-Yorda-
By Julie Danskin
Author's note : Please remember to review!!!!!!!! I need support, man, support my cause, cos Yorda rox the world, 'tis true! In the last chapter, Small Things, Yorda sang "You were there," which was the song at the end of the game during the credits. This is not my song, though it is absolutely gorgeous and I sing it wherever I go. You can tell I've completed the game 6 times can't you? I keep setting myself time limits, and I keep getting all angry at the Queen and the Shadow Demons and I KICK THEIR ASS! I'm actually frighteningly good at it.. Anyhoo! On with the story.
Chapter 4 - Destiny -
Another long night. This had been the third consecutive day Yorda had dreamt about her mother. Yet she hadn't mentioned anything to Ico, and had no intentions of doing so. But she knew that if they continued he would figure out what was wrong eventually, and she would have to tell him. She certainly couldn't lie to him, her boy, her rescuer, her Ico. He was still asleep after countless nights of fear. She watched him quietly, trying to forget her nightmare. But it was hopeless, and the dream lingered in her mind vividly, waiting for her to fall asleep again so it could engulf her without resistance.
"Yorda."
"Mummy?"
"Yorda, why do you insist on shaking the cage?"
"I want out, Mummy."
"No, Yorda. I told you."
"Just for a little while."
"No. Now stop struggling. You will get out."
"When?"
"When it is time for you to fulfill your destiny."
There was a pause. Then the nine-year-old Yorda had spoken again;
"Is that long?"
"I don't know."
Her head was full of bad memories. They entered her head every time she closed her eyes, only the sight of Ico was a relief from her misery. Not being able to stand being alone any longer, she shook her companion's shoulder gently. "Ico, Ico, Farras nara garee!" she whispered in his ear desperately. He stirred, and groaned irritably. "Yorda? Yorda, what is it? What's going on, it's still dark!" he told her, slightly annoyed at being woken so early. He had had a good, long sleep, but it had been interrupted by his sole purpose in the world at that moment. "And what does that mean?" "It means "please wake up". The sun will rise soon! Please, Ico, can we leave?" she pleaded, still shaking his shoulder, a look of terror in her eyes. He recognized it. It was the same when she had seen her mother when she and Ico had first met. The Queen had towered above Yorda, and she had looked away from Ico, ashamed that she had him trapped, she was sure that her mother was going to take her, and destroy her new friend. But she had spared him. Why, though? Why had she spared his life?
"What, now?" Ico said sleepily, picking himself up and zooming Yorda back into reality. "Please, Ico. Please. I beg you," she moved her hand from his shoulder and clasped his left hand desperately. He felt it. Her hand was shaking. "Why?" he asked, not immediately jumping to her needs. She seemed reluctant to tell him, "Yorda, what's wrong?" "My mother." she started, and faltered. Ico wasn't going to let her escape him. "What, Yorda. It's alright, she's. she's gone. You don't have to worry about her anymore." He told her gently. She looked up at him, frightened out of her wits. "My dreams. she's been getting me in my dreams, Ico. She can't get me while I'm awake but she can while I sleep." "But she's dead, Yorda. She can't get you at all." "Don't understand. You don't understand." She was shivering now. He cocked his eyebrow, concerned. "Tell me, then. I'll understand if you tell me, Yorda." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. going to get me."
Very concerned, Ico pulled his hand away, and pulled himself and her into a sitting position. "Yorda. Yorda, listen to me! Nothing is going to happen to you while I'm here, I managed it before, she's gone, Yorda, and her demons, all gone. Not coming back," he forced her eyes into his, and talked firmly but kindly, and her fear-filled eyes calmed a little. "Not coming back. Not coming back. Not in body, no, Ico, but in mind. She'll be there until I do something." she replied, sounding quite crazy. Ico was persistent. "Look, Yorda. Do what. No, don't look away! WHAT?" he yelled, and he saw Yorda flinch. His child-like temper had frightened his only friend. The only one he loved. She stood, terrified. He tried to pull her back down, but she forced herself out of his grip, and ran along the shore.
He saw her stumble. He saw her fall.
"YORDA!" he cried, and sprinted towards her body, which was lying front down in the sand. Her luminous clothing shimmered elegantly in the dawn, which had sprung upon them. He bent down on ne knee. "Are you okay?" he asked her, as softly as he could. "Allowi Yass." she whispered, staring up into his eyes, propping herself up. "Yorda, what does that mean? I'm so sorry, Yorda! Please. Yorda, speak to me! Please, Yorda!" Ico pleaded, another forbidden tear running down his Asian face. She had stood up now, and he was still on the ground.
