up my room."
"Wait, who did you invite?"
"No one." She said offhandedly, deciding not to tell him.
"WHO DID YOU INVITE?" He yelled, slamming her into the wall and pressing himself against her.
Hermione regarded this suspiciously and looked at him, remembering that night.
"Sheesh, no one new, Ginny, Parvati, Padma, and a few other girls."
"NOT PANSY?!" He half wailed, and let her go.
"No, god hell no." She blanched, and scrunched her face up.
"Good." Draco ran a hand through his hair, and Hermione vaguely thought how cute and insecure he looked.
"What?" Oh crap. Caught staring at the god of adorability.
"You have a lint in your hair," She said crawling over the couch to get to him, and pulled an imaginary string off of his hair. "There."
"Okay...thanks." He said.
"Well I'm going to go clean up my room. Have a good night, Malfoy!" She said mischievously.
"Yeah. I'm sure."
~*
At about 8:00, there was a knock at the Portrait Hole. Draco was about to open the Portrait, when Hermione came bursting out of her room and basically jumped on Draco and crawled over him to open the latch.
"Ow, bitch! Get off!"
"Wait, hold still! MUST-OPEN--LATCH!!!"
~*
"What do you think is going on in there?" Harry asked Ron.
"I have no idea."
~*
"HELLO!!!" Hermione screamed, but at the wrong people.
"Uh, hi. Hermione," Harry said, motioning about Ron's purple face and clenched fists.
"Oh...yeah...er..." She realized she was on Draco's back, holding the latch. She quickly jumped off. "So, how may I help you?"
"Um. Yeah. We came to ask you if we could borrow Hogwarts: A History."
"Sure!" She went and got it, and they left. "Don't bend the pages!" She yelled after them.
Soon, Ginny arrived, then the twins, then Susie and Hannah Thomas.
"Hey, Hermione, Lavender couldn't come."
"'S okay. I need to go yell at Malfoy for a bit."
"Ooh, that's right, Malfoy is your dorm mate, yeah?" Susie said.
"Yep."
"You're so lucky!!!"
"Ha! You have no idea," She said. "He's very loathsome."
"Whatever. He's still GOD."
"Hell no!!!" She said, at his door. She knocked a little, and then yelled, "Malfoy? MALFOY!!! I would like to let you know that the all night girls' party is now beginning, so if you would like a sacrificial knife, just come and ask!!! MALFOY YOU WILL PAY FOR TEASING ME!!!" He opened the door.
"Whatever. Just know that no amount of noise that you could make could ever disturb me. I am GOD!!!" He said, stretching out his arms and winking at Susie.
She giggled, and then nudged Ginny.
"Sure. You wish." Hermione looked evidently at his lower body parts and looked back up at his face. "Good bye, and I hope you learn your place." She giggled, and he shut the door.
"NOW, girls, THE FUN BEGINS!!!"
~*
"Hey, Hermione, do you have any liquor? Alcohol of any type?" Ginny asked.
"Gee. I wonder. Did you think I would?" She asked sarcastically.
"Well, no."
"THEN YOU WOULD BE SO WRONG!!!" Hermione giggled and crawled under her bed, pushing out a large wooden crate the other side.
It jingled with the watery sounds of glass.
There was loud cheering, and everyone took a bottle.
"Okay wait." Hermione said, and she shrunk everything in the room so that there was more space on the floor for them to fool around on. She also turned her dresser into a sort of mini bar, and magically put the alcohol in it.
"OOH!!!" The girls all gasped.
"Oh shut up, that's all in our textbooks." She said flippantly, and everyone laughed.
"Hey, it's getting to be Halloween. 'Mione, are we going to have a ball?" Ginny asked.
Her eyes glinted.
"Shh. Don't tell. Yes." Hermione said, rather loudly. She had had almost the whole bottle of whiskey already.
All the girls giggled, then Hannah spoke up. "Let's play truth or dare."
There was a loud chorus of 'Yeah!'.
"Sure!" Hermione said.
"Ginny, you go first." Hannah said.
"Fine, um, Parvati, truth or dare?"
"Truth!!!"
"I remember in fifth year you had a mysterious boyfriend. Who was it?"
"Oh. Um, Dean." Everyone giggled. "Hermione?"
"DARE!" She seemed to have magically sobered up a bit.
"I dare you to go outside and tell Draco Malfoy that you 'want his sexy body'.if you're drunk enough!!!"
"I am not drunk! I am--a little--" She started spelling. "T-I-s-p-I, t-I- p-s-I, TIPSY!!!! I am TIPSY!" She stood and almost tripped.
"I WILL GO!!!" She stepped outside, and motioned for them to follow. She knocked on his door.
"Malfoy?"
He opened it. "Are you drunk?"
She straightened her face and looked at Parvati. "How do you want me to say it?"
"I don't know. Purr it, if you want to. I honestly don't give a fuck." She said shrugging, eager to see what Hermione would do.
"FINE, BUT IF I PURR IT, YOU OWE ME MONEY!!!" She yelled.
"Fine. Three sickles."
"Alright." Hermione turned back to Malfoy and leaned on his doorframe. "Malfoy." She PURRED, "I want....your...sexy body..." She winked seductively.
