Death is Not the End
By Anime Queen
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A/N: First of all, I want to thank everyone for reviewing this!!! Not many ppl seem to click on this story, so here goes:
Cherry Blossom: you're the greatest!! Thanks so much for sticking with me from the beginning and reviewing (more than once, at that, too!!!) I want to dedicate this chapter to you!!! Hope you read it and like it!! ^^
Chiruri: I'm not sure if you're still reading this, but thanx anyways for the review!!!
twoc2bcool: thank you for reviewing!!! I guess that sometimes ppl *do* get around to my story (one way or another) ^^
Joey's Girl: THANKS SOOO MUCH!! I didn't expect to get another reviewer, much less one that took the time to R&R *ALL* of my stuff!!! Thanks again ^_^
To answer some questions: 1) True, Meilin did die in the first chapter, but! Later on in the story something will happen including her! So please don't quit just cuz she died!
2) Yeah, I did put that kiss in there for a purpose, and the purpose is: you'll have to read this chapter!!
I guess that's it, so enjoy, and please please please review!!! ^^
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or any of its characters. It's fanfiction, for crying out loud!!
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Chapter 5
Actually, when I woke up I felt more than better. It was as if something dormant awoke inside of me last night, with Sakura. I danced out of bed, and sang to a tune in my head. I didn't care if the people next door even heard me. I was staying at this hotel to, so I could do whatever I wanted.
I got dressed hurriedly. Sakura told me to call her. Did she mean on the phone? Oh well, I can just go to her house. Today was Saturday, so that meant that she was home. I grabbed my wallet in a hurry, and it fell to the floor open, with some change rolling onto the carpet. I sighed, and got down onto my knees to pick up the missing coins.
That's when the picture inside the open wallet caught me off-guard and I fell over. Meilin was smiling at me from the picture I took last year. Last year, when we weren't fighting. Last year, when she was still alive. It was surprising how a single moment like this could change a person's mood to the other extreme. Meilin was gone forever because of me, and all I could think about for the last 30 minutes was another girl? What was I thinking?
"I'm sorry..." I choked, gathering up my head in my hands, and collapsing on the floor next to Meilin's picture. "Why did it have to be you? Why were you in that parking lot?" I was starting to feel sick again, just like that time in the bank.
"I didn't mean to do it," I gasped, fighting to keep it inside until I could get off the floor and into the restroom, but I couldn't move. I tried to hold my breath, but it only gave me a headache. I was afraid to exhale, so I continued holding air. I felt my heartbeat get slower and slower, each beat coming with a sharp pain into my chest, threatening to rupture my ribcage. I was suffocating, and fast.
I shut my eyes, and an image of Meilin's face flickered on and off behind my eyelids. Is this what it's like to die, I thought sadly. Was dying like this for her, too? This is horrible. Meilin, I'm so sorry...
My breath came out in one violent shudder that shook my whole body. I thought I'd been sick on the carpet - it certainly felt like it in my stomach, but I didn't. My head still throbbed awfully, but at least I wasn't suffocating anymore.
It was a long time before I dared to open my eyes again. I stared dumbly at Meilin's picture in my wallet, as I felt my eyes brim with moisture. When I blinked, I felt two stains on the carpeting.
What am I to do now? Was last night with Sakura a mistake, I thought guiltily. And she expects me to call her. I would be a jerk not to. It wasn't her fault. I've messed up everything.
What would I say to her if I do actually call her? Hi Sakura, I can't go out with you because I'm not over my dead girlfriend yet. Hi Sakura, I still love Meilin, and every time I think about you I feel like I want to die. Or better still - Hi Sakura, I'm so pathetic moping around on the ground so you'd be better off without me.
Did I really want to dump her? Then why the hell did I kiss her?
I stared at the phone helplessly. What do I do now? I don't want to screw up with Sakura, but Meilin... I shook my head. Meilin is dead. My boss was right - it's time to get over her. She wasn't coming back, and I need to start another life. Having thus reasoned, I started to fix my appearance, in the horrible realization that it was already four o'clock in the afternoon.
I ran to her house, slowing down to a walking speed one block away. By the time I arrived at the front door I was no longer panting.
Sakura answered the door herself after I rang the doorbell a couple of times.
"Syaoran, come in," she motioned and then closed the door behind me.
"Hi Sakura," I smiled. All my previous worries seemed to evaporate.
We just kind of stood there, me looking at her staring at her shoes.
"What's wrong?" I asked her after she didn't make eye contact for over a minute.
"I... I guess I wasn't expecting to hear from you," she said quietly.
"Why?"
She looked up at me and forced a smile.
"Because I think..." she broke off the sentence and looked down again. "Maybe you're still in love with Meilin."
I didn't say anything, so she continued.
"Syaoran, do you really want to be with me, or is it just the fact that Meilin's recent death made you kiss me last night? Not that I'm complaining, I rather enjoyed it, but I wasn't thinking... Were you?"
Before I knew what I was saying, I was telling her everything.
"It's true that I'm grieved about Meilin. But she's not going to come back. And last night, I was thinking with my heart, and not my head. And my heart is telling me to move on..." I moved closer to her and put both my hands on her shoulders. "... with you."
She looked up at me and smiled for real.
"You mean it?"
I nodded, and she leaned into me, and put her head on my chest.
"It must have been so hard on you," she whispered. I continued to hold her against me. I realized that I wanted to be with Sakura. Not because I wanted to forget about Meilin, but because I wanted to be with Sakura.