She began to run away from him, saw him looking at the sand. She was about a hundred yards from him, she had run a long way. She looked at him, crying helplessly on the beach. Pity and regret flooded her, and she began to walk slowly towards him again. She knelt down in front of him, and tipped his chin up with her index finger. "Yorda," he choked, "Yorda, please. don't go." She smiled into his eyes, and wiped the tear away. "Allowi Yass means goodbye," she told him, and he sobbed, "And I tried to leave you, didn't want to bring you into what I must do. Now I understand we must do things together, Ico. You and I, it is our destiny to be together. We will go wherever we must go, and I will follow you." He wiped away his tears gathering in his eyes, and smiled at her. "How do you say thank you?" he asked her in a whisper. "Sarro Mari," she replied, "I said it when I had to let you go on the bridge back in the castle." "Well, Sarro Mari, Yorda. And I will follow wherever you go. What must I do to help you, and I will." "It may involve a stick," she warned him. He grinned wryly. "Let it be," he said. She laughed happily, no longer frightened. "Let it be," she repeated.
* * * * * *
After an hour, the fact that Ico had nearly lost Yorda again was forgotten. It had not happened. Yorda and Ico were one, and that was the way it was to be. The Queen was gone, and Princess Yorda's concealed bud could now flourish. Or so Ico thought. The fact Yorda had turned back did not abolish the fact she was still having nightmares. She saw the Shadow Demons more frequently now, in the nights that came. As she gained her strength, they became more vivid. The irony was overwhelming. She decided it was time to tell Ico.
"Ico," she whispered to him, after they had finished their meal consisting of fish and various fruits, and he looked at her, as if expecting a light comment on how nicely he had prepared the bananas. "Yes, Yorda?" he asked her. "Well.you know I told you I was having dreams, a few days ago, when I." she faltered, and looked away, embarrassed. "It's all right Yorda. I remember. What about them?" Ico said cheerily, as if whatever she said did not matter. She was slightly irritated by this, but then remembered he was only a child. "Well..it's just.they haven't stopped." she continued, and he looked up, now wondering if it was worth worrying about or just some after-effects of losing her mother and home so quickly. "What are they about?" he asked her. "When I was younger, in the.in the cage, where my mother put me as a child. They used to lower the cage to where you did, and they would fly up to it and give me food and water. They would tease me and would scream at me, hiss in my own language I was going to die very soon. I thought at one point they were only playing.a child should never." Yorda bowed her head again, the memories causing her slender throat to crack, her soft, sweet voice becoming hoarse with grief.
Ico reached out a hand and took her shoulder gently. He shook it with his arm slightly, and she looked up. "Tell me," he told her, very quietly. It soothed her soul, his volume, his gentleness. His childlike concern was enough to strengthen her for what had to be said, "It will help." Yorda nodded, and cleared her throat, casting away the tears, revealing a defiant strength within her gentle and kind yet corrupted spirit. "She keeps telling me not to defy her," she told him earnestly, "She tells me that she will let me down when I am ready, I tell her I am cold. She tells me to be quiet. Then she is nice to me, like a mother should be to her young daughter. She is cruel, all I do is cry, then I see the spirits again, taunting me, prodding at me, telling me my mother will kill me. I don't want to believe it." "It happened, Yorda," Ico told her, still in his calm voice, soothing her, keeping the atmosphere peaceful and safe. "It's all over, now. You will forget in time, the nightmares will go away, you'll see." "It's different, Ico," she whispered, "Different, it's so.real." "Nightmares are real," he said, "It's things we fear playing in our minds over and over. Don't let her frighten you, Yorda. Don't let her win." He smiled at her, taking his hand off of her shoulder, winked, and slowly stood up and walked away behind a corner, no doubt looking for wood for the fire.
"Countless visions they haunt me in my sleep You were there Though forgotten all promises we keep," Yorda sang, contrasting views between the past shadows that haunted her and the times she was having with Ico. Why didn't she rest, feeling safe and secure? Yorda sat, staring at the smouldering ashes of the fire, the carcasses of the fish lay beside the wood, forgotten by the Princess. There was something missing in all of this, something that didn't quite fit in everything that was supposed to be. She would have to discover what it was, and why it was affecting her so badly. She wouldn't have to be alone, though. She had Ico. He would keep her safe.
