Renegade is a registered slave of GAINAX and Evangelion, not the other way around.

Hi again. Thanks for coming back to Evangelion: All is Right With the World. As usual, my thanks go out to everyone who reviewed. In particular, I'd like to sincerely thank ST Pika, C^rrot and Erik Hogan, all of whom actually emailed me, and Autophage, who, in a sudden burst of frenzied activity, reviewed all four chapters. These guys are all legends.

Heh heh heh… so, a few people are slightly agitated about Maya and Fuyutsuki in particular, and what I have / haven't done with them. Well, I have a plan for each and every character in the series, including Pen-Pen, and excluding Chairman Keel (but I can tell you he won't be back… the scum). Fuyutsuki isn't done yet – he's too cool to have a political execution. I won't be playing perfect matchmaker either, meaning I won't be doing a Maya / Ritsuko or Hyuga / Misato romance just because I CAN… that's if those characters even come back…

But, as I said in Chapter 01, I prefer the uplifting endings. Keep that in mind, but I'll add a bit that says I also prefer realistic endings. I want to write a story about what would happen after 3I, not what I'd like to see happen. That's what I'm hoping anyway… I don't even know if all that made sense.

Personally I was kinda disappointed with the last chapter though most people seemed to think it was decent enough… thanks for that. I felt Fuyutsuki was a bit soulless (I thought he was just a name, not a person) so I worked a lot harder on this chapter. It's a bit longer, intentionally… I'm enjoying this, so I'm stringing it out more. Last time we saw Shinji and Asuka the chapter was what happened during the day. This time, it's the night.

Hope you enjoy it, and I'd like some reviews if you think it's worth it.

Take it easy,

RENEGADE

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ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

05. Fight the Dawn

The second night since he had come back. Lying on his back on the concrete, gazing up at the stars with soft blue eyes, Shinji Ikari was wide awake. This did not stem from any fear or unease on his part; Shinji was far from unworried but so, of course, was everyone here.

He shifted slightly. Shinji had his hands under the back of his head… it was the closest thing he had to a pillow. Very little had been scavenged from the ruins during the day by the 'residents' of the auto-repair shop. Nothing more than a few tiny, tattered blankets thick with grime. Shinji and Asuka had gone searching for a TV earlier but of course they would have been fooling themselves if they thought they'd find one. The very buildings around them had been blasted into huge piles of dangerously unstable rubble, and their admittedly less-than-exhaustive search had yielded nothing.

When night had finally fallen the other members of their group had begun to settle down as best they could for an uncomfortable night's sleep on the cold, greasy surface of the garage. Asuka had loudly proclaimed that she most definitely would not be joining them and had then decided that she and Shinji would be spending the night outside, under the stars.

Shinji hadn't had a say in the matter, though truth be told he agreed with his volatile, redheaded companion. So here they were, lying companionably side by side (though definitely not together – Asuka had warned him with a twinkle in her eye that she didn't trust him in the slightest) and all alone. Sleep did not come to Shinji, simply because he did not want it to. He was thinking. Silently he grasped Misato's white cross that hung around his neck, finding a measure of comfort in its hard edges.

He had discovered an inner source of strength during and following the ordeal of Instrumentality. With the barriers of independent minds thrust aside, he had seen the depths of his friends' souls, casting away all doubt and confusion as to what they truly felt. Thus, many of the demons that had haunted Shinji throughout his lonely life had been laid to rest. He now understood his father's motivations, he had said goodbye to his mother and he was finally free.

And this was the cause for his sleeplessness: he was recollecting everything he had learned and finally understood, wondering and guessing and smiling in the darkness of the warm, quiet night.

But as well as the serenity he felt when he called up memories of his mother, he felt a mystic longing and forlorn sadness tugging at his heart when his thoughts turned inevitably to the two mystifying strangers that had somehow imbued him with an honest sense of unconditional love.

What are the two of you within my heart?

We are the hope… that one day people will be able to understand one another.

And we are the words, I love you.

Shinji's heart twisted with a yearning to see Rei and Kaworu once more, two sad and terrible creatures who had been doomed to die from the very beginning. Something, Shinji reflected bitterly, that they had wholeheartedly accepted.

