Authors' Note: (Picard) What is with them running away? Anyway since this is being updated right after two other chapters, I don't have anything to say. Thank you, and please review and rescue me.

Summary: (Picard) I wonder when they will be back…. Bar-Ohki, Pakratt, BIGben, Hux, Charon, Rover, and myself have managed (by some absurd methods) wound up at SSB HQ. Bar-Ohki has her computer and pocket knife, Pakratt has his CD player, BIGben has Frodo and candy, Rover is eating the cheese on top of Captain Falcon, Hux and Charon are following me around to stay sane, and I am about to show Roy what the powers of Mercury can do. Yoshi, Nana, Link, Peach, Zelda, Captain Falcon, and Rover have all came and left. Fox is around.

Chapter 7: Water wins

Fox: Roy, you take Picard down to the battle entry station and I will take the others to the audience section.

Roy: Did you register Picard into the computer?

Fox: No.

Roy: I don't want to register him!!

Fox: You don't have to, he's wearing a Male Wire Frame converter. The computer thinks he's a Male Wire Frame.

Picard: What?

Fox: I didn't want to register him unless I was certain that he was going to join.

Roy: I see.

Pakratt: Is there going to be blood, gore, and all that good stuff?

Bar-Ohki: No.

Pakratt: Why not!?

Bar-Ohki: If it is anything like the game, there won't be.

Pakratt: Dang….

Hux: So BIGben, what about that candy?

Pakratt: GIVE ME MY CANDY!!!!!

Bar-Ohki: Save it for the match.

Pakratt: I want it now!

Hux: Well too bad! *flies up and grabs Pakratt by his shirt collar* Lead the way!

Fox and Roy follow their plan. Everyone is sitting in the audience and BIGben, at long last, gave Bar-Ohki and Pakratt there candy.

Pakratt: MY LOVE!!!! MY WONDERFUL, LOVE!!!!

Bar-Ohki: Freak…..

Fox: Are you okay?

Bar-Ohki: Sometimes I wonder….

Pakratt: She's more okay than I.

Bar-Ohki: Mercury is rising still. Turn off every light. I won't step on my own shadow. No-one wants to cry.

Authors' Note: (Bar-Ohki) I don't know the name of the song, but it is by REM and is on 'Reveal'. We don't own it.

Hux: Or is she?

Picard and Roy are beamed down to the stage on the little Melee coins.

Announcer Guy: READY!?…. GO!!

Roy jumped up and struck at Picard who had moved out of the way just in the nick of time. Picard swung his axe at Roy who countered, sending Picard flying. Picard jumped back onto the stage with very little difficulty.

Pakratt: He must be one of those heavy and strong, yet slow type.

Roy jumped down to meet Picard.

Bar-Ohki: He has average speed, excellent defense and a bit on the heavy side. His attack is average.

Picard rolled behind Roy then swung his axe at him, sending Roy flying.

Pakratt: Interesting combination….

Roy got back onto the stage with ease.

Bar-Ohki: Yup! He has excellent jump too, but a bad saver throw…

Picard jumped away so that he was right across from Roy.

Pakratt: What is his saver throw?

Roy charged at Picard who cast 'Diamond Dust' at Roy which came spurting out like the Ice Climber's 'Blizzard' but further and delivered less damage.

Bar-Ohki: 'Diamond Dust'! 'Warp', it goes about as far as Sheik's vanish thing.

Roy quickly recovered and continued his charge at Picard.

Pakratt: And he makes up for it in jumping?

Picard garbed Roy and begun to hit on the head with the butt of his axe.

Fox: He has to. And what was with the 'Diamond Dust' thing?

Roy managed to get lose of Picard's grasp and slashed at Picard with his sword.

Pakratt: You aren't part of this conversation!

Picard had put up a shield just in time.

Bar-Ohki: He is, and so are the chao.

Picard jumped around Roy and sent him hurtling upward with a upward moving blow from his axe.

