Rating: R
Spoilers: All the canon books, but particularly PoA
Story Summary: James Potter is alive, and Harry hates him. What happened? How did he come to be alive? And why isn't Harry grateful?
Chapter Summary: Harry learns what the wizarding world thinks of Sirius Black…and he learns that his dad is not dead, and where he has been for all of Harry's life. Remus and Snape have a conversation.
Disclaimer: Rowling owns them all. Everyone who is involved in fanfiction, whether it be writer or reader, knows that.
Author's Note: This is the same setting as the one in PoA, where Harry gets the Marauder's Map and sneaks into Hogsmede. The conversation is pretty much the same, but I didn't take it word for word from the book. So if it seems familiar in some parts, it's meant to be. Oh, and I found a…mistake, if you will. Remus is supposed to be "out sick" on Christmas Day in PoA. That's in 1993. But the full moon was on December 18th of that year. So I left it open, and didn't specify when it is in this chapter. Next chapter-expect a look into Peter's head. He's not as bad as he seems. Maybe. Please review!
Chapter 4
December 16th, 1993
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Butterbeer sounded good to him, so when Ron shouted the suggestion of the drink that 'warmed your insides,' he readily agreed to the Three Broomsticks, dragging Hermione along behind them.
Right before they went in, Harry heard Hermione shouting something behind him. He turned, making Ron stop in his tracks to see what the hold up was, as well. There was a notice posted up outside the door to one of the shops.
ATTENTION TO ALL HOGSMEDE VISITORS AND RESIDENTS: Dementors will be patrolling the town's streets at sundown until dawn. Any person seen outside at nighttime will be taken for questioning. Apprehension of the murderer Sirius Black will cause the Dementors to leave, so any knowledge of the whereabouts of Black should be reported to the Magical Law Enforcement Squad's office immediately. Merry Christmas!
Shuddering, Harry tried to ignore the sounds of his mum's screams in his head. Dementors in Hogsmede. I wonder how long it will be before they're allowed in Hogwarts? He cast a nervous glance around, catching nothing out of the ordinary. The swirling flakes of snow brushed through his hair and seemed to chill him to the bone, but the people bustling in and out of the different shops didn't seem to notice it, for they were all wrapped in heavy cloaks and robes. Harry had forgotten his robe when he came through the tunnel into the basement of Honeydukes.
"Come on, Harry? You're going to freeze to death if you stand about!" Hermione tugged on his arm, looking worried. "Are you alright?"
Shaking himself, but not entirely from the cold, Harry followed his friends inside the small inn. The room was crowded, wizards and witches crammed at the bar and nearly every table. Seeing a free booth near the back, Harry pointed.
"That's Madame Rosmerta," Ron pointed to a busty witch with a pretty face. His face reddened a little. "I'll go get our drinks while you two go save that table for us." He hurried off in the direction of the bar, and Hermione pulled him through the crowd by his arm.
After settling in on one side of the booth and shaking the snow off of her heavy cloak and setting it down onto the seat beside her, Hermione gave Harry a tight smile. "At least we won't be here at night, right? So you won't have to be near those...awful THINGS."
Harry nodded, his jaw clamped shut. He didn't want to talk about what the Dementors did to him. He didn't want to discuss the voices that he heard when he got too close to the dreaded creatures. Instead, Ron walked up with three foaming mugs of butterbeer, and Harry took a huge gulp.
It warmed him immediately. Smiling, he took another swallow, and then set the mug down in front of him, keeping his cold hands wrapped around the warmth. He turned to Ron, who had sat down next to him. "You can use the Map anytime you want, you know. After all, it was YOUR brothers who gave it to me. It's yours by rights, anyway."
Ron rolled his eyes, shaking his red bangs away from his face. "My whole family loves you more than they do me. It's insane, really. My mum, Fred and George..." He paused, grinning. "Ginny..."
Feeling his face burning up, Harry chose to stop looking at his friend's wicked grin and instead turned to face Hermione. "So, what are you..."
