A/N: For a telling of what Kouga found when he found when he arrived at his mountain, go to the Missing Scenes link on my site.

Chapter 12


Usually when little Shyouga showed up on her thick-bodied, bristle-furred cave bat, carrying the much-anticipated message of when and where Kouga could rendezvous - Kagura awaited the news with a casual ease. It was a fake casual ease, but projecting disinterest was her signature characteristic. One she didn't like to compromise, no matter how excited or giddy the wolf prince made her.

But it had been nearly a month. Twenty-eight and a half days since the last time they'd seen each other. She hadn't heard from him. About him. Nothing. For reasons that still eluded her, she nearly went insane with anxiety. Was he okay? Was he trapped? Did she do something to inadvertently repel him? Hence, when she finally caught wind of the familiar winged blot approaching in the Northern sky, Kagura flew up and nearly strangled the flea youkai in her impatience.

And now here she was, half a day later, in a location unnervingly close to the boundaries of Kouga's territory, waiting for him to show up.

Why here? Why so close to his tribe? Darting crimson, eyes scanned the trees through heavy, obsidian bangs. Sharp, manicured nails drummed against folded forearms, and quick, pulsing breaths panted evenly between rosy pursed lips far too quickly to be relaxed.

She wanted to see him so bad, it-

A soft crunch of leaves sounded behind her, and she swiveled around. "Kouga?"

No more waiting. At last. His familiar tall, wild form came to a slow stop several yards from her. Her heart did summersaults when she saw him, and she couldn't stop the small smile that lifted the corners of her mouth. "It's been a while," she said. "I was beginning to...think..." And then she saw it. Felt it. In the way he stayed in the shadows of the tree. And the way his expression seemed hidden. There was no exuberant greeting. No ear-splitting grin. No crossing the distance between them and smothering her with kisses, like he usually did. Her earlier excitement quickly turned to a near nausea…

A terrible moment of silence passed between them. She tried to read his eyes, but they were avoiding her like a nightcrawler hiding from the sunlight. She tried to take a step towards him, but halted when she saw his shoulders tense. Something had happened. Something bad.

"Gods, Kouga. Tell me what's wrong!"

He flinched at her words, and bowed his head until his chin rested against his collarbone. His hands curled into fists. She watched him struggle for several agonizing seconds until it finally pushed past his tongue. "It's over, Kagura."

Those words…so much like knives... "Wha…" she swallowed through a rapidly constricting throat. "What?"

His face finally lifted, and he met her gaze with pained, narrowed eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"Us," she breathed, as her legs grew weak. "You mean us..."

He grimaced and looked away.

The nausea grew stronger. Her hands fell at her sides, and she bit her lower lip as it began to tremble. Never seeing him again, never touching, kissing, laughing with him again flashed across her mind. Her eyes began to sting, her pride momentarily forgotten. "You…you can't mean this…"

He said nothing, but his expression terrified her. Every muscle in it was stone-still, a schooled mask of morbid resolve. But his eyes…those beautiful sapphire eyes were still potent windows of despair, and despite his face, she could still feel the agony of a thousand tragedies emanating from his soul.

They'd come too far. There was no falsness between them anymore. Kagura couldn't pretend to write him off for his rejection. She couldn't be angry with him. She couldn't even act as though it didn't matter.

Because it did.

"Kouga...whatever it is, I...I can help you through it…" She ignored his rueful, agonizing silence, and moved towards him as she bludgeoned on. "You deny me my help, but we both know I can protect your tribe from your enemies more readily than you ever could! A sentinel. Their protector!" the words sounded ridiculous to even her ears, as she knew full well that the yourouzoku were too proud to ever let that happen.

But 'ridiculous' was all she had left.

"I could wear a disguise, and cover up my scent. Or raise an army of the undead to defend them…" She'd neared him enough to feel the tension and heat radiate off his body, and cringed inside when he closed his eyes to keep from seeing her.

A final, desperate solution began to form in her mind, and she gave it voice as it played out. "You were able to let go of our past, and see me for what I'd become," she didn't dare say the word 'forgive'. It almost didn't apply. "And that happened when…" she looked at her hands, trying to remember at what point he'd changed, "when you had your chance to kill me…" her eyes widened. "Yes. At some point during my demise, the Wolf stopped ripping my skin and breaking my bones-"

"Shut up, Kagura-"

"And if I gave myself in surrender to the survivors of your tribe, and let them mutilate-"

"Kagura," he hissed.

"-my body until they felt as though they'd obtained their vengeance--"

"NO!" He barked, finally breaking composure and roughly grabbing her face in his shaky hands. "Gods, Kagura. No. Don't even consider that. They wouldn't stop until your spirit left your body."

She blinked wetly, feeling every one of his warm calluses against her cheek. "But Kouga…"

He quieted her with a sudden, crushing embrace, wrapping his forearms around her back, and holding her to him more forcefully than he ever had. "Foolish creature," he breathed, "This is killing me, don't you see that? If you sacrificed yourself on top of everything else, then this heartbreak really would put me in my grave."

