MEANWHILE!!!
Hatori, Hiro, Ritsu, Rin, Kagura and Kisa were all sitting on a round table at the crazy karaoke place that they are STILL at. Hatori was smoking like there was no tomorrow and making the room all smelly and smokey.
"Could you stop smoking in this small enclosed area?" asked Rin.
"Let's go eat or something." Said Hatori, standing up.
Everyone else agreed since they were really just sitting there staring at each other anyway. They all followed Hatori to the dining room since he's the big kid of the group right now. Just as they walked in, they saw the other half of their crew walking out of the dining room.
"GREETINGS HA-SAN!!!" yelled Ayame at the top of his lungs. "WE WERE THINKING OF LOOKING FOR YOU BUT WE HAD ASSUMED YOU HAD ALREADY EATEN SO WE ATE WITHOUT YOU!!!"
"Sorry!" said Shigure.
"That's fine." Said Hatori since he didn't really care as much as Ayame thought he did.
So they parted ways and all the people who hadn't eaten went inside the dining room so THEY could stuff THEIR faces! Now, since we told you what the OTHER group was eating, we…WON'T tell you what this group is eating!!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!
Just assume they got something to eat that would fit their personality so that means that Hiro DIDN'T get lamb chops and Kagura DIDN'T get sausages and so on and so forth.
So THEY sat down at the table now! Kisa sat down first and Hiro sat down next to Kisa and Kagura sat on the OTHER side of Kisa and Rin sat next to Hiro and Ritsu sat next to Rin and then Hatori sat on the other side of the table where he could be anti-social since he already felt left out of the current group he was being associated with.
"I wish Tohru could eat lunch with us!" said Kisa.
MEANWHILE!!!
Ayame, Shigure and The Chicken separated from the younger people. Don't ask how they managed to separate Kureno from Akito, they JUST DID. So this left Kyo, Tohru, Yuki, Momiji, Akito and Haru. They wandered around for a little while until they finally came across a room that had a bunch of board games in it. They picked out Trivial Pursuit!!
"I want Tohru on my team." Said Yuki immediately.
"I think we can pick teams!" said Tohru. "Yuki and Kyo can be captains!! Kyo, you should pick first because your name comes first in the alphabet."
"Fine." Said Kyo. "I pick Tohru. Not for any reason…just so YOU can't have her on your team, Yuki!"
"Tohru!" said Yuki.
"Yes, Yuki?" asked Tohru.
"Did you hear that?"
"Yes…" said Tohru slowly. "But whatever his reasoning is…I've never been picked first before! So anyway, it's your turn, Yuki!"
So, after a quick scan of the people that were leftover, Yuki finally picked Haru.
"Yuki, we are going to dominate." Said Haru, grabbing onto Yuki's miniature tie.
"Obviously!" said Yuki, pushing Haru away from his tie. "They've got the stupid cat on their team!"
"Um…fine…we pick…uh…Momiji." Said Kyo finally since even though Momiji is a painful choice, he's far less painful than Akito.
"HURRAY!!!" cheered Momiji.
So in the end, there were two teams. The Extremely Dysfunctional Team of Akito, Yuki and Haru and The Slightly Dimwitted Team of Kyo, Tohru and Momiji. GEE WHIZ!! THIS IS GOING TO BE SOME MATCH!!!
"All right, since you got to pick first, we get to go first." Said Yuki.
"No!" Said Kyo. "It says here in the instruction manual that the youngest player gets to go first! That's Momiji!"
"No, I'm younger." Said Haru. You can't disagree, can you Reader? No. You can't.
Unless…you CAN…
But if you can and there is some sort of proof out there that Haru is older than Momiji, then just pretend as though it doesn't really exist because it's much more fun this way since Haru is a lot older than he looks and Momiji is a lot younger than he looks.
Um…that sentence was for all of you who just walked in and don't know anything about Fruits Basket.
"Let's just play without the pieces and simply ask each other the questions." Said Akito. Everyone immediately turned into zombie slaves and agreed to anything Akito said.
"All right, Haru, here's your question!" said Tohru, picking up one of the cards. "What animal is Mr. Mistoffolees?"
Haru sat there for a minute. "Wait…you're serious?" he said.
"Yeah!" said Tohru excitedly. "Do you need a hint?"
"No!" yelled Kyo. "No hints!!"
"I'll give you a hint!" said Momiji. "Finish the sentence: Kyo is a…"
"Be quiet!!" yelled Kyo.
"Let's see…" said Haru, scratching his chin. "Mr. Mistoffolees… hm… well, can I have a reference to where Mr. Mistoffolees is from?"
