A Day in the Life of Marauders... Or Not.

By: The Waffleshorts

A/N: (This is so you ((and the characters)) don't get confused...cuz we all know mr. black is likely to do just that...)

Sirius Black- Loopy Liverface

Remus Lupin- Pinky Chickenlips

James Potter- Pinky Bubblesniffer

Harry Potter- Loopy Bubblesniffer

Lily Evans- Boobie Picklechunks

Peter Pettigrew- Tulefel Girdlesniffer

Ronald Weasley- Zippy Girdlefanny

Hermione Granger- Loopy Gizzardchunks

Albus Dumbledore- Lumpy Chickenmouth

Minerva McGonagall- Zippy Gigglehiney

Severus Snape- Squeezit Rhinobiscuits

Neville Longbottom- Squeezit Bubblepants

Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort- Pinky Cootienose/ Loopy Bubblenose

Fred Weasley- Crusty Girdlefanny

George Weasley- Goober Girdlefanny

Molly Weasley- Boobie Girdlefanny

Arthur Weasley- Tulefel Girdlefanny

Percy Weasley- Loopy Girdlefanny

Bill Weasley- Boobie Girdlefanny

Charlie Weasley- Poopsie Girdlefanny

Ginny Weasley- Zippy Girdlefanny

Draco Malfoy- Poopsie Applebreath

Lucius Malfoy- Buttercup Applebreath

Narcissa Malfoy- Loopy Applebreath

Bellatrix Lestrange- Boobie Girdlesniffer

Alastor Moody- Poopsie Bubblenose

Rubeus Hagrid- Lumpy Applebuns

Gilderoy Lockhart- Boobie Bubblebutt

Cornileus Fudge- Loopy Chickenpants

Ludo Bagman- Gidget Appletushie

Bartemius Crouch- Loopy Gizzardsprinkles

Igor Karkaroff- Goober Applebutt

Olympe Maxime- Dinky Applelips

Viktor Krum- Flunky Gizzardtushie

Prologue:

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, Fred, George, Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ginny, Barty, Draco, Hagrid, Ex-Professor Lockhart, and Viktor were wandering around the Hogwarts school grounds {a/n: yes, we realize that some of these people are currently not living, but this is our story, not yours and we don't care!!!!} when all of a sudden BAM! Lockhart runs into the Whomping Willow and Ginny (being the 'smart' one) picks a piece of parchement that fell out of it.

"Hey guys! Come look at this!!" she shouted. The whole group, even Snape and Lockhart come to see what it is and everyone sticks their finger on it to see how it feels (cuz its so dang old) and in a bright flash, all of them are gone.

(This is what the bit of old parchment says:

Use the THIRD letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = poopsie

b = lumpy

c = buttercup

d = gidget

e = crusty

f = greasy

g = fluffy

h = cheeseball

i = chim-chim

j = stinky

k = flunky

l = boobie

m = pinky

n = zippy

o = goober

p = doofus

q = slimy

r = loopy

s = snotty

t = tulefel

u = dorkey

v = squeezit

w = oprah

x = skipper

y = dinky

z = zsa-zsa

Use the SECOND letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = apple

b = toilet

c = giggle

d = burger

e = girdle

f = barf

g = lizard

h = waffle

i = cootie

j = monkey

k = potty

l = liver

m = banana

n = rhino

o = bubble

p = hamster

q = toad

r = gizzard

s = pizza

t = gerbil

u = chicken

v = pickle

x = tofu

y = gorilla

z = stinker

Use the FOURTH letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = head

b = mouth

c = face

d = nose

e = tush

f = breath

g = pants

h = shorts

i = lips

j = honker

k = butt

l = brain

m = tushie

n = chunks

o = hiney

p = biscuits

q = toes

r = buns

s = fanny

t = sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = pickle

w = squirt

x = humperdinck

y = brains

z = juice )

Chapter 1:

Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Lily Evans were sitting in Gryffindor Common Room when all of a sudden a bright flash interrupted their conversation about Snivellus (or Severus Snape).

About fifteen or so people (ranging from young to very old...) appeared in the middle of the common room. Four of these people looked vaguely familiar.

"Hey!" Sirius screamed. "You look like him!" He pointed to Harry then to James. "Only, you don't have his eyes...They belong to her." He pointed to Lily.

"Very observant, Sirius, the rest of us already got that." Lupin muttered.

"YOU!" Harry screamed and ran to Pettigrew and started strangling him. That is until Sirius, James, and Remus pulled them apart.

"Well, we must be in another time period because some of you are supposed to be dead, but you aren't. Plus, you look to be about our age. And he's not evil yet-are you?" Hermione said.

"Also very observant." Lupin repeated.

"Show us your arm!" ordered Harry. Pettigrew pulled up his sleeve to reveal...a tattoo that looked like a skull with a snake. "That's the Dark Mark!!!"

"The Whatsit?" asked Sirius. "No, that's a tattoo that he got last week, isn't it Pettigrew? Isn't it? I'm hungry, we'll deal with you later, Pettigrew!"