He got a very horrified, blank look, and yelled, "Stay away, demon, I HAVE WEAPON!!!" Then slammed the door shut.
"Money!!! Yay! MY TURN!!! YAY!" Hermione yelled once in the room. "Ginny, truth or dare?"
"Truth!!!"
"Well you are a very brave bugger then, who do you have a crush on, because I know it isn't Harry!"
Ginny blushed. "Fine, I think that the hottest guy is Seamus!!! SUE ME!!!" She paused. "So, um, Padma,"
"DARE!"
"Okay, I dare you to attend school tomorrow with fishnets, stilettos, a tube top, and a mini skirt on under your robes. Then, open it up after school and walk around like that."
"You're on, wench!!! Um, Hermione?"
"Truth." Hermione said.
"Have you had sex?" Ooh. That was a tough one.
"No!!! NEVER! Come on, like I could ever have any type of sexual relationship with a person."
"Okay." Padma said, and waited for Hermione to continue.
"NOW! Hannah!"
"Dare, you drunkard!"
Hermione scowled. "Just for that I dare you to sing Lady Marmalade to Mr. Malfoy."
"FINE THEN!" Said Hannah, who was also Muggle born.
She stepped outside, and so did the others. To their amazement, Malfoy was outside watching the television.
And so Hannah started singing, but first she told him not to listen.
Hermione whacked her.
"Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister--He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge, strutting her stuff on the street. She said, 'Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go, wooahh, gitchie gitchie ya ya da da, gitchie gitchie ya ya here, mocha chocolata ya ya Creole Lady Marmalade, ohh--" She winked at Draco and he stared confusedly.
Then Hannah started gyrating.
"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ah, oh, voulez-vous coucher avec moi yeah yeah yeah yeah--"
Now, Malfoy, who knew at least 3 different languages, blanched and ran away. All the girls started laughing.
(A/N: Malfoy knows French, Japanese, and Latin. HE KNOWS THESE LANGUAGES AND I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM BECAUSE I MADE HIM KNOW THEM.)
"No wait!!!" Hannah yelled after him. "Well I tried my best." Hannah told Hermione.
"Nah, it's okay. Who's next?!"
~*
"I'm bored. Enough truth or dare." Hermione mumbled an hour later. "Let's do something else."
"What time is it?" Padma asked.
"About 12. It's not very late." Parvati said, checking her watch.
"Let's think of what else to do. I know, why don't we think up what we're going to wear to the ball? It's a costume one, right 'Mione?" Ginny said.
"Yeah."
"Ooh let's think of Hermione's costume!!!" Hannah said excitedly.
"Why?"
"You'll need something good!" Susie said.
"Whatever."
Then Hannah whispered something to Ginny, who passed it on to Padma, then Parvati, then Susie.
"Yeah!!" Susie said. Then they all started to surround Hermione.
"What the fuck are you doing?" She said warily, standing up.
Then Hannah pushed her gently into a chair.
"Wh-"
"Hurry Ginnny!!"
"Hurry Ginny what?!" Hermione yelled, Hannah holding her down.
"Oh my god, YOU ARE FREAKISHLY STRONG!" Hannah said.
Then Ginny tied a blindfold around Hermione's head.
"What the fuck!" Hermione yelled, struggling quite a bit.
Then she felt some kind of rope tie itself around her wrist and legs to the chair. "What are you doing?! OH MY GOD!!! EEEEE!" She shrieked.
"Dammit Hermione!" She heard Padma yell.
"Hermione shut the hell up!" Susie said, in the far corner of the room.
"Okay now, Hermione, calm down, it won't hurt." Ginny said soothingly.
"WHAT WON"T HURT?!" Hermione was now screaming.
"Wait, which one should I do?" Parvati asked, to Hannah, as she heard the two of them whispering.
Someone muttered a spell and Hermione tingled. Then murmurs.
"I don't know, was that the painless spell, or the extra pain spell?"
"I don't know, I've no idea!"
"Was it the painless?"
"Who cares? Let's just get it over with so she doesn't get suspicious and kill us all tomorrow!"
"GET WHAT OVER WITH?! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WORDS LIKE PAIN?!" Hermione yelled struggling against her bonds.
(A/N: Remember, she has vampire hearing!!!)
Then she heard a spell that she couldn't recognize.
Then, after that, she felt a huge bolt of fire go through her tongue and she screamed.
"OW! M-OW!!! MOWWER FWUCK! SHWIT! WHAT WA FWUCK DID WOO DO?! OOWW!"
Every time she said something, her tongue was poked by thousands of nettles and pierced by thousands of splinters.
"Well. It must have been the extra pain spell then."
"Yup. Someone untie her."
"Hell no! I'm not going near her!"
Hermione was screaming her head off and was struggling as though her life depended on it.
Finally, someone magically untied the ropes, and she wrenched her wrists free, pulling the bandana off of her head.
"OW! I WILL SWO GET WOO BACK!!!" She ran into the bathroom, and a little bit of blood leaked out of the thing in her tongue.
She licked it up and swallowed it.