Rei… a lost soul who had transcended three existences, continually called back to life by Shinji's own father. She had been nothing more than a pawn for Gendo Ikari right up until the end of all things, when she had rejected him at the time it most counted. Shinji had realised the kind of torture that Rei must have endured every single waking moment of her empty life, but as their souls had touched in Instrumentality, as they had reached gently into the corners of each others' minds, Shinji had felt nothing but peace. Rei… had felt at home.

The song is good. Singing brings joy to the spirit and revitalizes the soul. These were the first words that Shinji had heard from the serene and otherworldly Kaworu Nagisa, the Seventeenth Angel. Just thinking about him made Shinji's mind crawl with heartache and horror at the thought of the fate of one of his dearest friends. Shinji remembered the terrible, soul-wrenching guilt and despair he had screamed out in the aftermath of Kaworu's death. He, Shinji Ikari, had killed the one person who had not only understood him, but had utterly accepted him for the person he was, flaws and all.

Kaworu had seemed so innocent and pure, so tranquil and calming.

Lying on the concrete outside the auto-repair shop, Shinji remembered everything that had transpired following Kaworu's death.

Shinji had felt dirty. Filthy. He was disgusting. His friend's blood stained his hands. He hated. He hated! He wanted to end it all!

Wouldn't it be nice… if everyone would just DIE?

Even after Instrumentality he barely understood either of them, Rei or Kaworu. They were so alien to him, so mysterious… but at the same time he felt an unconscious bonding. He had been so afraid of Rei sometimes, especially when he had found out her terrible secret – or rather, Ritsuko's terrible secret.

He wished Rei was here, just so that he could tell her the things he had always wanted to tell her. She fascinated him. He cared about her, he didn't want her to feel pain or suffering… but at the same time, he knew that was what her entire existence was. He wished he had spoken to her more often, asked her how she felt, what she wanted to do. The relationship between himself and Rei was one of wanting to speak to each other, but not knowing how.

He wanted to get inside her heart and tell her that he was here for her, that she was not alone in the world.

And Kaworu… he had been the same, but his existence had not been one of pain and suffering. He acted as though he had found his lot in life, a pocket into which he fitted perfectly. He knew everything about his world and his place within it, and that revelation had given him a peaceful sense of terrible acceptance. It was his calling to end human life on the planet but he had instead chosen his own destruction, his own death, because he believed that people like Shinji deserved the world more than he.

…and yours is not the existence that should die.

Kaworu… I don't understand what you're talking about, Kaworu!

I thank you, Shinji Ikari. My life was meaningful.

Back in the present, a tiny tear appeared in the corner of Shinji's eye. He blinked it away, clenching his eyes shut as regret pounded in his heart.

He had seen them both in Instrumentality. They had touched his soul and he had been imbued with the quiet, silver light of their spirits, a light that gave him the strength to go on and make his terrible choice.

I'm sorry, Kaworu, he thought silently. Forgive me, Rei. I… I wish I could have given you both more. You deserved more.

Shinji wished he could see them both again, just one last time.

Just so that he could say sorry in person… and goodbye.

I love you both. I hope you knew that.

The stars twinkled overhead and in his mind's eye he could see Kaworu's kind gaze and Rei smiling at him from Unit-00's entry plug.

Shinji lay silent for a time, bathed in the faint light of the stars. Without lights and power, there was nothing to obscure their beauty, and Shinji felt calmed by it. He listened to the soft, rhythmic breathing of his companion and tilting his head slightly, glanced over at her.

He had rarely seen Asuka Langley Sohryu asleep. He had glanced into her bedroom in their flat as he passed it on occasion, but all he had ever seen was a disheveled pile of blankets with red hair. Of course, there had been that night during their synchronization training, a night that Shinji would rather forget and that Asuka took great pleasure in reminding him of.

Asuka had not been a relaxed sleeper in those days.

Every time he had seen her face, he had been struck by the unease etched across it. It was said while a person was asleep you could see their soul. Shinji knew that when Asuka was asleep she constantly tossed and turned, muttering and grimacing.

