Rating: R for angst and language
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters, of course. They belong to JK Rowling.
Series summary: James Potter is alive, but Harry hates him. Why? Each chapter fits together to create the whole story a section at a time. Includes friendship, hurt, hate, loads of angst, and a nice story between Sirius and Remus. SLASH bits.
Chapter summary: Peter's thoughts and feelings are revealed here. Why has he been taking pictures of James and Sirius? What would motivate him to do what he ultimately did? Why doesn't Voldemort go after Remus, too? A mild bit of slashiness in this chapter, but it's only for a paragraph, and still very relevant to the story. Is Peter really that evil? Note-It may seem that Peter has...er...feelings for Remus. I'm not meaning for there to be-Peter just cares about Remus as a friend.
Author's notes: I want to thank everyone who has commented on this story so far, from the ones that made me smile to the ones that made me think. THANK YOU all so much for the feedback-it motivates me to keep working on this story. The reason why this chapter took so long is that I've been playing out scenes for the NEXT TWO chapters after this one, which are James' thoughts and his role in this whole mess and the Sirius/Remus reunion. But that's later, of course, when I write it. :) Please review!
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CHAPTER 5
July 31, 1980
In the late July heat, the grounds at the edge of his vision were hazy and seemed to shimmer, unfocused. Peter Pettigrew paused at what he was doing, wiping his drenched forehead on the sleeve of his thin Muggle t-shirt.
Weeding was something that was so mundane, a chore that most wizards never bothered with. Even Hagrid, with all of his groundskeeping duties, just spread some Madame Loughlin's Weed-Killer all over the outside of Hogwarts once a year, right after the students were sent home for the summer holidays, and he wouldn't have to think about it again. No sane person LIKED to weed.
Well, I'm not exactly sane, am I? Peter smirked to himself, his jeans brown at the knees from where he knelt in the dirt, his gloves caked with clumps of weeds that tended to cling. He would have done the same as Hagrid, had he really disliked doing what could only be called a chore. In fact, a can of the weed-killer had been sitting inside Hagrid's hut, with a note attached, instructing Peter that he would only have to bother with it once at the beginning of the summer, and then he could focus his attention on other things, like the hedges around the lake, or the flowers that bloomed near the Herbology greenhouses.
But Peter found, when he first bent down to pull a weed out on the first day of summer holidays, that he enjoyed the simple act of ridding the grounds of one piece of the poison that infected it each year. He felt as if it could be a metaphor for his own life. Pull out the bad things. Give life to the good things. Don't let the good things crowd out the bad things. Every weed he pulled was a moment in his life that he hated.
One. That's for the time that McGonagall told me I was hopeless. Two. That's for the angry look Sirius gave me that time that I accidentally spilled pumpkin juice on his winter robes in Fifth Year. Three. And this is for the time that James first lied to me.
But he didn't want to dwell on that, not really. When Peter had first met his three best friends, it had been James that had welcomed him in with open arms. James had been so considerate and kind that Peter instantly liked and admired him. It was on the third night of First Year, when the four boys had already gone to bed, that James had shown the first signs of unwavering friendship and acceptance.
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Peter huddled in his bed, his sheets pulled all the way up to his chin, even though it was still warm at night. He was on the bed at one end of the room, next to James'. He could hear some rustling as someone got out of their own bed, but since Peter's curtains were closed around him, he could not see who it was.
"Psst! James! Are you awake?" It was Sirius, Peter was sure.
A soft groan. "I am now, you prat. What is it?"
"I can't sleep. Let's go explore!
Peter thought that James would just tell Sirius to go bugger off, but he was surprised when, after a pause, James agreed. There was the swishy sound of a curtain being pulled back all the way, and some soft slaps of bare feet on the stone floor.
As much as he didn't want to get into trouble, Peter would have given anything to go with them, but he didn't want to seem like an overbearing bother, so he stayed still, wondering if the two were really going to leave.
"Should we wake the others?" James asked.