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I hope that wasn't too short... I wanted to make it a little bit longer, but I kind of gotten another writers block (must be the season... -_-;) newayz, please review!! ^^
By Anime Queen
************************************************************************
A/N: First of all, I want to thank everyone for reviewing this!!! Not many ppl seem to click on this story, so here goes:
Cherry Blossom: you're the greatest!! Thanks so much for sticking with me from the beginning and reviewing (more than once, at that, too!!!) I want to dedicate this chapter to you!!! Hope you read it and like it!! ^^
Chiruri: I'm not sure if you're still reading this, but thanx anyways for the review!!!
twoc2bcool: thank you for reviewing!!! I guess that sometimes ppl *do* get around to my story (one way or another) ^^
Joey's Girl: THANKS SOOO MUCH!! I didn't expect to get another reviewer, much less one that took the time to R&R *ALL* of my stuff!!! Thanks again ^_^
To answer some questions: 1) True, Meilin did die in the first chapter, but! Later on in the story something will happen including her! So please don't quit just cuz she died!
2) Yeah, I did put that kiss in there for a purpose, and the purpose is: you'll have to read this chapter!!
I guess that's it, so enjoy, and please please please review!!! ^^
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or any of its characters. It's fanfiction, for crying out loud!!
************************************************************************
Chapter 5
Actually, when I woke up I felt more than better. It was as if something dormant awoke inside of me last night, with Sakura. I danced out of bed, and sang to a tune in my head. I didn't care if the people next door even heard me. I was staying at this hotel to, so I could do whatever I wanted.
I got dressed hurriedly. Sakura told me to call her. Did she mean on the phone? Oh well, I can just go to her house. Today was Saturday, so that meant that she was home. I grabbed my wallet in a hurry, and it fell to the floor open, with some change rolling onto the carpet. I sighed, and got down onto my knees to pick up the missing coins.
That's when the picture inside the open wallet caught me off-guard and I fell over. Meilin was smiling at me from the picture I took last year. Last year, when we weren't fighting. Last year, when she was still alive. It was surprising how a single moment like this could change a person's mood to the other extreme. Meilin was gone forever because of me, and all I could think about for the last 30 minutes was another girl? What was I thinking?
"I'm sorry..." I choked, gathering up my head in my hands, and collapsing on the floor next to Meilin's picture. "Why did it have to be you? Why were you in that parking lot?" I was starting to feel sick again, just like that time in the bank.
"I didn't mean to do it," I gasped, fighting to keep it inside until I could get off the floor and into the restroom, but I couldn't move. I tried to hold my breath, but it only gave me a headache. I was afraid to exhale, so I continued holding air. I felt my heartbeat get slower and slower, each beat coming with a sharp pain into my chest, threatening to rupture my ribcage. I was suffocating, and fast.
I shut my eyes, and an image of Meilin's face flickered on and off behind my eyelids. Is this what it's like to die, I thought sadly. Was dying like this for her, too? This is horrible. Meilin, I'm so sorry...
My breath came out in one violent shudder that shook my whole body. I thought I'd been sick on the carpet - it certainly felt like it in my stomach, but I didn't. My head still throbbed awfully, but at least I wasn't suffocating anymore.
It was a long time before I dared to open my eyes again. I stared dumbly at Meilin's picture in my wallet, as I felt my eyes brim with moisture. When I blinked, I felt two stains on the carpeting.
What am I to do now? Was last night with Sakura a mistake, I thought guiltily. And she expects me to call her. I would be a jerk not to. It wasn't her fault. I've messed up everything.
What would I say to her if I do actually call her? Hi Sakura, I can't go out with you because I'm not over my dead girlfriend yet. Hi Sakura, I still love Meilin, and every time I think about you I feel like I want to die. Or better still - Hi Sakura, I'm so pathetic moping around on the ground so you'd be better off without me.
Did I really want to dump her? Then why the hell did I kiss her?
I stared at the phone helplessly. What do I do now? I don't want to screw up with Sakura, but Meilin... I shook my head. Meilin is dead. My boss was right - it's time to get over her. She wasn't coming back, and I need to start another life. Having thus reasoned, I started to fix my appearance, in the horrible realization that it was already four o'clock in the afternoon.
I ran to her house, slowing down to a walking speed one block away. By the time I arrived at the front door I was no longer panting.
Sakura answered the door herself after I rang the doorbell a couple of times.
"Syaoran, come in," she motioned and then closed the door behind me.
"Hi Sakura," I smiled. All my previous worries seemed to evaporate.
We just kind of stood there, me looking at her staring at her shoes.
"What's wrong?" I asked her after she didn't make eye contact for over a minute.
"I... I guess I wasn't expecting to hear from you," she said quietly.
"Why?"
She looked up at me and forced a smile.
"Because I think..." she broke off the sentence and looked down again. "Maybe you're still in love with Meilin."
I didn't say anything, so she continued.
"Syaoran, do you really want to be with me, or is it just the fact that Meilin's recent death made you kiss me last night? Not that I'm complaining, I rather enjoyed it, but I wasn't thinking... Were you?"
Before I knew what I was saying, I was telling her everything.
"It's true that I'm grieved about Meilin. But she's not going to come back. And last night, I was thinking with my heart, and not my head. And my heart is telling me to move on..." I moved closer to her and put both my hands on her shoulders. "... with you."
She looked up at me and smiled for real.
"You mean it?"
I nodded, and she leaned into me, and put her head on my chest.
"It must have been so hard on you," she whispered. I continued to hold her against me. I realized that I wanted to be with Sakura. Not because I wanted to forget about Meilin, but because I wanted to be with Sakura.
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I hope that wasn't too short... I wanted to make it a little bit longer, but I kind of gotten another writers block (must be the season... -_-;) newayz, please review!! ^^
