Title: Futile Pain

Author: Emily Anderson

Rating: PG

Anime: Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz

Brief Summery: Pain can leave a forever lasting impression on a person's heart. Never to be washed away… The scars on Heero's heart will never be erased.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything relating to Gundam Wing. I don't plan on making claims to. I just write because I love to write.

Feedback: Please do… I love knowing if I am a decent writer or not.

The snow… In the times I had fear the most… I remembered the snow, at moments like these, when I awoke in a sweat. The pain throbbed in my chest, making me want to just cry, but I wouldn't. No, I couldn't. I don't cry.

It was just hard to believe that I really had been apart of such painful fighting. But really… it isn't. I mean, my skills have excelled those around me and rivaled many, those I fight with as my allies only compare to the skill I have.

Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wu Fei… they were my… friends, you could say. Now they were only distant traces on my memory. It pains me to think even of them. Marks of my past, scars on my soul. They were so pure and so faulted. It is strange the lot of us.

And then I remember the puppy. The flower. The girl… The girl who made me smile. She was pure innocence and in an act of pure chaos, pure destruction, she died. It was by my own hands in a way that she had died. If only I had been more careful. If only it hadn't been at that time. If only…

Then there was the snow. A gentle, but cold blanket, that tried to wrap itself around me. It seemed as if it wanted to will away my pain, ease the suffering. I love the snow for this reason. It is the only companion I can remain with forever, the only love I will ever be able to hold so close and never be able to touch.

Pure and delicate flakes, they reflected the innocence of the girl. It almost seemed as if it were trying to tell me something. If only I could know what it was. Maybe… that the girl really hadn't died? She was… reborn as an angel… Maybe that's what the snow was trying to whisper to me on that cold and bitter night.

The scar I bear now from then is unseen by any and none shall know of my mistake of the past. I can only live with the pain in my heart… and the newly fallen snow. A child's toy that was so kind to me on that night. A friend that will always share my memory and never speak such dreadful irony to any.

As now… I fall asleep in the snow.

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Heh, sorry this is so short… but I just needed to jot down this fic. My mind was racing and I wanted to write about the snow… Erm, yeah… I hope it was okay. ^^; Thanks for reading it!