"I don't know. Can we trust them not to go snitching on us?"
Peter felt a pang of irritation. 'I'm not a snitch,' he thought to himself.
James sighed. "I think we can trust them both."
"Are you sure? I mean, how well do we know them? Remus is a little strange, don't you think? And Peter looks as if he misses his mum already. Both of them probably wouldn't want to get in trouble."
"Sirius! How well do WE know each other? How do you know that I'M not going to snitch?"
"That's different. We're meant to be mischief-makers, you and I. Don't tell me that you think Remus is capable of playing a prank on McGonagall? Or Peter of sneaking into the girl's dorm and stealing a pair of knickers?"
A chuckle. "I don't think I'M capable of stealing a pair of girl's knickers, to be honest. But I see your point. Still, I don't think it's fair to exclude them."
"Okay, okay. Remus doesn't seem that bad. He looks too innocent. Maybe that'll benefit us in the future."
"Great. Let's go wake them." Peter heard some footsteps as one of the two padded over to Remus' bed, on the other side of the room, and pulled the curtains back.
"Sirius, I'm not leaving Peter. If you wake Remus right now, then I'm going to wake Peter, and we'll all go."
A sigh from Remus' bed. "Fine, James. Go wake him. He just better not rat on us."
Peter felt a sense of belonging after that night, as James came to wake him, and the four boys explored the castle until they got caught by Filch, and got their first ever detention together.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Peter pushed his limp blond hair off of his forehead with his wrist as he surveyed his work. His temporary summer job taking Hagrid's place was something that he felt no regret in, and no shame in. After all, it was more than what Remus had, who worked at a Muggle library, shelving books, getting paid minimum wage.
Remus deserves better. Peter felt a stab of remorse for his friend. It's not his fault, after all. He's so smart, and so kind, and has all of this education behind him. He should be treated like every other wizard out there. Stupid, bloody Ministry. Yanking another weed out of the ground, Peter felt his heart go out to his poor, struggling fellow Marauder.
He probably doesn't even know about James and Sirius. Not that Peter thought that Remus would care, necessarily, but the werewolf would probably be hurt that no one had told him. Peter had all of his suspicions, and his own proof, but all he had gotten out of James and Sirius had been denials and anger.
And that was the first time that James had lied to Peter, after all of the times that he had shown his worth as a valuable person and friend. Peter KNEW what had happened between James and Sirius, but the former had looked shifty-eyed, even as he had denied what Peter had accused him of. Peter couldn't help but remember...
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Peter walked slowly down the corridor on the way back to the Gryffindor Common Room, reaching down with one hand to tug lightly at the waistband of his trousers. They kept slipping down, but Peter didn't mind. 'I must be losing weight,' he thought happily. He was fifteen now, and his three friends had already lost all of their baby fat. Poor James was all elbows and knees, and Remus towered over Peter now, his face painfully thin.
All the girls thought Sirius was just SO handsome, though, as Peter had overheard Marcie Tanglewood telling Tricia Wilkins one day. With short, thick black hair and bright blue eyes framed by black lashes and white, straight teeth surrounded by 'perfectly kissable' lips (again, a quote by Marcie), Sirius was the 'epitome of perfection.'
Peter sniggered a little as he remembered that conversation. He supposed that Sirius was pretty good-looking, for a guy, but the 'epitome of perfection?' Peter himself felt a little jealous, however. HE would never be called anything of the sort, with his always-watery grayish eyes (he had bad allergies) and his limp blond hair and his somewhat-pudgy body.
Passing by the Charms classroom, Peter was jerked out of his thoughts by a noise. Someone had spoken, a single word that might have been "okay," but Peter wasn't too sure. He stopped, quieting his breathing, and peered inside the door, which was still cracked open, feeling a little guilty about spying.
He almost fell backwards onto his arse. There, in the classroom, both sitting on Flitwick's desk, side by side, were James and Sirius. If it had been any other situation, Peter could have just walked in and the other two would have greeted him and the three would have perhaps gone for a bite in the kitchens, or gone to drag Remus away from his books.
