THREE MONTHS LATER
He was the leader of an endangered people. The tremendous, suffocating responsibilities weren't easy to leave behind when he snuck away like this, promising to strangle him with a psychological noose the further away he got. Especially now that he didn't even make up excuses anymore - he just disappeared. That's why he always insisted on doing something that demanded every last drop of his attention when he'd secretly meet with the Wind User.
He looked behind him. Something like...this...
Kouga paddled furiously as the roll of water started to loom up behind him. It was massive, complete with its own watery moan as it started to curl over itself. With an almost immature glee, he yelped as the wave sucked him back, anticipating one hell of a ride in its churning tunnel.
But the damn thing betrayed him. He tried to body surf half way up, but the moving water latched onto his thighs with a force, and he found himself going up the face with dizzying speed, and coming out top.
His crazed grin straightened. His eyes widened dramatically, the only sound he had time to make was a desperate, doomed 'Whoop!' as the monstrous wave spanked him down.
Winded, he was rolled around like an inanimate pelt, having no more control of his body than would a head on a stick. Everything went black as he tumbled through water and sand, and his ears were filled with the wild thumping of his own heart, and the muffled underwater sound of a crashing wave.
His frantic limbs finally touched bottom, and he kicked violently, sending him catapulting straight up through the surface, and into the air. The grin returned, and he landed closer to shore, splashing up to his waist. The salty liquid ran down his bare chest in rivulets, and he flung his head back, whipping his hair away from his face. With an exhilarated smile, he sought out the reserved beauty sitting on the sandy shore.
Using her feather as a mat, Kagura was situated with her legs tucked in a ladylike fashion to the side. Her seashell white kimono clung with a snug neatness to her body - giving off her usual cocktail of magnetic sophistication. Modest sensuality. Half the time he didn't know whether to kiss her or bring her offerings.
"It's a good thing you weren't born a fish, wolf boy," she called out. "It would seem that in the water, you have all the coordination of a panda on stilts."
Kouga motioned with his dripping hand, beckoning her. "You want to try this. I know you do."
She rolled her eyes, but he could see her amusement easily enough. "Please. The water is dirty. And it smells."
He waded through the waves towards her, deciding she might need encouragement in the form of brute strength, but alas, Kagura knew him too well. She quirked a brow and pointed her finger at the sky, clearly insinuating that she'd take to the air if he came any closer.
He halted. "It's just a matter of time," he threatened good-naturedly. "I'll get you in here, little bird. Get your hair wet, your clothes ruined, and all,"
"Hmph." With a smirk, she opened her fan and batted her lashes demurely from behind it. Kouga laughed. She was toying with him. He loved it when she did that. Her pretty heart-shaped face was half-hidden, her smooth obsidian hair reflecting the sun... He considered her. Then he considered the waves...
Perhaps the ocean could wait.
But I'll have to catch her, first.
As he was pondering how, she deliberately held his gaze with those mesmerizing scarlet eyes. Delighted, he thought she was flirting with him - that was until a tremendous force slapped into the back of his head and shoved him in the water.
A wave. And he hadn't even sensed it coming.
Kouga barely had time to think a mental curse at his own foolishness as he was sent tumbling through the water again. This time, his own knee somehow managed to wedge in his eye socket - not a pleasant sensation. It faded him momentarily.
Which gave him a sudden idea.
When the wave settled enough for him to be able to tell which direction was up, Kouga forced his body to go limp. He held his breath, floating prone like a dead man near the surface.
Exactly like a dead man. With a smirk, he waited. After several moments, he heard the warbled cry of an effeminate voice through the water. He heard it again. Louder. Panicked.
Heh. Any moment nooooowww …oooOOOW!
Oh, she rescued him, all right. Yanked his happy ass right out of the water…
By his hair.
"NnnggGGYAH!" Kouga squirmed violently, swatting above his head like a humming bird on a yo-yo. Her grip was out of his reach and with a painful tug, she fish-lined him up and over onto her hovering feather, peering at him in perplexed worry. But before she could voice her concern, he sat up and barked at her.