Ico had been away for about an hour, and Yorda was beginning to get quite bored. She sat, rocking her knees, watching the sand seep through the gaps between her toes. Once, she rocked too far backwards, and landed on her back. She spread herself out like a sand angel, making marks in the sand for wings. She smiled to herself, and stared at the sun for a couple of seconds until it hurt her eyes, and beautiful coloured spots flashed across her vision. Now sleepy, she let herself be engulfed in the sand and the sunlight, and allowed herself to sleep.
"Yorda." "Mummy?" "Yorda." "Mummy? Is that you?" "No." "Who are you then?" "You don't know your own brother?" "I don't have a brother!" "Yes, you do, Yorda. And I'm not very happy with you." "I don't have a brother, I told you! And why aren't you happy with me?" "Because you get to be Queen, Yorda. You are the oldest." "Why is that my fault?" "Because you should have never been born." "Why?" There was a cruel, quiet laughter. Malice filled the air that the young Yorda breathed, and she was frightened. "You are not my brother!" "Yes I am, Yorda. You know it inside you. Do not lie to yourself." There was a pause. "Or to me." "Garre poyanobis doiyana!" Another laugh. "Are you trying to curse me, you little witch? You will rue the day you tried to cross me. One year, Yorda. One year made you come first instead of me. You will pay. I am the true ruler." "Do you want to be in the cage?" "Count yourself lucky, little Princess. Away from all those nasty little horned boys and girls." "What?" "You don't know what Mummy does instead of run these islands?" "No." "Then I will show you, Yorda. I will show you tonight." "Tonight? Why not now?" "Yorda." "Why not now?" "Yorda." "WHY NOT NOW!!?!"
"Yorda! Yorda stop screaming! You're alright, I'm here, I'm here." Yorda woke up, panting, violet eyes wide open and terrified at what she had just seen. The memory she had been searching for had been uncovered, and there was no going back. She was remembering. "Are you alright, Yorda?" Ico asked her, concerned. She looked up at him. "Keoden" she whispered.
Author's note : Please remember to review!!!!!!!! I need support, man, support my cause, cos Yorda rox the world, 'tis true! In the last chapter, Small Things, Yorda sang "You were there," which was the song at the end of the game during the credits. This is not my song, though it is absolutely gorgeous and I sing it wherever I go. You can tell I've completed the game 6 times can't you? I keep setting myself time limits, and I keep getting all angry at the Queen and the Shadow Demons and I KICK THEIR ASS! I'm actually frighteningly good at it.. Anyhoo! On with the story.
Chapter 4 - Destiny -
Another long night. This had been the third consecutive day Yorda had dreamt about her mother. Yet she hadn't mentioned anything to Ico, and had no intentions of doing so. But she knew that if they continued he would figure out what was wrong eventually, and she would have to tell him. She certainly couldn't lie to him, her boy, her rescuer, her Ico. He was still asleep after countless nights of fear. She watched him quietly, trying to forget her nightmare. But it was hopeless, and the dream lingered in her mind vividly, waiting for her to fall asleep again so it could engulf her without resistance.
"Yorda."
"Mummy?"
"Yorda, why do you insist on shaking the cage?"
"I want out, Mummy."
"No, Yorda. I told you."
"Just for a little while."
"No. Now stop struggling. You will get out."
"When?"
"When it is time for you to fulfill your destiny."
There was a pause. Then the nine-year-old Yorda had spoken again;
"Is that long?"
"I don't know."
Her head was full of bad memories. They entered her head every time she closed her eyes, only the sight of Ico was a relief from her misery. Not being able to stand being alone any longer, she shook her companion's shoulder gently. "Ico, Ico, Farras nara garee!" she whispered in his ear desperately. He stirred, and groaned irritably. "Yorda? Yorda, what is it? What's going on, it's still dark!" he told her, slightly annoyed at being woken so early. He had had a good, long sleep, but it had been interrupted by his sole purpose in the world at that moment. "And what does that mean?" "It means "please wake up". The sun will rise soon! Please, Ico, can we leave?" she pleaded, still shaking his shoulder, a look of terror in her eyes. He recognized it. It was the same when she had seen her mother when she and Ico had first met. The Queen had towered above Yorda, and she had looked away from Ico, ashamed that she had him trapped, she was sure that her mother was going to take her, and destroy her new friend. But she had spared him. Why, though? Why had she spared his life?
