Title: Murderer's Touch

Author: I_nv_u50

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer/Claimer: same old, same old…

Warning: Slash!! Whee!!

Author's Notes:  Chapter 13 :D 14 might be out soon because I feel like writing now… yay me! Of course, it'll be out by Monday morning at the latest, so don't kill me for the cliffhanger, please!! (giggles maniacally as she ducks behind kylan)

The Golden Dragon  ~  Thaelin freaked because he saw a Herald come up behind kylan and since he doesn't have the cleanest reputation, he was understandably worried :D added to the fact that brynn's presence only proved the rumors, thaelin is now worried about their reaction to kylan's 'betrayal'… gah, what a spoiler XD if you didn't want it spoilt, pay no attention to that last bit . aww, that's sad T.T I hate it when your favourite characters die… (ie, lendel and lan and van (although technically he's not really dead. Or he is, but he isn't. you know?) it makes it so sad and really incomplete in a weird way. I have no money either. I know exactly what you mean :D 'cept my complaint is that I can't by enough anime… mmm, gravitation novels are on their way out… completely unrelated, have you tried yaoi anime? It's so cute!! XD I'm glad you like kylan. Cause he's really not so bad :D unless, of course, he wants to kill you. Then he's evil in that cool villain-ish kinda way, you know? Why is it that villains are usually so cool? O.o;;; lol… I have that same problem with nearly every book I read. Sucks, don't it? XD

etcetera-cat  ~  lol he certainly needs it, doesn't he? I wonder if they have therapists in valdemar… aside from mind healers, I mean. Heh. That suits him perfectly, I'd say :D he'd probably be most excited with 'recruiting' test subjects XD  I think it's cool that you know all that :D I'd get it all screwed up in my head before I learnt a third of those big words. Must be fun to randomly insert them into sentences and watch everyone pretend they know what you're talking about XD must be even more fun proving that they don't know what they're talking about and watching their faces XD … I have a weird sense of humor . mwahahahahaha!!! Brynn's time will come… oh yes, his time will come. (cracks evil grin and runs off cackling)

ola  ~  whee!! I almost made that happen, but then I realized that it would be chronologically incorrect T.T considering Carlen dies when kylan's 13, and delia dies when … er.. sometime before brynn's sixteen, it doesn't add up T.T which is a pity, because it would have been cool O.o; heh. I go to bed extremely late… really. Which inevitably means I end up sleeping til past noon when there's no school, but it doesn't affect when I go to bed. Chapters are more likely to crop up late, cuz by that time, I'm the only one awake and I don't have to worry about my brother needing the computer XD the only other computer we have isn't connected to the internet. Which sucks. Devoni's based on a friend of mine. I'd prefer him, in reality, to be a companion, but that doesn't quite add up to the definition of reality, does it. Damn. I wish valdemar were real. Interesting is the fact that my friend always says that about me. To which I throw something at him. Honestly. Am I right in the head? Probably not, but they shouldn't be stupid enough to ask outright should they XD on another note, I'm glad you love the story! ^^

psycho tabby cat  ~  quite honestly, I don't know how I do it either :D ah well. I'm not complaining XD they are strangely short, aren't they? O.o; ah well… it's usually the best place to switch perspective. Take this chapter for example… oo, I'm gonna get killed for ending there XD thanks for reviewing!! ^^

frizzy  ~  Thank you!! ^^

DARKMEW13  ~  hope it was soon enough for you ^^ the next chapter will be out by Monday morning… hehehehehe… thanks for reviewing ^^

Fireblade  ~  lol. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with insane muses :D they sure make things interesting, don't they. Hope they didn't hurt kylan though O.o;; thanks for reviewing!! ^^

darkdancer  ~  (evil cackle) Evil, that's me :D but don't worry… you're not alone… I'm always reading when I have more important things to do XD I'm glad you're enjoying it, thanks for reviewing!! ^^