"How many limbs to I have!?"
She sat back, clearly stupefied. "I thought you were…" her face scrunched. "Limbs?"
"Count 'em! One!" He kicked one foot out. "Two!" The other. "Three. Four!" Held both hands in front of her face. "That's FOUR body parts you could have grabbed besides my HAIR!"
"But you…you weren't moving, and I…" she frowned, then her eyes widened. She scooted back. "No…oh no…"
He flashed his fangs, and crouched. "Oh yes."
A split second later, she screamed as he tackled her off the feather and into the water.
She tried to be angry with him. Making empty threats, and struggling in his grip like a tiger on a chain… But even Kagura wasn't prepared for the fun of frolicking in the ocean, and inevitably lost every last shred of disdain when they caught their first wave. And then she lost all her dignified composure. The way she'd yipped, and gripped his neck when he tucked her in and caught the curl… Kouga's smile must have split his face.
She made sounds of terrified delight as they body surfed through the funnel of water…little inarticulate curses, and high-pitched outbursts every time they'd drop…all the while clinging to him as though he were a palm tree in a wind storm.
And Kouga was loving every second of it. It felt so good to laugh out loud. He knew his spirit shouldn't have been free enough to be given to such hearty guffaws…but she brought it out in him. Every time. Kouga thought he'd never enjoyed someone's company so much.
These past three months, he'd tried to discipline himself, only sneaking away to see her twice between cycles. That little flea youkai, Shyouga, had stepped in as a perfect messenger, with her cave bat, and all. But the time they shared was so stimulating…so rejuvenating, that he'd become addicted to it, and twice a month had quickly turned into once a week.
And even that wasn't enough.
It was just a pity that for every ounce of joy she gave him, it was accompanied by an equal amount of guilt…
"Kouga."
He buried it. "Hm?"
"You know I can walk, right?"
He wasn't quite ready to put her down yet, enjoying her pleasant curvy weight in his arms as he marched up the shore. "You said you didn't want to get dirty."
She scoffed, the puff of her exhale tickling his shoulder. "You dunk me in the ocean water, and then feign chivalry?" She tugged on his ear until he grunted. "Idiot."
A corner of his lip lifted, and he trudged them a bit further until they came to an inclined spread of the beach. She startled when he laid her in the sand, grimacing at how it stuck to everything.
Kouga ignored her protests and kissed her neck before collapsing on the beach beside her. He eagerly rolled on his back to absorb the rays, already feeling the warm sun evaporate the ocean droplets from his bronzing skin.
Kagura flopped her soaking hair over one shoulder, jerkily wringing the water from it with both hands. But her fingers had gotten sandy as well, and she wrinkled her nose in distaste as she noted the tiny granules littering her black tresses.
Kouga laughed. "Pout all you want, woman. I saw the look on your face when we caught that first wave."
Kagura's scarlet eyes narrowed at him through dripping bangs. "That was horrified denial, brat. Unlike you, I understand the raw elemental power of the ocean."
Kouga ignored her and tugged on the hem of her kimono. "Do you have anything on underneath that?" he asked.
She gave him a guarded look. "Yes…"
"Then take it off," he looked pointedly down at his own lack of attire, save the pelt around his hips. "Why be cold and damp when you can be dry and warm?"
She followed his gaze with a slitted stare, and despite her projection of disinterest, Kouga caught on all too quickly how her eyes lingered on the contours of his chest, his biceps… His abdomen and legs…
It was foolish, but for all the effect her unintentional appreciation was having on him, Kouga thought he could watch her watch him for the rest of the day, and not particularly mind.
"My…" she turned her awkward attention to her hands in her lap, "My skin is fair. It'll burn…"
"You're a demon, foolish girl. It'll heal itself before you even feel the sting."
Her brow furrowed, clueing him into her flustered state before she covered it up by shrugging. "I'm fine."
