Chapter Five
Of Balance and Blood

Through an unfaltering gaze I watched him in the most unbelieving manner.
He chuckled. "What I state is true."
"But she is just… a child." I mused over the words in my head it did not seem feasible, and slowly the words left my lips. "The one who controls our powers is a child?"
"As are you."
True, yet Mortanius watched me frown, he was not afraid to show that he found the situation humorous, although his humour always remained one of a dry standard like that of his laughs.

"Rest now Azimuth." He went towards the source of light, the candles arranged upon the mantelpiece that ornamented the fireplace, the main focal point of the room. Swiftly he guided his hands quickly through each flame to extinguish them one by one, their glows fading into nothing as he bayed them peace.

"What would happen if Ariel was harmed?"
"Destroyed?" His moment of extinguishing the flames was disrupted; he stood silently and still and yet never turned to look at me.

"Then, another one would be born to replace her." Mortanius' voice a majority of the time was forever fixed upon the same timbre, never faltering and a greater part of times deadly serious. His voice now remained flat and unwavering but I imagined that I could pinpoint a hue of sadness and came to think that his cohorts memories and their loss was always apparent within his mind.

"Let us not think of such, Ariel is a dear person." I could tell that Mortanius was eager to put this topic to rest, but there was something else this child wished to know before sleep was to have its way.

"What if Balance was disrupted?"
With such a question he turned, his gaze level with my own. "Then my child…" He replied with forebode. "That would be a tragedy on our behalf." With one sweeping last gesture the candles went out and dispelled the room into darkness.

Tragedy, a tragedy on our behalf. For one such as she to have a role like that made me contemplate even more so. Our powers, we had to have balance, all of us. What we used had to equal out, a life for a life or so to speak. And it was the Balance Guardian's job to uphold this. If Balance became broken then Mortanius only spoke of the turmoil that would follow. It appeared that he disliked talking about it anymore then he had to. But what remained was a distant omen consequential from his very words, a tragedy on our behalf.

The days moved on, my fever settled as my energy was replenished and my body rested. We stopped within another tavern, this one of more opulence then that of the last and yet it still remained to be a dusty room with a fairly comfortable bed, a fireplace and unpretentious decorations. We had no servants tend to us, Mortanius made it clear that he did not want another incident such as the last to emerge, fair enough. As long as no one pressed on about what made me different then all would remain peaceful.

Ariel was quick to 'take me under her wing' seeing that I ate what I could even when at times food was the last thing I wanted. In all accounts she attempted to befriend me. As I had never had a friend before I only found the situation strange, and yet I allowed her to continue with these intimations, tolerating her ways if only to humour her. And I did humour her, humour her and watch her through knowing eyes. In a way I was fascinated by her manner and the life she radiated from many gestures and many ways. And They watched too.

I could not help but see how fragile Ariel seemed. Fragile in the sense that she was almost carrying the whole of Nosgoth upon her back. For such a position as she was placed, I knew I did not desire. To envy her would be to desire an infinite, endless potential of worries, such were not worth my concern.

More so I pitied Ariel for the whelp of time that she became, a most wanted and idealistic target to all those opposed to the Circle, whilst on her shoulders the scales of Balance were always erected. Yet she passed her duty off without objection, in all accounts she loved her Guardianship. Her whole motion radiated the power she beheld, the Balance of life that she loved and kept in a constant flow of equilibrium.

Her duty was always put first. Her life was ridiculously fabricated around her obligation to the Pillars, which Ariel stated constantly, and was always swift to remind me of where it was I myself stood. And sometimes I found myself opposed to such reminders; Ariel loved the Pillars, where as I… I did not.

I have always loved my powers, but I have never loved the obelisks that bind me firm to what is expectantly my 'duty'.

Within those days that we stayed in that town I learnt with willingness what I could. With more interest I acquired a thirst that eagerly propelled me to have knowledge of an assortment of things, snatching up any information my associates would tell me.

