The little flea demon had been a nuisance to say the least - even after the villagers returned the next day. As a matter of fact, the critter left only when night fell, as though the lesser youkai could possibly harm her when Kagura was fully armed. Shyouga's constant nagging and bitching had triggered the Wind User's stubbornness, and with as much as Kagura wanted to go and find Kouga right away, she stayed her ground the full three days…
Nobody bossed her around. She'd spent enough of her short life as Naraku's lackey. Never again, dammit.
And yet she couldn't deny the feeling of uneasiness…of tardiness she got as she floated through the air now. To the Northern lands. To him. As though she were an idiot to wait so long to begin with.
The towering mountain loomed up before her with its lush foliage, and multiple rock formations. She could feel the wolf youkai on the wind…their earthy carnal scent carried all the way up here. Though it was obviously faint. She had a quick wonderment of whether or not they'd lost any more of their territory. The mingled smell of other tribes told her it was a strong possibility. She reared in her airborne feather, and scanned the landscape. Did she seek him out? If his tribe saw her, it might result in a confrontation she'd just as soon avoid.
Kagura lowered her feather to tarry amongst the tree tops as she considered. If all else failed, she could wait here until he picked up her scent. It's not like the rest of his tribe knew her well enough to catch her vibe on the wind-
Something moved in her peripheral vision. Something fast. Distant. She turned her head, narrowed her gaze through the dense rows of trees…
And saw it again, beyond the nearest cluster of foliage and beyond the slide of loose shale. A blur of obsidian and brown. Moving in the shadows as though to deliberately camouflage itself amongst the land.
Kouga…?
It was him. She sensed it as readily as she sensed the change in weather. Her stomach vaulted, and her palms began to sweat. What was she supposed to say to him? Apologizing wasn't in her nature, but-
She frowned, and sat up. Where the hell is he going?
The figure hesitated when it reached a large clearing. From this distance, she barely made out the flop of his ponytail as he jerked his attention to the left. The right. Then he bolted down the broken shale.
The distance between them was growing, and Kagura followed him. The boy moved so fast, she had to ride the wind current at her top speed to make any gain. She finally caught up to him at the edge of the river, whirling her feather up and over until she disembarked, touching down right in front of him.
His eyes widened dramatically, and he gasped, coming to a skidding halt. So shocked was he, that the great Kouga nearly fell on his rump trying to back away from her. His lack of composure lasted beyond what she'd anticipated. As though he were traumatized by her presence.
"Kouga…"
He tried to scowl…she could see it. Tried to project his usual cockiness, but there was an element of hurt that even he could not cover up. His frown was pained. Wounded. His eyes, anguished.
"Kouga," she tried again, her throat constricting, "We need to talk…"
He grimaced and backed against a tree. "Get out of here, Kagura," his voice was emotional. Raw.
She wanted to reach out to him. "Not until I say what I came to say," she insisted.
He broke eye contact, and clenched his hands into fists. "You've said enough…"
Wolves howled in the distance then, and he looked over his shoulder in obvious anxiety. Kagura saw her opening and took it.
"Need a lift?"
His frantic eyes darted to her face, and he hesitated. With a whip of her hand, Kagura summoned her airborne feather, hovering it between them. She held her breath as she watched him in his increasingly paranoid state. The wolves howled again. Kouga swore.
Kagura jerked her chin towards her feather. "Do you have a better option?"
"I want nothing to do with you," he choked. "I'd rather..." his head spun to look behind him. His followers had reached the loose shale, its echo resounding in the back canyon. He spat a curse at the ground and glanced at her in desperate apprehension. "Fine. But once we're clear, you leave me the hell alone. Got it?"
Having no intention of following through with his demand, she falsely nodded. Decision made, he lunged and flipped onto her airborne transit. With her heart slamming the breath from her lungs, she knelt down next to him, and didn't miss the cringe when her thigh brushed his arm.