But, as it were, it wasn't any other situation. The two dark-haired boys were kissing. Sirius was sort of leaning in to James, and both had their eyes closed. Peter swallowed his gasp and backed away, practically taking off down the corridor.
Rushing past the Fat Lady, Peter spotted Remus right away, sitting in a chair in the corner, a book in one hand, a bright red apple in the other. The werewolf's amber eyes were staring fixedly at the book, and Peter noticed that the two bites that had been taken out of the fruit were already brown on the surface, meaning that Remus had forgotten to keep eating, as engrossed as he was.
Peter launched himself into the chair opposite his friend, a knot in his stomach. Sirius and James...kissing. This was big. This was bigger than big, and he didn't know whether to shout it out or just tell Remus in private.
As he stared at Remus, the way his light brown hair fell into his eyes and the way the fire sent orange flames dancing across his perfectly unblemished skin, Peter felt a rush of anxiety flood through him. He was hurt that Sirius and James were having...er...relations behind his back. They didn't trust him enough to tell him? Did they think that he wouldn't approve? But as hurt as he was, he thought that Remus would be devastated. After all, Remus had trusted the three of them with the most dreadful and frightening secret of all. Who were they to keep secrets back, after that one had been told?
So just as Remus turned a page and looked up, jumping a little at just noticing him, Peter knew that he wouldn't tell Remus what he had seen. No, Remus had enough pain in his life without feeling betrayal from his friends.
"Hey, Peter, I haven't been completely ignoring you like a prat for a long time, have I?" Remus smiled a little, his eyes twinkling. He looked so apologetic that Peter grinned back at him, feeling REALLY sorry for Remus just then.
"I just sat down. And you're not a prat. It must be a good book."
Remus held it up. "Dante's 'Inferno'. It's excellent! About a man that goes through Hell, with all these different layers described in detail, with this one full of Carnal Sinners and another full of Virtuous Pagans and..." Remus stopped, his voice cracking at the last word. He flushed bright red, but Peter knew not to say anything. With Sirius and James, you could tease about the embarrassing adolescent changes, but it just didn't seem to be funny with Remus.
"Sounds intriguing," Peter said instead. "Maybe I'll borrow it from you sometime." He stood and pointed to the browned apple, still clutched in Remus' other hand. "You better eat that before it turns to applesauce."
A small smile graced Remus' thin lips again. "Yes, I will. Are you going to bed now?"
"I'm a little tired, so I think I'll lie down for a bit," Peter fibbed. He WAS going to lie down, but he wasn't tired. In fact, he was VERY awake.
"Yes, well, when Sirius and James get back from where ever they went off to, I'll come up and get you. I'm a little hungry, and this apple's not very fulfilling. Would you fancy an outing to the kitchen?"
Peter grinned, though he felt an aching in his chest when Remus mentioned the other two boys. "Yes, that'd be good. I'll be awake. See you in a bit."
Remus nodded at him before turning back to his book, and Peter trudged up the stairs to their room, pulling off his shoes and robes before falling into bed. He stared up at the ceiling, and it seemed like a long time before someone was shaking his shoulder, waking him. He wasn't aware of dozing off, but soon was completely alert as he looked over and saw that James, not Remus, was the one that had come upstairs to get him.
"Remus said you might want to come with us to the kitchens," James said, smiling at him. Peter sat up and looked at his friend. No one else was in the room, and Peter trusted James to tell the truth more than Sirius.
So he gathered some courage that he never knew he had and asked what he didn't really want to ask, but HAD to know the answer to. "Is there something going on between you and Sirius?"
James' eyes went wide, but what came out of his mouth was something that Peter never, ever expected. "What are you talking about? What do you mean by 'something'?"
Peter sighed, but didn't look away from James' eyes. "I saw you two in the Charms classroom."