Next chapter will be out soon!! ^^  As a side note, I'd like to point out that Thaelin and Kylan don't have any 'background' to them, they're just friends. And please ignore Kylan who is currently wiggling his eyebrows at Thaelin. Damn muses. XD … other than that, not much happens. Just some silent angsting by kylan, which is funnier for me, but that could just be my mood at the moment. Dunno. Anyway, read, enjoy, and please review!! ^^

Kylan contemplated the food in front of him, sulking because he was so bored and Brynn wouldn't let him out the room. He hadn't moved from the suite for three days, and Kylan was beginning to understand why 'House Arrest' really was a serious sentence. Aside from the short ride they had had a few days ago, Kylan hadn't been allowed to leave the suite for any reason.

He hated it.

But it was hard to remain miserable when Brynn spent as much time as he could with the blonde. To Kylan's pleasure, and slight embarrassment, they were more affectionate with each other now. Kylan had moved his makeshift bed closer to Brynn's in an effort to be closer during the night.

He wouldn't tell the Herald why though, and he knew that the Herald thought him afraid of the dark, or some silly reason like that. Kylan grinned at the thought and poked his food with a fork. It looked edible… vaguely… but he wasn't about to take the chance.

Just like he couldn't take the chance and the risk of having the Herald hate him. He had almost given in to the bond completely now, and had accepted it – as much as he could.

"Are you going to eat that or play with it?" Brynn's voice interrupted Kylan's busy thoughts, his tone lightly teasing.

Kylan looked up with a sincere smile, happy just to be able to be with the Herald. "I don't know if it deserves to be eaten by the likes of me." He had meant it as a joke, but his voice came out surprisingly defeated.

Brynn blinked at him, bemused as Kylan tried to play it off. "What I meant was that I'm too good for it."

Brynn hummed thoughtfully, not taking his eyes from Kylan's, and Kylan felt his face heat up and gave a sheepish grin before looking down at the table again.

Brynn watched silently for a second before reaching across the table and tugging the food away. "I think you are too." The Herald told him quietly.

Kylan looked up at that, shocked, and his blush deepened. He didn't know why he felt so absurdly pleased with the remark, and put it off to the lifebond. It was a stupid thing sometimes… but he was glad to have it.

The Herald seemed to have forgotten his attempt to leave, and Kylan was glad, because guilt still tore him up when he thought about it. He knew they were both safer without each other… and he felt worse because, even though he knew that, he was still too weak to give it up. Even for his bondmate's sake… He was too selfish.

He was just about to ask what Brynn had left to do today, because he wasn't teaching anything yet. Apparently there were a few more Companions acting restless, which meant there were going to be more Choosing in a few weeks. The King had thought it best to wait until the next lot was in, and then start Orientation classes. Ultimately, this meant Brynn could spend his days with Kylan, and the time spent together was something they both enjoyed, even if there was an underlying tenseness sometimes.

And then Brynn stood up so quickly he knocked his chair over. His face was resigned and sad, and Kylan gaped up at him. "What? What's wrong?"

Kylan didn't like the look Brynn gave him then. It was sad and resigned still, but there was an unspoken warning, and a lot of mournful remorse. The younger boy immediately felt more defensive.

"Kylan…" Brynn started, and hesitated. He tried again. "Kylan, Devoni says that Shaelin… She's going fast."

Kylan scrambled out of his chair. "Where is she? She can't die. She 's not supposed to."

Brynn's face hardened, and the realization hit Kylan like a ton of bricks. It was all his fault. He sank to his knees weakly, letting go of his grip on the back of his chair as he went down, his eyes suddenly blank. It was all his fault.

Brynn squatted in front of him, concern lurking in those still granite hard gray eyes. "Are you all right?"

"Does it hurt?" Kylan whispered softly, not answering the question. "When they die, I mean. Does it hurt?"

"Devoni says not usually… Only in other situations. Shaelin will die peacefully."

"Good," Kylan murmured hoarsely. "I can't go see her, can I."