Kouga studied her. Her tense posture, her refusal to meet his eyes… There was more to this than she was letting on, and so in his usual tactful manner, he inquired. "What are you hiding?"
She coughed surprise. "Nothing!"
"Then toss aside those wet rags, and let the sun dry you."
"I said I'm fine!"
He said nothing. Just tried desperately to see beyond her odd behavior, until she finally huffed defeat and peeled off her kimono, discarded it to the side. Her silk undergarments were surprisingly baggy, dangling modestly from the straps on her ivory shoulders to below her breasts. And then there was another wrap around her hips. It was cute. Might have looked frumpy on another female, but on Kagura, he just wanted to pick her up and squeeze her. And then some.
Especially when she tried to stay mad at him. Kouga laughed, and reached over to brush his fingers across her forearm. "That's better, isn't it? What were you so worried about?"
She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it as her expression softened into something pleading. Almost vulnerable. And then he remembered.
Her scar.
A permanent reminder, a large, unsightly brand on her body of her loathed creator. Of course she was ashamed of it. Kouga tried to assuage her discomfort by rolling his eyes and tilting his head back so she could see he wasn't repulsed by it.
She protested and twisted to keep it out of his view, but he grabbed her arm and tugged it forward, until he got a demonstrative view of...the...
"Kagura," he breathed in confused awe, reaching up a hesitant hand to touch her bare spine. "It's…gone…"
She went rigid, and stared at him over her shoulder. "What? What do you mean it's gone?"
He half-turned in the sand, and shifted her around to get a closer look. He ran his nails lightly over her shoulder blades, and around her sides, where the enflamed mark used to dimple her skin. There was nothing. Her back was as unblemished and soft as the rest of her…
"Wait," he said, as he lifted the material of her undergarments up off her spine to see a small, faded discoloration between her shoulder blades. "No. Not gone, but shrinking. And fading."
She choked. "You're not...are you joking? Because if you are--" She twisted herself, trying desperately to see it, her hopeful enthusiasm contagious. "It's really disappearing from my skin?"
"You should know I wouldn't joke about something like this."
She relaxed, her pretty face lifting with wonderment. "Hn. Imagine that."
Kouga sat up, his lips pulled back in a smile. It pleased him that he'd played a part in giving her such good news. At least he was making someone happy, since his tribe was...
Agh. Dammit… Unbidden, the correlation to the wolf youkai triggered a very poignant guilt that had been plaguing him ever since he started sneaking away to see the Wind User - of tribal tensions, more lost territory, the hovering threat of those cursed weasel demons… And here he was, laying on a beautiful beach with a beautiful elemental demon, who had more wolf youkai blood on her hands than Death, himself.
His judgment was unbelievably impaired when it came to her, and the conflict it caused within him was maddening. Kagura had started to absently comment on the sticky sand again when he interrupted her.
"Kagura…"
She paused. "Hm?"
"Talk to me."
Her face got serious. He knew she'd heard his unasked pleas. Distract me from my thoughts… Save me from my despair… After all, she'd been dealing with his on/off behavior for three months now. She shifted gears, and reached out to him. He exhaled heavily and let her pull him into her lap, nestling his face against the damp, but soft skin of her stomach.
"Talk to you…" she repeated while draping an arm across his chest, "Let's see. That human girl - the one that brings me my offerings-"
"Your flowers," he corrected, one corner of his lip twitching up. "Your bouquets of aromatic shrubbery," he teased. "You're such a brutal, vicious patron god…heh, ow!" She pinched his side, but it had worked. His mind was already focusing on something lighter.
"Anyhow," she said sternly, but he didn't miss the pleasant crease in her eyes. "I took her up on my feather, the other day. I've never seen a child look so delighted," she snorted softly. "It was such a simple thing. But the expression on her face…"
My, how you've changed... Kouga lost himself in thought as he watched her. She was still cynical, and guarded. But more often than not, he saw glimpses of the person she was still trying to hide from him. The person she was evolving into. Like right now. He decided to test it.
