AUTHOR'S NOTES:This is Chapter 2 of 'When you're gone..'. Thoughts are in italics, and you'll see some 'switching times' between Kagome's time and the Feudal Period; these are all divided by sections ok?^_^So don't get confused!!Btw, there's some cursing and violence in this chapter, so I've marked it as PG-13. Thank you for all the people who've reviewed my story and loved it!^_^Thank you so much!!You don't know how much it means to me!!Just for you guys, this chapter 2 is a very much longer version than the chapter 1, so enjoy!!Now then, on with the story~!
Chapter 2: Loss
As she fell through the Bone Eater's Well, she was screaming Inuyasha's name, and she heard him screaming hers.
"INUYASHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
"KAGOMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
She landed at the bottom of the well, and waited for Inuyasha to appear too, to hold and to comfort her, and tell her that everything was alright, but he didn't.
He's not coming?But he..I...why?Where is he??she thought as the minutes went by.Kikyo...she couldn't...did she do something to him?her anxiety turned to fear as numerous thoughts went through her mind.
He'll come. I know he will!!!Or I'll go back to him!!I'm not losing him after I've just found him!!I'm never gonna let go!!She thought with a furious determination while climbing to the top of the well.
Wait for me Inuyasha, I'm coming!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"KAGOMEEEEEEEE!!!"he howled, helpless and bound by an invisible barrier, as she disappeared into the darkness of the well screaming for him.
His heart plummeted into desperation as he watched the love of his life disappear into the yawning hole as he tried to follow her unsuccessfully.
"Kagome"he whispered softly, his voice broken.
"How sad. She's gone forever now, Inuyasha."Kikyo's voice was unfeeling.
A feral growl arose in his throat, anger rising over losing his beloved.
"Kikyo, take this damned thing off me."his low and tight with anger.
"You're mine Inuyasha. Now and forever. Mine alone, and no one else's.I won't allow you to follow that girl back to her time."she approached the struggling demon.
"You belong to me."she added softly.
"Kikyo. I belonged to you once, and you to me."his reply was soft, and his voice low, trying to hold back his anger against her.
"But that bond between us died when we died. I used to love you Kikyo. You were once the girl who taught me that not all things in this world are cruel and unloving. This girl showed me how to live among others, and even showed me love, which I had never experienced since my mother was murdered. But that girl I once knew is now dead and gone, and all that remains of her is a clay model, who exists because of hate. I don't know her anymore. When your..soul, your part of Kagome's soul, left her body and returned to you, and I saw you again, I promised myself that I wouldn't cause myself this pain anymore, that when all the shards of the Shikon no Tama were collected, I would turn into a full youkai, and be strong, and never love anyone ever again, and never be hurt again. Kagome changed all that."
"Kagome is who I love now."he said quietly.
"She is no substitute for you Kikyo. She never was, and I never intended her to be. Kagome was always Kagome. There may have been some resemblance of you when I first met her, but that quickly disappeared. She's not some replica of you, and she's been there for me through thick and thin, and she's loved me for who I am. She taught me how to live again, and to protect and hold close the things that you love. She taught me to open up to others, to live and to learn."His voice was softer now, as he talked about Kagome, putting his love into words that he never knew he would say, oblivious to the fact that Kikyo was glowering and fuming angrily.
Unexpectedly his voice hardened again.
"Whatever love I once had for you is now DEAD!Do you understand me?!!!"
Kikyo moved back, shock flickering over her eyes for a second, and then regaining her composure.
"You'll never be able to see her again Inuyasha. Never."she smiled coldly, walking over to the well.
Raising her hands over the well, she started to recite an incantation.
"By the will of the gods,
Seal this gateway, as it was never meant to be,
Let eternity lock it, and allow no one to pass.
I bound this spell to me, and hold it in death..."
"Let this spell only be broken when the earth itself dies, and all life fades away.."
"Nooooooooooooo!!!Don't do it Kikyo!!!!!!!!!"
They were suddenly engulfed in a bright light.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here goes!!!
Kagome jumped back into the well, spread-eagle style, and as she neared the bottom of the well, a thought hit her.
I should be back in the Feudal Age by now!What's going on?!She hit rock bottom, soil getting into her eyes, and pain started to spread over her body. She looked up to the top of the well, realization hitting her like a ton of rocks.
I'm still here?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He could see again as the bright light faded away, and he squinted to see clearly. He could see Kikyo's outline, standing in front of the well in the same stance that she had taken up when she had cast the spell.
His anger boiled again
"What the fuck did you do Kikyo!"
He could move freely now; the barrier seemed to have disappeared.