James looked down at where Peter's hand was clutching the edge of the sheet. "I don't know what you're talking about, Peter."
Was James going to LIE about this? Peter was shocked. James NEVER lied about anything. He was as straightforward and brave as anyone, and he would never have a reason to lie, especially to one of his friends. Clearing his throat, Peter said the words that he REALLY didn't want to say. "I happened by the Charms classroom on the way back from the library tonight, and I heard something, and I looked in there and saw you two kissing."
No doubt about it, James was starting to sweat. "Kissing? Me and Sirius? I told you, Peter, I don't know what you're talking about. We're not like that at all. Maybe you saw someone else." He stood up quickly and backed away, still not looking at Peter. "Remus and Sirius are waiting on us. We'd better get down there before Remus decides that Sirius would make a good snack, eh?" He exited the room before Peter had a chance to say another word.
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Peter didn't hallucinate when he saw what he saw. He had asked James again after that, and had gotten the same response. Sirius, when asked only once by Peter, had snapped at him and told him that he wasn't some 'pansy-arsed fairy boy,' and that maybe Peter had been eating too many of the Fizzing Whizbees from Honeydukes and had been light-headed at the time that he thought he saw them.
Sighing, Peter pulled at some more weeds and wondered. Maybe he really DID imagine that kiss. But then, what about all the other times? James and Sirius were always close, and Peter had pictures to prove it. He didn't know why he had such a fascination with the idea of them two being together after that. It was like if he could get enough pictures as proof, he could prove to himself that he wasn't some stupid sod who made up stories about his friends. He viewed it as a complicated puzzle, fitting the pieces together to make a whole. Each time that James had hugged Sirius, or each time that Sirius had gone straight up to James first after Transfiguring into Padfoot, or each time the two got closer to each other than any other set of male friends did, was a piece to this puzzle. Peter KNEW that they had something going on, at least before James began seeing Lily Evans, if not during.
And that was another complication. Lily Evans, now Potter, the wonderfully cheerful, beautiful, auburn-haired, green-eyed Lily, with the cutely freckled nose and the body to die for. She had been a Ravenclaw in school, and James had met her when they both became Prefects in Fifth Year and had their first meeting together. James had fallen in love with her at first sight, or so he claimed to Sirius when he thought Peter couldn't hear once, but Lily herself had not started paying attention to James until Seventh Year, when Sirius had stood up on the Gryffindor table during Lunch and asked Lily to go to the Yule Ball with James in front of everyone, much to James' embarrassment. Peter remembered having to fake a confused look on his face, and he felt a pang of sorrow for Remus when he heard his amber-eyed friend ask James, "How long have you fancied her?" But after being told 'two years', instead of showing anger and hurt at not being in on the secret, Remus acted delighted, though Peter couldn't help but notice the small flick of hurt in Remus' eyes. And Peter was amazed when Lily had looked over at Sirius, ignoring the jeers from her friends, and shouted back across the Great Hall that she'd be delighted to go to the Ball with James, as long as he came over to her table to ask her himself.
And that had been the start of the James/Lily relationship, though Peter still had his doubts whether or not the thing between James and Sirius had ended. Even now, at the very brink of having their first child, Peter still noticed a closeness between James and Sirius that was painful when Remus acted oblivious to it. Was he the only one that knew? Was he the only one that SAW?
Leaning back, Peter ignored the cramping muscles in his legs as he stood slowly, shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun. He thought that maybe he could take an extra long lunch break today, or perhaps leave early. Lily's water had broken the night before, and she was at St. Mungo's, in the delivery wing. He thought it would be good to try and be there, to calm James down a little, and he wanted to be one of the first to see the child.
