I Feel So - March 2009
Chapter Seven
"Buffy, you there?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, I was just remembering."
"I know what you mean. When I saw you today, it was like twelve years of memories came rushing back to me out of nowhere. I thought my heart was going to stop beating when I saw how beautiful you've become."
"Well, you did OK with the no beating heart for like 120 years without too much of a problem. I'm sure you could handle a few seconds." Buffy quipped winningly.
"You've been hanging around Harris for far too long. Definitely getting his lame ass sense of humor."
"Been sorta avoidy lately, actually." Buffy replied sheepishly.
"Is he getting all stalker boy on my girl?" Spike asked half jokingly.
"First I am not your girl. And if he was stalking me he must have taken a crash course from you at some point. I don't think he's in love me or anything. I just think he was lonely for awhile. Anya was gone and he thought that I was lonely. He was just being a little overly friendly. Taking me out to dinner, buying Dawn clothes. Always taking Julia places. Maybe he was afraid of loosing me. I just think he's confused, now that Anya's back."
"Did anything happen between the two of you?" Spike asked, like an overprotective father. The jealousy shone in his eyes.
"He kissed me once, and I let him. I missed kissing.and he was.there.and I.I don't know."
"Ducks, it's OK. You're a big girl. We aren't married, you aren't cheating on me or anything." Spike responded sympathetically.
"But it feels like I am. It hurts when I touch someone else, and it's not you. It's been six years, us being isolated from one another, and it still hurts. When Angel and Riley left, the pain faded with time. But when you left, I felt like I was dying inside. I mean when you left for Africa, you didn't say anything.you.just."
Buffy's already frantic voice was starting to become louder. Part of him wanted to chuckle at how little things had changed. All this time, and everything was still his fault. Some things never change. He sighed as he motioned for Buffy to calm down. She was such a drama queen at times.
"Come on pet. You're the one that doesn't want to dig up the past. And here you are, digging it all up all over again. What do you want pet? I'm tired of playing this game. I accepted the fact that you think everything is my fault. I'm sorry about leaving, I'm sorry about becoming human. Do you want me to be a vampire again? Want me to call up Peaches? Maybe he'll turn me again, so he can dust me. No, better yet, I'll give Dru a ring. Never stopped talking to her. She's been itching to get her hands on me. I could be her little play toy again, and not have to live this mundane existence. So are you going to stop bitching so we can have dinner, or should I just call Dru?"
"You are such a bastard. I knew there was no way we could work this out. You are still the same smug arrogant shit that I fell so deeply in love with so long ago."
"You wanted to work things out? You really loved me?" Spike asked so quietly that Buffy almost didn't hear him.
Chapter Seven
"Buffy, you there?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, I was just remembering."
"I know what you mean. When I saw you today, it was like twelve years of memories came rushing back to me out of nowhere. I thought my heart was going to stop beating when I saw how beautiful you've become."
"Well, you did OK with the no beating heart for like 120 years without too much of a problem. I'm sure you could handle a few seconds." Buffy quipped winningly.
"You've been hanging around Harris for far too long. Definitely getting his lame ass sense of humor."
"Been sorta avoidy lately, actually." Buffy replied sheepishly.
"Is he getting all stalker boy on my girl?" Spike asked half jokingly.
"First I am not your girl. And if he was stalking me he must have taken a crash course from you at some point. I don't think he's in love me or anything. I just think he was lonely for awhile. Anya was gone and he thought that I was lonely. He was just being a little overly friendly. Taking me out to dinner, buying Dawn clothes. Always taking Julia places. Maybe he was afraid of loosing me. I just think he's confused, now that Anya's back."
"Did anything happen between the two of you?" Spike asked, like an overprotective father. The jealousy shone in his eyes.
"He kissed me once, and I let him. I missed kissing.and he was.there.and I.I don't know."
"Ducks, it's OK. You're a big girl. We aren't married, you aren't cheating on me or anything." Spike responded sympathetically.
"But it feels like I am. It hurts when I touch someone else, and it's not you. It's been six years, us being isolated from one another, and it still hurts. When Angel and Riley left, the pain faded with time. But when you left, I felt like I was dying inside. I mean when you left for Africa, you didn't say anything.you.just."
Buffy's already frantic voice was starting to become louder. Part of him wanted to chuckle at how little things had changed. All this time, and everything was still his fault. Some things never change. He sighed as he motioned for Buffy to calm down. She was such a drama queen at times.
"Come on pet. You're the one that doesn't want to dig up the past. And here you are, digging it all up all over again. What do you want pet? I'm tired of playing this game. I accepted the fact that you think everything is my fault. I'm sorry about leaving, I'm sorry about becoming human. Do you want me to be a vampire again? Want me to call up Peaches? Maybe he'll turn me again, so he can dust me. No, better yet, I'll give Dru a ring. Never stopped talking to her. She's been itching to get her hands on me. I could be her little play toy again, and not have to live this mundane existence. So are you going to stop bitching so we can have dinner, or should I just call Dru?"
"You are such a bastard. I knew there was no way we could work this out. You are still the same smug arrogant shit that I fell so deeply in love with so long ago."
"You wanted to work things out? You really loved me?" Spike asked so quietly that Buffy almost didn't hear him.