"You know, a barrier would rid you of your obligation there. Then you'd be free to do as you please during the days when the moon is black."
Her crimson eyes darkened in the shadow of heavy black lashes as they fixed on some random point on the beach. "True," she said quietly, "But the lifestyle suits me. Besides, it's not like I have anywhere else to go."
He stopped himself. He almost said, you could live with me, but quickly realized how foolish that would have been. For all he wanted her, he knew that wasn't an option. Not ever. He winced anew at the anxiety as it pressed down on his consciousness.
She saw it. She must have, because he was snapped out of it by a brief, but firm shake, and another shot at changing subjects. "So explain to me what this is," Kagura said. "This time...together..."
He blinked. Thought. Almost smiled as he made the correlation. "This, I believe, my little hellcat, is what Kagome referred to as 'dating'."
"Dating?"
"Mm." He recalled the human girl's words on that day months ago, by their well. "Spending time together. 'Having fun.' Getting to know each other."
Her lips thinned, and she almost looked…disappointed? "That's all, then...?"
He held her gaze, and lifted a hand up to caress her chin, recognizing there was so much more to it. To them. "No…"
A brief silence followed, until her anxiousness got the better of her. "So...is this how you felt for that human? Kagome?"
He startled. What a question. She tried to hide it, but Kouga could see the underlying insecurity. The need to know. He wondered how long she'd been pondering their relationship. It was odd to think about Kagome. He'd almost forgotten about her these past few months. But it was an easy answer. "There is little comparison."
Her arm stiffened across his chest, but before the reserved hurt in her eyes could materialize into something more, he clarified.
"She had the ability to find shards. Shards would make me more powerful. Made sense to me, so I declared her as my woman."
Kagura snorted at his arrogance. He let her.
"But she refused. She tried to explain to me once that I didn't love her. Tried to explain that I didn't know her well enough to care for her so deeply," he smiled ruefully at his own ignorance back then. "And after these last three months, I realize now that she was right."
If she'd expected him to open up like this, she sure didn't act like it. Kagura blinked at him widely. Leaned back, no doubt waiting for him to confirm the unspoken words before she let herself believe them.
"Every day I spend without you, I grow increasingly anxious. It's as though you…you…nourish my soul, Kagura. No one - not even Kagome - has ever had that effect on me." He stopped himself before he said more. For some reason, he'd had no problem telling Kagome that he loved her, back before Naraku was destroyed. The words would fall off his tongue as easily as a threat. But now? With Kagura? It was odd, but he was reluctant, even though the sentiment was genuine this time.
Perhaps it had something to do with the finality of it. To declare his love for her would mean, for him, that he'd have to act on it. And he couldn't. He could never bring her home to the youroukozu. And that frustrated him as much as the loss of territory. Perhaps even more.
"You're worrying again," she said, matter-of-factly. Kagura knew him too well.
He sighed. "I know…"
Pause. "You can talk to me about your tribe, you know," she said, sifting her fingers through his bangs.
"Why worry you with things you can't change?"
She frowned. "Because it's on your mind."
That was all she had to say. After all, in those moments when her spirits seemed heavy, he was always quick to pester her until she told him what was wrong. There was a need to share her troubles. And he shouldn't be surprised that it was mutual.
She nudged him. "Is it your females? The ones you were supposed to marry?"
He took a deep breath and shook his head. "There's always tension, there. But they don't give me as many daggered looks, now. I tried to match them up with the most…opportunistic males in the group, and I think they're finally getting some of the attention that they needed. Makes the situation less strained. Makes them less angry that I'm so 'paranoid about betrayal from within because of someone else's history'."
"So the scrolls I made for you worked, then?"
"They worked enough." It wasn't an honest answer, but he didn't want to go into that. The truth was, the cover had barely worked. His tribe's confidence in him had waned because of his refusal to take brides. It was subtle, but there. Each day the friction rose amongst his people, and each day he questioned if he could really pull off this secret romantic rendezvous with the wolf youkai's greatest murderer.
