~Chapter 35~ Hiya! This is the last chapter!! Yay!! Ok..Wow..thanks for all the reviews!!! I got 80 reviews..maybe more but all I know is 80 so I'll shut up now and go on with the story. You know who and who I don't own.
****Soda's POV****
I stood there, nodding my head and trying not to cry. Carmen and Daphne had already started crying but they were girls so it was ok for them. Plus they were Socs, greasers just didn't cry in front of people. Or at all.
The whole gang was looking my way, I guess waiting to see if I would cry, but I willed myself not to. "Soda," Darry came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder as the doctor left. "everything's going to be alright."
I pulled away from him. "No, it won't!" He looked at me, shocked, usually I wasn't the one back talking him. That was Pony's job.
"Let me talk to him." I heard Carmen sob and then I saw her pull away from Steve a little and come toward me. Darry just nodded and went to sit down.
I guess I could talk to Carmen. Me and her both had something in common. We were both going to lose someone we loved. Riley.
Why did I deserve this? I mean what did I do? I finally fall in love and we finally make everything ok and then she gets hurt. It just wasn't fair.
Carmen pulled me back to reality when she tapped on my arm and motioned for me to follow her out to the hall. I did. "Sit." She demanded and patted the floor next to her. I listened and did as she said. I wasn't in a very good state with just hearing that my girlfriend was dying.
"Soda, honey." Carmen wiped her eyes. I don't see why she was trying to talk to me because she was just as upset.
"What?" I asked in a whisper. I would not let her see me cry.
"I know you're upset. I'm upset too, but I'm sure everything is going to be ok."
"Carmen, I love her. How can you just assume she's going to be ok? I mean serious reality has a hard time coming through to me, it really does. But this sunk in really fast and it hurts. A lot." I felt a tear well up in my eye. "Its hurts a whole lot. Like, it feels like a knife is being shoved through my heart and slicing it in two. I finally fell in love and she hurts me. Just like every girl I've been with. Just like Sandy." The tear slid down my cheek and I brushed it away hurriedly.
"Sodapop Curtis! Don't be afraid to cry." She sobbed and started crying even harder then she was a minute ago.
"And how can you say she's hurting you? She's not. You're hurting yourself sweetie. Why'd you fall in love with her? It wasn't supposed to be like that. I mean you weren't supposed to fall in love with her. I figured something like this would happen if you guys got together. You two just aren't meant for each other. But I guess you really do love her so don't worry so much. I love her as a friend, but you don't see me sitting here and bawling and worrying." I wondered what she was talking about. What did she mean we weren't supposed to be together?
"You were supposed to get together with Sandy, Soda, not Riley." It all came together. What she was trying to say. She meant that I was supposed to love another greaser and not a Soc, yet she liked Steve. Riley wasn't like that. She didn't care, but I guess Carmen was different. She always had been and always will be. "Just stop worrying, Soda." I shook my head. Typical Carmen, to not give a care in the world.
"Carmen, she could die, and.." I stopped to brush a tear from my eye. "I'm afraid. I can't live without her by my side." Carmen was about to say something but she stopped when I said that.
It was hard to admit that I was afraid and I had just told her. Yeah, she was my friend, but I usually never told anyone, except Pony, what I was feeling. And Riley. I could always tell Riley what I was feeling.
"Soda," She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "You really mean that don't you?" I nodded my head. Of course I meant it. Riley had always been in my life. Her and Carmen both, although I didn't really talk to Carmen very much.
I had known Riley and Carmen since I was eight years old and they were always my friends, but nothing else. But now I couldn't imagine my life without her. "I love her."
"You've always had feelings for her, haven't you? Ever since we were little?"
"Ever since you were a little girl and I was a litte boy." I sobbed and gave up on trying not to cry. "That day, when you were wearing your purple jacket and purple pants and Riley was wearing her pink skirt with the big white polkadots and her little white shirt with the pink butterfly on the sleeve. Riley said something to me, and that was when I knew I loved her. She asked me if I wanted to play with you guys. She didn't care that she was a Soc and I was a greaser." I looked over to Carmen.
