I'm baaaaccckkkk!!!! No, I'm not dead. Unfortunately. But it's got to
happen sometime, so don't be TOO disappointed. As you may have guessed, I
still don't own Bush or any of the other stuff that I don't own here, nor
do I want to. And now, the last chapter of the story "Bush Goes to
Kindergarten"!!
Chapter 5: April, May and June/It's like Joan of Arc All Over Again!
It was a mild early spring day in everyone's least favorite Kindergarten class when a disaster..or a miracle to most, happened. As all the little kids of the classroom took show and tell objects out of their cubbies and sat in a circle, a fit of giggles made its way around the room. George wasn't paying attention though. He was too tired because nightmares of being accepted into a monkey cult made it impossible for him to sleep. He almost didn't notice when something beneath him emitted a loud farting noise when he sat down. The laughter of the little children exploded as his face turned a shade of red that would put a sunburned teenybopper to shame. Then he cried and ran to the bathroom, only to be splashed in the face by a malfunctioning toilet. The janitor got fired last week because of cuts to the education budget. Since he also wanted higher test scores and they needed the money teachers didn't use for things like heat, someone had to go. And "Insane Earl", as the ex-janitor was called was that special someone. This caused him to suffocate because he was too poor to afford oxygen, so he vowed to get the ones responsible for this in their dreams. (Yes, I am ripping off the Simpsons episode where Willy does almost the same thing, which is ripping off "Fear on Elm Street". Happy now?!) So naturally, no one wanted to fix the toilet. He got cherry bombs thrown at him for the rest of the day, April 1st until he could run home and cry to no one who cared, but had to listen to him rant anyway.
The air conditioner broke on the first hot day in May and that was really the only thing that happened until the last day of school, Mary Sue's execution. She was led to the gym and tied to a stake with Bush standing in front of it with a very unauthentic looking Puritan costume.
"Hear ye, hear ye! Ye are about to witness the burning of the heretic Mary Sue! Anyone who wishes to join her, excuse me, present any evidence as to her innocence, please speak now or forever hold your peace!" He gave exactly two milliseconds for a reply before talking in a fake..really really old accent again. "If there are no objections, then I now pronounce you husband and.WAIT!! No, that's not it. If there are no objections, then let the burning begin!!!"
"I OBJECT!!!!!" boomed a voice from the far end of the gym.
"Shrek? What the heck are you doing here?"
"No, I object!!" said the ghost of Tim the Stalker as he pushed Shrek out the window. "No, I object!!" yelled another ghost.
"HOLY CRUD!!", an old teacher shrieked. "IT'S THE GHOST OF INSANE EARL!!!! AND HE'S BACK FOR HIS REVENGE!!!"
"No, I was just back for my mop, but come to think of it, revenge does sound good." Then it dawned on him. The bad foreshadowing, the nightmares about the monkeys, the spraying toilet, it had all been Insane Earl back for his vengeance.and his mop. He went all crazy and stuff as the last bell of the year rang and the nice people in white coats took him away and gave him a nice straightjacket to wear. Mary Sue was saved by Tim the Stalker's ghost and they moved to Antarctica where they ised (the action of being, past tense of is.or at least I think it should be) very happily until the penguins gave them leprosy.
"What the? It's just like Joan of Arc all over again!", remarked some random teacher who looks just like someone I know. But I'm not telling who.
George lived in his padded cell at Hellhole High and had hallucinations of ruling the world until the penguins invaded Hell under the orders of a little green alien and gave him leprosy too. Did he ever go on to first grade? I don't know, the FBI finally caught me. No, not really. I'm just too lazy to write any more. So in other words it's.
THE END
Chapter 5: April, May and June/It's like Joan of Arc All Over Again!
It was a mild early spring day in everyone's least favorite Kindergarten class when a disaster..or a miracle to most, happened. As all the little kids of the classroom took show and tell objects out of their cubbies and sat in a circle, a fit of giggles made its way around the room. George wasn't paying attention though. He was too tired because nightmares of being accepted into a monkey cult made it impossible for him to sleep. He almost didn't notice when something beneath him emitted a loud farting noise when he sat down. The laughter of the little children exploded as his face turned a shade of red that would put a sunburned teenybopper to shame. Then he cried and ran to the bathroom, only to be splashed in the face by a malfunctioning toilet. The janitor got fired last week because of cuts to the education budget. Since he also wanted higher test scores and they needed the money teachers didn't use for things like heat, someone had to go. And "Insane Earl", as the ex-janitor was called was that special someone. This caused him to suffocate because he was too poor to afford oxygen, so he vowed to get the ones responsible for this in their dreams. (Yes, I am ripping off the Simpsons episode where Willy does almost the same thing, which is ripping off "Fear on Elm Street". Happy now?!) So naturally, no one wanted to fix the toilet. He got cherry bombs thrown at him for the rest of the day, April 1st until he could run home and cry to no one who cared, but had to listen to him rant anyway.
The air conditioner broke on the first hot day in May and that was really the only thing that happened until the last day of school, Mary Sue's execution. She was led to the gym and tied to a stake with Bush standing in front of it with a very unauthentic looking Puritan costume.
"Hear ye, hear ye! Ye are about to witness the burning of the heretic Mary Sue! Anyone who wishes to join her, excuse me, present any evidence as to her innocence, please speak now or forever hold your peace!" He gave exactly two milliseconds for a reply before talking in a fake..really really old accent again. "If there are no objections, then I now pronounce you husband and.WAIT!! No, that's not it. If there are no objections, then let the burning begin!!!"
"I OBJECT!!!!!" boomed a voice from the far end of the gym.
"Shrek? What the heck are you doing here?"
"No, I object!!" said the ghost of Tim the Stalker as he pushed Shrek out the window. "No, I object!!" yelled another ghost.
"HOLY CRUD!!", an old teacher shrieked. "IT'S THE GHOST OF INSANE EARL!!!! AND HE'S BACK FOR HIS REVENGE!!!"
"No, I was just back for my mop, but come to think of it, revenge does sound good." Then it dawned on him. The bad foreshadowing, the nightmares about the monkeys, the spraying toilet, it had all been Insane Earl back for his vengeance.and his mop. He went all crazy and stuff as the last bell of the year rang and the nice people in white coats took him away and gave him a nice straightjacket to wear. Mary Sue was saved by Tim the Stalker's ghost and they moved to Antarctica where they ised (the action of being, past tense of is.or at least I think it should be) very happily until the penguins gave them leprosy.
"What the? It's just like Joan of Arc all over again!", remarked some random teacher who looks just like someone I know. But I'm not telling who.
George lived in his padded cell at Hellhole High and had hallucinations of ruling the world until the penguins invaded Hell under the orders of a little green alien and gave him leprosy too. Did he ever go on to first grade? I don't know, the FBI finally caught me. No, not really. I'm just too lazy to write any more. So in other words it's.
THE END