Kikyo turned around, a smirk on her face. "Didn't you hear me?You'll never be able to see her ever again. I sealed up the well. I know that she comes from the future; nobody wears clothes likes that in this age and time, and I once saw her come up from that well. It is clearly the gateway to her era. And I have sealed it."
Shock crossed his features, the pain in his eyes evident.
"You...couldn't....no...."he was at a loss for words.
She moved closer to his form on the ground, and held him; he was broken and crying.
"We can be together now Inuyasha. No one will be able to stop us. We'll be together forever, like we used to be."She whispered into his hair, stroking it softly.
"No..."he was frozen in her embrace, tears streaming down his cheeks, his hands clenched into fists in pain and loss.
Kagome..the thought of not being able to ever see you again...I can't take it!I have to see you!!!I need you, like air, like water...I love you... The tears continued to fall as his pain increased.
This is for you Kagome.
Inuyasha suddenly embraced Kikyo back, holding her tight, like he had done earlier in the night to Kagome.
"Kikyo,"he whispered.
"Inuyasha, I want to stay like this forever..with you together forever..."Kikyo closed her eyes, smiling and resting her head on his shoulder.
"Kikyo..."he closed his eyes as well, his voice soft. "I-I want to be like this too...only...."
"Hmm..?"Kikyo murmured sleepily.
"....I'm gonna kill you..."his voice, which had been soft and gentle just moments ago had hardened into something like stone, and his eyes suddenly changed from their usual amber colour into a blood-dripping red.
Kikyo's eyes snapped open in realization, but it was too late, for his claws had already stabbed through her back in the area where her 'heart' was supposed to be, and she slumped forward onto him, blood dripping from her mouth.
"So....this....is how you truly feel about me....Inuyasha...."she gasped in between breaths of air, as blood continued to spill from her.
He retracted his claws from her back and stood up, looking down at her in pain and hate.
"Why did you force me to do this?I said that any love that I had for you was DEAD!What part of it didn't you understand?Why did you try to take her away from me, Kikyo?Do you even know what the meaning of love is?It isn't about trying to possess somebody!You never understood...."
"Kagome once told me...'If you truly love someone, you'll let them go...'...you didn't really love me, did you, Kikyo...she was willing to let me go to you, because she truly loved me.You.."he pointed a claw at her, the tears were still flowing freely down his face, partly because of having to kill his former beloved, and partly because of the turmoil that was going on in his heart at that moment.
"If you had truly loved me, you would have let me be with Kagome!!!!"he shrieked at her.
He watched the hate in her eyes return as she died silently, her body finally turning to dust as the last drop of blood drained from her body.
A slight breeze blew, taking the dust along with it, and he collapsed into a pile on the ground, crying silently, and bit his lip, drawing blood,trying to hold in the pain as the tears fell faster and faster, soaking the dry ground beneath him.
His howl echoed through the night.
"KAGOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They found her letter in the morning when they awoke, and as Shippou ripped it open, Inuyasha opened the door. They looked at him in shock. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked as if he'd been sleeping in the dust, and had been through seven hells and back. His hair, usually a bright white-silver colour was covered in muck, but what shocked them the most was the blank look of pain and loss that they saw in his eyes, blank and unseeing.
He muttered something under his breath, his head bowed, as he stood in the doorway.
"What did you say Inuyasha?"Kaede inquired.
"She won't be coming back anymore."was the stony reply.
Miroku, Sango, Shippou and Kaede could only stare at him open-mouthed.
"You...you're kidding right?"Shippou asked, tears starting to form in his eyes, the letter in his hand.
Miroku stood up and walked over to Inuyasha, furious."What did you do to Kagome-sama?"
"I didn't. Kikyo did."
Kaede looked up in surprise."My sister?What did she do to Kagome?"
"Kagome can't...she won't....she'll never be able to come back again..."it was getting harder for him to speak as a lump in his throat formed, making it difficult to speak without crying, just like the night before when Kagome was leaving.
Sango asked softly "Is Kagome dead?Did Kikyo kill her?"
"Kikyo pushed Kagome back into the well....and sealed it with her magic."Inuyasha suppressed the waver in his voice to speak properly.
"And where is my sister now?"Kaede asked, her eyes on the ground.
"I-I...I killed her. Her soul can rest now..."the lump in his throat arose again, and he fought to keep the tears at bay.
Kaede smiled sadly, still staring at the ground, her voice soft.
"Thank you, Inuyasha. For releasing her."
"I didn't do it for her. I did it for Kagome."
Shippou was crying loudly now, trying to speak through his tears.
"Why didn't you follow her?"Each word was followed by a wheezing breath.
