Ties Together
Session 3~Honostly OK
Lucky Star
Her eyes opened and her back ached. She went to stand up from her bed when she realized she wasn't in her room, or on the couch in front of the TV. Her hands were tied with rope in front of her and the same with her legs. She stood up and saw something move from the corner of her eye. Her eyes quickly scanned the room for movement, there was none. She relaxed and began to work on the knots which kept her hands bound. Someone grabbed her, their rough voice yelling words she couldn't understand as her head began to pound.
"Trying to get away, how cute. Didn't anyone tell you Ms. Valentine, the only way out of here is when I say, and I haven't had any fun yet. Not even a little."
She struggled but he was broader and stronger than her, easily taking her down, the whole time laughing. He reached from behind her and took her wrist and swiftly cracked it, ensuring that Faye couldn't escape.
"I told you to do what I say, but you didn't listen, and now you pay the price."
She fell to the floor, the pain from her wrist unbearable. She slowly drifted off into unconsciousness but not fast enough to forget his rough hands scaling the length of her body.
She awoke covered in sweat, grasping the thin blanket covering her body.
'It was a dream. Only a dream,' her body told her but she knew better, dreams are things that aren't real. That was a flashback of things that had happened. She pulled her knees up as her face was covered with tears. How dare he make her feel this. She swore to herself that she would never let him hurt her again but here she was, crying because of him. She lay back down, closing her eyes, making a small prayer for happier dreams.
~
I just want to feel safe in my own skin,
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
But I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day,
if I was safe in my own skin,
then I wouldn't feel lost and
so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin
And I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel safe in my own skin,
I just want to be happy again.
~
Sleep hadn't returned that night, or the night after, or the night after that. There were moments, though, when it did creep up on her, for only a minute, but even those few seconds when she did fall asleep, all she saw was him. There was no comfort in this sleep; it only made her feel more exhausted. Exhaustion was visible on her face, but no one had noticed yet.
She stood now in front of the mirror, the thin towel covering her body now on the floor. Her eyes scanned her thin frame; most of the bruises that covered her body once had disappeared. The black eye she thought would forever be with her was almost gone. The scars also began to dissolve into her skin, leaving her with no physical evidence of her encounter. She turned around and craned her neck; the long cut which ran along her back still present. He knew that the bruises would fade and the little scars could be healed with lotion and time. The cut on her back was made to last forever, to never let her forget how easily he could win, and how easily he had. She didn't even realize that tears had begun to flow from her emerald eyes.
She jumped as the bathroom door began to shake and Spike began yelling. She quickly wiped her tears and put on a pair of denim shorts, her scars had healed enough so they weren't visible if she wore shorts. Her tank top covered the cut on her back, her only vulnerable spot left.
She opened the bathroom door to find Spike blocking the entire frame. Her mind told her to stop but her body didn't listen as she collided into Spike softly. He looked down at her, their lips a few seconds away from one another. She quickly pulled back and broke his gaze. He did that now, looked at her as though he saw more than what she was. She knew Spike had come to her room the day after it had happened. She couldn't remember the words she spoke, but she knew it was something important because now Spike looked at her as though he could see her soul.
"Did you save any hot water for me?" his lips curved into his trademark smile and her knees felt weak.
"You're going to have to see for yourself," her voice wasn't as smooth as she wanted as she felt her cheeks begin to blush. She pushed him slightly and went to her room. He confused her, one minute there the next gone. It was hard to explain. When his mind wandered to Julia he left her, and his eyes became stone. He confused her more than anyone had ever before. Sometimes it was clear as day what he was thinking, other times impossible. When he thought of the past she couldn't reach him.
She looked around the bear room she had come to call home and went to her bed, lifting the mattress slightly she took the blurred picture of her family. There was a man, a woman, a little girl, and a little boy standing next to the girl. She couldn't see faces except that the girl, boy, and man had deep violet hair. She didn't even know if the picture was real or not, but it was all she had. That and the few meager possessions she carried with her and now ornamented around the dull room. In a way she too became like Spike when thinking of her past, lost. But she was lost in a different way. But even then, they were both still lost in their past.
~song credit to Dido
