Apologies - September 2002
Chapter Six
All of the sudden Buffy stopped smiling and smacked Spike across the face, hard. He went flying across the room and landed on a table. Pain immediately shot up from his back. He looked at his now seriously brassed off slayer curiously.
"What the bloody hell was that for?"
"What, you think now that your human with your magnificent soul that I'll forget about the fact that you tried to rape me? I hate you. Just leave me alone. I was crazy to think I could ever love you again." Buffy spat.
She wasn't sure why she had become angry all of the sudden. She had been dealing with what happened for months. She had been coming to accept what happened and deal. He hadn't actually done anything, and the look in his eyes after it happened almost killed her. He was half crazy with love and need. She just looked sadly at him and told herself she was going to attempt to make this work, especially since he was human now.
"Buffy, there are not enough apologies for what I did to you. I'll never be able to make it up. Please let me try. I'm not the same man I was before. You have to believe that. Are you upset about the human thing? I thought you would be happy. I thought that this is what you wanted?"
Spike was honestly curious about the response. She didn't seem pleased with the new and improved Spike.
"I am happy. I'm just confused about so many things. You just disappeared. You left me, and you left Dawn. I didn't know if you were dust somewhere. I didn't know if you were somewhere plotting my death. I can understand how you could have hated me though. I was horrible to you. I raped you so many times, so many different ways. And you let me. I know someday I will find the right words. Now though, now I'm just happy that you are back. You're here right in front of me.I.." Buffy tried to finish, and just began to sob.
Spike walked over to Buffy and wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He just wanted to keep her safe. He wanted to make her feel loved. Buffy just held him tightly, afraid that if she let go he would be gone once again. A shadow in the back of her mind. She was having a hard time adjusting to the beating heart and the warmth.
"You wanna get out of here luv? Maybe we could go somewhere private and talk."
Buffy just nodded her head and Spike led her out the door. Both were unsure of how to proceed. Spike calmly wrapped his arm over her shoulder and led her to his apartment. He was unsure of everything around him. The sense of smell, hearing, and sight were gone. The only left was a frightened mortal. He rarely went out after dark these days. He knew what went bump in the night, and in his human form there was nothing thrilling or exciting about it. He also didn't fancy the idea of Buffy having to save his ass if they were jumped. Spike knew he was pretty strong for a man his size. Well, he knew that he could kick Xander's ass anyway. There was no way he would try to take a vamp on by himself now. He was beginning to realize some of the bigger downfalls to being a mortal.
Buffy looked over at Spike. She wasn't quite as horrified as she had been before, but she was still a little freaked. His cheeks were red, and he looked nervous. She had never seen him loose that cocky attitude he was so famous for. It was gone now. He almost looked like a lost child in a department store. This frightened Buffy a little. Spike was so vulnerable now, and weak. They held one another's hands even tighter and walked more briskly toward the apartment complex that Spike lived in.
What have we gotten ourselves into?
The thought passed through both their minds as they walked into the apartment complex.
Chapter Six
All of the sudden Buffy stopped smiling and smacked Spike across the face, hard. He went flying across the room and landed on a table. Pain immediately shot up from his back. He looked at his now seriously brassed off slayer curiously.
"What the bloody hell was that for?"
"What, you think now that your human with your magnificent soul that I'll forget about the fact that you tried to rape me? I hate you. Just leave me alone. I was crazy to think I could ever love you again." Buffy spat.
She wasn't sure why she had become angry all of the sudden. She had been dealing with what happened for months. She had been coming to accept what happened and deal. He hadn't actually done anything, and the look in his eyes after it happened almost killed her. He was half crazy with love and need. She just looked sadly at him and told herself she was going to attempt to make this work, especially since he was human now.
"Buffy, there are not enough apologies for what I did to you. I'll never be able to make it up. Please let me try. I'm not the same man I was before. You have to believe that. Are you upset about the human thing? I thought you would be happy. I thought that this is what you wanted?"
Spike was honestly curious about the response. She didn't seem pleased with the new and improved Spike.
"I am happy. I'm just confused about so many things. You just disappeared. You left me, and you left Dawn. I didn't know if you were dust somewhere. I didn't know if you were somewhere plotting my death. I can understand how you could have hated me though. I was horrible to you. I raped you so many times, so many different ways. And you let me. I know someday I will find the right words. Now though, now I'm just happy that you are back. You're here right in front of me.I.." Buffy tried to finish, and just began to sob.
Spike walked over to Buffy and wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He just wanted to keep her safe. He wanted to make her feel loved. Buffy just held him tightly, afraid that if she let go he would be gone once again. A shadow in the back of her mind. She was having a hard time adjusting to the beating heart and the warmth.
"You wanna get out of here luv? Maybe we could go somewhere private and talk."
Buffy just nodded her head and Spike led her out the door. Both were unsure of how to proceed. Spike calmly wrapped his arm over her shoulder and led her to his apartment. He was unsure of everything around him. The sense of smell, hearing, and sight were gone. The only left was a frightened mortal. He rarely went out after dark these days. He knew what went bump in the night, and in his human form there was nothing thrilling or exciting about it. He also didn't fancy the idea of Buffy having to save his ass if they were jumped. Spike knew he was pretty strong for a man his size. Well, he knew that he could kick Xander's ass anyway. There was no way he would try to take a vamp on by himself now. He was beginning to realize some of the bigger downfalls to being a mortal.
Buffy looked over at Spike. She wasn't quite as horrified as she had been before, but she was still a little freaked. His cheeks were red, and he looked nervous. She had never seen him loose that cocky attitude he was so famous for. It was gone now. He almost looked like a lost child in a department store. This frightened Buffy a little. Spike was so vulnerable now, and weak. They held one another's hands even tighter and walked more briskly toward the apartment complex that Spike lived in.
What have we gotten ourselves into?
The thought passed through both their minds as they walked into the apartment complex.