She burst into the bathroom, pushing Malfoy away from the sink.
(A/N: Poor dear.he wasn't doing anything. Just sexily brushing his teeth!)
"What the fuck!" He said, as he dodged some toothpaste that fell from the corner of his mouth.
Hermione was examining the silver stud in her tongue. It had stopped bleeding, but not hurting. "Ow!" She mumbled, as she pulled her tongue from her mouth.
Malfoy stood behind her. "No fuck! Heheh, someone pierced their tongue!" He chuckled.
"I dwid not! It was thwose haw-harpies in the next wo-room!" She went back to examining it.
"I mwust find way two twake it wout," She started pulling at it. "OW! FWUCK!" She screamed, but didn't stop.
"Christ, don't do that! It'll hurt more!" He pushed her out of the way. "Now move, so I can finish brushing my teeth."
"Oh, so woo can fwinish brushing wour teeth. FUCK NO!" She yelled at him.
"Shut the fuck up!"
"YOU!"
"NO, YOU!"
"YOU GODDAMIT! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, ASSHOLE!!!"
"Hermione, um, are you okay?" Padma and Parvati stuck their heads in.
"Yeah, why the hell are you yelling things like, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" And "NO, YOU!"?"
"Yeah, why, MALFOY!"
"Okay. Never mind. Hermione! Let's go do something else now. We have to get the rest of your costume prepared."
"Fuck no. I'm not going to do anything else with you. LOOK AT MY FUCKING TONGUE!"
Parvati sighed. "We know Hermione/ No one cares."
Hermione screeched even louder. "NO ONE CARES?!"
"Come on, it's not like there are any rules banning it or anything." Hannah said, coming in behind Parvati.
"THERE ARE MY MOOOORRRAAAL RULES, EVIL DEMONS!!!" She screeched even more loudly than 'even louder'.
"Whatever. Come on Hermione! Bondage pants and black makeup time!"
"What the MOTHER FUCK?!" She started to run away, and ran smack bang into Malfoy because she was half drunk.
The big force of Hermione running into him caused him to trip and then slip backwards into the pool of water in the middle of the floor.
But, as luck would have it, not before pulling Hermione in with him did he break the surface.
All the girls were now standing in the bathroom laughing their heads off.
Malfoy came up swearing and cursing, and then came Hermione sputtering.
"YOU EVIL BITCH!!!" Malfoy yelled, swimming closer and then shoving her head under the water.
"I--am not--EVIL!!!" She said, wrenching out of his grasp and trying to swim away.
"Hey, I want more whiskey." Parvati said busily.
"DEVIL!"
"Yeah, me too." Hannah agreed.
"NO! NO TOUCHEY!"
"I'm tired."
"EVIL!!!!"
"Yeah so am I."
"STAY AWAY!"
"Bye 'Mione."
"STOP KICKING SO I CAN KILL YOU! MY ROBES!"
"Yeah bye."
"OWWW!!!"
"Bye."
"YOU WOMAN DEMON!!!" Malfoy yelled, splashing after her, his robes soaked and causing drag.
"IT WASN'T ME!" She screamed. "Blame them! THEY WANT ME TO BECOME A GOTH OR SOMETHING!"
"I AM ALL WET!"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! LOOK AT MY TONGUE!"
Malfoy collided with Hermione and pushed her under again.
But, she got the upper hand and somehow managed to push him under, but then he flipped her over and held her down.
"AGH! AGGGHHHH!" She yelled, kicking water everywhere.
Then she kicked Malfoy and slipped out of his grasp and swam to the edge. She pulled herself up, but with some trouble because she was so tired.
"No-touch!" She tried to roll away from the edge, where Malfoy was.
Malfoy heaved himself up and rolled over her, smashing her into the floor, while she emitted a loud "OW!"
He crawled away and started breathing heavily.
She turned to him and said, "Now tell me that wasn't annoying."
He crawled back to her and pushed her back in the water.
"Fuck!"
"It was scary, not annoying."
"Yeah right." She said, this time going up the little steps on the other side of the pool. She walked over to him and said, "Get up."
"Why? This is your fault."
"I need to change."
"So?" He replied wolfishly. "You look good like that!" He looked very obviously at her breasts, where the cold air seemed to be directing itself.
She blushed and put her arms around herself. "Now I definitely must change!" Hermione kicked him in the side.
"Ow! I can't help it, I'm male!"
"So what, it's not like females do that!" She said indignantly.
"Yeah right."
"Right."
"Whatever."
"Fine, I'm going to go change in there, if you're so stubborn." She walked over to the door.
"Well I am." He said up to her, still on the floor.
Hermione opened the door and closed it. Suddenly, there were harsh screech- y noises that caused Draco to look up. Then more yelling and screaming that sounded like Hermione and then there were ripping noises and loud exclamations of pain and curses.
Then the door banged open and slammed shut, and a very freaked out Hermione locked it and leaned against it. There were cackling and sniggering noises from the other side.
Malfoy just had to laugh at this.
Hermione was breathing heavily, half changed, still wearing the plaid skirt she was before, but now a black 'The Clash' shirt covered her top. She had weird bright red streaks in her hair, and feathers, obviously from the torn pillow in her hand, where all over her. She had one eye painted in black makeup, and her lips were also black.