Tears rolled down her cheeks in hot lines, and she clung to his armor, wishing for all the world that she could freeze this moment, and keep him forever. "More of your people's lives were lost, then," she stammered, "because of us."

"Yes…"

Understanding made it no less terrible. He released her all too soon, with a firm kiss to her brow. "Had…had our circumstance been different, I would have made you my queen," he whispered, and then pulled back enough to meet her eyes.

"Kagura. I love you."

She gaped, too stupefied to respond. Having made his final confession, Kouga's mask quickly fell back in place as he moved away from her. She might have stopped him, had his last three words not pinned her feet to the ground. And so just as abruptly as he'd arrived, Kouga fled. She instinctively called after him, a huge part of her still in denial, but he kept on. And when he disappeared, the strength left her legs. Kagura collapsed on the ground in a ruffled heap.

No no no no… she rocked back and forth, her nails ripping holes in the grass. Soil smudged her silken kimono, and wisps of hair fell from its barrette. Small weepy noises emanated from her lips as she dealt with an unparalleled sense of abandonment. Of loss. Of being severed from someone that she couldn't imagine a life without.

Perhaps she was going insane. Or perhaps the despair of losing him was clouding her judgement, but Kagura's mind still raced to find an impossible loophole…a way that she could merit his tribe's respect…enough to let her claim him for her own.

Dammit, Kouga. How am I supposed to just accept this? she wailed internally. I can't! And…and I won't.

She stiffened, surprised to hear her familiar strength fill those last words with an arrogant timbre. It felt so good, she said it again.

"I won't!"

Better still. She sat up. Stood up. And took several deep breaths. Her earlier idea of sacrificing herself to his tribe took form again. It was a tenacious notion that wouldn't leave her mind, so she decided to trust in it. More planning was in order. A lot more planning. But it would be worth it. He was worth it, and if she died trying to get him back, then that was worth it. The mighty Wind User wasn't sure about much in this new world of sunlight and hope…

But she was sure about Kouga.

And that was reason enough.

* * *

A WEEK LATER

Kouga swore liberally, cursing the day, and the weather that went with it.

The cold chill, and pelting droplets muddled scents to the point where his nose was useless. And what's worse, half his men along with the most able-bodied females had gone hunting down in the lower regions in preparation for the onset of winter, leaving them more vulnerable than they should have been. Something their enemies had picked up on, all too quickly.

"Where are they coming from!?" he backed into Poruka, and quickly took inventory of the few comrades fighting alongside him.

"Everywhere!" Poruka yipped, as he reached out to grab a fistful of weasel ear, and slam its skull into the ground. Kouga growled as he swiped at the nearest foe, sharp claws ripping through fur and bone. The mongrel opened its mouth in a silent scream, its macabre eyes having the audacity to look surprised.

"Bah! I told you I'd rip your guts out if you invaded our territories, didn't I!?" He hucked the carcass directionally, knocking out two more weasels with the catapult of dead flesh. "Who's NEXT!?"

Kouga dropped into a ready crouch, but for all his bravado, the wolf prince was frightened. Really frightened. The blasted creatures had attacked the nursery, this time. The casualties to the tribe's pups were something he had mentally blocked. He couldn't think about that now. This incident was already feeling too much like the battles of his youth. The ones that had killed his family and ran him off the mountain. He shuddered.

A blur whisked by in his peripheral vision, and he dove at it, only to come to a skidding halt at the last minute when he saw it was one of his own.

"Dammit, Hakkaku, don't camouflage yourself like that!"

"Camouflage?" his comrade ducked and swung as a rock was hurled at him. "What point is there in camouflaging? I want these bastards to see me!"

A scream sounded, followed by a chorus of screams. Kouga jolted in panic, and looked up to where the ones they were protecting had fled.

"SHIT! They circled around us!" Hakkaku yelled through the mayhem. "This bunch was just a decoy!"

Kouga had already burst in the direction towards his main cave. Those tricky, sneaky, filthy baby-eaters... Bits and pieces started to make sense as he raced wildly to intercept their enemy. This attack had been so deliberate and strategic that he couldn't deny the spite behind it. The weasels weren't just hungry - the nasty demons were looking to completely annihilate his tribe.

When he got to the wolf den, what seemed to be a hundred of the enemy cornering the tribe's females and pups, backing them against the overhang with jeers and taunts. Some of the braver tenderlings hissed and snapped at the approaching enemies along with their ferocious mothers.

Ah! So many!

With a growing sense of hopelessness, Kouga lunged desperately towards the crowd - only to be winded mid-air by several bristle-furred bodies. They threw him back, landing atop him with a heavy 'umph'. He tried desperately to throw them, but more jumped on. He watched in agony as the foul, sharp-toothed predators closed in on his precious tribe. More regrets than he could count assaulted his awareness.

Not like this...! We can't go out like-- his captors stiffened, and he blinked. Hn!?