It made her wish she could retract everything she'd said to scare him away. She winced internally. Did my words hurt you that badly, wolf boy?
He noticed she was staring at him, and turned his back to her. "Hurry up."
She shook herself to focus on the task at hand, and putting her anxieties aside, she quickly levitated them up and away. He laid flat on his back with his head turned so he could see off the feather's edge, no doubt staying low in case they were seen. Kagura assumed the direction he'd been heading, making sure to stay amongst the tree tops.
The sounds of his followers faded. They moved well beyond the river, the nearby ravine, the sloping hills beyond that, and all the while Kouga wouldn't look at her. His gaze was fixed on some random spot on the ground while his jaw muscles jumped with tension from what she could only assume was her nearness.
It made her feel so uncomfortable that she couldn't find the words to say until he requested for her to stop.
"Here. Let me down," he said, abruptly sitting up.
"No."
He looked at her skeptically, the intensity of his cerulean eyes almost making her lose her nerve. "No?"
She panicked, and instead of lowering them to the ground, Kagura impulsively shot them straight up into the air. He hissed and grabbed onto the fibers of the feather for leverage as the wind pressed down on them.
"I don't want to play your games, Kagura!" he shouted against the peeling air friction.
"You think I'd go out of my way to find you just so I could play games?" she asked, jerkily halting their ascent.
His teeth flashed as the air currents wildly tossed his hair. "I don't know what you want, but I know what the hell I want, and that's off this cursed feather, and away from you!"
"I don't want you away from me," the words just came out. "I didn't want you away from me when you left the valley, you imbecile!"
He froze. Blinked. Several awkward seconds passed until Kouga shook his head, his face slowly scrunching in disbelief. "Wha...what?"
She squirmed under his stunned scrutiny, pursing her lips. There was no way out of explaining. Damn, but this is uncomfortable. "You said you were going home. Like…like I didn't matter-"
"I...never said that."
"It's what I heard," she said ruefully. "It's what I thought you meant."
A creased marred his brow, and he placed a palm against his forehead. "So..." pause, confusion, "What you're saying--"
"I know what I said."
"Is that you thought I was dropping you--"
"I didn't mean it."
"And to protect yourself--"
"Any of it."
"...you shut me out, instead."
She cowered, and a furious blush tinged her cheeks as he looked at her long and hard. Then with a great, heaving sigh, he massaged his temples as though battling a sudden headache. "You are so confused."
She choked. "I'm here, aren't I?"
"You've got more defenses up than an Imperial fortress, Kagura. I have no idea what I'm going to do with you..."
She bit back a reflexive retort, deciding that quiet humility was the best attitude, here - as though good behavior might make him consider her once more, despite the cruel things she'd said.
After a slight pause, he shook his head and exhaled heavily, running a weary hand across his brow. "You honestly thought you didn't matter to me?" He snorted, and smirked bitterly. "If that were true, then I wouldn't be running away from my own ceremony."
Her heart leapt as her stomach simultaneously dropped out. "Ceremony?"
Nod.
"You mean the one that gives you concubines?"
Nod.
"Thirteen concubines?"
He grimaced, drew his knees up to his chest and dropped his head between them. "Yep."
"So you're still…" she hesitated, sparing a quick moment to mentally thwack herself for being so damned twitterpated. "Single?"
He coughed, and looked up at her. The heaviness of his expressive eyes crinkled with an amused chuckle. Kagura's flush darkened as he smiled at her, despite the angst. Then, without a word he reached out, grabbed her forearm, and forcefully dragged her across the feather until she was cuddled securely between his drawn up legs and against the warmth of his thick chest.
Kagura stiffened, assaulted by his dizzying nearness. He capitalized on her lack of composure and slid both hands around her small waist and nuzzled his face in her hair.
"No, I'm not single," he whispered in her ear. "My heart is taken."
The hairs on her arms raised, and for once, she didn't miss the underlying insinuation of his words. "Oh?"
