Disclaimer: I don't own any of them! Get it?
Note: this is in memory of Sirius Black
Harry lay in bed at number four privet drive, his aunt and uncle left him alone and Dudley was still giving him a wide birth after what had happened the previous summer.
When they got home he went straight to his room.
Dumbledore had given him a lot to think about and though he knew he had a lot of people with him behind him, willing waiting and wanting to help…
He couldn't help but think Sirius was gone….
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
'the boy who lived' that's what they called him, like he was a brave hero every day of his existence. But truth be told he was scared, his godfather was gone, and now he felt completely lost.
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
"its like you're here, and not" he whispered to the photograph of Sirius at his parents wedding day, "and its agonizing, "I wish right now that I didn't meet you, it hurts and I can't take it"
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
"I don't think I can forget you" he sighed, "even twenty years from now, when I have a job and maybe kids of my own…you'll still be in my mind, still make me wonder what if it was different"
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
He was always there, he remember someone saying once that the people we lost never truly leave, but he had had Sirius for what seemed like a long time even if it was for a few weeks and summer. He was there when he needed to talk, when he had to ask about stuff…and it was insignificant stuff…he could have said something ANYTHING to him about how much he appreciated him but he never did…he never said he thought of him as a father and brother.
You used to captivate me by your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
"And I didn't even think did I?" he took the picture in his trembling hands, "I thought you were in trouble I was reckless and heroic and because of this you died"
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
"why won't it stop hurting?" he slammed the picture on his bed…"its not fair! I shouldn't have to deal with all this now!" he let a tear fall
'to think I will have to become the thing I hate, a murderer…Sirius what would you do? I wish you could tell me' he thought
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But do you're still with me
I've been alone all along
'I know you aren't here, I had hoped there was a way to talk to you somehow, I wished you became a ghost' he thought
'but I started life alone, I might as well take it alone right? My friends will come and go and I will always be alone'
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Harry put the picture in his dresser drawer and shut it.
"I have to go, I have to move on alone"
he said softly, "because its gonna be me alone in the end"
He left his room to see if he could catch a bit of the nightly news.