He had wondered what troubled her, but at the same time he had known she would never tell him. Even if he had been able to work up the nerve to ask her. All he had ever done upon hearing her muffled moans was just pad away back to his own room and put in his SDAT earphones until he fell into his own light sleep.

But now… all the lines of worry and anxiety were gone from Asuka's pretty features. She lay on her back, her head resting on an ancient piece of fabric rolled up into a pillow, bright red hair spilling down over her pale skin. One arm was draped over her stomach, the other cast wide, palm up to the night sky. As Shinji watched it, it twitched slightly and Asuka sighed.

Finally, Asuka was sleeping the sleep of an innocent soul. This was how she should look, how she did look when she wasn't forcing her aggressive self to the fore.

A gentle smile tugged at the corners of Shinji's mouth as he realised just how glad he was that she had finally let go.

That they had both let go.

Ice had run through his veins and his heart had turned to ash when he arrived in the Geo Front to see the massacred remains of Asuka's Eva. Bile had risen in his throat and he had screamed his very soul out. She had died.

Shinji breathed deeply.

No.

She was here now.

And that was all.

Tentatively, very gently, he reached out and, and not looking, gently rested his hand beside her own so that they were just barely touching. Her skin was soft and warm and Shinji lay back, eyes gently closing, tingling heart in a sense of serene peace.

"You just can't help yourself, can you pervert?"

Oh no.

Shinji's body went utterly rigid, his insides froze and he inwardly groaned. He very, very slowly turned his head onto its side.

Asuka's azure blue eyes were wide awake and narrowed, staring right at him. Shinji gulped and jerked his hand away.

"A… Asuka I'm sorry I didn't mean I just thought you know because I was thinking but I didn't mean it like that I'm sorry…" he stammered hoarsely. How did he get himself into these situations?

Asuka hoisted herself up onto one elbow and gazed at him steadily, waiting for a more coherent explanation. When one did not seem to be forthcoming, she shook her head with a small smile. "Idiot."

"I'm… sorry."

"Yeah, I picked that up," Asuka laughed quietly, just a hint of sarcasm evident in her voice. Shinji had wormed himself a bit further away from her as if expecting a retaliatory strike. He was now frozen, warily watching her every movement.

"You can come back, dummkopf. I'm not going to do anything."

Shinji said nothing but somewhat reluctantly he inched closer, back into his original spot. He didn't lie down fully, as he was still nervous Asuka might launch into an attack.

"Can't keep your hands off me, huh Third Child?" Asuka snickered with a stifled yawn. To be honest, she was not particularly surprised Shinji had attempted this little maneuver again.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to do it, Asuka, I just…"

"Typical male," snorted Asuka, throwing herself back down to the concrete, hands behind her head. "Only after one thing… and can't even take responsibility for that!"

"It's not like that, Asuka!" Shinji pleaded. "I wasn't thinking… like that…" Shinji stumbled as he realised he had been set up.

"Then just what were you thinking, Ikari?" Asuka said, leering at him.

Shinji blushed fiercely. He turned away. Asuka smirked at him from where she lay, cruelly waiting for an answer. Sure enough, she got the one she was expecting.

"I… I don't know… I… was…"

"At least you didn't try and kiss me, I suppose," Asuka commented, gazing up at the stars and idly tapping her feet together.

"Like I said, it wasn't like that," Shinji muttered in a voice barely audible. He had drawn his knees up to his chest and was trying to bury his face in them.

Asuka looked at him curiously from her position lying down. "Hmm? So… why'd you try and hold my hand this time?"

Shinji didn't answer. Asuka sighed to herself. "Lie back down, you're making me nervous!" she commanded. Shinji quietly obeyed and after a moment they were both back in their original positions, albeit awake this time.

They lay in silence for a moment.

A small smile crept over Asuka's lips. "Have you ever been interested in any particular girls, Shinji?" Just as Shinji began to answer she added, "Besides me?"

"No," said Shinji before he could stop himself. He silently cursed himself before repeating his answer again in a muttered whisper. "No."

Asuka's head jerked to the side so that she was facing Shinji. He didn't look at her, just kept his stare upwards. "What about Wonder Girl?" she interrogated.