Brushing the dirt from his knees, Peter put his gloves on the ground and trudged up to the castle entrance. The cool air from the castle hit him as he walked in, and he sighed in pleasure, a smile creeping onto his face. It wasn't every day that he felt proud of himself for something, but the grounds were looking more fantastic every day, as he divided his time between the weeding and keeping up with the rest of the grounds. When Dumbledore had contacted him about the temporary job when Hagrid was to go on a much-needed vacation, Peter had been delighted, especially when Dumbledore had acknowledged his 'excellent abilities with tending to plants.' Taking up the job, Peter had found that it had been rewarding and satisfying, and the summer holidays had flown by, fast enough that Peter kind of regretted the start of the school year, when Hagrid would be back.
And then HE'LL bother you again. Peter shivered for a second, as if the air was TOO cold, although it wasn't. No one had come for him the whole summer he had been working at Hogwarts, but before, he had been threatened almost from the time that he had finished Seventh Year by a couple of Death Eaters, who caught him in Hogsmede that first time, buying a pound of Sugar Quills for Sirius' birthday in early July. Two masked men had dragged him into an alley between two buildings and pushed him into a corner between a wall and a large dustbin.
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"Hello, PETTIGREW, nice to see you here," one said nastily as the other pointed a wand at Peter's heaving chest. "Have you seen your friend Lupin lately? Our Lord is VERY interested to know where he'll be the next few days."
Peter felt afraid, deathly afraid, willing to do anything to get these men to leave him be. "I haven't seen him since we finished at Hogwarts," he lied. He didn't know what these two and their 'Lord' wanted with his friend, but he'd be damned if he was going to let them know where Remus was.
"I think you're lying," one of the Death Eaters whispered ferociously. "I don't think you see what's going on here." He leaned in close, his breath a hot, sour wind in Peter's face. "Why don't we show you that we mean business?"
And the pain hit him, like a bomb had gone off in every single cell in his body, and ripped into the adjacent cells even as it tore each individual one apart. Wracked with pain, Peter didn't become aware that he had fallen to the ground, face down, until the Cruciatus Curse was lifted. Waves of spasms continued to roll through his body, and he ignored the kick that he got in the ribs from a boot.
"You ready to give us some information, Pettigrew?" one of them asked. Peter coughed, reaching with effort to wipe some blood that came from a cut lip that he just realized he had. The Death Eaters had probably hit him on the way down, while he was under the curse.
He had an idea to get rid of them, but he was a little afraid of what the consequences would be once they came back for him. He gathered whatever courage he had, though, and let himself tell them. "On Saturday, he'll be at his mother's house. Go there at night." He stopped, coughed again, and finished. "He'll be in the shed out back."
One of the Death Eaters snorted. "And you expect us to believe that? You going to try and set up a trap for us? In a shed at night?"
Peter remembered the time that Sirius had sent Snape down the Whomping Willow passage after Remus during school. He felt slightly guilty, because Remus had been so angry and betrayed. 'But this is for Remus' safety,' he convinced himself in only one moment. He looked up at the masked men. "He'll be there. He's supposed to help his mum rearrange the shed, and he's doing it at night because it's too hot during the day."
The two Death Eaters looked at each other before turning back to Peter. "Alright," one of them said. "He'd better be there, though. If we find out you've led us astray..."
"What are you going to do to him?" Peter spat out. "If you hurt him..."
"You'll what?" the one on the right interrupted, a nasty laugh sounding from the hole in the mask near his mouth. "Kill us? Come after us for bothering your boyfriend?"
Peter felt a surge of anger well up inside him. "It's not like that! He just doesn't deserve to have scum like you even LOOK at him! You and your precious DARK LORD!" He glared at them as both seemed to straighten up.
"You would be wise to learn to keep your mouth shut about things of which you have no idea," one snarled. "The Dark Lord wants him. That's all that matters."
And before Peter could utter another word, both Death Eaters turned away from him and walked away, leaving him to pick himself up off the ground and face his friends. Saturday was the full moon, and Remus would be safe from them when they came. 'But he won't be safe forever,' thought Peter. 'He can't become a wolf when he wants to.' He wondered why they wanted Remus so badly. Did they want to hurt him?