"That would completely give it away!" yelled Kyo.
"It's from a play that's called the same thing that he is!" said Momiji.
"The answer's in here somewhere." Sighed Haru, tapping himself on the head.
"Yuki's favorite thing to say: Stupid…what?" said Momiji.
"STOP GIVING HINTS!!!" yelled Kyo.
"It says: Meow." Yuki whispered. "It starts with a C and ends with 'at'."
"Oh." Said Haru, sitting up. "Mr. Mistoffolees is a cat. From the play 'Cats'. Lovely play. Saw it just last year."
"Congratulations, Haru!" said Tohru, clapping her hands. "You get one hundred points!!"
"You practically gave him the answer to that one!" Kyo yelled. "We should get half those points!"
"Stupid cat." Said Yuki, picking up a card. "Okay, Momiji. This is your question. Spell: 'Mr. Mistoffolees'."
"WHAT?!" demanded Momiji. "That's not fair!! That's impossible!! You have to give me a hint!"
"No I don't." said Yuki. "You guys CHOSE to give us hints."
"They DO have to give me a hint!" said Momiji in his dub voice. "Don't they, Tohru? Don't they have to give me a hint?"
"Well…if they don't WANT to, we certainly can't force them to!" said Tohru. "Even though it really would be nice of Yuki to give you a little help considering the difficulty of the question."
"YEAH Yuki." Said Kyo, slamming his fist down on the table.
Now Yuki was confused. "Erm…it starts with an M." said Yuki.
"No, no, my precious rat." Said Akito as he leaned on top of Yuki and started fondling him. "Don't give them a single hint."
"Haru, you'll give us a hint won't you?!" Momiji requested as his horrible horrible dub voice actor perished but no one was saddened, ESPECIALLY Momiji who was overjoyed. Unfortunately, his horrible dub voice actor was quickly replaced with that stupid little girl from "Hook" but luckily enough, she died as well and then Momiji was given a gnarly voice actor that had experience and was at least a LITTLE awesome.
"Nope." Said Haru.
"Okay FINE!!" said Momiji. "Um…let's see…M-I-S-T-O-F-F-O-L-E-E-S!!"
"YAY!!!" cheered Tohru.
"That's five hundred points!" said Kyo, swiping the card out of Yuki's hand.
"Afraid not, stupid cat!" said Yuki, swiping the card back. "He forgot the 'Mr.' part! You get ZERO points!"
"WHAT?!" demanded the Dimwitted Team.
The Dysfunctional Team WOULD have laughed out loud at the Dimwitted Team but that was just way too out of character for all three of them so they all just sat there with smug looks on their faces.
MEANWHILE!!!
The Chicken, Ayame, Hatori and Shigure all went to the weight room that was on the cruise. They were all being very manly or at least ATTEMPTING to!! They were all wearing workout shorts and Jack shirts except for Hatori who is really conservative and he was wearing a body suit that had his name on the sleeve. YAY!!
So Ayame had one of those mini squeezy hand held things that look like pliers and all you do is squeeze them and I'm not exactly sure what their true purpose is but whatever it is, Ayame was doing that. Hatori was catching up on his best selling novel while lifting a small weight in the other hand. Shigure was trying his hardest to bench press but he didn't have any weights on the pole thingy or anything and as for the chicken, he was spotting Shigure.
"So why'd you decide to ditch the other group?" asked Ayame because he's not really doing anything.
Of course, Hatori was far too engrossed in his book to even acknowledge Ayame.
"Fine!" said Ayame as he got all offended. "I know when I'm not wanted! Shigure, you're supposed to lift the weights before you start grunting as if you're lifting something!!"
"Oh man…" said Shigure, sitting up. "Get me whatever you have." Ayame tossed Shigure little squeezy pliers and Shigure sat down next to Ayame. Then the chicken started bench-pressing and he must have had Akito on his mind or something because he was on FIRE!!
"Wow, Kureno!" said Ayame. "You're pretty good at that!"
"Naturally." Said Kureno, thinking back to how he had to do everything for Akito and built up stamina and muscles. But it's not like he minded doing things for Akito. He longed to do things for Akito.
"Then again…" said Shigure. "It's really not that impressive…that bar only weights about ten pounds at the most…"
"I was just getting warmed up!" said the chicken as he put on fifty-pound weights on each side of the pole and then started pumping.
"Incredible!" said Shigure. "I, as a mere novelist, have never EVER done ANY strenuous work in my entire life!"
"All the way!" said Ayame, slapping Shigure five.