Information ranged from the Circles place within Nosgoth, to my own position and sometimes a tale of my predecessors would slip out. If it did I would ask those I was speaking with to tell me more. But they never did. Ariel always claimed that she knew not much of the tale and that I should ask Mortanius. Yet at the same time she stated that I should uphold my respect for him and not to ask of such a thing. So I listened to her and upheld that respect, for a while. As for Malek, he remained silenced by his own obligations. I became aware that he was Guardian to the Guardians, normally with Ariel if she left to go out and then with both of us if Balance and me conversed.

On one morning the room remained empty, empty of all seen things anyway, and only I remained. Times alone in quietness I enjoyed, next to the open window and the flow of the winds catching all things fabricated. Those things fabricated of this world, and the fabrication of others. It had been a daring moment, one where I had parted my hair so that I could look upon truly what others did not see.

I saw the elucidating flow of what others could not, leaning against the wall studying what was there, what had always been there. The feeling I got was almost like being in a calm stupor, a daze. It was breathtaking, and everything was tranquil. But I was only seeing and inside my mind I was told that if I truly wanted to experience what was mine then I would have to go one step further.

The whispers spoke of pain being the key to opening, pain and what came from such. Such things spoken confused me but I was eager to know more, to understand what They spoke of, Those who had been so good to me, protecting me whenever possible. Now They spoke of another thing

As a child They knew how to charm me, and They spoke of me being able to perceive them properly. For such to happen blood was the element that would empower this, or so They said. It was a nerving thing to do, but now that I was alone it was the perfect time to experiment.

In my hand was the dagger, the one They had given to me as a gift - and with a reason it seemed. I beheld it all; just a breath away from other places and all I had to do was reach for Them.

Little by little I drew the blade over the palm of my hand. At first there was no blood, and then as I turned my hand to exam it, so it was that it flowed. With curiosity and wonder of the crimson substance I brought my wounded hand up to my face to examine it further. There was a tingling sensation of hurt that I was able to ignore, clenching my hand together so the pressure on the wound was extended causing the blood to drip from my hand and onto the floor.

It drew my essence together, pulling tightly on my senses. Soon my hand was quick to drop to my side in a useless fashion. My two eyes closed whilst the third eye remained fully open.

It was the first time I had willingly embraced what was mine, and the experience of such I will never forget. I was the bystander and the watcher of other planes. Yet in this concoction of blood and power there was still something that remained to be missing, and that one missing element made this moment weak.

I was told to take one step at a time, my power and its development was not to be rushed and I should take each exercise moment by moment. For now I was to be satisfied with just 'seeing', and I was.

Through this transaction that I had achieved I heard many voices becoming sudden and louder then I had ever heard them before. Their language fashioned in a tone I did not recognize although I could understand, and with only the third eye open I was witness to the thin membranes of other…

My connection and concentration was broken when I noticed that Ariel was standing in the room, ghostly in appearance, the door closed behind her. I had not heard her enter the room, for if I had of done I would have stopped my progression long before.

Ariel watched me as my eyes opened once more and the third one was covered. My hand was a witness, bloody to what had been, and only now did I register the pain I had inflicted upon myself.

"Azimuth?" Her voice was shaken, a trace of fear resisted within her vocals. "Azimuth, they had surrounded you."
I looked at her in a quizzical manner, not quite understanding what she had said. And then I realized… Ariel had seen Them.

She had seen Them in the alleyway and she had seen Them now. Nevertheless, I was quick to remember that back then, when we had met she had seen Them, she had not feared them, why so? Her words from that moment coursed through my mind 'They are but shadows Malek, screeching ones at that, they are of no threat… they remain trapped'. Trapped? So why was she frightened of seeing them now, were they not they trapped anymore? …What had I done…

"Do not do that Azimuth, you must not."

I scowled and shook my head whilst wrapping my hand in a cloth that was near the washbowl. "Not what?" Agitation, agitation because I did not fully understand what she was asking me not to do.

