For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1; the song "Wish" belongs to hitomi.
A/N: Not quite a songfic. This is an interlude that is broken into three parts with three important players.
(This takes place during the previous chapter)
CHAPTER 11: An Interlude~Existence
If this image that I'll probably forget like time escaping me could revive me, it woke me up.
If we change our words and walk on this way full of splendor, I wonder if these shaky feelings will start to bleed out
Bracing myself against the subway wall, I become a glimmering memory again.
So if I should stop time was I dreaming by myself?
Will I repeat the fragile meetings once again?
To a world that reaches my heart...
Peter Pettigrew was lying, curled up on his bedroom floor. He hired two wolf hunters to kill Remus and he realized Voldemort probably wanted him to kill Sirius too eventually. He knew it was always his job to destroy the ones that especially pissed Voldemort. Peter had given Voldemort everything to make his dreams come true which included his family, his hand, and his sense of worth. Voldemort said that Peter had no place left to go anymore and he was right but Peter felt that he was always nowhere to begin with. The only person ever to make Peter feel important, feel human was James...no one else, not even the other Marauders came close. Peter never would never give up the precious feelings that James gave him to some faceless archwizard dictator...unless those feelings never returned anymore. Upon getting married and having a child those feelings faded into the background for James. No amount of manipulation could trick Peter into giving up his secret, it his decision, his choice to do it. He wondered at times why he quietly hated Lily Potter so much even to this day. He was happy that James got married, he was happy that James had a child. Then Peter realized it was because Lily and Harry became James Potter's first priority. He could live with that, right?
Peter thought, make that knew that no one would put him first in any sort of relationship anymore.
Lily and Harry took that away. There was nothing wrong with them but they simply robbed him of his only way of living.
Many people, including Voldemort, wanted Peter dead. That was okay, nobody would miss him then.
Why did Harry have to live? If he died on Halloween then everything would have been over. Nobody would bother him anymore; he could finally live with himself.
He hated Harry, now more than ever. He kept him alive, made him suffer more by telling Sirius and Remus not to kill him.
He eventually sacrificed his hand for Voldemort's resurrection and used Harry's blood.
Harry didn't die then either.
Peter cradled his real hand. He knew, one day he'd probably no longer be human anymore. Something in Peter heart stirred.
Screw Voldemort, since he wanted Peter dead he was under no obligation to follow him anymore.
He'd destroy the Marauders completely this time. To finish what he started.
Sirius, Remus, Harry and himself.
Peter knew it was time they all had to die. There was no point in living anymore.
A shudder passed through his heart. It would be like destroying James twice now. Then the absolute horror seeped into Peter's immortal soul.
Not once did he care about James back. James was always the kind who gave without caring about what he got in return.
He didn't care about James the way he cared about him.
From the first meeting on the train, to Halloween night, to right now on a bedroom floor, Peter had simply been lying to himself.
Ever since he could remember.
The image I'm seeing of the rising clouds almost splitting apart but still fitting together, I relate to it.
Evanescently, I felt someone's everything
I'm wondering if we can understand each other
I was wandering meaninglessly, but I'm living for the here and now, while holding the hammering beat in my chest.
So if I make it through this night will I be betrayed by pain?
Make me see the future you believe in
To an infinite, expansive universe....
Ron Weasley was sitting in his room of the Burrow. He just got back from a pleasant afternoon with his grandmother, sister and mother. It was something he liked but he was worried that he missed an opportunity to be with Harry. At this point though Ron wasn't sure if he and Harry could get along anymore, not because they fight, but because they don't really seem to connect anymore like they used to. Harry lived in a world that was so far removed from his own. Ron for once soberly looked at the facts and came to a conclusion.
It wasn't about being poor (Ron could work hard and be well off someday)
It wasn't about being famous (Ron realized this was shallow)
It wasn't about being a hero (Ron knew other people aside from Harry could come to the rescue)
It wasn't about magical ability (Ron knew if studied and practiced hard he could be stronger)
It was about how he and Harry were two fundamentally different people. If Harry wasn't famous he knew people would still favor Harry over Ron because he was an empty-headed, useless, person. Ron realized how shallow he was after he looked back on the mirror of Erised incident with Harry. He only thought of his own self while Harry saw people he wanted to know, to love. Ron laughed now. If Harry had a normal wizarding upbringing he's probably be just as plain as him. Ron was still laughing but a bitter thought rose to the surface.
Why can't he at times see past The Boy Who Lived?
Simply, because he was a national icon before he met him and would stay that way even after he left.
People could care less about what happened to Ron Weasley.
Ron bit his tongue, consciously. His loved ones, which included Harry and Hermione would care. Very Much.
He'd hurt himself on purpose so that he wouldn't forget that, ever.
He hurt himself a lot lately.
Harry was a very kind young man who gave of himself without needing anything in return.
Harry only needed Ron to listen to him or smile to make his life more bearable.
Ron wondered at what point those things weren't enough for him to make life bearable.
Why he had this need to validate his reason for being...wait Harry did that.
Ron watched the fragmented clouds amid the red sunset out his window.
Ron wondered when he stopped caring about other people outside his circle of friends and family.
Harry would never do that.
So if I should stop time would I be dreaming by myself?
The fast approaching sadness is painful
To a future that bears no real substance...
Draco Malfoy, in his room, heard the house elf relay the familiar message that his father would be late and to have dinner without him...for about the hundredth time. If being at your house during the summer from boarding school meant that you could see your parents again, Draco sure didn't know it. Spending a little time with your father that was luxury for Draco Malfoy. His dark secret, that he was in an alliance with Harry Potter, would surely shred the precious connection Draco had with his father but Draco had a plan. Make Harry useful somehow. If Harry and Draco could somehow further Lucius Malfoy's personal agenda then he wouldn't hate Draco for being with the "enemy" so much. His father loved him. It hurt Draco that his father, a proud, noble man was at the feet of another. He felt the same way about Severus too. Sometimes Draco questioned the validity of Severus' feelings towards him. If they were true or if he was just like that so that he would be using him as a means to get back at Potter for one reason or another. As he was making his way towards the dining room he thought that if Harry had died on Halloween, he be in the future that his father had promised him a long time ago. A future where they rule over all, where they could control everything...with Voldemort's blessing.
Draco thought that was a load of bullshit.
He knew deep inside, his family could be better than the Riddle legacy. He knew about the mudblood secret of Tom Riddle but kept silent out of fear.
Draco would remake the world into something where he and his father could live in peace.
And they would thank Potter for it.