Summary: You don't want to read it. It's a one chapter-er of nothing at all. It's me being VERY insane and you should all thank Sticky.
Rating: R for extreme silliness. (Actually PG).
Authoress's Notes: You have been warned. You don't want to read it. Why are you?
Yes, I am the almighty Authoress, Abigail, Goddess of the Insane Hyper Fanfic Authoresses (which is us, dears.) I rule supreme. So when I say I want to write a fanfic where I go to Hogwarts, I can. Know why? CAUSE I AM THE AUTHORESS AND GODDESS OF INSANE HYPER FANFIC AUTHORESSES AND CAN DO WHATEVER I PLEASE!eat that! Anyway.
So one day, the authoress decides to go to Hogwarts wearing a knee-length purple raincoat and thigh-high purple boots with her hood up, holding a purple umbrella even though it's not raining because she can. And she goes back and forth from third person to first person in a very haphazard manner. Anyway.
And because I am the authoress, when she runs into Harry, Ron, and Hermione, she is not surprised because she is writing it. Anyway.
"Um, er, who are you?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I am Abigail, the Authoress of you," she said obviously.
"Er, right," Ron said, obviously thinking she was mental. Which, of course, she was. But she gets to decide that. But again, Anyway.
"Are you sure you're feeling all right?" Hemione asked worriedly.
Abigail glowered. "I rule you!" she said superiorly. "I RULE YOU ALL! I CAN MAKE YOU LIVE OR DIE!" she shouted to the hall, laughing insanely and cackling with her own power. "I RULE THE WORLD!!!!"
Riiiiight. Anyway.
Then, out of nowhere, her good friend (who was very afraid of her) named Sticky popped up. "Is she scaring you?" she asked Harry, Hermione, and Ron, who nodded worlessly. Sticky nodded like she expected no less and turned to Abigail. "Now, Abby, I think it really would be much nicer if you could just...stop...typing," she said, trying to pry my fingers away from the keyboard.
"NEVER!" I shouted. "I RULE SUPREME! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I shouted as Sticky pulled me away from the keyboard, kicking and screaming. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
And fortunately, because Sticky is much smarter and much more merciful to you than me, this fic is ended. I hope you enjoyed it, because it made no sense whatsoever. Anyway.