"How much can you lift, Hatori?" Shigure asked, shaking Hatori to get his attention.
"I don't know…" said Hatori.
"Come on, you can't tell me that you've never TRIED!" said Shigure.
"I never have!" laughed Ayame but Shigure elbowed him in the stomach.
"Well…last time I checked it was…five hundred or so." Said Hatori, trying to get Shigure to leave him alone. "On an off-day."
"Don't be silly, Hatori!" said Shigure, slapping him on the back. "Come on, I'll spot you!!" Then he leapt up off his seat and booted the chicken off the bench-pressing thing.
Hatori just chose to ignore him, hoping that maybe he would just fizzle out and disappear. As an anti-social, critical, overworked, tense and depressed doctor, he hadn't been to the gym in quite a while and didn't want to face the fact that he just wasn't as in shape as he would like to be. But he came very close to cracking a smile when thinking about how he's better off not being as out of shape as Ayame and Shigure.
So, as Hatori had previously predicted, Shigure quickly got bored of just standing there waiting for him to finally come around and jump over to the bench-press. But…I guess that's not what Hatori predicted since Hatori predicted that Shigure would fizzle out and disappear.
"I didn't predict that, I just wished for it." Hatori corrected. "I know that it's impossible for that to happen and I would never predict something as outrageous as that."
"Why would you do that?!" whined Shigure.
MEANWHILE!!!
"This is going to be so much fun!" said Kagura as she pulled Kisa and Rin into the dance room that had been repaired due to the magical powers of the X-Men who were also on the cruise. There were a few other girls in the room waiting for something to happen but nothing had happened YET!! Kagura looked at Ritsu and Hiro who were just kind of standing there. "Um…you two can come if you want…"
"Me and Ritsu are on a date." Said Rin, grabbing Ritsu's arm.
"OH GOMENASAI!!!" screamed Ritsu for absolutely no reason.
"I'll just watch you, Kisa." Said Hiro.
"Thank you Hiro!" said Kisa with the biggest smile she could muster which wasn't very big at all.
Just then, a lady (who will be known as Binky) walked in.
"All right!" she said. "You're all here because you wanted to know what 'Teen Sensation' was, right?!"
"RIGHT!!!" cheered all the random people and Kagura.
"Well, mainly, I'm going to teach you a dance routine!" said Binky. "It's to the song 'It Happens Every Time' by 'Dream Street'!"
"HURRAH!!!" cheered all the random people and Kagura.
"But I must say before we start…" started Binky. "All people over the age of sixteen have to leave."
"What?!" demanded Kagura. "It says Teen Sensation! The ages seventeen, eighteen and nineteen are the most teenish ages of all the teen years!!"
Binky stared at Kagura for a second.
"Well, that means that Ritsu can't join us either and I don't want to stay if my date can't stay." Said Rin as she grabbed Ritsu and left.
"Well fine!" said Kagura, practically breaking into tears as she ran out of the room after Rin and Ritsu. Kisa and Hiro looked at each other and shrugged. Hiro started walking out the door but when he noticed that Kisa wasn't following him, he turned around.
"Aren't you coming, Kisa?" he asked.
"No, I'm going to stay." Said Kisa.
"But everyone else is leaving!" said Hiro. "Hatori told us to stay with them because we don't have any other supervision!"
"Hiro, is that really why you want to leave or do you just not like doing things that I like to do?" Kisa asked as her eyes started watering.
"That's not it at all Kisa!" stuttered Hiro, pulling a tissue out of his pocket for situation just like this one. "We can stay if you want!"
"Thank you, Hiro!" said Kisa, wiping her eyes with Hiro's tissue.
"Erm…" said Binky. "Let's get started!"
MEANWHILE!!!
"What are some talents of Mr. Mistoffolees?"
"He can creep through the tiniest cracks and walk on the narrowest rails!"
"What amazing feat did Mr. Mistoffolees complete not long ago?"
"That phenomenal cat produced seven kittens right out of a hat!"
"What does Mr. Mistoffolees look like?"
"He's black from his ears to the tip of his tail!"
"WHY ARE ALL THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT MR. MISTOFFOLEES?!" yelled Kyo randomly, grabbing the box and looking at the title to see that it said 'Cats The Musical Trivial Pursuit' as opposed to just 'Trivial Pursuit'. "I AM OFFENDED!! YOU PICKED THIS OUT DIDN'T YOU, DAMN RAT!!!"
"Why would I want to play a game all about cats, you stupid cat?" Yuki scoffed. "I bet you picked it out."
"I did." Said Haru. "I figured since I saw it last year then I would have an unfair advantage over the rest of you."
