Authors' Note: (Bar-Ohki) There will be a small Harry Potter reference, he is owned by J. K. Rowling. Um…wow I haven't updated for a long time despite the fact that I had the next three chapters written. *sA: You got grounded and wasn't allowed to use the internet for ANYTHING!!* Yeah, school's out and updates will be more consistent and frequent…hopefully….

Summary: (Bar-Ohki) Pakratt, BIGben, and myself have, for reasons unknown, wound up in SSB HQ. After an odd encounter with Captain Falcon and Link we were taken to Peach. Nana was there too. I carry along my trusty pocket knife and LAPTOPfriend. BIGben has candy and Frodo, the Rubber Ducky that is evil. Pakratt is unconscious (after being knocked out by Link) and is very close to sugar. The chao Hux, Charon, and Rover were delivered here to join us by Mr. Fancy Pants delivery man, who I kicked into oblivion. Hux ate Peach's cake. I love quick summaries, don't you? *Pakratt: I still don't see the point of summarizing 12½ pages of material.* It used to be 3 and now it is 12½, it is only going to get longer. Do you see a point in summarizing 24¾ pages of written material? *Pakratt: Yes.* The story is probably going to get longer than that. *Pakratt: Oh…*

Chapter 5: Harry Potter and hair-cuts.

Peach: I have to make another one now THANKS!!

Bar-Ohki: Bb, have I ever told you how much you look like Harry Potter, especially with those glasses?

BIGben: *hides head in his shirt* I do not!!

Bar-Ohki: If your hair was jet black and you had the scar on your forehead you would.

BIGben: I DO NOT!!!

Hux: Who is Harry Potter?

Everyone turns and stares at the chao.

Peach: Yeah, who IS he?

Bar-Ohki: Character from a book.

Hux: That tells me nothing.

Bar-Ohki: Good!! I like it better that way!

Hux: You are mentally disabled aren't you?

Bar-Ohki: Yes, I have been diagnosed with Asbuger's Syndrome.

Hux: o.O Okay, I meant that sarcastically.

Bar-Ohki: They think Albert Einstein had it and Bill Gates.

Hux: I really do not need to know more.

Peach: That would be what is wrong with YOU. *points to Bar-Ohki* Can you explain the other 2?

Bar-Ohki: Bb was corrupted by his Rubber Ducky Frodo. Pakratt is on a constant sugar hi.

Peach: Okay.

Bar-Ohki: Random event!!

Zelda walks in.

Zelda: What is random of my coming?

Hux: 'Tis the mere fact that no-one excepted thou.

Charon: That and we were doing other things.

Zelda decided not to ask about that. She noticed Pakratt on the floor, in a mangled heap.

Zelda: What happened to him!?

Ear splitting bang comes from outside.

Bar-Ohki: He nor I know how he managed to pull the Master Sword out of his pocket. Link came in looking for it.

Hux: He had it "hidden" behind his back.

Peach: And Link took the sword from the boy and knocked him out.

BIGben: WHERE ARE OUR FROGS!?!?!?!?!

Everyone jumped up and away from the freakish boy.

Hux: What was that???

Peach: Don't worry about that thinks like that happen all of the time.

Pakratt: *conscious* @_@ What happened? I FEEL CORRUPTED…HELP ME IT'S COMING!!!! THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE SEASON…HOMER SIMPSON…PULLS…OFF…THE…BIG…ONE… BY…PULLING…DOWN HIS PAN… *Link walks in and hits Pakratt over the head with the butt of a double barreled shot gun *

Link: This thing does more damage than the Master Sword! You should have seen what it did to the Yoshi looking out the window!!

Zelda: If your friend is corrupted give him this. *Hands a glass to Bar-Ohki*

Bar-Ohki: Orange juice?!?!?

BIGben: NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T ANY OF YOU GIVE THAT STUFF TO MY CORRUPTED FRIEND!!!!!

BANG!!!