"Mm. And by the last person that should have it, no less," he exhaled in a half-laugh, "She's ill-tempered, arrogant, disrespectful of my authority-"
Kagura snorted, and his grip tightened for reassurance.
"She's also beautiful," he continued in a softer voice. "Her eyes are prettier than the lava fire, and twice as fierce. Her soul is an arc of light hatched out of shadow, inherent goodness born from hate. She is a goddess, mighty enough to slay entire populations with one flick of her hand, yet tender enough to fret over the safety of a small, human child."
Kagura's throat constricted. Her eyes stung. Her chest swelled with emotion. She couldn't stop herself from swiveling in his arms to look at his face. His honest, handsome face. Eyes real. Expression, sincere. He nodded the affirmative, that he'd meant it. Every word.
Kouga… She reached up and touched his smooth, bronzed cheeks, covering them with her fair hands. The overwhelming response his words elicited in her soul expanded beyond her capacity, demanding an outlet. Words might have sufficed, but she didn't know how to say them. Hence, the powerful sentiment manifested itself through another venue - a surprise on both of their persons.
She kissed him.
He startled, as she used the liplock - that wholly stimulating gesture - to express things she wasn't yet brave enough to speak. He found his composure soon enough, and it all happened again. The entwining of their limbs, the fire in her belly, the tingling of parts of her body she didn't even know she had... And mixed in with it - making it twice as poignant - was this remarkable ache in her chest that made her want to both weep out loud, and soar to the heavens.
Kagura made a silent concession right then. It was a small acceptance of the nature of their bond. She didn't pretend to understand it, but she knew how she felt - and her need to be with him was unquestionable, no matter how outrageous their attraction was. She couldn't see herself with anyone else. She didn't want to be this way with anyone else.
It ended too soon, and reluctantly at that. But there was an unsoken acknowledgement that the intimacy was far from a solution to their plight. Kagura pulled back enough to lock stares with Kouga's heavy-lidded, flushed face.
"So what now?" she asked, with a slight smirk. "And I'd be more careful how you phrase your response this time, Kouga."
Still in a passion-induced stupor, his eyes creased, but he didn't smile. She could almost see the burdens he'd been carrying sit right back on his shoulders now that there wasn't an intimate distraction to make him forget about them.
"My people… You know they'd never accept us," he sighed heavily and combed his nails painstakingly through her hair. Then he kissed her forehead, and pulled her back against him.
She had a brief, crazy moment of wondering how the hell she had gone from being the destroyer of his people to the object of his affection. He said, 'us'. As in a couple. As in a couple with a future...
"Perhaps time will open up a path for you and I to take, because right now, I have no answer."
"I'm not asking you to choose, Kouga," she said, still stunned that she'd kissed him, and was now letting him hold her.
He rested his lips against her brow. "You have my word that I'll do everything I can to see you as often as possible. These past few days without you...without even the promise of seeing you," he shuddered, "have been hell."
That sweet sensation spread through her chest again. She absently traced his collar with her nail, fighting another urge to show him exactly how he made her feel when he said stuff like that.
He shuddered at some hidden thought, making her recall how guarded he'd been when she'd found him. The hurt in his eyes, tension in his shoulders, and quiver to his lips... She found it strange that after she'd massacred his people, demeaned him, and nearly killed him on a number of different occasions, it was that one, spiteful dismissal in the valley that had broken his spirit.
Could this newfound emotion that we share be so powerful? That it is somehow stronger than betrayal, hatred, and death, combined?
The thought blew her mind.
"I must find a way to get out of the polygamy. Something believable, as I'm sure that just running away like I did," she felt him flinch at the memory, "will make them question both my sanity and competence."
"Was it right during the ceremony that you fled?"
He nodded, and grimaced unease. "Right before the vows were spoken."
She could only imagine the spectacle he must have caused with his sudden departure, and was grateful she hadn't waited any longer to come find him. "What did you say?"