Brynn shook his head wordlessly, his eyes softening slightly. Kylan was grateful for the comfort, but he couldn't bear it, because the Herald obviously blamed him when he was trying not to. Not that Kylan really minded, he blamed himself as well. Hell, it really was his fault. He lifted a hand carefully and pushed Brynn's chest, almost making the Herald overbalance.

"Can you leave me alone for a while?" Kylan asked softly.

Brynn's eyes searched his before smiling understandingly and putting a hand on Kylan's shoulder, which he used to push himself up. Kylan closed his eyes when the hand descended on his hair, lightly caressing it.

"Don't be too upset, Kylan. She'll be a lot happier where she's going. I know she will. It's a celebrated fact that bad things don't happen to us when we die."

"You…" Kylan repeated slowly. "You, as in humans and stuff, or you as in Herald and Companions?"

Brynn's expression turned sympathetic. "Us as in Heralds and Companions."

Kylan nodded slowly, feeling his heart drop out of his body. Brynn left quietly, shutting the door behind him.

After a while, Kylan struggled up from the floor, and made it to Brynn's bed. He chose that one mainly because it was easier and softer to fall onto, so when he did tumble onto it, it didn't hurt.

He was still sad about Shaelin's death. She had been a good… person? He wondered what exactly to call her. Well, whatever, she had been quite nice to him, especially since he knew she had wanted to kill him a few times. Like when he first met her. She had probably wanted him to die before they had even spoken to each other, but then she had forgiven him.

Far more painful to remember was the time he had tried to drop the bond. It hurt to think about it, yet the far more serious ache was the thought that maybe he had been right to try.

If it was only Heralds and Companions who knew for a fact that when they died, they went to a good place. They were confident and assured about that, it was fairly obvious. It wasn't like any of them deserved to go to hell anyway, not after years of being good.

Normal people might have made it to Haven as well. People like Carlen, who were good and kind and your average cheerful person who wasn't so average after all. They would have been able to get their reward in Haven.

What could a murderer claim for his reward?

Torture. Eternal and everlasting torment for a soul. Nothing good awaited him when he died, not after the things he had seen and said and done… That would be painful enough in itself…

But knowing he was doomed to spend the rest of eternity without Brynn… That was hell, pure and simple, more agonizing than any general opinion of hell that any other person had.

Kylan frowned to himself, ignoring the stinging behind his eyes, and rolled over onto his side, bringing his knees up to his chest.

If it had been preordained that they separate eventually, then maybe they should have separated earlier, because surely once they were already apart, nothing could hurt and scar as bad as the initial break up could.

Candlemarks passed. Brynn didn't return. Kylan was disappointed that the Herald had so far neglected to make an appearance, but he was more relieved anyway. He didn't want to appear too weak to the Herald anymore than he did already, and Kylan still hadn't managed to make himself uncurl yet.

He was going to hell.

The thought brought on a curious kind of simple detachment. He knew he wouldn't try to break the bond again. He was too happy with it, and if he had to live forever in agony, then he'd rather be happy for this short time. The thought made him feel faintly guilty and selfish, but he pushed those away without hesitation. He was sick of being stupid. He was tired of being weak.

With a scowl, he sat up, suddenly determined to try and forget his thoughts, since they were doing nothing but make him miserable. He briefly debated with himself the use of ringing a page for something to eat, because supper was supposed to have been candlemarks ago. He decided not to, and got off the bed to start looking for Brynn, guessing that the Herald was with Devoni.

He usually was. Kylan smirked to himself, perfectly content with the idea. He didn't get jealous easily, and it was obvious to him that Brynn depended on Devoni as much as Kylan depended on Brynn.

This time, Kylan wasn't afraid to admit to himself that he did depend on the Herald.

He had opened the door of the suite before senses long trained and attuned began to prickle, and deeply embedded instruction took over as he crouched automatically.

He kept quiet. One of the first they were all taught was that if you speak, you could startle the person into calling for some help. Or you could scare them so much that they attacked you before you were ready.

