Chapter 9


She gasped and froze. Went completely rigid in his arms. Stiffer than a corpse.

But she didn't push him away.

Kouga could feel her heartbeat in the light touch of her lips. His coherence fragmented, while his sixth sense screamed at him. At her. If you're going to break away, you'd better do it now, Kagura!

A dim remnant of his former self held desperately on to his reservations, while the feel of her soft, trembling mouth burned maddening sensation from his lips to his toes. It was wrong, on every level.

But holding her feels so good….

So totally wrong…

And her breath, so sweet…

He'd never be able to go back from this…

Every part of me aches for her...

A heartbeat later, the surreal shifted to overwhelming, and against his better judgment, Kouga found himself really kissing her.

Her breath caught. Her fingers curled against his chest. Her body shifted. He grabbed her waist. Cradled the back of her head. Tried desperately to make it smooth, even though the passion in him frenzied for attention. He knew she was scared. Could sense it as easily as he sensed her longing.

But still, she let him hold her. Kiss her. When he folded his body over her, she didn't knee him in the groin. She didn't protest when his fingers fumbled clumsily with her barrette, letting her perfect hair flop cooly against his forearm. She didn't bite his tongue when he slipped it between her teeth.

Her anxiety faded. Her limbs relaxed. After several moments of opening and closing the kiss, the strength of her legs left her, and Kouga was spurred on by all of her effeminate weight as he caught her against him.

And then it happened. His captured nemesis began to mimic the soft gestures of his kiss back, angling her face, playing the liplock in return. Her nails grazed his skin as her fingers made their way up and around his neck, pulling his head down.

The wolf prince knew his limits. But the voice of reason - the one that said this was impossible, that this shouldn't be happening - was being drowned out by the euphoric, taboo sensation of making out with his greatest enemy.

* * *

Oh, Kami...

Kagura's lids fluttered shut. Little zingers of sensation pulsated low in her abdomen as she felt the heat and press of his torso against hers. She hissed softly as he finally released her mouth to run his heated lips down the skin of her neck. Her shoulder. Back up to the sensitive area behind her ear…

She felt herself go completely malleable. Languid. Like water. And through the heavy inebriation of his embrace, a small, fearful wonderment probed at her dimming consciousness like a lost echo - of how the hell he had stripped her of all will power with such a simple gesture.

Not a…spell… it said through the blissful lethargy his passion evoked. A drug, then. He…drugged me? Then, less coherent. I don't…remember… And finally, the true sentiment. It doesn't matter. I don't care…

His kisses gradually got more frantic. His clutches, more aggressive. Even standing, their legs became tangled, his press, enticingly heavy. Had he started out this way, she might have had the capacity to push him away. But now... That nameless need in her had grown. Undeniably powerful. Almost as strong as the instinct to survive, and the Wind User found it alarming that though every part of them seemed to be touching, it still wasn't close enough...

And then, just as abruptly as he'd started it, Kouga stopped.

With a strangled growl, he disengaged himself from their embrace and spun away from her, dropping to his knees in the grass. The cool air hit her body where he'd been touching her, sending an unwelcome shiver down her spine. It was a toss up between what she wanted to know more. Why he started it to begin with, or why he stopped.

"Kouga..." she breathed.

His trembling fingers combed through his obsidian bangs and met in a white-knuckled clasp behind his bowed head. He didn't...couldn't speak - so half-dazed, and trying to regain the composure that he'd so suddenly stolen, Kagura tried to make sense of it all. But her rationale was blatantly distracted. She could still taste the tangy heat of his mouth, could still feel the phantom touches of his hands, his body. It's like his ghost was still clinging to her.

Several seconds passed, filled with the deafening sounds of her own heartbeat. Of his guttural, rhythmic panting. A stray bird chirped overhead, and the tall grass brushed against her calves. Kagura, for once was at a complete loss for words, and watched through fogged vision at this demon that had once called her enemy.

"You have no idea," he finally said in a low, husky whisper, "…how this complicates…my life…" He made an ironic sound - somewhere between a laugh and a whimper. "I have 13 wives awaiting my return. Wolf youkai concubines. Reserved solely for me."

For some reason, it felt like her heart had just dropped into her gut. Wives…?

"And they're going to breed me until the populace of my people is restored. Until we are once again a plentiful and powerful tribe."

Kagura made a startled noise. The notion of any other female touching him like that suddenly didn't sit so well.

"But you see, there's a problem," he exhaled in a mirthless chuckle, and lifted his head to stare in pained amusement at her over his shoulder. His face was flushed. His glistening eyes, emotional. "I don't want them. My body doesn't want them. Because all I can think about is you…"

She took a step back. For him to just admit it openly like that caught her off guard. Very off guard. "Is that…" she swallowed and pushed through the tremor in her voice. "Is that…what's happening here? This thing between us?"

He didn't answer.