He trailed off as he caught Ron's gasp, hearing the door open. Turning to look at who had come in, he felt his heart jump into his throat.
Harry didn't need to be told twice to duck down underneath the table as soon as he heard the voices of Professors Flitwick and McGonagall carry over from the doorway of the Three Broomsticks. It was rather cramped, with Ron's long, bony legs on one side of him, taking up the most space, and Hermione's bare calves on the other side, since her skirt only came to her knees, and her robe was open. He tried not to think about it, and concentrated on what he could do to get out without being caught. He wasn't supposed to be in Hogsmede without permission.
Hermione moved the Christmas tree partially in front of the table, so now Harry had to peer through the branches to see what was going on. Unfortunately, all he could see was a man's legs and feet, a woman's, and what could only be Hagrid's and Professor Flitwick's feet as the four sat at a table nearby. He picked out the Minister of Magic's voice, Cornelius Fudge, at once.
"Over here, Madame, why don't you sit for a few moments and have a drink with us?"
Madame Rosmerta's dainty little feet carried her over to their table and handed out drinks. She complained about the Dementors that were roaming the streets of Hogsmede, scaring away all the customers.
"Ah, but it is only necessary, Madame. With Sirius Black on the loose, we need to take every precaution..." Fudge was saying. Harry could do nothing but listen.
"You know, if you had asked me before if I could have suspected Black to be a cold-blooded murderer before all of that happened, I would have told you that you had too much to drink!" Madame Rosmerta was saying. "Him and that James Potter-how much trouble those two boys gave me!" She laughed sadly.
"Like brothers, those two were," Flitwick commented. Harry was stunned. He had been told by Arthur Weasley that Sirius Black had escaped to come after Harry, but he had no idea that this killer had been his dad's friend. He thought that he shouldn't have been TOO surprised, however, considering that he didn't know anything about his father at all. No one had ever answered any questions about him when asked, always shifting the conversation to his mother, and how she had died, and how her sacrifice had saved his life when he was a little baby. But his dad? No one had ever told him anything. Harry figured that his dad must have been a painful subject for everyone to talk about. But then, why would they be willing to discuss his mother? He vaguely noticed that Ron's previously twitching leg had gone completely still. Flitwick continued. "Always playing pranks, riling up the rest of their House. They both hold the record for the most detentions ever, you know. And they both seemed to encourage each other, like it was some kind of contest!"
"I expect that it was," said McGonagall sadly. "To think of what happened later, you would have never guessed..."
Fudge cleared his throat, lowering his voice. "Actually, there are some facts that aren't very well known about them two. Peter Pettigrew, the one that Black killed, he kept a diary. It contained some very detailed accounts from their school days and afterwards together."
"Pettigrew?" Madame Rosmerta seemed to pause. "I don't remember him."
"He's the one of their close friends that cornered Black in the street full of Muggles. Black caused an explosion that blew twelve Muggles and Pettigrew himself to bits. Muggle police had to release a statement about a gas explosion to cover it up, while the Magical Law Enforcement Squad got there right away and carted Black off to be questioned. They found him laughing in the middle of the street, too. Must have been completely off his rocker, then. The MLES sent the only part they could find of Pettigrew, his finger, in a box back to his mother, along with the comfort of a title of Order of Merlin, First Class for him," Fudge told her.
"He was the fat boy in their little group. I remember, I used to give him such a hard time-he was terrible at Transfiguration," McGonagall said. "He was always looking up to his friends, following them around, taking pictures of them. Of course, you can imagine how badly I feel now for the way I treated him..." She sounded choked up.
"There, there, Minerva," Flitwick said. "It's not like any one of us knew what would happen. I mean, to think-James Potter or Sirius Black, a Death Eater?"