He wouldn't let them. 'Remus is so kind, and so trusting, and such a wonderful person. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by them. He doesn't deserve to be hurt at all.' Peter pushed himself off the ground unsteadily and headed back to the nearest store on foot, to see if he could get cleaned and rested up enough to Apparate home without splinching himself.
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The Dark Lord himself had come for Peter every time after that, and it made him shiver at the memories. Voldemort had been very cruel, leaving him shaking on the floor of his single-room flat for leading the Death Eaters straight into a 'werewolf's lair'. "You'll learn that it is beneficial to yourself to not oppose me," Voldemort had told him.
But as the summer of 1980 had started with Peter working at Hogwarts, he hadn't had even one visit from Voldemort or one of his Death Eaters. Too protected by Dumbledore, Peter thought. As he came to the statue of the gargoyle guarding the entrance to where Dumbledore spent the entire year, he paused. Maybe I should tell him about Voldemort threatening me. Maybe he could protect me if I let him know that I'm not bothered while I'm here at the school. Maybe he'll even give me a permanent job here, like he did for Hagrid and Filch. But as soon as he thought it, Peter dropped the idea. It wasn't like he thought he was...too GOOD for a career like grounds keeping or care taking. It was just that he had gone through seven years of learning at one of the finest Wizarding institutions in the world, and he felt that he...didn't he DESERVE more? James was an Auror, and Sirius worked for the Nimbus Broom company, the most successful broom company out there. Even Lily worked for the Department of Mysteries, doing who-knew-what.
No, he would not settle for taking on Dumbledore's protection, because it was more apt to be emptying chamber pots for the Hospital Wing or some other such menial chore. If he handled it himself, it would prove to others, as well as to himself, that he was capable of better. Of more. With that decision made, Peter spoke the password ("Peppermint Toads") and trudged up the stairs, the drying sweat on the back of his neck making his hair stick to him uncomfortably. He stopped outside of the door to Dumbledore's office and raised his hand to knock, stopping himself when he heard a voice.
"My Inner Eye had always told me of your liking for sweets, Headmaster."
Peter stayed silent. He recognized the voice, a little, but he couldn't place it. It was a woman's voice, and it sounded as if the person might have had a slight head cold, causing her voice to be a bit raspy.
"My dear Miss Trelawney, you certainly do seem to keep that Inner Eye of yours focused." Dumbledore sounded amused. "I have to say that it seems that you DO know what you are about."
It was Sybill Trelawney, then, who was a Gryffindor two years ahead of Peter. She had been a loner, the sort who floated through all of her classes with her head in the clouds and her nose in the air. She had once looked down her nose at Peter, through her large glasses, and told him that she had been told by her 'Inner Eye' that he would not finish Seventh Year with the rest of his classmates. Peter smirked. She had been full of dragon dung. But what was she doing in Dumbledore's office?
His question was answered immediately. "Headmaster, I See that you will be hiring me for the Divination teaching position. I am the best person for the job, and you know that my skills in the area have always been top notch," she rambled mistily.
"Well, actually, Sybill, I have another four people to interview, and I already interviewed two before you. I haven't decided...Miss Trelawney? Miss Trelawney, are you quite alright? You look...Miss Trelawney!" A chair was pushed back, and Peter wondered what was happening.
"Today is the day that He will be born," a deep voice said. Peter didn't think that it was Dumbledore, though. What was going on? It continued. "He that is being born this very minute will be the downfall of the Dark Lord. The Wizarding World will be at peace for more than a decade, but the Dark Lord will not be done. When the Dark Lord comes to the Wizarding World again, more terrible than before, Father and Son must form a bond to banish the Dark Lord forever."