His anger suddenly returned and he stomped angrily towards Shippou, who was still on Kagome's sleeping bag, which she had left the night before.
"Do you know how hard I tried? Every time I reached the mouth of that damned well, I got repelled by this--this, damned repelling force!"he didn't know how to describe it, and was waving his arm around in the general direction of the door instead.
"I tried so hard.."He couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they spilled over. His back heaved silently as he tried to keep the sobs in.
They stared at the sobbing hanyou in shock, and the whole room was silent, except for Shippou's sobs and Inuyasha's suppressed sobs. They had never seen him cry before, let alone have tears in his eyes.
Inuyasha dropped to the floor of the small room in a boneless heap, crying softly, and hugging himself. Sango and Miroku could only watch him cry in sorrow and pity;their eyes were dry, and they were in too much shock to cry. The tears would come later, and when they came, they would rival Inuyasha's sorrow and pain every bit. Kaede could only stare at the ground, and it was clear that she was not trying to cry as well.
Sango crept over to Shippou, and stroked his hair, talking softly to him.
"Come on Shippou, let's read the letter that Kagome left us.."
Inuyasha sat up, rubbing the tears off his face at the mention of Kagome's leaving a letter behind for them.
Maybe now, I'll know what she wanted to say to me last night, before Kikyo...his train of thought trailed away.
Kaede got up from where she was and took the letter from Shippou, took a shivering breath, and then read Kagome's letter out loud.
"Dear Inuyasha and everybody else, I want to thank all of you for being my friends, and for being my second family. By the time you read this, I'll be back in my time, and this time, I don't think I'll be coming back.
Shippou, you're going to grow up to be a fine young youkai, I just know it! Please don't cry over me leaving you, because, no matter what, my love will always be with you.
Sango-chan, please look after Shippou for me when I'm gone, you're the only one who can, other than me (no offense meant, Kaede-baachan). Miroku, take good care of Sango-chan and stop being such a lecher, ok? Keep a good lookout for Inuyasha, please. Kaede-baachan, thank you so much for being such a good adviser and counsellor to me, and teaching me how to use my powers;you're like a mother to me.
I just wanted all of you to know how much I love you, especially you, Inuyasha.
I don't know whether you feel the same way, but Inuyasha, I started loving you the first day that I saw you. No matter how much you kept going back to Kikyo, and no matter how much pain it caused me, I loved you, and I always will. I always wish that I was her, so that you would show me the love that you showed her, but I'm happy knowing that you at least care for me even as a friend. That alone makes me happy, although I wish it was always something more.
Be happy with Kikyo, Inuyasha. Aishiteru.
Sayonara, minna."
Kagome....I should have told you earlier;I can't say anything to you now, and you're gone, and you can't ever return to me, and be mine. His tears fell and the sobs increased.
Kagome....ore mo....anata wo....aishiteru yo...
His voice cracking and broken, pain making his words barely audible.
"Aishiteru Kagome. Aishiteru.."
AUTHOR'S NOTES:Wow....that was a really long chapter....I'm starting to feel depressed myself.....;_;but....is this too soppy or something??I hope ya'll liked it! For those of you who don't understand Japanese, "Aishiteru" means "I love you", but I suppose that you already knew that. Inuyasha's reply, in his thoughts?That's "I love you too." This story is getting really heart-wrenching, isn't it? It's getting like that for me too....*starts bawling*waaaaaaah!!I don't know why I'm writing something this sad.
Heck, this was only supposed to be a short song-fic, but somehow, its gone and turned itself into this....my English composition essays also turn out like this...I dunno why either... I made it so that Kaede can read; I figured that priestesses should be able to read right?Seeing as they probably keep a whole ton of scrolls or something all the time, so she should know how to read. Miroku....him being a funky type of priest, I had absolutely no idea whether he knew how to read or not, so he's not reading, and Sango has been brought up as a demon-hunter, only knowing how to kill demons, so I figure that she's illiterate too. Shippou's parents are kitsune, I don't think that kitsune actually read so, that's out of the question. I don't suppose Inuyasha's parents taught him how to read or anything, as his father never seemed to be around, and his mother died when he was about, what? 5 years old or something?So Kaede's reading the thing.
Anywayz....
In the next chapter of 'When you're gone...'
Chapter 3: In your dreams
"A curse...you can see her, but she can't see you...how?"
"Don't leave me..."
"Love you...always have, always will...."
*Note!!!!
Chapter 3 will be seperated into part one and part two!!!Part one will be finished very soon, but you'll have to wait sometime for Part 2!!!^_^Please be patient, as I'll post Part 2 ASAP!!!!^_^Thank you for waiting!!!^_^