"What are you laughing at?!" She said menacingly.
Malfoy just kept on laughing. He rolled over and got up.
"Stop laughing! It's not funny!"
She threw down the pillowcase in her left hand, and then dropped her cargos and her wet robes.
Laughter.
Hermione sighed angrily.
"Crap. I forgot my hair band."
Malfoy stopped laughing. "So go back and get it!"
"What the fuck? ME? Go back there? HELL NO! I am not even going to consider it! I will never go back in there unless I have a gun! Not even to sleep! IMAGINE! SLEEP?! WITH THEM! THEY MIGHT KILL ME! SUFFOCATE ME WITH CONCEALER AND ROUGE!"
Malfoy laughed hard. "Well then where are you going to sleep?"
Hermione growled. "Away from them!" She thought. "I will sleep in your room."
"WITH ME?! ME SLEEP WITH YOU?! IN THE SAME ROOM?!" Malfoy went ballistic.
"No. You are sleeping on the couch."
"BUT IT'S MY ROOM!"
"Not anymore." Hermione rubbed off the eye makeup, then the lipstick.
"Bu- MINE!!!"
"Well then fine. YOU can sleep on the FLOOR." She tried getting rid of the streaks, but no luck.
"Hell NO! It is MY bed. I am sleeping there."
"No, me!"
"I AM!"
"Fine. We can share it."
"WHAT?! THAT'S LUDICROUS!"
"Well you're so picky." It seemed that--*gulp*--the streaks were permanent.
"Crap."
"I need to change. Out."
"NO! WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE TAKEN FROM ME?! MY BED, MY ROOM, THE BATHROOM TIME I HAVE?!"
"Well then turn around, because I will not do a strip show for you!"
"FINE!" Malfoy turned, but kept complaining.
Loudly.
He heard the rustle of pants, and the sound of a zipper being pulled up.
"ARE YOU DONE YET?!"
"Yes, you can turn, but since I am going to bed, it won't make a difference."
"NOOOO!" Malfoy yelled, but Hermione had already run into his room and jumped onto his bed.
"MY BED HAS BEEN DIRTIED! OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!" Malfoy clenched his hands in the air.
"Shut up! I'm tired." Hermione said, pulling up the covers.
"NO! THE LEFT SIDE! MY SIDE!!!"
"I said shut up!"
Malfoy stood there angrily, clenching his hands, mouth open, until he finally went to the drawer and pulled out a set of bedclothes.
(A/N: Mm....imagine....white under shirt and black jeans....*drippy noises as drool spatters on keyboard*....oh, wait, black cargos....jeans are too stiff of a material...mmm...*sizzling noise as I burst into flames*....)
He went to change.
When he came back, Hermione was asleep.
'God.she really does snore.' He thought, and got into bed.
"Uuugggh--" Hermione moaned and seemed to be dreaming. Malfoy got up on his elbows and leaned over her to see if she was okay.
Then, her fist connected with his nose.
"OW! FUCK!" He yelled, and lay back on the bed.
Hermione moaned and sat up groggily. "What happened?" She rubbed her eyes. "Why are you yelling?"
"OW! Why did you PUNCH me? WHAT ARE YOU DREAMING ABOUT?!" He said, holding his nose.
"I punched you? Wow, sorry." She seemed genuinely puzzled.
"What THE FUCK where you dreaming about?!" Malfoy said, glad his nose wasn't broken or bleeding.
"I was at a birthday party."
Malfoy frowned. "And what, did the clown come up to and try to feel you up?"
Hermione blushed, and then frowned herself. "No. It just so happens, I was eating a piece of birthday cake."
~*~*
Now, who is actually like that? I remember kicking my best friend when she tried to wake me up because I thought she was a roach.
Weird, huh?
Hehe--now, in future chappies I plan for Hermione to open a door really fast and miscalculate the distance and have it slam her in the head, then sometime she'll walk into a wall, and maybe Malfoy can walk into a wall.
But he's too noble, so,
I have no idea.
But, of course, there is the fight, then the-
WHOOPS! CAN'T TELL!
And by the way, the way they can fight and then be talking is because of THE BOND THEY SHARE. Yep. I know everything. I am speshal.
AND NOW, A NEW FEATURE! I F YOU WOULD LIKE FOR ME TO EMAIL YOU AND TELL YOU WHEN I'VE UPLOADED, REVIEW AND ASK ME, THEN LEAVE YOUR MAIL ADDRESS!
But don't be a fuck, you have to ASK!!!
I know, I'm the devil. Leave a review, and say you want to join the hordes of my undead zombie people. I'll thank you later, though you all know how much I luv you.DRACO BABY!!!!
BYE BYE!!!
SK
Disclaimer: Yes.I own Harry Potter but I love Draco Malfoy instead. Have no doubts about my love for you, sexy man!!! Oh, where art thou? WHERE ART THOU, MY LOVE?! Have you no courtesy? No courtesy for a good shag?!
By the way....about that, I'm really not like that. Sometimes.
But don't get ideas.
About me.
