A/N: a big thanx to the two people who have reviewed sofar! I was on
hotmail wondering if my story was actually on fanfiction.net and suddenly
there's reviews! So I started doing a little dance in my chair squealing
hysterically.
And yes I am aware of how boring my life is. And Legolas is MINE! But I
might possible settle for sean bigestaff (can't spell the name. He's oliver
wood in harry potter. The accent! The accent!) sigh.
Anyway u guys rock and I'm putting up more chapters.
Chapter two: Black Riders and Wrong Movies
After a while they heard a strange beeping sound coming from Gandalf. "Oh rats, I have to go to my dentist appointment in Minas Tirith now," said Gandalf, "Sorry Frodo, I'll catch up with you later in Rivendell. Remember, look both ways before you cross the road, don't talk to strangers, and if you meet one of those black rider guys don't let them get your earring cos it's like, gold and black and gold clash so badly, you know?"
"Ok Gandalf," said Frodo. And so Gandalf found a spare horse wandering around in the forest and went off to Minas Tirith or wherever, and Sam and Frodo continued on their way still singing and skipping, although it got harder to skip as they went into a field full of corn. But they pressed on, stopping only to bump into Merry and Pippin.
"We're going to an elvish sleepover in Rivendell. You guys wanna come too?"
"That would be a very good idea," said Merry, "Cos the guy who owns this place is sorta after us cos we, um, borrowed some of his crops and he's right behind us so RUN!"
"Alright then!" said Frodo, and they all linked arms again and started skipping very quickly and still singing, but they were getting really puffed so they gave up on that idea and just ran like hell through the field and accidentally fell off a little cliff thing to go rolling down onto the road. And they also found some mushrooms growing there, and since hobbits love mushrooms Merry, Pippin and Sam started picking them, but since Frodo is more 'in tune' with you know, stuff (in the movie at least) he decided to stay in the middle of the road and listen for strange scary things.
"I think we should get off the road."
"Why?"
"Don't be so stupid Pippin, he can sense some evil thing coming towards us that probably wants to kill us and steal his earring because it likes gold stuff."
"Is that why Frodo?"
"Maybe that too, but I'm allergic to mushrooms and I'm gonna start sneezing soon and it lasts for about two hours afterwards."
Because they didn't really want to be treated to the sight of Frodo having an allergic reaction, Sam Merry and Pippin decided to go along with it and got off the road. And what do you know, one of the freaky black rider guys decides to come and ride past just after they hide, and do the whole scary sniffing thing, and Frodo was feeling really sick when.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" a short, green-eyed, black-haired figure with glasses and wearing black robes screamed. "DEMENTORS!" he took out his wand and tried to cast a spell at the black rider.
"Hey wait a minute," said Frodo, "Are you Harry Potter?"
"Uh. yeah?" said the figure.
"Sorry dude, you're in the wrong movie," said Sam.
"Oh ok," said Harry, and then Disapparated. We now return to our advertised program.
"So. um. what are we supposed to do now?" asked Merry.
"I do this weird sniffing thing, and Frodo goes all green and nearly puts his earring on his finger, and then your all run away through the forest and I start chasing you, but you escape on the boat thing," said the black rider.
"Oh yes thanks for reminding us," said Frodo, and proceeded to go green and sick-looking. So they acted out that scene and pulled it off quite well because they were part-time actors, and escaped down the river while the black riders galloped off to do whatever it is black riders do in their spare time, cos their next scene wasn't for a while.
"How far is it to Bree?" asked Frodo once they were on the boat.
"Sorry Frodo we don't have any brie, we've only got cheddar and camembert."
"I mean Bree the town, not brie the cheese."
"Enough time for it to start raining and to get dark so the scene's set."
"Enough time for me to have a nap?"
"Of course."
"I think we should all try to get some rest cos I've read up to the part where Frodo gets sta- I mean, when we stay overnight at this place called Weathertop, and apparently we don't get much sleep in Bree, so we should try to sleep now."
"Ok then. Me, Merry and Pippin will go to sleep and Sam can steer the boat and keep watch."