"I thought I was meant to use my powers?"
"Yes, you are." The concern was still there. "But within our powers there are also elements there we should not call upon." With such spoken words I heard Them wail in disdain although they made sure such protest never reached her ears.

"We all have sides to us, both for the good and for the evil. But our powers must always be used for the good."
"I am not…" I faulted within my sentence, the moment was passing, but confusion was still present. "I am sorry." The child within replied. "If I have done something… wrong…"
Ariel lowered her gaze. "Be careful Azimuth, those unseeing often fall the greatest height."

In distant understanding, yet with an understanding that did not want to take heed, I nodded, just so that it would settle her mind. In honesty I was more interested in the fact that she had been able to see Them. It made me wonder how, but then was she not she Balance? The benefactor and regulator of ours, someone who made sure everything evened out. Nevertheless, I had to ask. "You saw Them?"

There was a pause, one so that she could take in the question that I had asked her. The pause extended so that she could answer correctly. "Yes, and you did not?"
"At the moment, I can only hear Them." I explained.
"They talk to you?" she asked with a curious notion. I am sure if she was aware that They did, but it was as if she wanted me to confirm her suspicions of such.
"Yes."

"The Pillars, they talk to you?" I gave her the sceptical look of a non-believer for the whole idea seemed amusing. A parody worthy of such a lament of laughter, how could pillars of stone converse with a girl, this girl?

"No words leave them in the gesture of speech, but they do communicate."
And yet even that statement did not rid me of my cynical glance. "How so?"
Ariel's eyes were quick to dart with a receptive response. I could see the flickering of emotion take a hold of her. She enjoyed speaking of her job and anything that surrounded it. It seemed she was born to do nothing but serve those endless columns of stone.

"It is hard to explain. You will experience it for yourself when we return to them."
Was that where we were heading then, to the Pillars? As of yet no one had spoke of our intention of this journey. But of course, I understood that sooner or later I would have to see them. If one of them was mine then I desired to see it for myself.

"You will only hear your Pillar when you are close. However, their voices are something that I hear all of the time." Ariel added in a slightly ostentatious tone that seemed not of her original nature, and yet had I not heard this tone before? Back in the alleyway when she had questioned Mortanius, and now I understood that she had had every rights to.

"Does it not it irritate you, all those voices? Do you tell them to be quiet at night so that you can sleep?" My own statement, made to wield back at her superior tone, and yet I now know that she had not wished it to sound that way, to sound as if she was more 'superior' then any of us, not that way at all. But my own comment was complete and full to the brim with sarcasm.

My words however, went unheeding to her. Ariel ignored the sarcasm perhaps because she had noticed herself that her voice had sounded conceited.

"Not voices," she corrected me. "More like… a 'frequency' of sound. They emit a kind of 'hum'."
"A hum?" I proved still to be the sceptic.
"Yes. Each Pillar has a different 'pulsation'. In equilibrium the pulsations of each sound compliments the other. In disequilibria then none of the sound frequencies match, only a terrible sound remains."

At this explanation I found myself contemplating what Ariel had said, not only thinking upon her clarification of the way she understood equilibrium and balance, and her understanding of the Pillars, but also thinking upon how we had gotten onto this subject in the first place.

Through the open window I leaned out, looking at the streets below and the people that walked them. A child pulled eagerly on his fathers arm only to accidentally walk into the path of another moments later. I flinched expecting the child to be chastised for such, but only apologies were exchanged and all continued their ways. I noticed that with such Ariel had been watching me, studying my reaction.

"Not everyone is like your father." she said through a sorry gaze. But such I wished not to speak of and so was swift to set our conversation on track once more.

Talk of the Pillars was droll in some aspects, and other explanations seemed unfitting, yet I was willing to continue this motion of subject if it meant escaping a talk about my own upbringing and the Monster that had tormented me.