Link shoots his shotgun and misses BIGben by just an inch, sending the corrupted fool into a corner to pet Frodo and beg for more frogs before they die of good air…. Bar-Ohki then pours the glass of orange juice down Pakratts throat.

Pakratt: I feel somewhat normal again…

Everyone else: NORMAL?!!!!?!?

Pakratt: Yep! Normal… FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!!

Bar-Ohki: If you are normal, then you will be weird to everyone else, making you abnormal.

Pakratt: Wait! I feel something else coming… I'm back to BEING NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bar-Ohki/Hux: AHH!! WHAT KNID OF THING HAS THE GOD DONE?!?! WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW!!?!

Pakratt: No you do, I am as normal as I always am. IWANTCANDYIWANTCANDYIWANTCANDYI-WANTCANDY!!!

Charon: STOP SINGING OR I WILL GET HUX AND ME TO BEAT YOU ALL UP AND TAKE OVER THIS PUNY WORLD!!!

Everyone else (EVEN HUX): ?_? What?

Pakratt: Sorry…NOT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! GOT YA, HE NEED HELP! LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST…SO EAT MORE CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

C. Falcon: *comes in just to see the three and start to leave again but Link stops him.* Hi…can I get away from these EVIL and demented people?

Link: Yes, in a bit. But first I wanted to give you this… *Link hands C. Falcon the shotgun*

C. Falcon: SSSSSSSSSWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Link!!!! I don't know how to thank you… GET READY TO DIE YOU EVIL MUNCHKINS WHO HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *points shot gun at the trio and fires a random shot* WWHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!!! What a kick back! You sure you don't want it Link?

Link: Na! I miss the good old handy Master Sword…

Pakratt/BIGben: o.O;;; Take it back Link before he blows our heads off…PLEASE!

Rover: CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All: What?

Rover: CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pakratt: Watermelon.

Rover: Cheese.

Bar-Ohki: HaPPy_HearT@muse_mail.com!!

Giant Block Of Cheese falls from sky, landing on C. Falcon.

C. Falcon: UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGG…my head…

Link: Someone should get him aspirin…

C. Falcon: NO, if I'm a really tough fighter I can take on Might Molly the Migraine…. Can I have a lolly pop?

Pakratt: MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE too!!!! IWANTONEIWANTONEIWANTONE!!!!!

BIGben: Frogs?

All: NO!!!!

C. Falcon: Get this hunk of cheese off of me NOW! Before I get my hand free and crack some skulls.

Peach: Let's have cheese and crackers…

Hux: I am NOT having any of that cheese AFTER HE was in it!!!

Pakratt: I think that would make me sicker than I am already…

Bar-Ohki: He admits it!

C. Falcon; Hey, I would eat some of this cheese, maybe… UUUUHHHHOOOOOO!!!! I suggest none of us eat it, there was a LITTLE accident this morning and it has kept me from taking a shower…

All except Rover: NNNNAAAAAAASSSSSTTTTTYYYYYYY, BLECH, Gross… *Half of the people run to the bathroom to take a MAJOR HURL.*

Rover: MMMMMMMMMMM!!!! MMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! That's some GOOD cheese…

Everybody who didn't barf the first time run to barf (Bar-Ohki didn't run ether time).

Rover: What? Was it something I did? Or do I smell?

C. Falcon: GET ME OUT FROM UNDER THIS CHEESE!!!

Rover: Give it a couple of days and I'll have it all eaten…

Picard: *who just appeared 'cause I wanted him to*: You ate the cheese. And that is not a good thing. *disappears*

Bar-Ohki: Merda!! I wanted to- never mind.

C. Falcon: What, make-out?

Bar-Ohki: o.O; What kind of sicko do you take me for!?

Rover: ^-^ *farts* YOSH!!

Bar-Ohki: If only my life was that simple….

C. Falcon: *gags from the seriously poisonous gas* What!?

Bar-Ohki: Look he is getting excited over FARTING! I get excited over much greater things!

