Ties Together
Part 10~Only You
Lucky Star
She stepped out of her ship, ready to collapse. She didn't know how long she had sat in her ship crying, all she knew was she only had a few precious hours until her life was someone else's.
Her limbs were heavy from exhaustion. She had never felt so drained of life. Her lids and heart were heaviest of all, each one carrying a weight far greater than it could bear. She leaned against the Redtail, her feet refused to move. She was stuck. She didn't know if it was a mental or physical roadblock. Maybe both.
Somehow she found some strength to move. She made her way to the kitchen; she couldn't remember the last time she had eaten. All she could do was pray Spike was already asleep.
She opened the refrigerator and peered in. Nothing, as usual. She sighed and felt the tears form. She wouldn't even have a last meal.
The thought entered her mind again; her life wasn't even her's anymore. She felt her chest tremble and her legs begin to feel weak, from hunger or fear, she was unsure.
She had lost all will to live but that wasn't enough for death to come and take her. Death would never come and take her because she was Vicious'. She understood what Spike felt, this emptiness that nothing could ever fill, no matter how hard one tried.
She entered the TV room and sat on the crude yellow couch, and once again she felt the tears begin to run down her cheeks. A fate worse than death awaited her. She had made mistakes in her life, that much was evident, but did she deserve what she was going to receive?
"When did you get back?" Spike's voice interrupted her jumbled thoughts and forced her to think about leaving the place she had come to call home.
"I'm leaving," her voice was shaky and shallow. She quickly ran her hands through her hair and restated her proclamation, this time with more conviction, "I'm leaving Spike, for good."
'Make it fast, it hurts less that way,' a sugary woman's voice flashed her head, her mother's voice as she pulled off a bandage covering her knee. She was always falling and hurting herself.
He stared at her. He was directly in front of her; how he got there she wasn't sure. She looked lost, like a child lost in a crowd, or someone who has lost their way. She looked scared, she looked tired.
"No you're not," his voice was smooth and simple, like her life before the accident. She saw him take out a cigarette and light it up, how could this all be so easy for him? A simple no was supposed to change her mind.
She wiped her tears and stood up. This wasn't a fight Spike could win, the results were rigged, there was no changing it.
"I don't care what you say Spike. I'm leaving. I just came to get my things. Then I'm out of your life."
She sidestepped him and tried to make it to her room but instead felt Spike grab her wrist as she walked away.
"It does matter what I say. And I say that you stay," he took a drag of his cigarette and looked up at her, "It isn't just what you want, or what I want, it's what WE want. And I know you don't want to leave."
"Just let me go Spike. It's over, and I'm leaving, forever."
She was facing him now and he had let go of her wrist. They just stared into each other's eyes for a few moments.
He dropped the cigarette and crushed it with his boot before slowly stepping towards her. She backed away. She couldn't handle all this, it was too much.
"Don't do this Spike. Just let me leave." But he didn't listen to her pleas and continued taking small steps towards her, never breaking his gaze into her dull green eyes.
She was lost again, in his eyes.
She felt her back make contact with the cold steel wall and realized she had no where left to go except Spike's arms.
He had gently pinned her against the wall, willing to release her if she asked but such a request never left her mouth. He rested his forehead on her shoulder and felt her arms encircle his neck and her head upon them. He could feel the tears soak into his shirt.
"Spike, I can't. I'm too tired to go through it all again. I'll die," her voice was thin and frail.
"I promise its over. I'm never going to hurt you again. I swear. It'll be different. No more games, no more sneaking around, no more lies, no more hate. Just you and me."
She felt a pain in her chest. It hurt so much she thought she was going to die, "It's too late Spike. I'm leaving." How she found the strength to say those words she didn't know but saying them only caused the pain inside to grow.
"It's never too late for love Faye. Never." He gently kissed her neck and continued, "I love you. It took me long enough to figure it out, but I do. You're the only one I have ever truly loved with all my heart. The only one."
She lifted her head from his shoulder and kissed his lips. A final chance at love.
He tasted like cigarettes. He tasted like happiness.
"I feel like I've been alive for centuries, Spike. Like I'm going to collapse any minute and never get up. I'm just, I'm just so tired. I just want to sleep." He nodded and led her to his room where they lay down together in hopes of sleep.
~
~We suffer everyday, what is it for
These crimes of illusion, are fooling us all
And now I am weary and I feel like I do
~It's only you, who can tell me apart
And it's only you, who can turn my wooden heart
~The size of our fight, it's just a dream
We've crushed everything I can see, in this morning selfishly
How we've failed and I feel like I do
~It's only you, who can tell me apart
And it's only you, who can turn my wooden heart
~Now that we've chosen to take all we can
This shade of autumn, a stale bitter end
Years of frustration lay down side by side
~And it's only you, who can tell me apart
And it's only you, who can turn my wooden heart
~It's only you, who can tell me apart
And it's only you, who can turn my wooden heart
~
Faye's mind was spinning faster than light, as one thought entered, another departed, and another entered.
All she wanted to think about was Spike, about how his arms held her safely, about how she was the only women he had loved, about how he was the only man she was willing to die for. The only one for each other, just like Julia and Spike before. And this love story too had a tragic ending.
She could feel his breathing even out and his heart beats fall into a rhythmic patter like his breath. He was asleep.
"I've always dreamed of this Spike, even before my accident. Before I became this Faye, I knew that somewhere there was someone waiting for me. Even in the other time I felt like I didn't belong, like something was missing, that was you. I don't remember much Spike, just some flashes of happy moments surrounded by family who loved me but I know you were what I was waiting for, what I was looking for. You were the hope in my eyes, the happiness. I know that this was all meant to be, I was meant to meet you, to fall in love with you, and then," her voice had been a whisper, and now she held back tears trying to continue, "Spike, just hearing those words come from your lips, can last me another fifty years. That's all I ever wanted, needed. Those three words and I can die happy." She moved a small piece of his hair off his forehead and gave him a small kiss, "All I will ever need." She laid her head down on his chest and listened to his heart slowly falling asleep…
Song Credit: Portishead
Wow…that update only took like three months! Anyways, hope everyone enjoyed the newest installment (sorry it's talking so long, it's getting harder to conclude the story…but don't worry, I'll figure it out) other good news: schools out! This hopefully means that I can update more often (as long as I have some inspiration *cough* *reviews* *cough*)
Thanks for reviewing!
-sorry it's short too