Peter was stunned. What was that? Was that a Prophecy? Was Trelawney the real thing? He backed away from the door quietly, but not before passing something that made him stop in his tracks before he went down the stairs. There, in a darkened corner that Peter hadn't noticed before, stood someone in black robes, looking at him. With dread filling him, Peter recognized Severus Snape, even though it had been years since they had seen each other. Snape was standing quite still, just looking back at him with glittering black eyes and a frown. Was Snape a Death Eater now? I wouldn't be surprised. What was he doing in the corner, there? Was he spying? And did he just hear the Prophecy? If so, then Peter was sure that Voldemort would be hearing about it that very day. Saying nothing to Snape, he hurried down the stairs, passed the gargoyle, and ran back out into the sun, dropping down unceremoniously onto the grass. He wondered who Trelawney had been speaking of. Surely, the Dark Lord was Voldemort. He would be in the Wizarding World twice? Peter shuddered. Once was enough. Even the thought of him sent chills down his spine. And the "He" that she had spoken of. Born today? "Father and Son" forming a bond to destroy Voldemort the second time for good? Who was the "He" that was being born right then?
And as if on cue, an owl caught his eye. A large tawny one-it was Cliodna, Sirius' owl that he had bought with his first pay that he had earned after school. She circled around once and landed on Peter's outstretched leg, and he untied the letter that was secured to her right limb as he let his other hand skate over the soft head and back. She nipped him and took off, and he opened the parchment.
Peter, you prat, get down here! Harry James Potter was born ten minutes ago, and James is crying like a baby. You have to see it! Dumbledore will understand. Hurry! I think Remus has tears in his eyes, too. And a hastily-scribbled, but still neater handwritten words under that. I do not have tears in my eyes! And James isn't crying, either. Sirius is just winding you up, Peter. But hurry here! Little Harry is so tiny! Peter smiled. Under that, one more short note. See that wet spot right next to this sentence, Peter? That's one of Remus' tears. Get over here, now! And it was signed by Sirius and Remus. Feeling giddy, Peter folded the note carefully and decided to just leave. Dumbledore WOULD understand.
But he had one more thought before he left for St. Mungo's. Harry had just been born about twenty minutes earlier, because the note would have only taken about ten minutes to arrive by owl. And Trelawney had been giving the prophecy about twenty minutes earlier. This meant...
Feeling a painful lump in his throat, Peter stood up. Voldemort was going to start coming after him again as soon as he left Hogwarts after the end of summer. The Death Eaters were going to start following Remus again, marking him, coercing him to join them. Peter had never been told directly by Remus, but he KNEW that they had already visited. More than once, in fact. Sirius and James were oblivious to it, but Peter knew. They have to leave him alone. He doesn't deserve... He knew that he had to find someone, or something, to deflect Voldemort's attentions off of Remus.
If someone told Voldemort about the prophecy, like Snape, then the Dark Lord would be anxious to find out who the "Father and Son" were that were going to be his downfall. Peter suspected that it just might become James and little Harry. What if, the next time Voldemort came to torture information about Remus' whereabouts out of him, he instead...
Oh James, thought Peter sadly as he Apparated to the front door of St. Mungo's. You're my friend, too, but when it comes between you and Remus... Peter walked in, inquiring about where his friends would be, and followed the signs. He entered Lily's room to find a tired Lily lying in bed, surrounded by a proud and in-awe James, a grinning Sirius, and a wistful Remus. Feeling another pang as Peter greeted them and leaned in to see a tiny person curled up in James' arms, with a shock of dark hair, wrinkled but clean, he felt incredibly guilty about what he knew he had to do. But it was between Remus and James, wasn't it? You never should have lied to me, James, he thought sadly. He took the offered baby carefully in his arms, looking down at the innocent child that he was also going to have to give up to save Remus' life. But once he handed back, he glanced over at his amber-eyed friend. Remus was holding the baby, now, looking down, and there WERE tears in his eyes. If they keep going after Remus, then he'll never have a chance for this. They'll pursue him and threaten him until they kill him.
Between Remus and James, and even Remus and this little innocent baby Harry, Peter knew which one deserved to be safe. I'm sorry, Harry, and I'm sorry James.
To Be Continued...