"Why me?"
"Because you're pretending that you're my servant, remember?"
Sam sighed and took the paddle from Merry. As the others went to sleep he started singing to himself.
"It's a hard old life."
Anyway u guys rock and I'm putting up more chapters.
Chapter two: Black Riders and Wrong Movies
After a while they heard a strange beeping sound coming from Gandalf. "Oh rats, I have to go to my dentist appointment in Minas Tirith now," said Gandalf, "Sorry Frodo, I'll catch up with you later in Rivendell. Remember, look both ways before you cross the road, don't talk to strangers, and if you meet one of those black rider guys don't let them get your earring cos it's like, gold and black and gold clash so badly, you know?"
"Ok Gandalf," said Frodo. And so Gandalf found a spare horse wandering around in the forest and went off to Minas Tirith or wherever, and Sam and Frodo continued on their way still singing and skipping, although it got harder to skip as they went into a field full of corn. But they pressed on, stopping only to bump into Merry and Pippin.
"We're going to an elvish sleepover in Rivendell. You guys wanna come too?"
"That would be a very good idea," said Merry, "Cos the guy who owns this place is sorta after us cos we, um, borrowed some of his crops and he's right behind us so RUN!"
"Alright then!" said Frodo, and they all linked arms again and started skipping very quickly and still singing, but they were getting really puffed so they gave up on that idea and just ran like hell through the field and accidentally fell off a little cliff thing to go rolling down onto the road. And they also found some mushrooms growing there, and since hobbits love mushrooms Merry, Pippin and Sam started picking them, but since Frodo is more 'in tune' with you know, stuff (in the movie at least) he decided to stay in the middle of the road and listen for strange scary things.
"I think we should get off the road."
"Why?"
"Don't be so stupid Pippin, he can sense some evil thing coming towards us that probably wants to kill us and steal his earring because it likes gold stuff."
"Is that why Frodo?"
"Maybe that too, but I'm allergic to mushrooms and I'm gonna start sneezing soon and it lasts for about two hours afterwards."
Because they didn't really want to be treated to the sight of Frodo having an allergic reaction, Sam Merry and Pippin decided to go along with it and got off the road. And what do you know, one of the freaky black rider guys decides to come and ride past just after they hide, and do the whole scary sniffing thing, and Frodo was feeling really sick when.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" a short, green-eyed, black-haired figure with glasses and wearing black robes screamed. "DEMENTORS!" he took out his wand and tried to cast a spell at the black rider.
"Hey wait a minute," said Frodo, "Are you Harry Potter?"
"Uh. yeah?" said the figure.
"Sorry dude, you're in the wrong movie," said Sam.
"Oh ok," said Harry, and then Disapparated. We now return to our advertised program.
"So. um. what are we supposed to do now?" asked Merry.
"I do this weird sniffing thing, and Frodo goes all green and nearly puts his earring on his finger, and then your all run away through the forest and I start chasing you, but you escape on the boat thing," said the black rider.
"Oh yes thanks for reminding us," said Frodo, and proceeded to go green and sick-looking. So they acted out that scene and pulled it off quite well because they were part-time actors, and escaped down the river while the black riders galloped off to do whatever it is black riders do in their spare time, cos their next scene wasn't for a while.
"How far is it to Bree?" asked Frodo once they were on the boat.
"Sorry Frodo we don't have any brie, we've only got cheddar and camembert."
"I mean Bree the town, not brie the cheese."
"Enough time for it to start raining and to get dark so the scene's set."
"Enough time for me to have a nap?"
"Of course."
"I think we should all try to get some rest cos I've read up to the part where Frodo gets sta- I mean, when we stay overnight at this place called Weathertop, and apparently we don't get much sleep in Bree, so we should try to sleep now."
"Ok then. Me, Merry and Pippin will go to sleep and Sam can steer the boat and keep watch."
"Why me?"
"Because you're pretending that you're my servant, remember?"
Sam sighed and took the paddle from Merry. As the others went to sleep he started singing to himself.
"It's a hard old life."