A strange roaring sound filled Harry's ears, and he couldn't seem to think straight. His father, a Death Eater? What were they saying? Maybe this was why people always seemed to avoid talking about his father, always changing to subject to his dead mum whenever he had asked before. Maybe they didn't want him to know about his dad. They didn't want him to grieve for a Death Eater.
"And Black was aiding him. You see, the Potters had to go into hiding, because You-Know-Who was seeking them out. It seemed like he knew just where they would be, every time. Albus suspected one of the Potters' close friends, and he warned them, but they didn't listen. They chose to go into hiding, and James insisted that Black be the Secret Keeper," explained Fudge.
"Secret Keeper?" Madame Rosmerta asked. "What's that mean?"
Flitwick spoke up. "There's a charm called the Fidelius Charm. The person who is the Secret Keeper holds a secret that can only be unlocked by that person willingly. Can't even be tortured out of them-it has to WANT to come out. If Black had not told You-Know-Who where the Potters were hiding willingly, then You-Know-Who could have been looking through the sitting window of the Potters' house and never found them."
"How did everyone know that Black was the Potters' Secret Keeper?" asked Madame Rosmerta.
This time, Hagrid spoke up, a tremble in his voice. "They told Dumbledore beforehand, didn' they? When I arrived at the Potters' house tha' night, I found Lily an' James, an' I met up with Sirius Black. I didn' know he had been the Secret Keeper. He wanted to take little Harry, saying he was his Godfather, but I told him I had my orders, o' course. He instead gave me his bike ter ride." He paused. "At the time, I had thought that both James an' Lily were dead. An' I COMFORTED tha' murderin' traitor! To think, I almos' gave lil' Harry up to a cold-blooded killer!"
Harry felt one of Ron's hands settle on his shoulder, and Hermione's on the other. He feared that one of his Professors would discover him by hearing his heartbeat in his chest.
"But you didn't Hagrid, and that's all that matters now. He'll get what's coming to him. And ah, James Potter. Such a shame, really. Would think he was innocent, except for the evidence against him, of course," Fudge commented.
"Yeah, I heard about the diary before-I suppose it was Pettigrew's? And the pictures?" Flitwick had an almost eager tone in his voice.
Fudge sighed. "Yes, there was that. Pettigrew described in great detail of the supposed love affair between Potter and Black in that diary of his. It was all behind poor Lily's back, too. Some of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad found the diary and some of the pictures of the two in Pettigrew's bedroom at his mother's house, and his mother herself turned a few more in. It was obvious, the love between those two. They were extremely close in those pictures." He lowered his voice. "But that wasn't the biggest thing. I was in the Department of Magical Catastrophes at the time, and I was one of the ones present for the investigation of James Potter's wand. We did a Prior Incantatem on it, and the last spell used had been the Killing Curse. Lily was definitely killed by that curse. He was assisting You-Know-Who in killing off Lily and Harry, so he could be with his lover, Sirius Black."
A silence fell over the table, and Harry was trying to control his breathing. He never knew, he never KNEW any of this, and no one had ever told him. Was he that young? Did they really think he was too innocent and carefree to handle this?
"O' course, Black had ter be a Death Eater, too. After all, he's the one who was the Secret Keeper, so he obviously revealed where the Potters were." Hagrid sniffed. "Poor Harry. Lily was such a great woman. He would have loved to grow up with her, I'm sure. Would've made up for his good-for-nothin' dad."
"Yes, Potter and Black were kept on separate sides of Azkaban, so the two wouldn't conspire together. Obviously, they would have been happy to be together, so we had to make sure to prevent that. What bothered me was the fact that when I was there, Black seemed so NORMAL. That was only a month before Black escaped." Fudge sighed. "Potter, though, seemed a little crazy. Kept crying out in his sleep. Couldn't understand him, but one of the guards told me that he heard him call Black's name once."
All was quiet then, as the teachers finished their drinks, an occasional sniffle interrupting the silence. Harry didn't dare move. He was too much in shock, at that point, though. His father, James Potter, was alive. In Azkaban, but alive, nonetheless. Harry didn't know what to think. He had already decided that he hated Sirius Black. Did Hagrid say that Black was his Godfather? And Hagrid knew about his dad? Why hadn't he told him all of this? Why hadn't Dumbledore?
