"So which way do you think we should go?" Andromeda asked, scratching her head.

"That way." Severus replied, pointing down to the left beach.

"I think we should go the other way." Andromeda said, shrugging.

"Then why did you ask me?" Severus asked, annoyed.

"Here. We'll do rock paper scissors." Andromeda said, putting out her hand in a fist.

"Hey!" Gilderoy exclaimed. "I'm the group leader! I want to choose!"

"Fine." Andromeda said, wearily. "Which way do you want to go, Gilderoy?"

"That way!" Gilderoy said, pointing to the ground.

Andromeda turned to Severus. "Here. We'll do rock paper scissors..."

They had been sitting on the beach for quite some time now, waiting for Ramar to come back. Remus and Sirius were hunting for Gilderoy's original head, and Severus and Andromeda were bickering about which way they should go.

"That way looks less sandy!" Severus yelled, as Andromeda put her fingers in her ears and yelled "NOT LISTENING!"

"Really," Sirius said to Remus, "And they're always telling us we're immature."

There was a thumping noise coming from down the beach. Everyone stopped yelling or talking, and realized that it was the sound of running. Sure enough, Ramar was sprinting as fast as her legs would carry her.

"Karkaroff!" Ramar yelled as soon as she was within earshot. "I found Karkaroff!"

"What?" Andromeda said, taking her fingers out of her ears.

"I found Karkaroff!" Ramar exclaimed. "He's dead!"

Severus's face turned a deadly shade of white. "Dead?" He asked, calmly.

~*~

"That's him." Ramar said, as they ran to the slump of a body that was Karkaroff. There were a couple crabs scuttling along his face and hands.

"He's dead alright." Remus said.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Sirius said, pushing to the front of the group to get a better view.

"Lovely." Andromeda said. "What is he doing here?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't have come to you, would I?" Ramar said, putting her hands on her hips in an annoyed kind of figure.

"Sorry." Andromeda said, a bit more timid than usual.

"Gilderoy, don't do that!" Sirius said, as Gilderoy poked Karkaroff with a stick.

"Oh," Gilderoy whined. "You never let me have any fun."

"What does this mean?" Remus asked himself. "Did you find anything else, Ramar?" Ramar shook her head.

"I know what you seek." A deep voice called from behind the group. They all turned around, and in astonishment, they saw a huge, hulking, black bear.

"Hello." The bear said.

The others just stood there.

"Are we supposed to play dead or run?" Ramar asked. "I forget what to do with which bear."

"Maybe we can get it to eat Gilderoy." Andromeda whispered.

They all silently pushed the quite oblivious Gilderoy forward, who was still playing with the stick used to poke things.

"I'm not going to eat you." Said the bear. "I'm a vegetarian."

"That's what they all say." Sirius said, skeptically.

"No, really." The bear said. "See! I have some celery! I'm just a perfectly normal vegetarian bear."

"No you're not!" Sirius replied. "No normal creature eats celery!"

"I'm allergic to carrots." Said the bear.

"A likely story!" replied Sirius.

"Fine." The bear said. "I'm not a vegetarian. I'm quite the carnivore." The bear slumped and looked ashamed. "Do you think I could just have someone's arm or leg? I'm quite peckish."

"Take Gilderoy!" Ramar said happily.

"I don't like stupid." The bear said. "It doesn't agree with me."

"It doesn't agree with us, either." Severus murmured.

"But, as I was saying," The bear said, clearing his throat, and putting on a mystic voice, "I know what you seek."

"Really?" Severus said, "Because we don't and we'd really like to know what the hell we're doing out here."

"Look above you." The bear said, pointing up. The group did as they were told, and sure enough, a big, green, faded dark mark stood hovering over them.

"It's new." Severus said. "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named might very well be closer than we anticipated."

"But, I thought," Andromeda said, "I thought this was supposed to be a mock- Hey!" Andromeda kicked the bear, who was chewing on her leg.

"Sorry." The bear said, licking his chops. "I should really introduce myself. I'm Gladly the cross-eyed bear."

"But you're not cross-eyed." Ramar said.

"You don't have to remind me!" Gladly said, putting his head down in shame. "I was a disgrace to my parents."

"I like cheese." Gilderoy squeaked.

"Me too!" Gladly exclaimed.

"They both like cheese, they're both a disgrace," Sirius said, "It's a small world."

~*~

"So we actually sent them on a REAL mission?" Albus asked, for the fourth time.

"Yes!" Minerva replied, massaging her temples. "For the last time yes!"

"Sucks to be them." Albus said.

"Aren't we going to do something about it?" Minerva asked.

"Minerva," Albus said, "We sent out best people out with Gilderoy. They can defend themselves."

"I hope you're right." Minerva said, looking out the window in the direction of the forest. A piece of paper flew in through the window, and Minerva caught it. It was the map she had drawn for the group.

~*~

And so, the craziness of the chapter is over. I've had one too many chocolate chip cookies... and I need another... For all who wish to know: there is now a prequel to all these stories, as requested. It's not psycho humour, but it's a fun read. It's called "London Café". Peace out! ~ Jerri