Or my undying love for Draco Malfoy.
HISSSSS!!!
~*~*
"So, still planning your little 'torture Malfoy' party?" Draco said, as they stepped through the portrait hole.
"Yup, and, people should be arriving in half an hour." She said, checking her watch.
"WHAT THE HELL?! Tonight?!" He exploded.
"Yessiree, I'd better fix up my room."
"Wait, who did you invite?"
"No one." She said offhandedly, deciding not to tell him.
"WHO DID YOU INVITE?" He yelled, slamming her into the wall and pressing himself against her.
Hermione regarded this suspiciously and looked at him, remembering that night.
"Sheesh, no one new, Ginny, Parvati, Padma, and a few other girls."
"NOT PANSY?!" He half wailed, and let her go.
"No, god hell no." She blanched, and scrunched her face up.
"Good." Draco ran a hand through his hair, and Hermione vaguely thought how cute and insecure he looked.
"What?" Oh crap. Caught staring at the god of adorability.
"You have a lint in your hair," She said crawling over the couch to get to him, and pulled an imaginary string off of his hair. "There."
"Okay...thanks." He said.
"Well I'm going to go clean up my room. Have a good night, Malfoy!" She said mischievously.
"Yeah. I'm sure."
~*
At about 8:00, there was a knock at the Portrait Hole. Draco was about to open the Portrait, when Hermione came bursting out of her room and basically jumped on Draco and crawled over him to open the latch.
"Ow, bitch! Get off!"
"Wait, hold still! MUST-OPEN--LATCH!!!"
~*
"What do you think is going on in there?" Harry asked Ron.
"I have no idea."
~*
"HELLO!!!" Hermione screamed, but at the wrong people.
"Uh, hi. Hermione," Harry said, motioning about Ron's purple face and clenched fists.
"Oh...yeah...er..." She realized she was on Draco's back, holding the latch. She quickly jumped off. "So, how may I help you?"
"Um. Yeah. We came to ask you if we could borrow Hogwarts: A History."
"Sure!" She went and got it, and they left. "Don't bend the pages!" She yelled after them.
Soon, Ginny arrived, then the twins, then Susie and Hannah Thomas.
"Hey, Hermione, Lavender couldn't come."
"'S okay. I need to go yell at Malfoy for a bit."
"Ooh, that's right, Malfoy is your dorm mate, yeah?" Susie said.
"Yep."
"You're so lucky!!!"
"Ha! You have no idea," She said. "He's very loathsome."
"Whatever. He's still GOD."
"Hell no!!!" She said, at his door. She knocked a little, and then yelled, "Malfoy? MALFOY!!! I would like to let you know that the all night girls' party is now beginning, so if you would like a sacrificial knife, just come and ask!!! MALFOY YOU WILL PAY FOR TEASING ME!!!" He opened the door.
"Whatever. Just know that no amount of noise that you could make could ever disturb me. I am GOD!!!" He said, stretching out his arms and winking at Susie.
She giggled, and then nudged Ginny.
"Sure. You wish." Hermione looked evidently at his lower body parts and looked back up at his face. "Good bye, and I hope you learn your place." She giggled, and he shut the door.
"NOW, girls, THE FUN BEGINS!!!"
~*
"Hey, Hermione, do you have any liquor? Alcohol of any type?" Ginny asked.
"Gee. I wonder. Did you think I would?" She asked sarcastically.
"Well, no."
"THEN YOU WOULD BE SO WRONG!!!" Hermione giggled and crawled under her bed, pushing out a large wooden crate the other side.
It jingled with the watery sounds of glass.
There was loud cheering, and everyone took a bottle.
"Okay wait." Hermione said, and she shrunk everything in the room so that there was more space on the floor for them to fool around on. She also turned her dresser into a sort of mini bar, and magically put the alcohol in it.
"OOH!!!" The girls all gasped.
"Oh shut up, that's all in our textbooks." She said flippantly, and everyone laughed.
"Hey, it's getting to be Halloween. 'Mione, are we going to have a ball?" Ginny asked.
Her eyes glinted.
"Shh. Don't tell. Yes." Hermione said, rather loudly. She had had almost the whole bottle of whiskey already.
All the girls giggled, then Hannah spoke up. "Let's play truth or dare."
There was a loud chorus of 'Yeah!'.
"Sure!" Hermione said.
"Ginny, you go first." Hannah said.
"Fine, um, Parvati, truth or dare?"
"Truth!!!"
"I remember in fifth year you had a mysterious boyfriend. Who was it?"
"Oh. Um, Dean." Everyone giggled. "Hermione?"
"DARE!" She seemed to have magically sobered up a bit.
"I dare you to go outside and tell Draco Malfoy that you 'want his sexy body'.if you're drunk enough!!!"
"I am not drunk! I am--a little--" She started spelling. "T-I-s-p-I, t-I- p-s-I, TIPSY!!!! I am TIPSY!" She stood and almost tripped.
"I WILL GO!!!" She stepped outside, and motioned for them to follow. She knocked on his door.
"Malfoy?"
He opened it. "Are you drunk?"
She straightened her face and looked at Parvati. "How do you want me to say it?"