"Who could possibly think up all these questions about one play?" Tohru wondered, looking at the gigantic stack of questions.
Just then, some guy who had a Mr. Mistoffolees shirt on as well as fake cat ears walked by. "Oh my god!" said the stupid guy. He had a lisp and a million freckles and big geeky glasses. "I love this game. Can I use it?"
"Take it!" said Kyo angrily since the Cats Trivial Pursuit offended him so.
"RAPTURE!!!" said the dorky guy as he grabbed the game and ran off as fast as he could.
"You just wanted to start over because you were losing." Yuki said to Kyo, crossing his arms. "Which was really sad because we were playing Cats Trivial Pursuit."
"It wasn't REAL Cats!!" yelled Kyo. "It was the musical!! I don't expect you to be an expert on 'Willard' simply because it has rats in it!!"
"Wow!" said Tohru. "That's so cool!!"
"If there was a movie about cows, I would watch it so many times that if they had made a Trivial Pursuit game about that movie then I would be an expert on it and everyone would want me on their team." Said Haru.
"WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT COWS?!?!" screamed Kyo. He most likely popped man blood vessels.
"Kyo, have you taken your Ritalin today?" Yuki sighed.
"I DON'T NEED IT!!" yelled Kyo.
"I'll take that as a no." Said Yuki.
"AND I DON'T TAKE RITALIN YOU DAMN RAT!!!" yelled Kyo.
"You SHOULD." Said Yuki. "I KNOW Hatori prescribed it to you."
"Well you can just DIE for all I care." Said Kyo, crossing his arms and pouting.
"Taking medication is nothing to be ashamed about, Kyo!" said Tohru.
"I DON'T." said Kyo as he punched Tohru. But he didn't punch her very hard, it was one of those 'Playful-Kyo-Hitting-Tohru-Because-He-Feels-Like-It-And-She's-An-Easy-Target-Because-He-Can't-Take-It-Out-On-Yuki-And-She'll-Laugh-About-It' kind of taps.
"Hehehehe!!" giggled Tohru.
Then Yuki got insanely jealous and tapped Tohru like Kyo did.
Unfortunately, that's not something Yuki particularly did so it kind of freaked Tohru out but she didn't want to say that because that wouldn't be very nice of her.
"Uh…heh…heh…" said Tohru nervously.
"I WANNA GET SOME ICE CREAM!!!" yelled Momiji randomly since he hasn't said anything yet. "Tohru, come and get ice cream with me!"
"Okay Momiji!" said Tohru happily. "Does anyone else want some?"
"No thanks." Said Yuki, trying to act all princey.
"I'll come too." Said Kyo, seizing his opportunity to be alone with Tohru since Momiji doesn't count.
"Hey!" said Yuki. "If that stupid cat is going then I am too!"
"Sorry, Yuki, four's a crowd!" said Momiji.
"Yes, stay with us." Said Akito, grabbing Yuki's arm and sitting him down next to him.
"I'll come too." Said Haru, standing up. No one objected because they wanted Haru's sexy chest to be with them. Then the four of them frolicked off together.
MEANWHILE!!!
The old people were now swimming. The old people being Kureno, Ayame, Hatori and Shigure, of course. This swimming pool was made especially for older people who would just be doing laps all day long as if that was fun.
Ayame was sunbathing in his Speedo with his big metal tanning device and sunglasses. Shigure was chasing the chicken around in the pool splashing him and the chicken was trying to get away from Shigure. Well obviously. As for Hatori, he was swimming laps evenly and perfectly and not even straying an inch from his path.
"Wow!" said Shigure as he stopped splashing Kureno momentarily and went over to the edge of the pool to talk to Ayame. "Hatori looks so comfortable in his natural habitat!"
"I heard that." Said Hatori who immediately came over to Shigure. "I am not a seahorse."
"You should be proud of the fact that you're the only aquatic Jyunnishi animal!" said Shigure, patting Hatori on the back. "And Kureno's the only bird! Isn't that incredible?"
"I'm the only one without arms!!" said Ayame.
"I don't have arms." Said Hatori.
"Fine, get all technical." Said Ayame, getting offended.
"Well…you're the only reptile!" Shigure declared.
"Right!" said Ayame, giving Shigure the thumbs up.
"And how am I special?!" wondered Shigure. "I can't think of anything!"
"You're the only one who subconsciously will fetch things." Said Hatori.
"That's not true!" said Shigure.
Hatori picked up a pool ring and tossed it into the water. "Oh man, now I have to go and get that." Said Hatori.