Kagura plunked down in the grass, lifting a shaky hand to her lips. "So there was no spell… To make me feel like that…"

He turned to face her with his brow furrowed in confusion. Then his expression opened in understanding, and a brief, but honest laughter rumbled from his throat. He shook his head, his eyes creasing in rueful amusement. "No, Kagura. There was no spell."

She wavered. Great… And now that she knew him…now that she was drawn to his person for reasons she still hesitated to contemplate - Kagura couldn't deny how physically attractive he'd become to her.

So much so that even looking at him right now made her nervous. To be the recipient of any of his affection was surreal. He was still unrefined. Wild. But beautiful. His face was handsome…chiseled, with a boyish appeal. And his bronzed skin made the cerulean blue of his eyes seem twice as bright. Twice as breathtaking. And the muscular definition in his arms, his calves, his chest was enhanced with a sweaty sheen that called to her baser nature. Left her wanting to crawl right back over to him, and continue with the intimacy that he'd started...

And never let him go.

She grimaced as the void in her soul returned ten fold at the prospect of losing him. She swallowed, and dug her fingers into the dirt, her next question filled with both hope and dread. "So what now?"

Kouga paused, and then shifted slowly until he was in a crumpled sitting position, facing her. It looked like some tremendous weight was on his shoulders, and Kagura thought she could see where the lines would be on his face when he was four centuries old. He shook his head, and sighed heavily, refusing to meet her eyes. "I go home."

Home? Surprisingly, she wasn't prepared for his rejection. He could have socked her in the stomach and had the same affect. To make her feel like that, and have the gall to just walk away from her...

Back to his 13 wives. Her throat constricted. "You…bastard…"

He flinched, and his brow drew in the center. "Kagura. You know it's not that simple for me."

"I know that, but what about…" Kagura stopped. She'd almost said, 'us'. What was wrong with her? Who was this dependent, insecure person that Kouga had turned her into? She pursed her lips. She was the most powerful elemental demon in the world, dammit. She didn't need the wolf boy. She didn't.

Doing her best to feign indifference, Kagura stood to her feet and jerked her chin in the direction of his mountain. It was time to put on the old skin. "Keh. Get out of here. I'd just as soon see you go, anyhow."

He blinked surprise at her abrupt change in demeanor. Kagura avoided his eyes, resolving herself to keep going. She couldn't let him know how much he meant to her now. And maybe if she expounded enough, they'd both end up buying into her bullshit. "So you introduced me to intimacy," she shrugged. "So what? Think I can't get that somewhere else?"

His expression shifted to something less sure.

She threw her head back and laughed haughtily. Like she used to when she was trying to kill him. "You're nothing to me Kouga. Were never more than a thorn in my side." Oh, the words hurt to say. But thanks to her malevolent conditioning, they came out with surprising conviction.

His eyes widened, and his face reddened. His mouth opened to say something, but only a stunned cough came out.

"Pathetic how you thought differently," she said, squashing down a rush of rising guilt. She wasn't about to be anyone's 14th in line. It was best to push him away before the betraying brat made that ache in her heart worse. "Go back to your kingdom, Kouga. Go back to your females," she drawled the word out with more venom than intended, and tried to cover it up with a habitual smirk, "and I'll be sure to put what little knowledge you just gave me to good use."

It was his turn to jump to his feet, an angry hand slicing through the air. "After all our history, and you still mock me!? After all the blood and…and…hell you've put me through?" He was trembling. Even his lips quivered. "I won't allow it! You…" he made a fist and bowed his head, "You can't be this shallow…"

She quirked a brow and confirmed his accusation with her brief silence, secretly hating every moment of this. "You honestly think that I'd settle for a savage? Come now. I think we both know I can do better than that."

A strangled noise, meant to be a protest, and he gawked at her in pained appall. She might have imagined it, but Kagura thought she saw a shimmer in his eyes. After several uncomfortable seconds, he clenched his teeth and straightened his spine in morbid acceptance.

He squared his shoulders and stood to his full height, his expression abruptly unreadable. Her soul withered under the fire of his narrowed eyes, but she maintained her facade outwardly.

"Fine." It was one word, but it carried all the impact of a landslide, leaving her buried in the psychological rubble.

And then he left. With his trademark dust devil at his heels, Kouga fled from the valley without turning back. And it was a good thing, too. Otherwise, he would have seen her outstretched hand, or her collapse in the grass as the distance between them grew…might have even heard the gasp of don't go! that escaped her lips as she watched his quick departure.

But the tie between them was just severed - and by the barbs of her own tongue, no less. It is for the better, she repeated in a desperate mantra. For the better…

* * *

Kagura barely finished her weapon in time for nightfall. The pandemonium in her head had distracted her for a good part of the afternoon, only alleviated somewhat by the cyclic attack of the lesser youkai.