For some reason, Shinji was always unafraid to talk about Rei. He didn't normally display any of his usual nervous disposition and this ticked Asuka off somewhat. Teasing Shinji had always been her way of finding things out about him.

"No," Shinji replied quietly. "It was different between Rei and I."

"Between you?" a slightly annoyed Asuka demanded, probing incessantly.

"Yes."

Asuka was getting mad. "Oh, really?" she said in a voice laced with menace.

"She was so… different. She was like nothing I'd ever seen before," Shinji went on, oblivious to the fuming girl beside him who was glaring at him intensely. "I wanted… to talk with her. I wanted to see who she was."

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way, jerk face," Asuka snapped.

"I… liked her," Shinji said with a small smile. He still hadn't noticed the venom in Asuka's voice. "But not… like that…"

Asuka refused to accept this. "Is that so, Third Child?" she snarled. "Well, perhaps you've forgotten about a little thing called Instrumentality? A little thing where our minds and souls get merged into one? A little thing where we can see each others' memories?"

Shinji did not answer.

"It just so happens that I was given a peek into your memories, Shinji!" Asuka ploughed relentlessly onwards. "And imagine what I saw? You, lying on top of Wonder Girl, who just happened to be butt naked! Would you mind telling me just how you liked her, then? Ach, mein Gott in Himmel!"

Shinji lifted his head as he looked over, an upset expression on his face. "I… I didn't mean for that to happen!" he protested angrily. "Rei knew that! It was an accident!"

"Oh, I'm sure," Asuka countered furiously. "You didn't mean to just waltz into her flat uninvited at all, did you? You didn't mean to spend so long lying on top of her, you didn't mean to peek at her when she was getting dressed and you definitely didn't mean to have those disgusting thoughts going through your thick head! Argh!"

"I'm telling you, I didn't mean to!" Shinji almost yelled, visibly shaken. "Why can't you just accept that!"

"I can't accept it because you're a pervert, pervert!"

"Well you've done similar things, haven't you?" Shinji cried angrily. "Instrumentality wasn't one way, Asuka! I saw what you're really like, you know!"

Asuka stopped, narrowed her eyes and, glaring at him, hissed, "Think very carefully about what you're going to say, Third Child."

"Kaji!" Shinji cried, hurt. "I saw what you were doing to him when you were on your way to Japan! You tried to get him to… you know! And you were always… going up to him… and… and…"

"I was within my rights, Ikari!" Asuka screamed. It was lucky they were a good distance away from the auto-repair garage. "It's my life and I can do what I like!" She calmed, took a deep breath and said airily, "Kaji was the man by which all other men were judged. So what if I had feelings for him? They're none of your business."

"Well… Rei is none of yours! I didn't like her like that! But it wouldn't be any of your business if I did!"

"Fine," snarled the redhead.

They lay in sullen silence for a time.

"You hated me, didn't you," Shinji said softly after a while.

"What?" Asuka said irritably.

"When you told me. After the Fifteenth Angel… went inside your mind. You said you hated me. And you meant it."

Asuka's scowl faded into a look of sadness. "Yeah," she almost whispered.

Again there was silence.

Finally, Asuka spoke again. "I didn't have a choice."

"I know."

"I hated everyone."

"I know."

Asuka sighed miserably.

Shinji shifted slightly, as if he were uncomfortable. "Did you always…"

"No," Asuka said shortly, interrupting. Her voice was hard, but its edges were shaking. She could feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes. Furious, she reached up with a hand and savagely rubbed the moisture away.

Shinji felt, rather than saw, Asuka's unhappiness. "A… Asuka…?"

"What?" she snapped.

"Do you remember… when we met each other?"

Asuka managed a grim smile. "We're not together yet, Ikari."

"I know," Shinji said, blushing in the darkness.

The girl laughed sharply. "If I remember correctly, I wasn't impressed by the amazing Third Child. Not to mention the rest of the Three Stooges."

A smile formed on Shinji's lips. "Yeah," he agreed.

"Although I admit you did look pretty in the plugsuit I gave you," Asuka snickered.