He snorted. "That I sensed you on the wind. It was the only thing I could think of that they'd buy into, knowing well of my oath for revenge."
She quirked a brow, wondering if forces beyond her comprehension were at work in bringing them together. "And then I show up. Quite a coincidence."
"Yeah."
"Well," she pondered, all for coming up with a good reason to keep those females' hands off him, "You can tell them it doesn't work…"
He frowned curiosity at her. "Hm?"
She looked pointedly down at his fur wrap. "The part of you that fathers children-"
"Bah!" He stiffened, and leaned away from her. "That's idiocy! I can't tell them that!"
"But why not?"
"Because!" He fumbled inarticulately over jarbled words before his tongue and cheek caught up with his brain, "A male's virility is part of his status. His power. Lose that, and he loses respect!"
"But at least your brides-to-be would lose interest, and then you wouldn't have to worry--"
"I'll NOT feign impotence!"
Kagura couldn't help it. His reaction was so dynamic, she started to laugh.
"What's so funny!?"
"You," she sniggered, "Your face is redder than a baboon's ass."
His jaw dropped in shocked offense. "You dare to make that comparison!?"
She let out a contented sigh, and patted his chest, prefering banter over seriousness. Teasing him was less depressing.
"You'd be smart to take this issue more seriously, my little hellcat, or you'll end up sharing me with-"
Her smile straightened. "I don't share."
"Okay then," he said with finality. Kouga gradually relaxed, and directed his gaze randomly over the edge of the feather as his arms draped heavily around her shoulders. Several quiet moments passed between them as they contemplated their dilemma.
She knew the youroukozu was an intrinsic part of who Kouga was. He loved them. Lived for them. Worried about them. There was no lawful way he could have them both. And if a few hidden moments were all he could give her, then at least she had those.
Am I settling? Am I a fool to think that I can have a piece of your life, Kouga? she asked silently. To hope for a blissful ending to something that's so obviously hopeless?
"There has to be a way…" It was a general comment, but he interpreted it specifically.
"I'll lie to them," he said. "How well do you know your regions? This land's history?"
"I know some…"
"Then give me names. Civilizations from years past - an emperor that was felled by betrayal from within. By his own family…" he said. "Something with enough truth to fit the key figure of a jealous concubine."
She saw where he was going, and thought it was brilliant. "A jealous concubine that inadvertently brought ruin to a great people... Yes. I could create aged parchments for you. Wind worn. Sepia brown. Ancient historical scrolls with a few spells tossed in. You can say you stole them from me before I fled, and after reading their contents -"
"--decide that my life and leadership would better be preserved if I refused to take multiple wives, because of my status." His eyes brightened. "Oh, they'd be angry. They'd think I was being overly cautious. But they wouldn't feel betrayed, which is what it comes down to."
She felt an ounce of relief. It would take her a day or two to write up, and erode the parchments. That's one obstacle out of the way… "How much time do you have with me?"
His eyes narrowed. "Another tribe has been invading our less-guarded areas. They're getting braver by the day. I don't dare stay away too long."
Kagura felt another pang of regret. It was her fault they were endangered to begin with. "I could protect your lands-"
"No. My people would never accept your help. You know that."
She pursed her lips. There was so much opposition. She tried to ignore a sudden, gut feeling that the drama for them was just beginning.
Will we survive it, Kouga?
Her eyes moistened at the thought of a life without him, and she wrapped her arms tightly around his chest. After a moment, he rubbed her back, whispering the words of some old tribal song in her hair.
She soaked up his warmth and his comfort…as much as she could. Better not to think on it, she thought as she blinked back the sting from her eyes. Better to take it a day at a time. Sucking up her breath, Kagura tried her best to exhale the anxiety. Then she changed the subject to something less depressing.
"So," she sniffled and cleared her throat. "Ever heard of a flea demon named Shyouga?"
