Yep, I liked writing the first chapter to this, so I'm gonna continue with the next one. None of the chapters have anything to do with each other. They just simply are put up for amusement and to show the world how terribly pathetic romance stories are. Yes, now that you have been revealed the truths of life, you must be enlightened by reading this mind numbing fic.

Seto Kaiba was walking about one day, apprarently having all the time in the world on his hands even though he owned a prestigious company and such, but because this is about mushy feelings, we don't have to make everything logical. It was around this time he saw off in the distance the love of his life, Yami Yugi. He then decided to go talk to his crush.

"Hi,"he said stupidly, not knowing what else to say. For some reason, being the psycic bastard Yami apparently is, he realized Kaiba's feeling automatically.

"Seto, I love you too! I thought this whole time you hated me."

"Well, you see, I did, but then thought 'crap I'm horny' so I moseyed on over here to go start a conversation with you, and, if the author has her way (most lemon writers are girls, you know), we'll be in the sack before we've gone through a whole page."

"Ah yes. Don't you just love how these things are rushed so quickly?"

"Yep. So... let's go to my house for pizza and sex."

"Sounds good to me!"

Kaiba and Yami Yugi went to the large Kaiba estate to go do explicit things behind closed doors, which everybody in the fic will somehow know about within the next scene. Speaking of which, why don't we head on over to the next scene now.

Bakura and Malik were sitting over at Bakura's apartment, who seemed to have the same fix as Jounouchi from chapter one. They, at the moment, were talking about their awful, no good boyfriends.

"Yeah, and right now, My boyfriend Yami and your boyfriend Seto are sleeping together! I feel to used!" Bakura whined, feeling awful about the relationship that was occurring behind his back, which he really shouldn't logically know about, but somehow just did.

"I know! And know what's worse? I was talking to Yugi the other day, and know what I found out? He's... straight!"

"No way!! Out of all people, Yugi?"

"Exactly! Next thing you know, he'll be involved in straight movements and in the next ten years, men will start going out with women and all hell with break lose!"

"You know, all this is really disheartening," Bakura said mournfully. "I've got it! Let's sleep together! That way we'll make each other feel better, get our boyfriends jealous, and make many readers hot and heavy at the same time!"

"That's a great idea! Geez, you're such a genius!"

"Well, I do try."

Yeah... they went and did that. Even though this is off the topic, but haven't you ever realized that when one couple is gay in a fanfic, every other guy in the story becomes gay, too? Maybe it's just me... Anywho, morning arrived, and Kaiba and Yami Yugi were laying there in bed still. Of course they hadn't bothered getting up, not needing to eat, pee, and that Kaiba's company worked for itself.

"Hey, Seto, are we going out now?" Yami Yugi asked, " Because I know we only just hit the sack together, but that doesn't always mean we're in a relationship, even though it's inevitable that we're going to end up together at the end of this, but I need to ask to put the reader in suspense."

"Oh yeah... can never forget that part. Okay... ummm... to make things really angsty, no, we are not a couple. I just felt like getting laid, even though it was clearly stated in the first paragraph in the story that you are the love of my life... the author was lying. I'm sorry."

"Oh no big deal. I'll get along just fine and call up somebody to comfort and boink me."

"No, no, no, no. You're supposed to be all upset, start crying and have a hissy fit, followed by running out of the room dramatically. THEN you call the pity party."

"Thanks for clearing that up. You're so helpful!" Yami then began to get into the mood. "Right... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU USED ME!!! I HATE YOU AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!" Yami cried as he ran out of the room. Magically, his clothes reappeared on his body, hence not needing to put them back on before he ran off. He then went to his apartment, making him just like Bakura and Jounouchi (geez, all of these illegal minors living on their own. tsk tsk), and then called up his boyfriend to come make him feel better.

"Hey Malik... could you come over here. Something awful happened! I cheated on you, I didn't mean to, even though I wasn't forced, on drugs, under the influence, or anything like that, but it still wasn't my choice."

"Umm... Yami? We aren't going out," Malik explained, "You're with Bakura... remember?"

"Oh... er yeah... I knew that... I guess the author forgot which one she put me with, you two looking so alike and all."

"Whatever. I'll put Bakura on the phone," Malik gives the phone to Bakura.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bakura... could you come over here-" Yami then repeated the exact same words to Bakura.

"Oh I already knew about that!"

"How? There wasn't the slightest detection of me and Seto liking each other, and we only decided to get better acquainted today."

"It's funny how those things work," Bakura laughed, "You see, I just kind of knew that would happen, so me and Malik decided to hook up! Isn't that great?"

"... Bakura... you're supposed to get mad and hang up the phone angrily," Yami said irritably, "Then, you have one of two options. You either will (a) get into a steamy sex scene with Malik to release your tension, or (b) come over here and rape me to show me how pissed you are. Now make up your mind, and go with the story layout."

"Oh screw the story layout! I wanna stay here and play checkers!"

"WHAT?!" Yami screamed, "YOU DON'T PLAY CHECKERS IN AN ANGST STORY!! IT'S JUST NOT DONE!!!"

"I don't care! I'm not gonna let some horny writer dictate my every move! I'm a cartoon character, dammit! I sure as hell haven't seen Mickey Mouse have an orgy with Donald and Goofy, so you can just kiss my albino ass!" Bakura then angrily hung up the phone, followed by getting into a steamy sex scene with Malik, not realizing he had just failed to beat the system.

Yami was now angry, knowing he was boyfriendless and now had lost all meaning to life, even though it has been proven that boyfriends usually tend to weigh you down and keep you from accomplishing your goals in life, such as traveling, going out with your friends on weekends, getting that paper done, studying for your final exams, pursuing a job that could keep you financially stable, you know... stuff like that, which obviously doesn't matter.

Just then, there was a knocking at the door. Yami Yugi answered to find none other than the man who's company has an artificial intelligence, Seto Kaiba.

"Yami, I just want to say contradicting all I've said before, that I'm madly in love with you, and want to get it on with you, thus making this story end happily."

"Oh Seto!" Yami then fell into Kaiba's arms and was carried off into the bedroom where they did more dirty stuff, which tells the reader that they're gonne stay together for the rest of their miserable naive lives.

THE END