Shinji groaned in embarrassment. "You're always doing that kind of stuff to me!"

"That's right!" Asuka said gleefully, previous depression forgotten. "You remember our synch training?"

"I remember I had to find you when you ran away, after Misato threatened to drop you from the operation," Shinji snorted.

"And you did a great job with your pep talk," Asuka replied sarcastically.

"You didn't let me say anything!" Shinji protested indignantly. "Why'd you have to go to that corner store, anyway? Did you forget what we were wearing?"

This time Asuka did laugh, a natural laugh unaccompanied by cynicism or mocking tones. "Misato would have gotten a kick out of that."

"I was used to Misato by then. It was Touji and Kensuke I was worried about…"

"Those dorks definitely would have got a kick from seeing me in that getup," Asuka said dryly.

"I… doubt that," Shinji replied carefully.

"And what is that supposed to mean?!"

"Nothing," Shinji said quickly as Asuka glared at him. "Remember the volcano?" he asked just as she opened her mouth. She shut it with a snap, grinning at the memory.

"Yeah… that wasn't what I expected when I said I wanted to go diving! And geez… I'd rather have dived into that lava wearing my swimsuit than that disgusting one they made me wear."

Shinji chuckled softly, though silently he agreed that that's what he'd rather see Asuka wearing. He blushed. You are a pervert, he scolded himself. But then a corner of his mind, a cheeky corner that Shinji was unaware even existed, replied with, So? I'm only human.

"There was definitely a few things about that mission I'd rather forget…" Asuka went on.

"Yeah," Shinji agreed, privately recalling the events that had transpired in the hot spring afterwards.

"But that disgusting suit took the cake. I can't believe they tried to turn me into a luftballon."

"A… what?" Shinji asked, confused.

"Red balloon," Asuka grunted.

They both giggled.

"You jumped into the lava and caught me," Asuka commented after a moment.

Shinji nodded hesitantly. Even though it was dark, Asuka caught the movement.

"The Invincible Shinji," Asuka said with a tinge of bitterness.

"It… was you who beat the Angel," Shinji offered meekly. "I didn't do anything."

"I know that," Asuka replied crossly. She seemed trying to say something.

"You don't have to say anything…"

"I wasn't going to!"

"Oh. Okay. It was strange, really," Shinji murmured, half to himself.

"Huh?" Asuka looked over, eyebrows raised. "What was strange?"

Shinji let out a short, nervous laugh. "When I grabbed your Eva, you… I don't know. Were different. You looked different on the viewscreen… um. And sounded different to what you normally sound like…" He struggled for words.

Asuka looked at him strangely. "Why, what did I say?"

"Ah… you told me… 'Idiot. You showoff.'"

"And?" Asuka said impatiently as if that sentence was the most natural thing in the world. Truth be told, it probably was.

"It was the way you said it," Shinji answered, giving up. "You looked at me… like…"

Asuka shook her head in exasperation, giving up. She turned away, returning her gaze to the stars.

"Like you almost cared," Shinji said quietly. He sighed and turned away as well.

Asuka started and blinked a few times, not comprehending. "I… almost… what?"

"It's all right, Asuka." Shinji turned to look at her again, smiling sadly. "It doesn't matter, really. I'm glad you're all right and I'm glad you're back and I'm glad I understand you. But…"

"No, I…" Asuka struggled with herself. "That's not what I meant, Shinji…" She turned to over again and now they both lay on their backs, faces towards each other. "I… remember. I… mean, no, that's not what I mean… you know, I… do… sort of…"

Shinji blinked. Asuka bit back a growl, knowing he was just trying to get her to say it.

"I… do care, Shinji."

There was tense silence for a few moments.

"Me… too, Asuka."

Even though the darkness obscured their features from one another, Shinji and Asuka did not need facial expressions to understand that they had finally, finally, with a few simple words, built something that bridged the gap between them. There could be no more guessing at one another because now they knew. This opened other doors… having spent almost the entirety of the last year trying to understand one another, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu now began to wonder… what do we do now?

But both of them, even with their radically different views, beliefs and personalities, came up with the same answer: who cares.