Pity she took them out so quickly. As she whipped up a whirlwind to whisk the bloodied remains away, the weight of her loneliness doubled. She stared randomly at the dark horizon…the direction in which Kouga had gone, wondering what he was doing. Thinking. Feeling…

Her subconscious dared to second guess her. Dared to insinuate that she'd made an enormous mistake, even though she knew she could never settle for second place in his heart, or third, or fourth, or-

"Half retarded, ill-worded little tramp!"

Kagura startled. She spun around, her eyes frantically scanning the grass for the source of the insulting squeak of a voice. "Who's there!?"

"I'LL tell you who, ya no good, callused hellcat! The one who's handiwork you just BOTCHED!"

WHAT!? Kagura blinked. Squinted. Leaned down. "You're a…a flea demon?"

"And no less youkai than you, Queen Bee! You address me as Shyouga, or don't address me at all!"

The irate little creature was hopping mad. Literally. Bouncing about an inch above the grass blades, its elderly gray mane flapping about it like an angry aura. The flea's appearance might have been comical, had her insults not hit a nerve…

"What is your business, here?" Kagura asked.

"Oh no you don't, elemental. I'll be the one asking the questions, understand? And what I want to know is why in the seven hells you scared him away!"

Kagura took a step back. "You mean…K…K…" she swallowed, having great difficulty even saying his name. "Kou--?"

"The wolf prince! Who else!?"

"I…" her voice faltered, as her mind raced to make sense of this ridiculous visitor. "That's…not your concern."

"The hell it isn't! After all the work I invested in you two--"

"What work?" Kagura didn't like where this was going. Not at all.

"Doesn't matter," she said, her little cylindrical nose twitching with each syllable. "What matters is that you pull your head out of your ass, get on that wispy feather of yours and go apologize!"

"How dare you..." The mandate, and the tone in which it was given raised up all Kagura's defenses. She couldn't stop herself from defending her actions to this complete stranger - who had no business butting in to begin with. "Kouga has his women," she snapped. "Over a dozen of them!"

"Bah!" Shyouga spat. "They're nothing to him. You know that."

"They're his WIVES!"

"Not yet, you dolt."

"You're…" she stopped. Leaned back, and his words came flooding back to her. The ones that had somehow been lost in the despair of hearing him say he was leaving.

I don't want them. My body doesn't want them. Because all I can think about is you

She shook her head. How did she forget that part? Not thrilled about the conclusion that led to, Kagura deliberately turned all of her attention to the meddlesome flea youkai. "Who are you? Why the hell do you care about any of this?"

"Because you're making a mistake!" the little critter spontaneously burst into tears. "All the souls out there, lost to solitude, and bitterness. Destiny deniers. All crying over," sniff, cough, "missed opportunities, and…and…" hiccup, squeak, "paths never taken!" She abruptly turned to the Northwest and shook an angry fist at the sky, "Curse you Myouga! Curse you to the grave for forsaking me!"

Kagura took some shaky steps back, more than a little apprehensive. "Look. You've obviously got some issues you need to work out with yourself, so why don't I--"

"SILENCE!"

Kagura clapped her hands over her ears, and gawked. It was mind-boggling, she decided, that such a small creature could project so much volume.

"You're very loud."

"And you're dragging your feet. Go get him!"

"Why am I explaining myself to you?" she asked crazily. Shyouga tapped her foot impatiently in the dirt until Kagura found herself arguing. Again. "It…it would never work, you stupid creature. His people are his life. They'd sooner kill me, just like he wanted to-"

"Feh! Trivialities!"

Her jaw dropped. "You..." she coughed shock, "you clearly don't understand the situation-" Kagura stopped, suddenly finding the missing piece to an earlier puzzle. "Wait… You're the one that wrote him the letter…?"

Shyouga stopped mid-speech, and blushed.

Kagura clenched her hand into a fist. "Why you demented, little self-appointed match making-"

"Get going! If you hurry, you might reach him before he gets home, and that way you won't have to deal with his people!"

"I can't! Who will protect the village from the lesser youkai? The moon doesn't shine for three more days!"

Shyouga looked abruptly smug, and Kagura just realized that she'd made a concession. She huffed and placed both hands on her hips.

"If you think I'm going to jump at your orders, you've got another thing coming. I'm nobody's puppet. Understand?"

The flea shook her tiny head and sighed heavily. "So so stupid. Oi, this one is so so stupid…"

Kagura ignored her. "The only loyalties I have right now are to this village and its people. They are my priority until the dark cycle of this moon passes. And then, IF I go to Kouga's mountain, it'll be on my terms. Because I decided to. Not because some waif of an insect thought she could strong arm me into going against my conviction. And quit calling me names!"

As Kagura huffed down at the flea, she couldn't help but to wonder what would happen if she did go after him. She had no idea what she'd say. Had no idea what they could possibly become together. But the desire to see the wolf prince again was overwhelming, and a small part of her questioned whether or not she'd be able to wait the three full days before tracking Kouga down. There was her instinct, and there was her pride.

And pride was a funny thing.


Next Chapter

1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14