"I don't know. Purr it, if you want to. I honestly don't give a fuck." She said shrugging, eager to see what Hermione would do.
"FINE, BUT IF I PURR IT, YOU OWE ME MONEY!!!" She yelled.
"Fine. Three sickles."
"Alright." Hermione turned back to Malfoy and leaned on his doorframe. "Malfoy." She PURRED, "I want....your...sexy body..." She winked seductively.
He got a very horrified, blank look, and yelled, "Stay away, demon, I HAVE WEAPON!!!" Then slammed the door shut.
"Money!!! Yay! MY TURN!!! YAY!" Hermione yelled once in the room. "Ginny, truth or dare?"
"Truth!!!"
"Well you are a very brave bugger then, who do you have a crush on, because I know it isn't Harry!"
Ginny blushed. "Fine, I think that the hottest guy is Seamus!!! SUE ME!!!" She paused. "So, um, Padma,"
"DARE!"
"Okay, I dare you to attend school tomorrow with fishnets, stilettos, a tube top, and a mini skirt on under your robes. Then, open it up after school and walk around like that."
"You're on, wench!!! Um, Hermione?"
"Truth." Hermione said.
"Have you had sex?" Ooh. That was a tough one.
"No!!! NEVER! Come on, like I could ever have any type of sexual relationship with a person."
"Okay." Padma said, and waited for Hermione to continue.
"NOW! Hannah!"
"Dare, you drunkard!"
Hermione scowled. "Just for that I dare you to sing Lady Marmalade to Mr. Malfoy."
"FINE THEN!" Said Hannah, who was also Muggle born.
She stepped outside, and so did the others. To their amazement, Malfoy was outside watching the television.
And so Hannah started singing, but first she told him not to listen.
Hermione whacked her.
"Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister--He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge, strutting her stuff on the street. She said, 'Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go, wooahh, gitchie gitchie ya ya da da, gitchie gitchie ya ya here, mocha chocolata ya ya Creole Lady Marmalade, ohh--" She winked at Draco and he stared confusedly.
Then Hannah started gyrating.
"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ah, oh, voulez-vous coucher avec moi yeah yeah yeah yeah--"
Now, Malfoy, who knew at least 3 different languages, blanched and ran away. All the girls started laughing.
(A/N: Malfoy knows French, Japanese, and Latin. HE KNOWS THESE LANGUAGES AND I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM BECAUSE I MADE HIM KNOW THEM.)
"No wait!!!" Hannah yelled after him. "Well I tried my best." Hannah told Hermione.
"Nah, it's okay. Who's next?!"
~*
"I'm bored. Enough truth or dare." Hermione mumbled an hour later. "Let's do something else."
"What time is it?" Padma asked.
"About 12. It's not very late." Parvati said, checking her watch.
"Let's think of what else to do. I know, why don't we think up what we're going to wear to the ball? It's a costume one, right 'Mione?" Ginny said.
"Yeah."
"Ooh let's think of Hermione's costume!!!" Hannah said excitedly.
"Why?"
"You'll need something good!" Susie said.
"Whatever."
Then Hannah whispered something to Ginny, who passed it on to Padma, then Parvati, then Susie.
"Yeah!!" Susie said. Then they all started to surround Hermione.
"What the fuck are you doing?" She said warily, standing up.
Then Hannah pushed her gently into a chair.
"Wh-"
"Hurry Ginnny!!"
"Hurry Ginny what?!" Hermione yelled, Hannah holding her down.
"Oh my god, YOU ARE FREAKISHLY STRONG!" Hannah said.
Then Ginny tied a blindfold around Hermione's head.
"What the fuck!" Hermione yelled, struggling quite a bit.
Then she felt some kind of rope tie itself around her wrist and legs to the chair. "What are you doing?! OH MY GOD!!! EEEEE!" She shrieked.
"Dammit Hermione!" She heard Padma yell.
"Hermione shut the hell up!" Susie said, in the far corner of the room.
"Okay now, Hermione, calm down, it won't hurt." Ginny said soothingly.
"WHAT WON"T HURT?!" Hermione was now screaming.
"Wait, which one should I do?" Parvati asked, to Hannah, as she heard the two of them whispering.
Someone muttered a spell and Hermione tingled. Then murmurs.
"I don't know, was that the painless spell, or the extra pain spell?"
"I don't know, I've no idea!"
"Was it the painless?"
"Who cares? Let's just get it over with so she doesn't get suspicious and kill us all tomorrow!"
"GET WHAT OVER WITH?! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WORDS LIKE PAIN?!" Hermione yelled struggling against her bonds.
(A/N: Remember, she has vampire hearing!!!)
Then she heard a spell that she couldn't recognize.
Then, after that, she felt a huge bolt of fire go through her tongue and she screamed.
"OW! M-OW!!! MOWWER FWUCK! SHWIT! WHAT WA FWUCK DID WOO DO?! OOWW!"
Every time she said something, her tongue was poked by thousands of nettles and pierced by thousands of splinters.
"Well. It must have been the extra pain spell then."
"Yup. Someone untie her."
"Hell no! I'm not going near her!"