Especially now that… "We lost more land last week," he conceded, battling a tightening in his chest. "They just moved there. The entire West side is gone."
She stiffened, her eyes narrowing. "Did you confront them?"
He nodded. "It didn't go well." The ache in his chest spread to his stomach. "A fight ensued. Nearly killed three of my comrades, and gave me wounds that would put your more vicious attacks to shame. I got the vibe that they left us alive just so they could toy with us later."
"What kind of demons were they, Kouga?"
His hand clenched into a fist. "Weasel."
She tugged his hair involuntarily, and emitted a throaty growl. "I don't like the weasel youkai."
He recalled that it was the weasel demons who had attacked her humans' village. "They're one step above the lesser youkai. They're maniacal. Pointless. They eat their own children…"
"Dammit, Kouga," she trembled, and he could sense her fear for him. "Weasel demons are dangerous enemies, not unlike the tiger people who drove your kind from the mountain to begin with. What they lack in brute strength, they make up for in numbers. They're a nasty, nasty breed. You have to let me help you--"
"Your presence could only make things worse. The tribe would forget all else, and wait for me to kill you, and we both know that's not happening." He grimaced. "I don't want to be put in that situation. Besides," he complained, "that might make some of our other problems worse."
"Other problems? There's more?"
Kouga chuckled without mirth. "Only that four of Poruka's wives are pregnant."
She paused. "Shouldn't that…be a good thing?"
"Not if you consider that Poruka only sleeps with one of them."
Her brow furrowed in consternation. Then it lifted, her mouth making a small, 'O'. "So…" she shook her head, bewildered, "So which one of your comrades has enough stamina to not only maintain relationships with his 13 concubines, but somehow manages to have a few affairs on the side??"
Kouga shook his head. "None of them."
This time it took a few moments longer for her to grasp what was happening. She coughed surprise. "You mean they've gone outside their species for sexual comfort?"
Kouga nodded. "And tell me that isn't a recipe for disaster. We're surrounded by kitsune, and tanuki, who have a very structured way of living. Adults are mated. Without fail. Which means there are some pretty angry wives out there who are smelling our females on their husbands. It's going to blow up soon. I know it is. And as for their pups? Where will they belong?" He put a weary hand over his eyes, rubbing his temples.
She removed his hand, and continued the administrations for him, pressing her delicate fingers in circles across his brow, his scalp, his neck. Despite the tempest in his head, Kouga found himself relaxing under the sensation of her nails on his skin.
"I could help you…" she said again.
"Then keep doing that," he said, kissing her fingers as they passed his lips. "I like it when you do that."
She smiled ruefully. "This?" She brought up her other hand to join the first.
Kouga exhaled in a purring moan. "Mmm…"
"Well, with as hyper as you are, I sometimes think these little massages are the only things that will keep you still."
He smirked. "Oh, I wouldn't say that."
He felt her blush before he saw it. Even after all this time and she was still shy around him. He loved that. Kagura. Shy. Who would have ever thought?
Her bangs fell in her eyes as she looked down at him, and she stuck her bottom lip out and blew, fluffing them to the side. The gesture, for some wild reason made him smile.
Shy and pretty. There was no better combination. On impulse - he'd been doing a lot of that, lately - Kouga lifted a slow hand until it was hooked snugly behind her neck. Her flush deepened, and her eyes crinkled knowingly. He only had to tug once, and she met him half way.
The ocean was on her lips. The salt on her skin. He didn't mean to kiss her so hard so soon, but his common sense gave way to reflex, and reflex turned to passion, and passion was getting unbearably difficult to temper as of late.
As a matter of fact, it was like pulling his nails out to stop every time they started. He felt the vibration of her startled moan against his mouth, which was quickly followed by a tightened grip on his biceps. A brush of her bare thigh, and press of her firm abs quickly reminded him that they were hardly dressed.
Oh yeah. It was going to be hell to halt his advances this time. Complete hell.
