Muffin castle could be seen clearly from the gummipath. It was a dark, desolate place, obviously the poster castle for pain and suffering.

"Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!" Sirius said, clapping his hands together.

"Where did Gladly go?" Andromeda asked as they walked down to the castle.

"He decided to become the ambassador for real bears in gummiland." Severus said.

"Really?" Andromeda asked.

"No." Severus replied, slightly amused. "When Gilderoy was eating the gummiarmy, he mistook Gladly for a gummibear."

"Ooh, look, a bridge!" Gilderoy exclaimed. Sure enough, there was a big, rickety bridge over a pool of molten lava that led to the castle.

The bridge looked like it was infested with termites, and even as the group looked at it, it was deteriorating.

"Well, ladies first." Sirius said, pushing Ramar forward.

Ramar spilled out onto the bridge, but quickly disapparated and then apparated on the other side.

"That's not fair!" Sirius whined. "I never got my license!"

Ramar stuck out her tongue.

"Children, please." Andromeda said, stepping out onto the bridge. "It's not that bad. Let's go."

They all stepped onto the bridge. Andromeda, then Remus, Sirius, Snape and Gilderoy.

They were about half way over, when there was an awful snapping sound, and the piece of the bridge that was holding up Gilderoy collapsed under him.

The atmosphere was rather casual as Gilderoy flailed and screamed for his life.

"So." Sirius said, "What do we do?"

"Step on his fingers!" Severus pleaded. "PLEASE!"

"Help him up, I guess." Andromeda said.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, about to help Gilderoy up, "Who knows when we'll have an opportunity like this again?"

"Yeah," Andromeda said, "Help him up."

~*~

The inside of the castle was massive. The whole place was stone and mold, and it was a cold and lonely place to be. The echoage was awesome, thought.

"Hello? (hello hello)" Sirius said. "Hey, cool! (cool cool) ECHO (echo echo)"

"Sirius, must you be so childish?" Severus asked.

"You're just jealous, because you don't have an echo (echo echo)." Sirius replied smugly.

Gilderoy looked like he was about to have a spaz attack.

"Gilderoy," Andromeda asked. "What's wrong?"

He drew in a squeaking breath. "There... (eep) are... (eep) No... (eep) MUFFINS!!!"

With that, he broke down crying.

"There, there." Andromeda cooed, patting the man-child's back awkwardly.

Severus was just about to make a rude comment, when the glissando of a honky tonk piano sounded.

"Oh, god, no!" Severus whispered. "It's..."

A jazz theme began to play, and a spotlight hit a place in the palace where a fat, bald man, (Peter Pettigrew) was holding up the shriveled figure that was Voldemort.

"Ahem," Voldemort began to sing:

"I am the villain,
yes the villain,
I'm the guy who people rely on to kill 'em.
Oh, some people say that I'm no Sinatra,
But one Crucio curse and I gotcha!
Oh, I'm the villain, yes, the villain,
I'm a legend to every girl and boy,
I am the epitome of scariness,
Take it, Malfoy!"

And then, the scariest part of all began. Lucius Malfoy came out and did a tap-dance.

"Faster, Malfoy." Voldemort bellowed. "Don't make me take away your cool mask!"

"Yes, master!" Lucius said, tapping faster.

Voldemort decided to curse Malfoy unconscious, and sing the rest of his song.

"I may not be too pretty, but-..."

"Hey!" Sirius complained. "That's the sorting hat song, plagiarist!"

"Let me finish!" Voldemort replied, putting on a sparkly top hat.

"Yes, I'm the villain,
The best of all villains,
And you should all bow down to me!"

Awkward silence.

"You know, you shouldn't use too much vibrato..." Andromeda began.

"SILENCE!" Voldemort said, having Pettigrew raise his wand. "And now, prepare to die!"

~*~

Bum bum badum! One more chapter to go!!!