"What, now?" Ico said sleepily, picking himself up and zooming Yorda back into reality. "Please, Ico. Please. I beg you," she moved her hand from his shoulder and clasped his left hand desperately. He felt it. Her hand was shaking. "Why?" he asked, not immediately jumping to her needs. She seemed reluctant to tell him, "Yorda, what's wrong?" "My mother." she started, and faltered. Ico wasn't going to let her escape him. "What, Yorda. It's alright, she's. she's gone. You don't have to worry about her anymore." He told her gently. She looked up at him, frightened out of her wits. "My dreams. she's been getting me in my dreams, Ico. She can't get me while I'm awake but she can while I sleep." "But she's dead, Yorda. She can't get you at all." "Don't understand. You don't understand." She was shivering now. He cocked his eyebrow, concerned. "Tell me, then. I'll understand if you tell me, Yorda." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. going to get me."
Very concerned, Ico pulled his hand away, and pulled himself and her into a sitting position. "Yorda. Yorda, listen to me! Nothing is going to happen to you while I'm here, I managed it before, she's gone, Yorda, and her demons, all gone. Not coming back," he forced her eyes into his, and talked firmly but kindly, and her fear-filled eyes calmed a little. "Not coming back. Not coming back. Not in body, no, Ico, but in mind. She'll be there until I do something." she replied, sounding quite crazy. Ico was persistent. "Look, Yorda. Do what. No, don't look away! WHAT?" he yelled, and he saw Yorda flinch. His child-like temper had frightened his only friend. The only one he loved. She stood, terrified. He tried to pull her back down, but she forced herself out of his grip, and ran along the shore.
He saw her stumble. He saw her fall.
"YORDA!" he cried, and sprinted towards her body, which was lying front down in the sand. Her luminous clothing shimmered elegantly in the dawn, which had sprung upon them. He bent down on ne knee. "Are you okay?" he asked her, as softly as he could. "Allowi Yass." she whispered, staring up into his eyes, propping herself up. "Yorda, what does that mean? I'm so sorry, Yorda! Please. Yorda, speak to me! Please, Yorda!" Ico pleaded, another forbidden tear running down his Asian face. She had stood up now, and he was still on the ground.
She began to run away from him, saw him looking at the sand. She was about a hundred yards from him, she had run a long way. She looked at him, crying helplessly on the beach. Pity and regret flooded her, and she began to walk slowly towards him again. She knelt down in front of him, and tipped his chin up with her index finger. "Yorda," he choked, "Yorda, please. don't go." She smiled into his eyes, and wiped the tear away. "Allowi Yass means goodbye," she told him, and he sobbed, "And I tried to leave you, didn't want to bring you into what I must do. Now I understand we must do things together, Ico. You and I, it is our destiny to be together. We will go wherever we must go, and I will follow you." He wiped away his tears gathering in his eyes, and smiled at her. "How do you say thank you?" he asked her in a whisper. "Sarro Mari," she replied, "I said it when I had to let you go on the bridge back in the castle." "Well, Sarro Mari, Yorda. And I will follow wherever you go. What must I do to help you, and I will." "It may involve a stick," she warned him. He grinned wryly. "Let it be," he said. She laughed happily, no longer frightened. "Let it be," she repeated.
* * * * * *
After an hour, the fact that Ico had nearly lost Yorda again was forgotten. It had not happened. Yorda and Ico were one, and that was the way it was to be. The Queen was gone, and Princess Yorda's concealed bud could now flourish. Or so Ico thought. The fact Yorda had turned back did not abolish the fact she was still having nightmares. She saw the Shadow Demons more frequently now, in the nights that came. As she gained her strength, they became more vivid. The irony was overwhelming. She decided it was time to tell Ico.