C. Falcon: Like making out with that guy!

Bar-Ohki: You despicable, degusting, stupid, Yoshi-hating, piece of rat treasure!!!! *knocks C. Falcon out*

Rover: What did you want to do?

Bar-Ohki: I wanted to give him a "pow pow Picard"!

Rover: Whatever…. ^-^ *farts* YOSH!!!

Picard: *reappears* -I don't want to!! *notices that he is elsewhere* ALEX, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!

Bar-Ohki: Pow pow Picard!! *runs over and glomps him*

Picard: WHAT IS WITH THAT!?!?!

Rover: *farts* YOSH!!!

Bar-Ohki: ^-^ Maybe I will tell you in the next chapter!!

Everyone who had left came back from the bathroom except for Link, who went on with his merry life. Pakratt's hair had been cut.

Bar-Ohki: You got a hair cut!

Peach: *holding nose shut* What is that smell!?

Picard: Get off of me!

Zelda: His hair was such a tangled mat, it looks so much better now.

Rover: How did that happen? *farts* YOSH!!!!

Bar-Ohki: That would be it!

***Flashback***

Zelda: I am going to do something about that boy's hair!!

Peach: Good luck….

Zelda left the bathroom and returned dragging the kicking and screaming Pakratt. She stands him up strait and casts a spell that freezes him in the position. She garbed a pair of scissors and cuts his hair.

Pakratt: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! MY LOVEY HAIR!!! WHY MY HAIR!?!?!?!

Zelda: It is so much better!!

***End of flashback***

Bar-Ohki: Oh, I like it!

Pakratt: *hiding his head in his shirt* No it is not!!

Picard: I have not seen your hair beforehand, thus I can have but one comment.

Pakratt: What?

Picard: You look like a geek.

Pakratt: HEY!!! *charges at Picard*

Bar-Ohki lets go of Picard. Picard then jumps over Pakratt and casts 'Cool' on Pakratt. Pakratt gets cut all over.

Picard: Oops! *casts 'Pure Ply'*

Pakratt: WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!?!?!?!!!!??!!!!

Picard: Automatic battle reflex?

Bar-Ohki: Leave Picard alone! Random event!!

Roy walks in.

Roy: Hey! How did this blue haired guy get in here?

Picard: Alex cast 'Warp' on me.

Bar-Ohki: I wish I knew how I got here….

Roy: Names anyone?

Picard: Picard of Lemuria.

Bar-Ohki: Bar-Ohki, the All-Mighty-Fic-Writer!!

Pakratt: I AM YOUR MASTER!!!!

Hux: Actually his name is 'Pakratt'. I am Hux.

Rover: CHEESE!!!! *eats some more*

Hux: Actually his name is Rover.

BIGben: *raises from the dead* Yez. All hail Frodo!!! *worships duck*

Roy: o.O;; What are you on and where can I get some?

Pakratt: IT'S EVIL, EVIL I SAY!!!!

Peach: His is referring to the Rubber Duck.

BIGben: Frodo!!!

Roy: That must be the name of the duck.

Bar-Ohki: It is.

Charon: I am Charon.

Bar-Ohki: *singing* And he means everything to her. Her boyfriend, he don't know -anything- about her age. Too stone. Nintendo. I wish that I could make her see: she's just the flavor of the week.

Authors' Note: We don't know "Flavor of the week".

Roy: Ooooookay!

Picard: And this is from the lady who runs up and latches herself onto me.

Bar-Ohki: At least I'm not like Jenna, she tackles you.

Picard: Hee….

Roy: You are all a bunch of lunatics!

Bar-Ohki: Oh, and the corrupted kid who looks like Harry Potter, his name is BIGben.

Roy: How can that duck corrupt anything?

Ending Note: I, the random person who exists for this one purpose, am telling you to review and flame if necessary. Have fun and expect more from Bar-Ohki and Pakratt soon!