-Yorda-
By Julie Danskin (Invader Jed)

Chapter 18 - The Choices -

Author's note: Sorry it's been so long, but it's getting hard to write as it gets further on, plus I've been working quite hard on my Zim story. Sorreeee! This is the . . . um . . . third last chapter! Well the last one is going to be an epilogue but I'm not going to give anything away! MWAHA!

Anyway, read.

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He had slept well in Biocha's house, his wife Amissi was very kind and generous, she had given him smart clothes that he could wear at the wedding, but he had shaken his head. He wanted to make Keoden as angry or embarrassed as possible, he wanted to stand out. He didn't really care what happened to him now, Siania was safe, wasn't she?

He at least smartened up his dirty hair, washing it roughly with a jar of water thrown over his head. Again, it wasn't like he cared, but his hair was really bad. Even his dusty red tunic and grey trousers seemed acceptable compared to what that mass of hair looked like. When it was wet and sticking to his head, he could just slightly see the stumps where his horns had been. Those days were so far away.

But he had loved Yorda even then, hadn't he?

"And know this, Yorda. I love you. I always have and I always will. Never, ever, let anyone tell you otherwise."

"You - you love me? After all I was so blind-"

"Could you ever doubt it?"

Jesus Christ, he loved her. He loved her like he loved the stars that shone down, and only because each spark of gas so many miles away reminded him of Yorda. Because she was miles away, wasn't she? Even if she was only in the castle he could see from the washroom window.

And she had never left him. Keoden had taken her, and she had lied for him. How could she lie for the man that was her brother yet was planning on killing her that very night? He supposed that would be when they would strike.

'Why for me, Yorda? Why for me? You know I will never be able to live with myself knowing that you died to save me and Sai.' He thought miserably, and walked through with Biocha, who was looking as smart as the funny-looking man could. He nodded to Ico, respecting his choice of clothing with hidden surprise yet obvious amusement, and they set off towards the castle.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Princess," a maid called, interrupting Yorda's daydreams at the window, "Princess, we're ready for you now. The guests are gathering outside."

Yorda nodded.

"Another few minutes and I'll be down," she promised, still looking out of the window, "Yes, come and get me in a few minutes."

The maid left, probably thinking of Yorda as mad. They all thought that, her maids. She had sat wordlessly while they prepared her for the wedding, occasionally muttering about a peasant boy. They all knew the scandal, they had all read her diary. She didn't care anymore, because she knew she was going to die.

Alone again, Yorda drifted from the window unconsciously and over to her great oak wardrobe she never allowed anyone to open. She barely ever opened it herself. She flung it open, expecting moths to fly out, but there was only a few old dresses. Yorda scrambled for the preciousness underneath the dresses, and right enough was a package wrapped in fine paper that made a pleasant crinkling sound when she disturbed it.

She opened the package, something she hadn't done in four years. Inside was the garment Ico had given her to keep her warm. It still smelt of him, he hadn't changed much after all. Sure he had grown and become more mature and emotional, but he was still the boy that had rescued her from the castle. From her mother, who had passed on her evilness to someone she had once been sure she could trust.

How wrong everything had gone.

She caressed the strange pattern embroidered on the strange piece of material, and lifted up her wedding dress to tie it around her leg for good luck. Just so she had something of him when she made her vows to someone she didn't love. Someone who was plotting to kill her with her own brother, the 'honourable' Prince Keoden.

He had once been her Keo. He had once loved her.

She closed the wardrobe and walked over to the window again, awaiting her death call.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The wedding was taking part in the garden, then guests not invited to the reception party afterwards would leave after being wished farewell at the gates if they lived outside Ara P'Way, which would happen to Ico. It would be the last time he saw Yorda.

He sat in a row on the right hand side, near the end of it so Biocha was the only one separating him from the aisle. They were two rows from the front, he would see Yorda well from here, and if he wanted, would have a good opportunity to throw a knife into Giannias' cowardly back.

As the traitor and his best man, Keoden, walked up the aisle, Ico tensed. Biocha placed a reassuring large hand on his shoulder. Keoden sat in the front row and turned round to speak to someone behind him, and caught Ico's eye. Ico narrowed his, but the prince's smiled victoriously, telling him that Keoden had won.

Keoden turned around again, and Giannias stood at the altar where the minister stood looking solemn. Maybe he thought it was a terrible idea, and he would stop it. Maybe Yorda was safe after all, but they were childish fantasies. He was losing control, and it was all because of Yorda.