* * *
Was it a whimper?
Kagura blinked her eyes open from the lazy stupor his intimacy always left her in, to frown down at the broad moreno shoulder barring her lips. He made the sound again, muffling it in her hair.
Hn. A whimper… She shifted in the sand and rubbed a hesitant hand along his shoulder blades. He was clinging to her. Had gone from frantic kisses and those warm, maddening caresses to a taut, rigid embrace - as though he suddenly feared she was going to slip away from him into the afterlife.
"Kou…Kouga…?"
Deep breath, shuddering exhale. No response.
Alarmed, she turned her head. "Kouga…"
A few more seconds of heavy breathing, and he dropped his hands to her waist, and held her. Just held her. "You put too much faith in me, Kagura," he choked, his voice rough.
She paused, her disappointment that the session had ended turning to alarm. "Faith?"
"You never stop me."
They'd just been kissing, hadn't they? "Stop you?"
He exhaled in a despairing chuckle. "Makes it hard to pull away when the only signals I'm getting from you are those of consent. As though you would have me to ravish you for days on end-"
She choked, but he went on as though he'd said nothing out of the ordinary.
"If you don't start denying me, then one of these days, I might just keep going."
Keep going… The suggestion went right past her barriers, and triggered her heart beat, which promptly went from a lethargic thumping to a galloping pitter patter. She considered herself to have a pretty strong will, but Kouga had an amazing way of rendering it powerless. Deny him? While he had her in this blissful, inebriated state? The words came out before she thought to phrase them with her usual sarcasm. "You probably could keep going," she confessed.
He snorted and pulled back enough to nuzzle her neck. "You're not helping," he moaned.
In light of her recent self-revelation, she suddenly found herself very curious as to why he'd never taken advantage of her when her guard was down. It went against everything she was conditioned to believe about the opposite sex. "Why…" she cleared her throat and tried again. "Why do you stop, Kouga?" There. She asked it.
He stiffened, clearly caught off guard. Nervous, she began to ramble. "I don't understand. I thought it was…stronger for your gender. That all males were inherently opportunistic in regards to…procreating..."
Pause. "Yes."
"But yet you have self-restraint..." she paused, and then it dawned on her. Something that made perfect sense. "You're afraid I'd end up with child…"
His breath brushed across her cheek as he pulled back just enough to lock stares with her. His sapphire eyes glistened - not with need, but with emotion. He shook his head slowly. "That's…not it."
His intensity stole her words. She could only blink as the warm calluses of his hands cupped her face, the rough ends of his thumbs running across her lips... His mouth opened and closed twice before he found his voice.
"It's that you..." he hesitated, brow furrowed, his complete attention making her feel as though she were the most significant thing in the world, "you mean more to me than that, Kagura..."
* * *
Kouga knew this wouldn't last. This halfway, secretive attempt at a relationship he wanted more than life. His heart and spirit yearned for her, and his body wanted her so bad, it hurt. Literally - evidenced by the limp he'd had half the way home.
But to cross that line - to indulge in their carnal attraction without taking on the responsibilities that went with that… She really would become his mistress on the side, then. A cheap, and unworthy role for a female he treasured more than breath. And he respected her. What's more, he respected what they had.
If she's willing, I'll seal myself to her, he thought with rising hope. The tribe doesn't have to know. I'll commit myself to her in name and in action...
It would be a precarious balance, but one he was willing to...risk...
Wha...? His gaze shot towards the North. Blood?
The scent of it on the wind abruptly distracted him. He'd just passed the river, and was nearing the base of his mountain, and the evening chill brought more than just the promise of home and hearth. Subliminal alarms went off in his head, and he began to tremble. Kouga came to a skidding halt, and sniffed at the air.
No. Not just blood, but shorn bowels, bones, and tendons. It was death. And it was familiar. Sickeningly familiar. His stomach dropped out, as it became painfully obvious where he was all day, and where he should have been.
My tribe…!