The hair on the back of Kylan's neck rose. He was one of the best they had had, he was sure, but they had all the instructors that had taught him. And those teachers, he was sure, had all held back some teaching, to ensure that the older, more experienced fighters could always beat the rebels. Easily, even.

Kylan had seen some of those rebels, both before and after they tried to gain some status. They had always turned out worse than the instructors. And they had always been better than Kylan himself. It was only logical, common sense that the instructors could beat him to a pulp with one hand; maybe even kill him.

Kylan crouched lower, his eyes darting around the empty looking hall repeatedly. It wasn't a page. If it had been, he would have seen the uniform by now.

The garden door opened from inside the room, and Kylan jumped back, whirling around to face the inside of the room as he did so, prepared to fight.

The firelight flickered on a familiar face, and Kylan let himself relax slightly. He was all right so long as no one else was with the visitor.

"You can close the door, you know," Thaelin told him, eyes fixed on Kylan's immobile body. "You might want to."

Kylan agreed silently, but scowled for show as he pulled the door closed behind him. "What are you doing here?"

Thaelin shrugged, and wandered carefully further into the room, keeping his attention cautiously on Kylan, although Kylan knew he was examining the room as well. His suspicions were confirmed when Thaelin spoke again. "Fancy place you've got here. Is the bathroom as big as it looks?"

Kylan nodded silently, narrowing his eyes. "Have you told them about me yet?"

Thaelin physically flinched as if avoiding a heavy handed smack. "I wouldn't do that. Not to you."

Kylan believed him. "Then why are you here?"

Thaelin made another halfhearted shrug and crouched in front of the fire, relaxing enough to stare into the flames instead of at Kylan. "Wanted to see if the rumors were really true. I wouldn't believe that you planned that meeting in the park."

"I didn't," Kylan spoke, and went to sit next to his friend. "I saw you and just wanted to talk, that's all."

"But shit Kylan, a Herald? Why the hell would you want to start an affair with one of them?" Thaelin pulled face that eloquently suggested his distaste at the idea. "They're so… clean."

Kylan nodded, understanding immediately. Nobody but the others in their group would have understood. "It's more complicated than that though."

Thaelin turned his head to watch the other boy, his eyes carefully guarded. "Be careful, Kylan. I didn't tell them anything, but they're starting to get angry now. They want to know how much is truth and how much is rumor, you know."

Kylan's heart stopped for a second, frozen at the chill implied in Thaelin's words. "You sure you didn't tell them?" he asked the other boy urgently, turning to face him directly.

Thaelin looked disgusted. "I don't rat, Kylan. I'm happy you got out. I wish I could… But it's not going to happen. The best thing you can hope for is that they somehow improve security in the servants entrance to the Palace."

Kylan allowed himself to laugh softly, falling easily into the familiar repartee of discussing security. Anything to ignore the danger. It was too much to handle for today; he'd settle it tomorrow. "I thought that was how you got in."

Thaelin grinned back. "You know that's my specialty."

Kylan nodded, then paused. "Do they know you're here?"

"No," Thaelin replied softly, and turned his attention back to the fire. There was silence for a few moments, both boys letting the fire fill the silence before Thaelin continued.

"They think I'm robbing some house down the road. Apparently there's a party at Court tonight so-"

Footsteps approaching cut him off, and Thaelin jumped up with enough speed to make Kylan certain that the black-headed boy was jumpy and nervous. He ignored the footsteps, sure that they'd pass the room.

Kylan rested a hand slowly on Thaelin's shoulder and jerked him forward to examine his face carefully. There were a few indistinct bruises and a couple of lacerations, but it wasn't anything too serious. "Are you all right?" Kylan asked. "Want to stay a little bit longer? Brynn's probably at that party you mentioned, and I'm sure he won't mind if –"

The door flew open. Kylan started, and then blinked in that direction, forgetting Thaelin's close proximity as he stared silently, and with growing apprehension at Brynn, who suddenly looked furious.