Hermione was screaming her head off and was struggling as though her life depended on it.
Finally, someone magically untied the ropes, and she wrenched her wrists free, pulling the bandana off of her head.
"OW! I WILL SWO GET WOO BACK!!!" She ran into the bathroom, and a little bit of blood leaked out of the thing in her tongue.
She licked it up and swallowed it.
She burst into the bathroom, pushing Malfoy away from the sink.
(A/N: Poor dear.he wasn't doing anything. Just sexily brushing his teeth!)
"What the fuck!" He said, as he dodged some toothpaste that fell from the corner of his mouth.
Hermione was examining the silver stud in her tongue. It had stopped bleeding, but not hurting. "Ow!" She mumbled, as she pulled her tongue from her mouth.
Malfoy stood behind her. "No fuck! Heheh, someone pierced their tongue!" He chuckled.
"I dwid not! It was thwose haw-harpies in the next wo-room!" She went back to examining it.
"I mwust find way two twake it wout," She started pulling at it. "OW! FWUCK!" She screamed, but didn't stop.
"Christ, don't do that! It'll hurt more!" He pushed her out of the way. "Now move, so I can finish brushing my teeth."
"Oh, so woo can fwinish brushing wour teeth. FUCK NO!" She yelled at him.
"Shut the fuck up!"
"YOU!"
"NO, YOU!"
"YOU GODDAMIT! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, ASSHOLE!!!"
"Hermione, um, are you okay?" Padma and Parvati stuck their heads in.
"Yeah, why the hell are you yelling things like, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" And "NO, YOU!"?"
"Yeah, why, MALFOY!"
"Okay. Never mind. Hermione! Let's go do something else now. We have to get the rest of your costume prepared."
"Fuck no. I'm not going to do anything else with you. LOOK AT MY FUCKING TONGUE!"
Parvati sighed. "We know Hermione/ No one cares."
Hermione screeched even louder. "NO ONE CARES?!"
"Come on, it's not like there are any rules banning it or anything." Hannah said, coming in behind Parvati.
"THERE ARE MY MOOOORRRAAAL RULES, EVIL DEMONS!!!" She screeched even more loudly than 'even louder'.
"Whatever. Come on Hermione! Bondage pants and black makeup time!"
"What the MOTHER FUCK?!" She started to run away, and ran smack bang into Malfoy because she was half drunk.
The big force of Hermione running into him caused him to trip and then slip backwards into the pool of water in the middle of the floor.
But, as luck would have it, not before pulling Hermione in with him did he break the surface.
All the girls were now standing in the bathroom laughing their heads off.
Malfoy came up swearing and cursing, and then came Hermione sputtering.
"YOU EVIL BITCH!!!" Malfoy yelled, swimming closer and then shoving her head under the water.
"I--am not--EVIL!!!" She said, wrenching out of his grasp and trying to swim away.
"Hey, I want more whiskey." Parvati said busily.
"DEVIL!"
"Yeah, me too." Hannah agreed.
"NO! NO TOUCHEY!"
"I'm tired."
"EVIL!!!!"
"Yeah so am I."
"STAY AWAY!"
"Bye 'Mione."
"STOP KICKING SO I CAN KILL YOU! MY ROBES!"
"Yeah bye."
"OWWW!!!"
"Bye."
"YOU WOMAN DEMON!!!" Malfoy yelled, splashing after her, his robes soaked and causing drag.
"IT WASN'T ME!" She screamed. "Blame them! THEY WANT ME TO BECOME A GOTH OR SOMETHING!"
"I AM ALL WET!"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! LOOK AT MY TONGUE!"
Malfoy collided with Hermione and pushed her under again.
But, she got the upper hand and somehow managed to push him under, but then he flipped her over and held her down.
"AGH! AGGGHHHH!" She yelled, kicking water everywhere.
Then she kicked Malfoy and slipped out of his grasp and swam to the edge. She pulled herself up, but with some trouble because she was so tired.
"No-touch!" She tried to roll away from the edge, where Malfoy was.
Malfoy heaved himself up and rolled over her, smashing her into the floor, while she emitted a loud "OW!"
He crawled away and started breathing heavily.
She turned to him and said, "Now tell me that wasn't annoying."
He crawled back to her and pushed her back in the water.
"Fuck!"
"It was scary, not annoying."
"Yeah right." She said, this time going up the little steps on the other side of the pool. She walked over to him and said, "Get up."
"Why? This is your fault."
"I need to change."
"So?" He replied wolfishly. "You look good like that!" He looked very obviously at her breasts, where the cold air seemed to be directing itself.
She blushed and put her arms around herself. "Now I definitely must change!" Hermione kicked him in the side.
"Ow! I can't help it, I'm male!"
"So what, it's not like females do that!" She said indignantly.
"Yeah right."
"Right."
"Whatever."
"Fine, I'm going to go change in there, if you're so stubborn." She walked over to the door.
"Well I am." He said up to her, still on the floor.
Hermione opened the door and closed it. Suddenly, there were harsh screech- y noises that caused Draco to look up. Then more yelling and screaming that sounded like Hermione and then there were ripping noises and loud exclamations of pain and curses.