Coincidentally, a band of harps, flutes and percussion broke out from the side of the layout, and Yorda began processing up the aisle. Ico bowed his head like everyone in the crowd, but felt his heart flutter when she walked past him and tilted his eyes upwards.

She looked breath-taking, her white dress unlaced but delicate and far from plain. It covered her feet but there was no train, two little girls following after her throwing flowers nonetheless.

When she turned to face Giannias at her destination, he saw she had flowers in her hair that brightened up her sad, pale face. She was beautiful, he realised.

And he had lost her.

The vows were a blur to him, he paid no attention, he only looked at Yorda. He was sure Keoden looked round to check he wasn't, but he couldn't help it, Ico loved her, and she had said she loved him. And Yorda didn't lie.

Well, much.

Once, during the service, Ico could have sworn he saw Yorda's eyes flick to his for a brief second, her violet eyes filled with longing and sorrow. He wanted to tear them out and give her happy, smiling, loving ones.

When Giannias kissed her at the end, Ico's heart thudded with anger and jealousy. It was driving him mad, he wanted to run over and grab her from him and show him how she should be kissed. He wanted to lift her up and run away with her, save her from the unfairness she suffered.

Yorda . . .

* * * * * *

After he had collected Riia, he bid farewell to Biocha and his wife and family, giving him a picture Siania had made for him. He nodded and embraced Ico before telling him to go and give her a big kiss from him.

At the gate, Yorda stood arm in arm with Giannias with Keoden at the side. He saw Yorda slip away after saying something to her husband, God how much that word hurt when it should belong to him. He urged Riia after her, glad he was unnoticed.

She stood against the wall with her arms buried into her face. Ico dismounted silently and led Riia out of sight, left her tied to a hook on the wall, and walked over to Yorda. She didn't notice him until she smelled his breath and looked up.

"Ico!" she cried in surprise, then whispered, "You shouldn't be here! Just - just leave through the gates!"

Ico grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at him.

"Yorda, do you know how hard this is for me?" he hissed, "Leaving you? I love you, Yorda. I don't know how you expect me to-"

She cut him off with a kiss and he didn't try to interrupt it. He didn't think about why she hadn't spoken to him properly when he left with Siania, but he didn't care because he was with her now. He ran a hand down her back and she pulled at the skin on his neck desperately, as if trying to get inside his body, searching for an opening.

They pulled apart and stared at each other for a long time until Yorda's eyes filled with tears and Ico couldn't bear to look at her.

"Come with me, Yorda," Ico gasped, "We can escape I know it!"

Yorda shook her head.

"No," she murmured, "Ico, I have to cling on to whatever dignity I have left."

"Your dignity means more than your life does? More than I do?"

"No! Ico, I - I love you more than anything, you hear me? But we won't escape, and Keoden will kill Sai and her family. He's controlling the Spirits too, you know-"

"I know. I had an encounter with them on my way here. I only just made it out."

Yorda bit her lip. She hadn't told him Keoden was planning on killing Siania and Ico anyway, but it might have just been a threat. She didn't want Ico to stay and get killed by Keoden trying to fight for her.

Ico tried to move towards her, but Yorda pulled away.

"Go, Ico," she whispered, "Just go. Enjoy your life. Marry a nice, pretty girl with a good head and have lots of lovely children and forget all about me and our silly infatuation."

Ico scowled.

"It's so much more than that," he told her gruffly, defensively. Yorda had struck a nerve and didn't mean a word of it, but it was to make him go. It was to save him, and it killed her.

"Not to me," she said, and she could almost hear his heart crush. Ico turned to his horse and mounted her, riding away from the alley and out of a side door in the gate. He would have to ride fast at this time of day to avoid the Spirits.

Yorda blinked away spiteful tears and turned herself to join her own celebration that would tonight result in her death.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Ico might have been riding for maybe an hour, his heart wrenching with every gallop Riia took. The Spirits were hot on his trail, he couldn't afford to slow down. But he couldn't bear to go any faster, it killed him.

How could one person mean so much to him?

She scared him, her power was overwhelming, and she had seen it as an infatuation, a crazy, thoughtless, passionate obsession that never would have gone past what they had now. But how could it? They had been as much in love as it was possible to be. Yorda was lying about not really loving him.

How could he have been so stupid as to miss her trick?

'Stupid Ico, stupid, stupid peasant boy. No wonder Keoden won,' his mind teased him, 'No wonder Yorda's going to die, it's all because you were too stupid to see that you could stop it but you're not going to. You're going to do as she said, marry a pretty girl and have kids. But that's not what you want, is it Ico? You want Yorda, and you let her go. Stupid, stupid Ico.'

