Chapter 8: And the plot thickens!

Oh crap, this doesn't look good. Lana, dear, back away from the Shaun. Good, now put your hands where I can see them. Great. Now disregard anything he may have told you.

"Chloe, this isn't a cop drama. This is serious!"

Crap. That wasn't supposed to be live commentary. Dammit!!! So, ummmm…wait did he have to tell you?

"That you two,"- wow, nice evil glare. You've been around Carrie for waaaay to long- "were making out in the lunchroom."

"With excessive passion, if I might add."

Oh shut up Shaun, or I'll snap your pen in half, and then you'll suffer. And it wasn't 'excessive passion', Lana, I just leaned over and kissed him. And in case you didn't notice, he's gay. Hence the leather pants.

"And I swear Lana. It didn't mean anything."

Thanks Clark, and I'm really, really sorry. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise our friendship. I just wanted to all those rumours floating around about us.

"So is that all it is to you? Just a rumour. Just friends? I thought you were a lot of things Chloe, but I didn't peg you as somebody who played with other peoples hearts. Sorry, I'll just leave."

Lana, Lana, don't go. Lana, wait. LANA! Crap, she's a fast runner.

"Chloe! Chloe dammit! I can hardly walk in these pants! Running isn't exactly easy. Dammit. WAIT UP!"

Dammit! Crap. Now what the hell do I do? Clark, why the hell are you wearing those damn things if you can't walk in them?

"Ummm…they make my butt look smaller and Lex likes them, cuz they make him-"

All right. I did not need to know that. Forget I asked. Now what do I do about Lana? I really like her Clark, and now I just feel really crappy about that.

"I say we forget about her, and have a girls night out. What do you say?"

What about Pete? Won't he feel just a tad left out?

"Is Pete a girl?"

Clark, technically, are you a girl?

"No, but I'm more of a girl than he is. *sigh* And if you really want, he can come."

Oh, stop with the pouting already! Sheesh. It makes you look constipated. And I don't know if I'm ready to give up on her just yet. Clark…where's Lex right now? I want to ask him a favour.

~*~*~*~* At Luthor Manor *~*~*~*~

So, what do you think I should do Alexander?"

"Please, call me Lex. And you are asking me, the king of love-em-and-leave-em, for advice?"

"heeeeeey…"

"Oh not you Clark, you're the special one"

Oh god. Get that damn sick look off your face or I think I'll throw-up.

"What do you think I can do about it? Give you some good advice on how to win someone back?"

Hey. I figure, you've been with enough women…ermmm…people, I figured that you must've done something to one of them, somewhere along the line.

"Well, thanks for that vote of confidence, Chloe. But to be honest with you, I never had to beg a woman to come back to me, they always came back themselves. Luthor's don't apologise, because they're never wrong. My father always told me- Clark, knock it off. That miming thing is real crappy coming from you. Stop it! Or no sex for two whole hours."

"So?"

"Make it three."

"but Lexyyyyyyy…that's soooo long-"

"cut it out or I'll make it four. And stop pouting. It makes you look constipated."

Haha! Take that Clark. Who's the bitch now! Ooops. Sorry Alexander, you were saying?

** "Why don't you ever call me Lex?"

I do sometimes. Alexander.

But what would recommend? I don't know what I'll do without her Alexander, I honestly don't. I'll never be able to go to the Talon ever again, withour fear of having a blue flower, purposely tossed into my cappuccino. That's torture. I really, really, need some help Alexander. Please.

"Oh, all right. I'll help you"

Thannkyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!

A/N: I ripped the lines marked (**) off of Alias. Please don't sue me.