"Ico," she whispered to him, after they had finished their meal consisting of fish and various fruits, and he looked at her, as if expecting a light comment on how nicely he had prepared the bananas. "Yes, Yorda?" he asked her. "Well.you know I told you I was having dreams, a few days ago, when I." she faltered, and looked away, embarrassed. "It's all right Yorda. I remember. What about them?" Ico said cheerily, as if whatever she said did not matter. She was slightly irritated by this, but then remembered he was only a child. "Well..it's just.they haven't stopped." she continued, and he looked up, now wondering if it was worth worrying about or just some after-effects of losing her mother and home so quickly. "What are they about?" he asked her. "When I was younger, in the.in the cage, where my mother put me as a child. They used to lower the cage to where you did, and they would fly up to it and give me food and water. They would tease me and would scream at me, hiss in my own language I was going to die very soon. I thought at one point they were only playing.a child should never." Yorda bowed her head again, the memories causing her slender throat to crack, her soft, sweet voice becoming hoarse with grief.
Ico reached out a hand and took her shoulder gently. He shook it with his arm slightly, and she looked up. "Tell me," he told her, very quietly. It soothed her soul, his volume, his gentleness. His childlike concern was enough to strengthen her for what had to be said, "It will help." Yorda nodded, and cleared her throat, casting away the tears, revealing a defiant strength within her gentle and kind yet corrupted spirit. "She keeps telling me not to defy her," she told him earnestly, "She tells me that she will let me down when I am ready, I tell her I am cold. She tells me to be quiet. Then she is nice to me, like a mother should be to her young daughter. She is cruel, all I do is cry, then I see the spirits again, taunting me, prodding at me, telling me my mother will kill me. I don't want to believe it." "It happened, Yorda," Ico told her, still in his calm voice, soothing her, keeping the atmosphere peaceful and safe. "It's all over, now. You will forget in time, the nightmares will go away, you'll see." "It's different, Ico," she whispered, "Different, it's so.real." "Nightmares are real," he said, "It's things we fear playing in our minds over and over. Don't let her frighten you, Yorda. Don't let her win." He smiled at her, taking his hand off of her shoulder, winked, and slowly stood up and walked away behind a corner, no doubt looking for wood for the fire.
"Countless visions they haunt me in my sleep You were there Though forgotten all promises we keep," Yorda sang, contrasting views between the past shadows that haunted her and the times she was having with Ico. Why didn't she rest, feeling safe and secure? Yorda sat, staring at the smouldering ashes of the fire, the carcasses of the fish lay beside the wood, forgotten by the Princess. There was something missing in all of this, something that didn't quite fit in everything that was supposed to be. She would have to discover what it was, and why it was affecting her so badly. She wouldn't have to be alone, though. She had Ico. He would keep her safe.
Ico had been away for about an hour, and Yorda was beginning to get quite bored. She sat, rocking her knees, watching the sand seep through the gaps between her toes. Once, she rocked too far backwards, and landed on her back. She spread herself out like a sand angel, making marks in the sand for wings. She smiled to herself, and stared at the sun for a couple of seconds until it hurt her eyes, and beautiful coloured spots flashed across her vision. Now sleepy, she let herself be engulfed in the sand and the sunlight, and allowed herself to sleep.
"Yorda." "Mummy?" "Yorda." "Mummy? Is that you?" "No." "Who are you then?" "You don't know your own brother?" "I don't have a brother!" "Yes, you do, Yorda. And I'm not very happy with you." "I don't have a brother, I told you! And why aren't you happy with me?" "Because you get to be Queen, Yorda. You are the oldest." "Why is that my fault?" "Because you should have never been born." "Why?" There was a cruel, quiet laughter. Malice filled the air that the young Yorda breathed, and she was frightened. "You are not my brother!" "Yes I am, Yorda. You know it inside you. Do not lie to yourself." There was a pause. "Or to me." "Garre poyanobis doiyana!" Another laugh. "Are you trying to curse me, you little witch? You will rue the day you tried to cross me. One year, Yorda. One year made you come first instead of me. You will pay. I am the true ruler." "Do you want to be in the cage?" "Count yourself lucky, little Princess. Away from all those nasty little horned boys and girls." "What?" "You don't know what Mummy does instead of run these islands?" "No." "Then I will show you, Yorda. I will show you tonight." "Tonight? Why not now?" "Yorda." "Why not now?" "Yorda." "WHY NOT NOW!!?!"
"Yorda! Yorda stop screaming! You're alright, I'm here, I'm here." Yorda woke up, panting, violet eyes wide open and terrified at what she had just seen. The memory she had been searching for had been uncovered, and there was no going back. She was remembering. "Are you alright, Yorda?" Ico asked her, concerned. She looked up at him. "Keoden" she whispered.