In the warm, inky blackness, Asuka could feel Shinji's nervous but (no doubt) hugely relieved half-smile. She allowed herself one of her own.

Reaching out, she found Shinji's startled hand in the darkness.

If Shinji was stunned at Asuka's revelation, the one he had dreamt, wondered and hoped at for a very long time, he almost threw up with surprise on the spot when he felt the touch of Asuka's hand and her fingers entwining with his own. His heart was pounding in his throat and he wondered hazily if Third Impact had been so bad after all.

They lay there, hand in hand, unable to see one another, Asuka smiling at the stars, Shinji trying to keep the meager contents of his stomach down.

He eventually calmed, taking many deep (silent) breaths and steadying his thoughts. The hold they shared was not a tight one… rather it was relaxed. It was not one that said, don't go anywhere. It was one that said, I know you're here.

Shinji didn't dare move, afraid he would ruin the moment, instead concentrating on the feel of Asuka's soft hand.

"Never held someone's hand, Shinji?" Asuka snickered, fully aware that he hadn't but wanting to make him state it anyway.

Shinji flushed a deep shade of crimson, glad Asuka couldn't really see him.

"Me neither," Asuka smirked when Shinji didn't answer. "Not like this anyway."

"You neither?" Shinji blurted in surprise. "I mean, I just thought, well…"

"No," grunted Asuka. "First time."

"But… I would have thought… I mean, you're…"

"Beautiful, yes, I know," Asuka said carelessly.

"Er… I was going to say… experienced…"

"Mmwhaaat!?" screeched Asuka, shocked.

"No! No!" Shinji hurriedly put in, flustered. "I meant I thought you would have been… um… you know… asked out… a lot. At… um… college. And school."

Asuka subsided, glowering. "Luck is with you, Third Child," she muttered, giving his hand a not-so-gentle squeeze that made Shinji wince. He was relieved, however, when she didn't let go. "No. Well, yes, I did get asked out a lot… obviously."

"Obviously," Shinji obediently agreed.

"But I went to college because I was a genius. Am a genius," she corrected herself smugly. "And it doesn't take a genius to figure out what the males-disguised-as-the-scum-that-collects-under-the-school-desks wanted. I only talked to them when I had to. That was all."

"And… school? I know… you were popular. Your pictures were getting expensive…"

Asuka narrowed her eyes at this innocent slip. "Yeah, I know," she lied. "There were a couple of vendors, right?" she asked, making it up as she went along. "Who did you know that sold them?"

"Oh, I only knew about Touji and Kensuke."

"I see," Asuka murmured darkly. Images of Kensuke Aida on fire and Touji Souzahara being run over by a bus flashed across her mind. If she ever saw those two again, brutal revenge would just be the beginning. "Interesting."

Beginning to wonder if he had just done something terrible, Shinji nervously said, "Asuka…"

"Well, to answer your question," the redhead interrupted sweetly, "the pathetic attempts made by the male population at our school to impress me were worth laughing at, nothing more."

"You… did have a date… remember, on the night you… we… uh…"

Asuka chortled. "Oh yeah, that night. Pah," she sneered. "Hikari set that up. I only did it as a favour for her, I didn't even know the guy. That worm was nothing. I barely even looked at him. He was just like the jerks I knew in college but he was boring into the bargain…"

"Oh. And… Kaji?"

Asuka sighed inwardly. She had been expecting this question. "Shinji… I… I'm going to try and tell you something, all right? So don't interrupt." Shinji almost did so but checked himself just in time. "I… didn't always care. For you or for anyone. I thought that the only person who cared about me… was me. So I didn't care about anyone. As a result of it I grew up fast. Really fast."

She sighed again. "I was a grown woman by the time I was twelve. But all anyone ever saw was a girl trying to be a woman. Do you understand how hard it is to get accepted for who you are?"

Shinji understood all right, but he obediently kept quiet. He felt Asuka's hand twitching a little in his.

"People were only willing to accept me for the person they saw me as, not as the person I saw me as."

"That's like me and piloting Eva," Shinji murmured, unconsciously interrupting. Asuka didn't notice, merely nodded.