In a moment too perfect to be coincidence, the weasel youkai were stopped. An abrupt barrage of clanging beings fell on them from above, seeming to materialize from the overhang itself. Kouga's captors jolted, and he capitalized on their distraction to slay them off him. With fur, grime and blood under his nails, he staggered to his feet, and swallowed, hard, as this sudden new ally took on a familiar identity. They were nothing less than an army of the undead - an assortment of skeletal warrios armed with rusty blades, daggers, and a bloodlust to match the weasels' own. Everyone was startled, even Kouga.

Especially Kouga.

Mixed feelings replaced the panicked rage, as he recognized this intervention could be the work of only one person.

Kagura…!

The army of the undead continued to dole out punishment without mercy or apology, raining hellfire and damnation on those who had dared to attack the youroukozu. The myriad of weasel youkai rapidly waned in numbers, the red and black slaughter being one of the most thoroughly executed Kouga had ever seen.

He realized that his part in this was over as the enemy retreated. The skeletal minions ambled after the survivors down the mountain, and something told Kouga that they wouldn't stop until all of the attackers were dead.

Rattling bones and the dwindling foes' screams echoed back up to them until the noises finally faded, and his den was once again filled only with the sounds of his own tribe. Bared fangs, and extended claws retracted, and scowls turned to teary frowns. The females turned and embraced their children, while the smattering of Kouga's comrades all looked to him with question.

All but Hakkaku, that was. "Ah! Kouga! Those were Kagura's armies!"

That old familiar ache of longing formed in his chest when he heard her name. His anxiety coupled with his relief in a way that left him mute. Oh, how he yearned to see her again, but curse the broad, he'd specifically forbidden her to intervene!

Regardless, his heart leapt as she dropped down amongst them, terrifying and beautiful. Her kimono was white with thick streaks of scarlet. Her hair, though wet from the weather was as perfect and manicured as ever. And her face…he wanted to see it, but she had her back to him.

Awed sounds, and a handful of accusations rang out from protective females who had heard Hakkaku's assessment of who she was.

"The Wind User?"

"She was the one who killed my husband!"

"You cold, heartless bitch! You wanted to save the kill for yourself, eh!?"

Growling thrummed through the den, and Kouga's gut knotted. Confused and conflicted, he cautiously stepped towards the biggest regret of his life, wanting to run to her, yet needing to show enough distance that his tribe wouldn't know what had transpired between them. He stopped just feet away, clenching his hands into fists in order to keep himself from taking those last couple steps and embracing her like he used to. "Kagura," he began, his voice betraying him with its shakiness. "I…I told you never to come here."

All was silent, and Kouga watched with growing apprehension as she slowly turned her head to give him an elusive profile. She spoke to him quietly, over her shoulder. "Where is the rest of your tribe, Kouga?"

As though on cue, they were interrupted by Gintu's holler. "Aah! What happened!?" The hunting crew emerged from the Eastern side, bursting through the trees as though they'd run all the way here. Boar carcasses and deer were slung hurriedly to the ground as they were met with wild chatter from the rest of the tribe. Amidst it all, Kouga got a few private words in with his people's nemesis and savior.

"I told you not to help us…" he whispered. "They'll turn on you, no matter how many of their babies you saved-"

"That's not why I'm here."

Her words, spoken with that deceptively melodic voice…the one she used when she was in complete control of a situation. Fear gripped him. Ginta, noticing who their guest was quickly voiced the question they all had.

"K-K-Kagura!?" he squeaked with unmasked trepidation. "What...what is she doing here!?"

The elemental demon squared her shoulders, and faced the pack of wide-eyed hunters. "Youroukozu," she called out with unnerving vibrato. "I believe your people have some unfinished business with me."

Kouga took a step back. Oh no…

The clanging of bones sounded in the clearing as her armies returned, blood dripping from their swords like saliva from a fang. Kouga's body knew before his mind did, as it revolted against him. He reached out and grabbed her bicep. He tried to spin her around, but she stood firm, refusing to face him.

"IDIOT!" he yelled. "I won't allow this! You're a fool if you think you can survive it!"

His tribe mistook his words for threat, and contributed with menacing comments of their own. Kouga's grip on her arm tightened as her minions gathered together, their eyeless sockets fixed on none other than him.

"KAGURA!"

Whisper. "Forgive me."

Without warning, she half-turned and swatted him back with a force he'd forgotten she had. Cries rang out as it launched him up in the air and directly into skeletal clutches.

"NO!" Spastic, Kouga bucked and writhed as they wrapped around him like tarantula legs, hundreds of bony hands trapping his body. His comrades tried to rescue him, but the undead immediately levitated into the air. The elemental knew what she was doing. Kouga wouldn't dare transform with his people so close.

"Kag…KAGURA! DON'T DO THIS!" he cried out as he arched his back, trying to break free. "IT WON'T WORK!"

He was ignored. By everyone, because at this point, his tribe wanted one thing. And that was revenge. The widows circled her. The males grabbed blunt-edged clubs. The glimpses from below drove him insane with thoughts of her inevitable death. Hysterical shouts turned to desperate whimpers as he was carried away from his tribe, his mountain, and her... Kouga's vision blurred rapidly. All the thrashing couldn't stop it from happening. All the prayers wouldn't stay their hands. In blind agony, he unhinged his jaw, threw his head back...

And screamed.


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