"I'll get it." Said Shigure, swimming out and diving to get the ring but then resurfacing a second later. "HEY!! YOU TRICKED ME!!"
"That's how you're special." Said Hatori.
"That's not special, that's stupid!" whined Shigure. "I want something unique like being the only type of something!"
"You're the only one in the canine genus." Hatori said.
"That's not a good one." Said Shigure. "I want a REAL one."
"You're the only one who could pull off being a werewolf!" said Ayame.
"YEAH!!!" Shigure declared, slamming his fist into his palm. "I am all over that tonight!"
"Don't get caught." Said Hatori. "I don't want to have to bail you out."
"And what's that supposed to mean?!" demanded Shigure. "I can take care of myself just fine! I don't need YOU to watch over me!"
"I mean if you get caught then I'm going to have to erase memories." Hatori corrected himself. "And I don't want to have to do that."
"Hey!" said Shigure. "Why do you get a magical power and no one else does?! That's another special thing you have about you! Not only are the only aquatic Jyunnishi but you're the only one with a magic power!"
"It's not a privilege." Said Hatori. "Trust me, if I could, I'd give it to you."
"I WOULD say you're a pal but you're also in another category of being the only mythical creature." Said Shigure, crossing his arms.
"And you're the only one who doesn't turn into the animal from the actual story." Said Kureno. "Cause you turn into a seahorse instead of a dragon."
"Really?" Hatori said, rolling his eyes. "I'd prefer not to be reminded."
"So you have four special things about you and I have none!" whined Shigure.
"No, you can pretend to be a werewolf." Ayame pointed out.
"Oh goody." Said Shigure. "I can friggen pretend to be a werewolf. I can't even be a REAL werewolf!"
"Is that what bothers you?" Hatori said, raising the eyebrow of the side that WASN'T covered with hair. "Because it is then I'll just have to hit you."
"Well can you imagine turning into a snake whenever you get cold?" Ayame said randomly.
"HEY!!" yelled Shigure. "That's something special about you that doesn't happen to me! That's not fair!!"
"It's a bad thing." Said Hatori. "Whenever he gets cold, he turns into a snake. Would you want that?"
"Yes." Said Shigure.
"You obviously don't turn into a dog enough." Said Ayame.
Then Hatori turned around to see that some random guy who was breathing very deeply had been listening to everything they were saying. Instead of just smacking him like he would have done if he was on Hey Arnold!, he only zapped him with his memory erasing powers.
"You did that JUST to show off!!" yelled Shigure.
"You know me too well." Said Hatori sarcastically.
MEANWHILE!!!
"I'm bored of just doing karaoke…" Kagura sighed, putting the microphone down and walking back over to the table where Rin and Ritsu were sitting.
"Whyever not?" asked Ritsu who will, from now on, be using his dub voice because his dub voice rocks my socks.
"It's just that I've been doing it all morning and all I really want to do right now is the Teen Sensation." Kagura replied, slumping down in a chair.
"What do you want to do instead?" asked Rin.
"I want to find Kyo!" Kagura declared. Rin and Ritsu decided to help Kagura find Kyo because they didn't have anything better to do.
MEANWHILE!!!
"Wow!" said Tohru happily. "Look at all the ice cream!"
"And it's self serve too!" Momiji declared. "I can get all the ice cream I want! FOR FREE!!"
"It's not for free!" yelled Kyo. "SOMEONE had to pay for it!"
"But not me!" Momiji said with horseshoe eyes.
"What are we going to do after this?" asked Haru sexily.
"Whatever you guys want to do!" Tohru replied. "Maybe we should ask Momiji since he's the one who saved up all the money for this cruise and invited us in the first place!"
"Yeah!" exclaimed Momiji as he stuffed his face with enormous amounts of ice cream. "You should all listen to me!"
"There's no way in hell that I'm EVER going to listen to Momiji!" yelled Kyo.
"Oh, You're just cranky because we're in the middle of the ocean and you hate water!" Momiji said.
"I AM NOT!!!" screamed Kyo.
"Don't worry, Kyo." Said Haru. "We don't blame you for it."
"Yeah!" agreed Momiji. "You've always been cranky when it rains! Ever since you were a little kid!"
"SINCE WHEN ARE WE TALKING ABOUT ME AS A LITTLE KID?!" yelled Kyo at the top of his lungs. "BESIDES, IT'S NOT RAINING!!!"
"But it practically is because we're surrounded by so much water!" Tohru said cheerfully.
"FORGET IT!!" yelled Kyo. "I don't even know why I bother talking to any of you! All you ever do is piss me off!"