Pakratt: Oh…

Picard cast 'Warp' to get to the upper platform just in time to send Roy upward again.

Bar-Ohki: 'Warp'!

Roy came down and struck at Picard.

Fox: What IS with THAT!?

Picard took the hits and escaped down to the bottom platform.

Pakratt: She and I like to play "Name that Move", she knows Picard's moves and I don't.

Fox nodded as Picard cast 'Ply' on himself.

Bar-Ohki: 'Ply'!

Roy came down, sword a-slashing. Picard cast 'Cool' on Roy, freezing him.

Pakratt: 'Cool'!

Picard sent Roy flying and this time Roy became magnified.

Hux: How did you know that one?

Pakratt: He used it on me. ON ME! JUST LIKE ME!!!

Hux: You are disturbing!

Roy came back into view and Picard jumped up to meet him. Picard stabbed his axe upward, like Link does with his sword. Roy went upward again.

Bar-Ohki: Let's cheer Picard on!

Fox: What would that sound like?

Roy came down again just to get sent back up and be KOed. He hit the front of the screen.

Pakratt: You know your chant, right?

Fox: Yeah, it's "Go Fox! *clap clap-clap* "Go Fox!"

Bar-Ohki: Instead of 'go' say 'Pi' and in the place of 'Fox' say 'card'. Repeat after the claps.

Picard set his axe down and whipped the sweat from his forehead.

Picard: Whew!!

Bar-Ohki: Fighter Stance!

Hux: One, two, three!

Everyone in the audience: Pi-card!! *clap clap-clap* Pi-card!! *clap clap-clap*

Roy came back down and used as many powerful blows as he could on Picard. Picard jumped back and healed himself and, oddly enough Roy.

Bar-Ohki: 'Ply'!

Pakratt: How come Roy got healed?

Fox: It didn't matter.

Picard came down and showed Roy his great axe hacking skills.

Bar-Ohki: If it just worked on him, it would be too much of an advantage.

Charon: So it works on Roy too so that it makes someone think twice before they use it.

To make a long struggle short, Roy got knocked off and Picard went about healing himself.

Bar-Ohki: 'Ply'!

Pakratt: But it is still a serious advantage if Roy has minimum health and Picard takes himself up to that level of health.

Bar-Ohki: Wait until you see Roy.

Roy came down and was immune to damage and being sent flying for abnormally long.

Charon: So if you use it when your opponent has no damage they become invincible.

Bar-Ohki: Making 'Ply' a very interesting move.

Announcer Guy: TIME!!

A score board appeared and Picard was in the background as it played the 'Golden Sun Theme'. His axe was on the ground beside him and Picard was getting squirted in the face by his djinn, Shade. Picard looked as though Shade was shooting out the water too hard. The scores were:

Item: Picard's Results: Roy's Results:

KOs: 2 0

Falls: 0 2

SDs: 0 0

__________________________________________

Total: 2 -2

Bar-Ohki: Picard won!!

Ending Note: (sA) What will happen to Picard now that he has beet Roy? What will Become of Roy now that he has lost to someone who is not a Smasher? What will happened to everyone because Pakratt was given sugar? Has Rover finished the cheese? Why didn't BIGben say anything this entire chapter? What is Frodo up to now? What happened to Nana? Why am I doing this? Will Picard get to go home and see his beloved Lemuria again? Will the chao get home? How did Pakratt, Bar-Ohki, and BIGben get here? Why are they here? How did Link get that gun anyways? What is with all that Yoshi killing? How did the cheese get onto C. Falcon? Will I get him mad calling him that? Will he ever know I did? Will I remember what I was going to say next? Is the plot developing? When will be the next update? What crazy song will Bar-Ohki sing only part of next? What will become of Fox? Will I stop asking questions? Will- *gets garbed from behind by Pakratt who takes control* -you review? The answers to these questions and more in the next chapter! Hopefully………..