Chapter 1: Ms. Figg

"Get up boy! Time for breakfast!" yelled Uncle Vernon.

With a tired and worn-out face, Harry Potter got out of bed. Being no ordinary boy, Harry was a wizard. Harry headed down the stairs, sleepily, and went into the kitchen of his aunts and uncles house.

"Hurry up and eat your apple Harry, It's Dudderkins birthday!" roared aunt Petunia.

"Great," said Harry sarcastically.

After a pitiful breakfast, Harry joined his horrible aunt and uncle, not to mention a fatter-that-supposed-to-be-even-though-he-is-on-a-diet cousin Dudley. Of course Dudley looked a good 25 pounds heavier considering that his bottom now hangs 5 inches off the chair. Harry watched longily as big fat Dudley opened 46 presents.

"Hey, this is 2 LESS THAN LAST YEAR!" roared Dudley as his 6 chins bobbled with rage.

"Oh, we have 3 special ones for you!" said Uncle Vernon as he passed Dudley a fat envelope.

Harry watched intently as Dudley ripped open the envelope. Excited, Dudley screamed, "WOW, I CANT BELEIVE YOU GOT ME 3 TICKETS TO PENNSYLVANIA!!!! SWEET!!! Is Harry going?"

"No," said Uncle Vernon quickly.

"Sweet," smirked Dudley.

"What??!!? Why not?" said an enraged Harry.

"We do enough for you already boy! Now go to your room and enjoy your last night in this house! You're going to be at Ms. Figg's house the rest of the summer." yelled Uncle Vernon.

"Ms. Figg??!!?", protested Harry

"What the fu-," Harry stopped in mid-sentence and though better of it. Not wanting to get abused by Uncle Vernon, Harry stormed up to his room and jumped on his bed.

"Oh well, at least that's a Dursley-less summer. But Ms. Figg..." though Harry.

Next morning, Harry woke up to the sound of hustling and bustling around Dudley's room... He then heard a pair of heavy feet going down the stairs; Harry assumed they must have been Dudley's. With a brilliant idea, Harry creeped into Dudley's room with a dungbomb. Seeing an open suitcase full with whitee-tightees, Harry couldn't miss the opportunity. Harry whipped the dungbomb, and it landed perfectly so that it exploded and covered all of Dudley's whitees. It made it look like Dudley crapped his pants billions of times. Stealthily, Harry crept back to his room and tried to stifle down his anticipating giggles.

About an hour later, Harry heard 2 pairs of footsteps. He concluded that one must be Petunia's and the others Dudley's.

Listening intently, Harry waited for it.

"OH MY GOD DUDLEY!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?" screamed aunt Petunia.

"I don't no.I-I-I-couldnt-no-never-I-never-done-this!" blabbered Dudley.

Trying to stifle his enormous fit of laughter, Harry jammed his pillow over his face.



"Dudley? Dudley? How... Why... Oh, it doesn't matter. We'll buy you some extras on the way there," said a ting-to-be-calm-in-a-crisis Aunt Petunia.

"Eww, do I have to wear these?" asked a bewildered Dudley.

"For right now, yes," answered Aunt Petunia.

"But they smell, and they are lumpy and uncomfortable ," complained Dudley.

"I am sorry but you have to," replied Aunt Petunia.

An hour later, and surprised that he wasn't accused or threatened, Harry went downstairs for breakfast. Silently enjoying the hilarity of it, Harry watched in amusement as Dudley walked ,or more precisely waddled, into the kitchen. A foul smell came to the table.

Aunt Petunia gave Dudley some bacon and eggs, while giving Harry a pitiful raspberry the size of a quarter. After breakfast, Harry's uncle remarked, "Harry, we are leaving now. MOVE! I SAID MOVE. NOW!!!"

Quickly, Harry jammed on his shoes and ran next-door to Ms. Figg's. Harry stared as Dudley, Petunia, and Vernon all crammed into a huge van and drove away...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry knocked on Ms. Figg's door. NO answer. He knocked again. No answer. POP. Harry turned around. He saw a much younger looking Ms. Figg.