"Have you witnessed this, a state of disequilibria?"
"Disequilibria? If there was disequilibria then chaos would consume Nosgoth. No, I have not been witness to disequilibria, I just know of such; it is my responsibility to know. Currently two Pillars are not in equilibrium; their 'tones' are out. Yours is one of them…" There was a deep sigh. "And the other one is Mind. We are still searching for that Guardian."

'Searching' such a word suggested that I had been hunted for, looked, sought and finally found. Would I ever regret such, the day that brought Mortanius to my father's door? I could here the sire's voice now, 'this wretch here is nothing.' Thank you dear man for warping your child's mind.

A bitter smile crossed my face. "I see, so my Pillar does not 'hum' properly?"
Ariel missed the tone of jest within that question and instead brought a hand to her chin in a gesticulation of thought. "Perhaps 'hum' is not the right word. You will understand when you feel the source of where your power steams from."
Inattentively I nodded. I knew that I had to except my Pillar if I wished still to be empowered. Oh and I did, for my powers had proved to be useful, life had been lost but it had been a necessary sacrifice to keep mine intact.

"Hum?" I pondered, still amused by the thoughts of 'humming stone'.
"Yes." Ariel demonstrated what she meant by the inclination of humming by humming herself, a sweet note that was gentle and feminine to the chord. I surprised her and myself when it was I laughed, my lips moulding into a smile. I could not remember the last time I had laughed like that, more so perhaps it was the first.

"You laugh." A smile was quick to follow such a comment.
"Yes I can laugh." There was hesitation before it was I continued. "I am just like them Ariel. I laugh, I bleed, I…" Realisation held out its hand.

Ariel's eyes glazed over with a sadness she was not afraid to show in front of others. "Cry?"
I shook my head, a radiating sadness that did not even exist in me, for I knew no different. The bloody tears and those of glass I did shed were ones of frustration and hindrance. No, cry was one thing I could never master. In all my powers that I wield and control that one simple element has always been out of my grasp, and yet it exudes pain.

In seriousness I replied, my voice stern and dry and devoid of any comprehension of emotion. "I am afraid crying is far from me, but… other then that I am… Mortal?"
"Yes, of course you are." Ariel added in reassuring empathy, but I took little notice of what she said, focusing more on what I had instead.

'Other then that I am… Mortal?' It had been a question more then a declaration, and conceivably that was disappointment in my tone, but Ariel did not hear it.

A decline in my nature was becoming apparent. Each time I brought up the question of being Mortal I found myself questioning what I was. And each time I did that I only received a disappointing answer, what was this? Why did I feel so resentful? The pain as I attempted to balance everything out was unbearable. On one side there was the Azimuth who wished to do what was best, the timid child who hid and when found was crushed in spirit by the one who had brought her into the world.

On the other was a newly sprung Azimuth, a new child that was no more human then the aspect of power she brandished. This 'creature', born of malice from a poisoned seed, was fierce, cold and cruel, and she waited for the moment when I would let her free. Set in the middle was another Azimuth, the girl I was then, the one who was torn between the two images of the others… who to become… On either side they fought for a piece of me, each tugging simultaneously, both eager for me to become them. But this mêlée was insufferable and at any moment I felt that I was liable to break.

I tightened the cloth around my hand, it throbbed to an extent that resulted in me gritting my teeth. I did not want to give it any notice, if I did so then Ariel would want to take a look, and I did not want the attention. Yet she did catch me glancing at my hand every now and then, furthermore, before she could ask there was a knock upon the door.

Both of us turned concurrently as the Paladin entered.

This was the first time I heard his voice, metallic hinted due to his punishment of being bonded to his armour.
"Lord Mortanius requests that both you and Lady Azimuth join him down stairs."
Ariel smiled and nodded whilst I was swift to send her a quizzing look.
"He can speak?"

With this she chuckled and looked at me, a slight hue coursing through her eyes stating that I should not be so impolite. "Of course he can speak Azimuth." She gestured for me to leave the room with her. "Thank you Malek." Ariel nodded and I followed behind her.