"NO!" Ico yelled randomly, and Riia twitched. Ico petted her into steady motion again, and reared her, so Spirits flew past his head. He took out his sword and swung it around in a steady circle, beating at the evil demons flying at him continuously until every one around him was fading into the ground, forgotten already.

He knew more would be on their way, so he sheathed his sword, and without another thought, turned back.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Yorda walked up the stairs after the party wearily, escorted by Giannias, Biocha and Keoden. They walked into Yorda's living area, a large circular room that she often came in to daydream. They waved Biocha away, but when he made no move, Keoden took his arm and led him to the door.

"You're going to kill her, aren't ye?" he demanded, snatching his arm from his master, "Not on my watch you don't. Young Yorda never did hurt a soul, she don't deserve to be slain by her own brother and his cowardly sidekick."

Giannias snarled, and before Yorda or Keoden could stop him, he had taken his dagger and thrust it into Biocha's side. His eyes filled with shock and pain and he slumped to the ground.

'Don't worry, Yorda,' the young girl thought to herself, 'He'll be okay, it's just a flesh wound, he'll be okay.'

That was when Keoden decided to finish the job, and stabbed one of her only loyal friends deep into his chest.

She gasped aloud, and Keoden and Giannias walked away, disinterested.

She tried not to cry, but ran over to him with tears invading her face.

"Biocha!" she cried, "Are you alright?"

"Aye, fine lass," he assured her, coughing slightly, "Just a little bit of blood, that's all. Nothing to worry your pretty head about."

Yorda nodded, biting her lip.

"Oh Biocha, don't die," she pleaded, "Think of your family."

Biocha nodded and swallowed.

"They know I love 'em," was all he said, and his head fell limp, his heart stopped.

Yorda moved her bloodied hands to her mouth in horror. She closed Biocha's eyes gently and felt a firm arm hold her shoulder, lifting her up.

"He was just a servant," Keoden said, who was holding her arm. He led her to an armed chair in the corner of the room and closed the curtains, still holding onto her arm. If Yorda had been scared before, it was nothing that she felt now.

Keoden pushed her into the chair and forced his face up close to hers.

"Such a shame you'll never know what married life is like properly," he said softly, stroking her hair, still full of the flowers.

Tears flowed down Yorda's cheeks freely, she was far from caring anymore. She was going to die, this was it. All the worrying she had done and now it was finally here. Keoden waggled the dagger he had used to kill Biocha in front of her face, the blood dripping nastily off of its tip. She shook her head.

"You'll have a far worse death than your servant friend, your Majesty," he promised. Yorda swallowed and tried not to look terrified.

"You're not as strong inside as you make out to be, Keo," she taunted, "You're shaking."

Keoden frowned and laid the tip of the knife against her voice box. It pricked, and she felt blood trickle down her neck and onto the blade, mingling with Biocha's blood.

"It's a shame it came to this, Yorda." Giannias said behind him, "It could have been a quick and easy death if it wasn't for your little fun with your peasant boy."

Yorda frowned. If it was a death she had earned from Ico then it was a death she would think about him through every second, through every feeling of pain and every knowing the further the knife went, the more her death loomed, so the more Ico was with her.

"I love Ico," she said, "And you'll never be able to stop that. Not if you kill me or him or all the people he knows. We'll meet up again in a place that you won't be welcome."

"Enough!" Keoden snapped, "Time to die, my Queen. How does it feel to know you're dying by the hand of your brother? You know I've been planning this since the day I took you from the cave."

Yorda smiled grimly and felt the blade tighten against her neck. He was going to push it through slowly, wasn't he?

She spat in his face defiantly, making him stagger back, the dagger coming away from her flesh. Rage filled his face and he shoved his contorted face into hers.

"Long live the Queen," he snarled, and repositioned the blade. Yorda closed her eyes and thought of Ico.

'I'll always be with you,' she told him mentally.

The door at the far side of the room flung open and Ico emerged, sword in hand and anger on his face.

"Ico . . . " she murmured.

After that, a flood of emotions flooded Yorda and she knew only darkness.

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A/N : What did you think? Next chapter is IT!!!! Big Ico vs. Keoden showdown! What you've all been waiting for . . . well, maybe. No? Oh well! I wrote this for me! MEEEE!

Sorry.

Enjoy next chapter!

Review.