"So… when I met Kaji, I thought… here's my chance. Here's my chance to prove I'm a grown up. But not even Kaji saw me as that. He saw me as this cute little girl," she said bitterly. "But it didn't matter. My feelings for him were real. But at the same time…" she sighed wearily. "At the same time, they weren't. I forced myself to feel that way about him so that I could prove I was a woman to the world."

Shinji nodded sadly. He didn't like hearing about her feelings for Kaji, but he didn't interrupt.

"The feelings were so… hollow," Asuka murmured. "I felt so… fake. Like I knew it wouldn't happen but I couldn't give up because I never did that…" her voice trailed off. "In the end, it meant nothing. To both of us."

"I… think I can understand."

"I doubt it," Asuka said quietly, tightening her hold on Shinji's hand. "I hope you never do."

"So… are you… um… a girl or a woman? Now?"

"I don't know."

"I guess… it doesn't matter, really."

"I guess not."

They lay in comfortable silence for a little while, both digesting everything that had happened.

"Asuka?"

"Hmm?"

"I know you don't like it when I say it, but I… really mean it this time…"

"What?"

"I'm sorry. About what I said before."

"You didn't really say anything," Asuka snorted. "You only mentioned Kaji. And… what I…"

"I'm still sorry."

Asuka sighed inwardly. She seemed to be doing a lot of that these days. She was still uncomfortable with apologies, but she was here, and she was holding his hand, and he had said it to her first…

"Yeah. Me too," she muttered, almost sulkily.

She could almost see Shinji's smile.

"Shinji?"

"Um… yes?"

"It's only been one day since we came back from the LCL."

"Yeah."

"A whole lot has happened, but not much at all."

"Yeah."

"We slept pretty close last night."

"Yeah." Shinji's voice was getting more nervous.

Asuka rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Come here, Shinji."

He meekly shuffled closer, slightly disappointed as Asuka released his hand. She raised her head a little bit.

"Now spin round so I can lie down."

After shifting themselves around, Shinji lay on his back against the concrete with Asuka's head resting on his chest so that they formed a T-shape. Asuka groped around in vain before giving up and waving her hand over her head, in front of Shinji's face. He obediently took it in his own and Asuka rested both of them on her stomach.

The indestructible redhead yawned mightily.

Shinji shifted the blanket under his head, the one Asuka had been using as a pillow before swapping it for Shinji's thin chest.

"You smell terrible, Ikari," Asuka commented.

"Huh?"

"You need a bath."

"You don't smell so great, yourself," he shot back tiredly.

"Hey, Shinji?" Asuka managed, yawning again.

"Yes?"

"Let's never stop fighting," she said with unmistakable glee in her voice. "No matter what happens, let's never stop."

Shinji laughed wearily and looked down at a side on view of Asuka's pretty features, now with an expression of tiredness written all over them. He could see the silhouette of her red hair spilled across his body. He could feel the softness of her hand in his own, even as Asuka began to stroke it with the other one. He could sense her serenity.

"Could we?"

"No."

"All right, then."

Asuka chuckled sleepily. "Idiot."

"Good night, Asuka."

"G'night… Shinji. Sweet dreams."

"Yeah," he murmured. With one hand he squeezed Asuka's, with the other, Misato's cross. In his mind, he thought of Rei, of Kaworu, of Touji, of Kensuke, of his mother… and, of course, of the redheaded girl resting on his chest.

"Pervert." Asuka smiled contentedly, just before she dropped into a peaceful sleep.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:  Well, a fairly long chapter, taking place over a single night, in which nothing (apart from Shinji and Asuka's conversation) actually happens. Things will happen next chapter; it's time to bring back a few more old faces. I think I've gone through all the problems that have been haunting Shinji and Asuka – piloting Eva, their mothers, their feelings, their past, their loneliness… if you can think of any other demons that need exorcising tell me, I'd appreciate it. By the way… Autophage, if you read this, I wanted to ask you something. At the risk of sounding like an arrogant git, what is an EFO? Ok, I think that's it… reviews, comments, criticism, especially suggestions… I'd like to hear it. Finally, thanks for reading.