"You remember that? That was the day that we all met." I nodded my head. I couldn't forget that day. It was when I fell in love. "So why didn't, I mean why were you with Sandy and not Riley? She's liked you forever. Well loved you forever. She fell in love the same day you did. When we were walking home I remember her saying "I'm going to marry that boy someday." And I just laughed because you were a greaser." Carmen looked at the ground. I guess she was ashamed to be calling me a greaser. Although I don't know why she'd be ashamed now. She'd been doing it all her life.
"Sandy, was just, I dunno. She was there for me, and she was a greaser, like me. And besides that I thought I loved her. I tried to forget about Riley because I didn't think anything would ever happen between us. Like you said, I'm a greaser and she's a Soc. You do the math." By now I was bawling like a baby and couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried.
"Soda, sweetie, you're not supposed to be the one crying. She's my best friend, not yours." She hurriedly wiped a dry tear off her face and I suddenly felt stupid sitting there, bawling like a baby. I was supposed to be tough, but Carmen was the one being tough.
"I, I'm going to go see her," I said to Carmen and started to creep down the hall toward Riley's room. The quietness of the hospital bugged me something awful. I just wasn't used to places being quiet. My house was always loud, with people arguing and shouting and wrestling, and so were the other places I usually went, The DX, The Dingo, etc.
The doctor was leaving as I was entering the room. He didn't look very amused or happy, so I stopped him. "Whats wrong?"
He shook his head and looked at the file on his clipboard. I think he was debating whether or not to tell me. "We," His voice cracked, as if again he was debating whether or not to tell me. "I think Riley has only a few hours, maybe even minutes left."
"Why?" I felt tears glistening in my eyes again, but I had to ask the doctor why. I wanted to know why this was being so hard on her.
"As you know she suffered a gunshot wound to the chest. The bullet hit a main artery located there and she was already weak from so much blood loss. We haven't been able to get the bullet out and we're giving up now. You can see her if you please." He walked off, down the hall and into another room.
My heart sunk and so did my hope. They were giving up. They really weren't going to try to save her. She was really going to die. I would have to live without Riley. That was impossible. I couldn't do that.
Weak from so much blood loss? Why'd she have to go and cut herself so much? It wasn't fair how everything happened to Riley. My Riley.
I whipped back into reality and wiped all the tears off my face. I had to be strong for Riley but when I walked into the room and saw her lifeless body lying on the bed, with bandages all over her chest and tubes in her, I almost started crying right then. I couldn't stand to see her like that.
"Riley," I whispered. She moved a little bit and groaned. "Sweetie, don't move, your tubes'll come out." I choked on the invisible lump in my throat. The invisible lump that wouldn't go away.
"Soda," I barely recognized her voice. It sounded so tired and weak like a camera without a flash or a book without words. I walked toward her and sat down in the chair nect to the bed. "Am I ok?" She whimpered.
I didn't know how to answer that so I didn't. "Honey, Riley, I love you and I always have." She smiled faintly.
"Soda, you know when my life was messed up?" I nodded my head and wondered where she was going with this. She could barely talk as it was, yet she was still trying to talk to me.
"You were always there for me and I love you for that."
"Oh baby, I love you too." I caressed her soft blonde hair and gave her a gentle yet passionate kiss on the lips.
"My life has been messed up so many times and you were always there for me. Even when we were little. Remember that time when I was bawling because all of my friends were mad at me because Colin, thet guy that they all liked, asked me to the Halloween Party? I was ten and you were eleven but I remember you being there for me." I nodded my head to agree.
"I remember, I told you to stop crying because you deserved to have a good time with the guy and your friends were just jealous of you."