"Well, it's time for me to start heading back," Flitwick said, his high voice breaking the silence. "Minerva, Hagrid, are you coming?"
Chairs scraped as the five stood up. As soon as the three teachers bid goodbyes to Fudge and Madame Rosmerta, Ron and Hermione's faces appeared under the table. They were both staring at him with looks in their eyes that conveyed exactly what Harry felt.
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Remus Lupin sighed as he pushed the stack of essay parchments aside, leaning his forehead onto his desk. He was sitting in his classroom, pondering why he had not gone to Hogsmede with the rest of the professors. But you know why, Lupin, he told himself. It was getting close to the full moon, and he always felt rather sick when it approached. He hated the concerned looks and the questions. "Are you all right, Professor?" "You don't look so good, Remus." "You look as if you could eat a whole student, Lupin."
The last had come the day before, from Snape. Black robes had swished as Snape had walked into the classroom that evening, the Wolfsbane Potion smoking from the goblet in his hand. Familiar sneer in place, Snape had made the comment, to which Remus had said nothing.
Remus' thoughts were interrupted when a persistent knock on his door broke through them. Sighing, he held his head up and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Come in."
It was Snape. Another goblet of the Wolfsbane Potion was clutched in his long fingers. If Remus didn't know better, he would have thought that Snape wore the same black, billowy robes every day. As it were, he knew that Snape probably had dozens of identical sets made for him at the beginning of each year.
"Thought you should take another dose of this," the man said softly, but with no kindness. He set the goblet down on the edge of the desk, and turned to leave.
Remus, however, didn't feel like sitting alone in his classroom any longer. "I've got some fire whiskey that's been sitting in the cabinet in the back of the classroom, if you want any." He waited until Snape turned back around and looked at him before pointing to the cabinet. "Lockhart must have left it in his haste to leave last year."
He was afraid that Snape would just sneer and leave anyway, but he was surprised. "If it belonged to Lockhart, then I feel no regret in drinking what's his," the Potions master said as he walked to the cabinet and opened it, reaching behind an empty cage to take the bottle out. Remus watched as he strode to another cabinet and opened it, fetching two glasses, and crossing the room to sit in one of the chairs next to the desk.
Trying not to smile at the most friendly signs that Snape had ever shown him, Remus picked up the glass after the fire whiskey was poured and took a sip. They sat in silence for a few moments, not looking at each other.
Snape was the first to break it. "Did you know about Black and Potter being together?"
His heart sinking into his stomach, Remus took a deep swallow of the drink, the liquid fire burning a trail down his throat. "No." Memories of Sirius and James laughing together, plotting pranks together, and playing Quidditch together flashed through his mind, and he closed his eyes against the familiar pain. He had not known. He had thought...You had thought that your feelings for Sirius were returned.
"But Pettigrew knew," Snape pressed.
"I guess he did." He knew and you didn't know and you thought...oh Peter, why didn't you ever say something to me? Why didn't anyone say anything to me?
Snape finished his drink. He did not pour another. Instead, he answered the question in Remus' mind, the question that Remus had always avoided answering. "They must have suspected you, then." He stood up, and pointed to the Wolfsbane Potion. "Drink that before you forget." He watched Remus do just that, watching him as he shuddering at the awful taste. Taking the empty goblet back, he lingered for a moment longer, enough to get in some final words. "They were right to suspect you, I think. You're not any more innocent than they were, Lupin. I will never forget the time you almost killed me. I'll be watching you." He left as he came in, with the swish from his robes and the door closing quietly with a click.
Remus stared after him, wondering how the conversation had taken the turn for the worse. Sighing, he numbly let his head fall back to the cool, hard desk.
He fell into a restless sleep in that position.
To be continued...