As it was we left through the doorway I glanced up at the tall armoured figure. Malek's hand was poised upon the door handle as he held the door open. And so it was I reached out and touched the gauntleted hand of the one who was sworn to protect us. It was hard to believe that underneath this metal structure there was nothing but emptiness.

No response was made as my hand touched cold metal, although I was aware that he was gazing down upon me. At last, with understanding I became aware that Malek knew of the story I wanted to hear, the downfall of Ariel's predecessors and mine. In knowledge I understood that he had been there, and for one reason or another this was his punishment.

My senses were ignited. I wanted to hear this tale and I was about to ask, but it was Ariel who called my name from the bottom of the stairs. I obeyed her and began to walk away, full in the knowledge that I had found my storyteller.

We found Mortanius in a secluded room off the main part of the tavern, the owner had allowed him to use it for the sake of privacy, and of course he was willing to provide the Guardians he sheltered with whatever we needed. After all it was an honour to have us here, as he kept saying over and over again until his droning voice nearly drove me mad. Mortanius was swift to bay him quiet, stating that he did not want everyone to know that we were here, and I could understand why. Here in a quaint town, perfect targets, and four to be taken out at once.

"Where are we heading?" I asked, as I sat down at the table.
"We are heading in the direction of the Pillars." Mortanius' answer verified what it was I had thought, exactly the place I suspected we were going.
"How far away are the Pillars?"
"A couple of days travel, and no…." He chuckled in that dry manner of his. "I have no intentions of using any 'power' to get us there quicker."
He was beginning to know me too well.

Our conversations were merged with different topics. It was in reality the first 'council' and gathering of ours that I attended, and by no means was it my last. It was merged with Mortanius' vocals, dry and serious, combined with that of the mysterious and gentle tones of Ariel's and then my own as I asked questions, my false timid nature dissolving.

Slowly as time passed and Ariel and me were treated to food served to us by the tavern owner himself, Malek spoke once more. The topic he raised was spread between him and Mortanius; in an account Ariel and me were purely listeners and not involved. He mentioned something that was typical of him, because of the times he had seen. Vampires.

His mention of the topic broke off into a discussion with Mortanius about some sordid gathering of Vampires somewhere in Nosgoth. Meanwhile Ariel ate her food, sitting next to me, whilst I picked at mine. This topic surprisingly caught and held my interest, but it was a conversation only between Mortanius and Malek, and I was to remain silent.

I had yet to see a Vampire for myself. Being the child I was, hidden from the world I could honestly state that at that age I had yet to see such a creature. Those individuals that did come near our town where destroyed on sight and their bodies left to hang limply in a statement of warning. Such an alliance of execution was said to be a 'token action of the erstwhile ways'. I heard that it had been a favoured method among the Sarafan, apparently once great 'Knights' who served Nosgoth to purify its lands of such creatures. They however, did not succeed. Their greatest feat was their furthermost demise, a downfall that brought them to their knees. A couple of turns after such situation, the Sarafan were no more but a dying legend to all those who cared to remember. And Malek was the last.

At one point I got lost within my own thoughts as their discussion continued, their voices dwindling as I focused upon my own thoughts and moments passed us by. It was not until I saw Mortanius frown that I looked to gaze upon them both. Mortanius for one reason or another was shaking his head. As I withdrew from my mind I allowed my hearing to pick up what it could, a word spoken, 'Uschtenheim', more importantly it was a name. And again my interest was captured.

Without word Mortanius stood and gestured for us to do so as well, now that we had finished eating. It seemed we were to leave right away, and I was still attempting to piece together what they had said from what pieces I had heard, and yet only that name remained apparent.

It appeared we were to head there, and I noticed that Mortanius seemed reluctant to go that way. Yet for one reason or another that was the way it was to be. With such a mention of Uschtenheim I noticed that all of them became affected in one-way or another. All of them seemed reluctant to go there.

But we were to leave, and it was the beginning of a fresh afternoon that we headed out. Indeed we moved on, unknown to us that we were being watched.