"What the..." said Harry.

"I have something important to explain to you, Harry," said a calm Ms. Figg.

"Why are you...How are you...." cried a confused Harry.

"Come in. I shall tell you over a nice cup of Pepsi (haha didn't c that coming did you?)," insisted a young-looking Ms. Figg.

While walking inside, Harry noticed something strangely different... "Where are all of your cats?" asked a pondering, confused Harry.

"I will tell you over a cup of Pepsi (still didn't c that coming did u), please don't ask anything more because I already told you: I WILL TELL YOU OVER A CUP OF PEPSI (man you just aren't catchin on, are you?)!!" said an annoyed Ms. Figg.

They walked into a kitchen looking a lot like the Wesley's kitchen. It even had a clock that instead of numbers, it said things like: work, traveling, home, and mortal peril. Ms. Figg grabbed 2 cans and opened em with "A WAND!!!!" screamed an excited Harry.

"Yes, so what?" asked Ms. Figg.

"I thought you were a muggle," exclaimed Harry, "I didn't know..."

"Of course you didn't Harry, no one around this place knew." said Ms, Figg as she sipped some Pepsi (come on, don't u get it yet?).

"Oh, well, where are your cats?" asked Harry.

"Well, first of all, they aren't mine. Secondly, the aren't cats. They are aurors. We all stated here on orders to keep watch and protect you." replied Ms. Figg.

"Who sent you?" asked Harry.

"Dumbledore, of course," said Ms. Figg in a pleasant tone, "Each summer, 13 hand-picked aurors came over here as transfigured cats and I took aging potion. We just kept watch over you for the past 14 years of your life. The only reason they aren't here this year is because of you coming over here, and it just getting so crowded. You see, I gave tickets to your uncle and asked if I could take you in for the summer. He accepted gladly, though I don't no why. Well, I believe you want your Hogwarts things? I'll go get them... Within 10 minutes of looking around, Harry hear a "pop" closeby and saw Ms. Figg holding Harry's snowy owl Hedwig, his top-of-the-line racing broom, and his trunk. Having an idea, Harry asked, "Can you show me where my room is?"

"Of course, my dear," said Ms. Figg.

She led him up a short flight of stairs and showed him his room. He absolutely loved it! It had pictures of broomsticks, Quidditch pitches, and other stuff he loved posted up all over the walls.

"I have, er..., had a son that lived here once." Ms. Figg said.

Harry peered at the room across the hall. For some reason, it had bunnys and pink all over. Just then, Ms. Figg said, "I expect you'll want to write a letter to Sirius."

"Wha... How'd you..." Harry got cut off.

"He and I were old school friends. We both went to Hogwarts. I already know he is innocent. Remus told me. Don't worry about it," said a calm Ms. Figg.

"Where is he?" cried Harry.

"I believe at Remus's house," she said.

"Lupin?"

"Yes. Please, no more questions. I must go downstairs and prepare the er... the... dinner"

"Wha..." Harry was cut off by the sound of the door closing.

Harry decided he might as well just write to Sirius. He would ask how he is doing. After about 20 minutes, Harry looked over his letter to Sirius.

Dear Sirius,

Right now, I am at Ms. Figg's house. How are you? How come you never told me she was a witch? I am worried about you. I want you to stay put and don't follow me. I definitely do not want you to be caught. How is Lupin? Tell him I said hi. Ron said that he is teaching this year, is that true? Do you know who our new defense against the4 dark arts teacher is? Well hope you write back soon.

Love,

Harry

Satisfied, Harry tied the letter to Hedwig's leg and let her take flight. He then relaxed on his comfortable orange and gold colored bed. He though about Hogwarts and his friends. He though about Sirius, Lupin, and other teachers. He though about Cedric and Voldemort. So much was going through his troubled mind.

Feeling drowsy, Harry decided to put his head down on the comfortable pillow. In 20 minutes, Harry was fast asleep dreaming...