"Yeah, you're the best Sodapop." I didn't want this moment to end, but I knew it had to. Riley seemed to be getting weaker with every breath she took. "I'm ready now Soda. I love you, but I have to go now." She was gone.
I just sat there holding her hand. How could my Riley be gone? I loved her and I couldn't live without her. A tear slid down my cheek and landed on her hand. I was hoping it'd bring her back, like all those fairy tales, but it didn't work. My baby was gone.
I walked out of the room, tears streaming down my face. "Sorry," I murmered when I ran into a nurse carrying a tray of food, causing her to drop the food everywhere.
"Hey! Aren't you even going to help me clean this up? Kid!" The nurse, who was an old lady, called after me. I didn't stop though. I ignored her and ran into the waiting room. The gang, including Carmen and Daphne were playing cards but turned to look at me.
"Hey buddy," Steve stopped mid sentence when he saw the look on my face.
"Soda, whats wrong?" It was Darry.
"It's Riley. She's, she's not, she's gone." I was surprised to hear that my voice sound calm. I expected it to sound upset, seeing as I was upset and my hands were shaking.
"What?" Carmen's voice sounded shaky and funny, but it might have just been me. I was in a funny mood, considering the love of my life had just died.
"What? I didn't even get to apologize to her." To my surprise Dally's voice actually sounded upset. That was strange. He was tough and hard and he didn't feel anything except hatred. Pure hatred. Yet somehow he was feeling sad and upset. Maybe even a little guilty for not telling her he was sorry.
"Come on PepsiCola." Darry called me by my nickname that Dad had given me. Darry only used it when he knew I was upset. "We should get home. There's not much we can do here now." I just nodded my head and followed the gang out of the small waiting room.
Steve was cradling a crying Carmen in his arms and Ponyboy was hugging a stony faced Daphne. Nobody was there to comfort me. For once Riley wasn't there when I needed someone. Then again, she was the reason I needed someone.
Riley's parents weren't even there. They didn't give a damn about her. They didn't deserve Riley or Daphne, and now they really didn't have Riley.
When we got back to the house I ran in to my room, threw myself on the bed and just laid there, trying to sort everything out.
My life had started out so good. I was always the happy go lucky Sodapop Curtis but not anymore. Today it started out good but now it was so complicated it hurt to even think about it. I just had no clue what to do and what not to do. The only thing I could seem to do was cry and cry and cry some more.
Knock! Knock! There was a knock at the door and I just sobbed. "Its open." Steve walked through the door and sat down on the bed next to me.
"So you're upset, huh?" I felt like screaming, "No Steve! I'm not upset, that's why I'm bawling!"
The only thing that I could get out of my mouth, though was a pitiful, "yes."
"Everyone's upset. Even Dall, and you know how unusual that is." I nodded my head. That was the only thing I could seem to do lately. Nod my head.
"Its just not fair, Steve! I finally got with her and she left me." I knew I was being selfish, only thinking of myself. "She had the perfect life. I mean she was finally ok, and done cutting herself and then this. Everything's moving to fast, Steve."
Steve didn't say anything for several minutes but then he did something I never thought he would do. He patted me on the back and told me that he was there for me if I needed or wanted to talk. I don't know why this shook me; I should have known Steve would be there for me. He was my best friend.
He left after awhile and I started thinking about how complicated my life was, again. Riley always thought her life was complicated and I never knew what it felt like, but I now I did. And I needed to do something about it.
I slowly opened my door and walked down the hall to the bathroom. Tears in my eyes I reached into my pants pocket and pulled my switchblade out.
I slid it across my arm and watched the blood trickle out of the cut. Riley was right, it was satisfying.
~A/N~ Ok..thats the end of this story!! What did you guys think? Good? Bad? I glad that I got 80 reviews! Yay!! Maybe 20 people will review on this so I can have 100 reviews!!! Lol!! Anyway I'm thinkin about writing a sequel to this story, should I? Oh yeah sorry about making Riley die…it just popped into my head so I wrote it!