Then the door banged open and slammed shut, and a very freaked out Hermione locked it and leaned against it. There were cackling and sniggering noises from the other side.
Malfoy just had to laugh at this.
Hermione was breathing heavily, half changed, still wearing the plaid skirt she was before, but now a black 'The Clash' shirt covered her top. She had weird bright red streaks in her hair, and feathers, obviously from the torn pillow in her hand, where all over her. She had one eye painted in black makeup, and her lips were also black.
"What are you laughing at?!" She said menacingly.
Malfoy just kept on laughing. He rolled over and got up.
"Stop laughing! It's not funny!"
She threw down the pillowcase in her left hand, and then dropped her cargos and her wet robes.
Laughter.
Hermione sighed angrily.
"Crap. I forgot my hair band."
Malfoy stopped laughing. "So go back and get it!"
"What the fuck? ME? Go back there? HELL NO! I am not even going to consider it! I will never go back in there unless I have a gun! Not even to sleep! IMAGINE! SLEEP?! WITH THEM! THEY MIGHT KILL ME! SUFFOCATE ME WITH CONCEALER AND ROUGE!"
Malfoy laughed hard. "Well then where are you going to sleep?"
Hermione growled. "Away from them!" She thought. "I will sleep in your room."
"WITH ME?! ME SLEEP WITH YOU?! IN THE SAME ROOM?!" Malfoy went ballistic.
"No. You are sleeping on the couch."
"BUT IT'S MY ROOM!"
"Not anymore." Hermione rubbed off the eye makeup, then the lipstick.
"Bu- MINE!!!"
"Well then fine. YOU can sleep on the FLOOR." She tried getting rid of the streaks, but no luck.
"Hell NO! It is MY bed. I am sleeping there."
"No, me!"
"I AM!"
"Fine. We can share it."
"WHAT?! THAT'S LUDICROUS!"
"Well you're so picky." It seemed that--*gulp*--the streaks were permanent.
"Crap."
"I need to change. Out."
"NO! WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE TAKEN FROM ME?! MY BED, MY ROOM, THE BATHROOM TIME I HAVE?!"
"Well then turn around, because I will not do a strip show for you!"
"FINE!" Malfoy turned, but kept complaining.
Loudly.
He heard the rustle of pants, and the sound of a zipper being pulled up.
"ARE YOU DONE YET?!"
"Yes, you can turn, but since I am going to bed, it won't make a difference."
"NOOOO!" Malfoy yelled, but Hermione had already run into his room and jumped onto his bed.
"MY BED HAS BEEN DIRTIED! OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!" Malfoy clenched his hands in the air.
"Shut up! I'm tired." Hermione said, pulling up the covers.
"NO! THE LEFT SIDE! MY SIDE!!!"
"I said shut up!"
Malfoy stood there angrily, clenching his hands, mouth open, until he finally went to the drawer and pulled out a set of bedclothes.
(A/N: Mm....imagine....white under shirt and black jeans....*drippy noises as drool spatters on keyboard*....oh, wait, black cargos....jeans are too stiff of a material...mmm...*sizzling noise as I burst into flames*....)
He went to change.
When he came back, Hermione was asleep.
'God.she really does snore.' He thought, and got into bed.
"Uuugggh--" Hermione moaned and seemed to be dreaming. Malfoy got up on his elbows and leaned over her to see if she was okay.
Then, her fist connected with his nose.
"OW! FUCK!" He yelled, and lay back on the bed.
Hermione moaned and sat up groggily. "What happened?" She rubbed her eyes. "Why are you yelling?"
"OW! Why did you PUNCH me? WHAT ARE YOU DREAMING ABOUT?!" He said, holding his nose.
"I punched you? Wow, sorry." She seemed genuinely puzzled.
"What THE FUCK where you dreaming about?!" Malfoy said, glad his nose wasn't broken or bleeding.
"I was at a birthday party."
Malfoy frowned. "And what, did the clown come up to and try to feel you up?"
Hermione blushed, and then frowned herself. "No. It just so happens, I was eating a piece of birthday cake."
~*~*
Now, who is actually like that? I remember kicking my best friend when she tried to wake me up because I thought she was a roach.
Weird, huh?
Hehe--now, in future chappies I plan for Hermione to open a door really fast and miscalculate the distance and have it slam her in the head, then sometime she'll walk into a wall, and maybe Malfoy can walk into a wall.
But he's too noble, so,
I have no idea.
But, of course, there is the fight, then the-
WHOOPS! CAN'T TELL!
And by the way, the way they can fight and then be talking is because of THE BOND THEY SHARE. Yep. I know everything. I am speshal.
AND NOW, A NEW FEATURE! I F YOU WOULD LIKE FOR ME TO EMAIL YOU AND TELL YOU WHEN I'VE UPLOADED, REVIEW AND ASK ME, THEN LEAVE YOUR MAIL ADDRESS!
But don't be a fuck, you have to ASK!!!
I know, I'm the devil. Leave a review, and say you want to join the hordes of my undead zombie people. I'll thank you later, though you all know how much I luv you.DRACO BABY!!!!
BYE BYE!!!
SK
